Sorry about the 3 month New Year break, I will try to update all my stories at some point but with exams on the horizon please forgive me if I am unable to do so.
Death's Advocate
He walked down Diagon Alley slowly, to a point where the world seemed to curve around him and all those in his path instinctively moved out of it. Fearing a consequence that only existed in the recess of their minds,
"You really went all out when I said official didn't you?" Harry asked as he and Death walked side by side down the street, people were glaring but he was more focused on Death. He was wearing a full suit that looked freshly ironed and cleaned, black pressed into his sickly skin and a tie formed what was almost a noose around his neck. In one hand he held a skull topped cane which he was using to guide himself along the busy street. Harry was the only one with him, both Cho and Hermione had elected to stay behind. One was scared she would hex a certain redheads genitals off and the other was just lazy today.
"I need to look the part, or the budgets going to take one more for the team and let me tell you the budget has been taking it like..."
"You don't need to finish that." Harry cut him off there, not wanting to hear another of his enlightening metaphors.
"Whatever, anyway if I don't look the part then that twat may try to make out I'm fiddling the figures." That same venom was in his voice Harry noticed, the one he addressed Fate's PA in.
"Wait figures? Death I'm not helping you commit fraud or fiddle the figures am I?" Harry whispered. Death shook his head in a nonreassuring way.
"One it's not fiddling unless you're caught. That only works with money though! Secondly I'm claiming this trip back from fate on the expenses account. So if anyone asks you, we were visiting a potential hotspot for activity which subsequently could have caused both overt and covert consequences, which in turn may have led to the destabilisation of generic and template response to Fate's bureaucratic system of governance."
"What the hell does that mean?" Harry asked aloud, the entire sentence had gone over his head. Death glared at him from behind thin lenses.
"It means shut up and let me have the expenses. Unlike the politicians you deal with I actually earn what I claim back, well sort of. Shut up." Death grumbled under his breath before looking up at the sky. It was a grey cloudy day and Harry had wondered just how much influence the man next to him had exerted over the weather. It seemed to fit his mood.
"Good morning sir, what business do you have before the bank today?" a clerk politely asked, it was a busy day and he must have been an effort to cut down queues.
"We're here for the Potter will reading," Death answered for Harry, he had to act like the responsible official even though the goblins of Gringotts had varying levels of knowledge on what was actually going on with Harry.
"Ah of course, please follow me." The clerk goblin smiled before leading them towards one of the lower levels of the bank for the meeting. Harry noticed Death was picking up a few stray looks from some of the goblins.
"How much do the Goblin people know exactly?" Harry asked under his breath not sure how lowly he should be talking. Death's eyes lit up with a mixture of rage and irritation.
"Too bloody much, they happen to be the reason we instigated the act forbidding interaction with mortals."
"Why?" Harry asked
"Because they didn't shut up about it, the next thing we knew one the advocates is being worshipped as a God and I'm some sort of sarcastic Satan! So we decided on a simple course of action that prevented mortal interaction. Though the Goblins still tell the stories, which reminds me tell them anything... good afternoon ladies and gentlemen!" Death's veiled threat had to be silenced the moment he was led into a meeting room. Harry had a dark feeling he was going to regret not letting him finish.
The reading room itself was nothing special, a simple wooden table with a selection of creaking, but filled chairs. A glass chandelier twinkled above, surrounded by wood panelled walls and a small stand was erected for reading. There seemed little else to it in all honesty except of course the people.
"Ah, so you must be Harry's legal representative?" Dumbledore, indeed one of them, began slowly and the moment he spoke Harry had a sudden realisation exactly who he had brought to this meeting.
"No I'm a well suited man who just wandered into a will reading to feed on grieving tears. Why don't you sit down before the senility sets in even more?" Death retorted irritably taking his seat and using his cane to demand Harry sit next to him.
"Wait why are you here?" Harry's question was directed at the plump face of Molly Weasley who was sitting calmly opposite him with her most irritating son and daughter.
"To support you of course Harry dear, and to bring you back. Running away last week was a very irr..."
"Listen love I happen to be on a schedule, so if you wouldn't mind settling the disappointed motherly stuff down and shutting up in general, we can get this over a lot quicker. " Death saved him that time and Molly Weasley looked at the man indignantly.
"Excuse me sir!" she gasped with shocked eyes, no one had spoken to her like that for some time it seemed, in Harry's opinion not long enough.
"Are you talking to my mother!" Ron exclaimed angrily
"You can't talk to her like that." Ginny announced at the same time in some bizarre sync with her family.
"Ok number one; you heard, number two; yes I am and number three yes I can, very easily in fact." Death snarled, he was not accustomed to being talked down too by middle aged women and jumped up children.
"Shall we move on?" Remus took a brief silence to interject and he was spared scorn it seemed. Next to him was Tonks and an older woman Harry recognised as her mother, though he did not know her at the moment so said nothing.
"What an excellent idea," The goblin Harry had spoken to last time had been inside the bank slipped into the room. He smiled at Harry before taking a step up and standing before them, he placed a white slip of paper on the stand.
"Now before we begin to is there any legal issues or personal matters that need to be addressed?" he asked quickly, not many people ever spoke during this part. Instead they tended to wait until they had concluded and objections were permitted.
"Yes I would like to request that this man..." Dumbledore gestured towards Death, hoping a name would be given. Silence followed.
"No." Death stated simply, then he turned to the goblin "I nullify this objection by using statue thirty three of the treason act, passed by the ministry in 1337. It states that one witness is required to prove a case, this has been upheld as applying to a majority of both criminal and civil cases and in this case without a witness to prove my presence is unlawful then it must be dismissed."
Everyone turned to look at Death who was now sat back on the wooden chair, looking almost proud. Dumbledore looked confused and the rest of the room, except Harry looked completely bewildered.
"Agreed. Now then I shall move onto the reading of the will. Let it be known now that all those who are mentioned in this will must be present for this reading or submit themselves before this bank within three days or risk losing their inheritance." The goblin's announcement caused Harry to shoot a dark glare at Dumbledore.
"I James Potter, and I Lily Potter hereby declare that what I bequeath is an accurate representation of what I desire to leave and I confirm that it is subject to Gringotts provisions."
"Firstly all funds in the Potter family vault are to go to the next of kin, Harry Potter is labelled next of kin and he has received this already." The Goblin began his commentary as Dumbledore watched on.
"Secondly all estates owned by either of the deceased is again to go to their next of kin. However no estates are registered or intact at time of reading."
"Now on to personal matters. Remus Lupin you are being left a sum of two thousand Galleons, there is a note addressed to you, it reads you cannot refuse it now moony. Signed by both of the deceased." Harry looked at Remus who looked a mixture grateful, shocked and annoyed that he had been made to take money.
"Sirius Black is mentioned by not present."
"Peter Pettigrew is not present." The Goblin continued and Harry just wondered if the rat had ever thought about showing up. He wondered if he had ever felt a slither of remorse for what he had done.
"In which case I move to seize both of their inheritances." Death began but Dumbledore followed with the exact same request. Harry looked blank.
"The bank must give inheritances of the imprisoned or deceased to a lawful authority, Hogwarts would have been this authority."
"Incorrect, as the first born and only child Harry Potter is able to demand the inheritances, a;s Hogwarts is not an authority it's a overfunded school." Death retorted. All eyes turned to Harry.
"Do you request the inheritance?" the goblin asked slowly.
"I do."
"Then it is given. Please sit down." The goblin looked at Death and Dumbledore who looked ready to lock horns.
"Now would a representative of the Tonks, former Black, family please rise?" The Goblin requested, the woman next to Tonks stood up.
"You have been cast out of the Black family and its branches, though this will wishes to include you as a direct family member of House Potter. This direct membership shall be fraternal to the deceased. Do you accept or decline?" Tonks and her mother looked at Harry who nodded. He had not been expecting that and he wondered just how his mother or father had known the family.
"I accept."
"Then by my right as bank representative I rule you member of House Potter. Please sit down." The command was obliged as Harry realised he had just gained an aunt and cousin.
"Now Albus Dumbledore, you are requested as the magical guardian of Harry Potter."
"I object," Death passed an envelope to the Goblin who raised his eyebrows after reading it.
"I see, withdrawn."
"On what grounds?" Dumbledore demanded suddenly, the goblin took one long look at him.
"That is restricted information now sit down."
"You're age." Death whispered, Harry frowned before he remembered. Technically he was older due to the body recycling thing Death had mentioned and he hadn't thought about much.
"Now finally, matters of legal guardianship and long term residence."
"No need, both Petunia and Vernon Dursley signed their rights away here." Death handed another document to the Goblin who nodded and promptly placed the will down.
"Understood, though neither of those names were suggested. In which case the will reading is concluded, may the souls of Lily and James Potter rest in peace. Now respects have been paid are there any matters to bring to the bank's attention."
"I would like to request the inheritance of Harry Potter be impounded until damages have been paid to the Weasley family..." Ron Wealsey much to the horror of his mother stood up and announced boldly. Harry took a moment to react, his face morphed into rage and he looked at Death.
"On what grounds does this ill educated individual request this?"
"Harry Potter led me to a troll, into a passage under the school, the chamber of secrets..." Ron began his eyes wide and greedy.
"That sounds like a Wizengamot matter." Death coughed and he looked at Harry. Harry however frowned before he realised, it was a matter for the courts and therefore he had a way out.
"I veto it." He said simply and with a strange swooping sensation passing over them it was done and Ron just frowned, unsure of what was going on.
"Then the matter is ignored." The goblin declared closing the will over and looking around for any other matters. Ron looked dumbfounded now.
"There is one other matter," Death stood up suddenly, Harry frowned he knew that voice. It was th voice he heard when Death wanted to get the last word in, so he had great experience with it.
"I would like to formally complain about Ron Weasley's previous conduct." He began slowly looking towards the redhead.
"How do you intend to do this?" The goblin asked,
"By inflicting the pain of his insult to his decadents."
"Ron hasn't got children yet!" Molly announced smugly looking towards her son.
"I know." Death replied moving into the table slightly and standing up straight. Ron was still standing out trying to work out why his application had failed, then Death using his cane like a snooker cue jammed it between Ron's legs. A howl of pain followed and Death looked relatively satisfied.
"Right that should do it. Come on Harry I need to get the expense sheet filled in." Death announced as Harry tried to contain his laughter, he started to chuckle as Ron clutched himself on the floor.
"Stop, you see I cannot allow you to take..." Dumbledore tried to interrupt but the pair suddenly vanished, there was no noise, no feeling. They just vanished before Dumbledore had a chance to protest.