Disclaimer: If it was unclear to anyone, this is not JK Rowling's sequel to Harry Potter. I wish.

"Oh, Lily!" Hermione said, throat tight with unshed tears, "You really didn't need to do this for me."

The redhead's returning smile seemed a thousand watts.

"I wanted to. How could I have let your birthday pass without throwing you a party?"

That morning, Hermione had awoken to an empty dormitory. Being an early riser, the other girls were almost always asleep when she got up to shower; but today, they were nowhere to be seen. Little did she know they were preparing for her surprise party. When Hermione ventured out of the dorm, she was startled by a unanimous "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HERMIONE!"Just the night before the girl had been ruminating about how she would have no friends or family to celebrate this year, and now she was in the middle of the festivities. Hermione shook her head in amazement.

"Look at all these presents! You guys are wonderful."

"So I've been told," James said, sending her a wink.

Hermione laughed and said, "Oh, shut it you. Let's open presents."

The first package was solid, an inch thick, and wrapped in purple. She grinned. A book! Hermione tore off the paper and ran her fingers over the embossed title. It was called Secrets of the Arte of Potions by Marcus Cornelio. She thanked Remus profusely before moving on to a chocolate bar from Peter, Guide to Advanced Occlumency by Maxwell Barnett from Lily, a palette of obnoxiously-coloured eyeshadows from Dorcas ("It will look good on you, I promise!" she had explained), a gift card for Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour from James, and a mood ring from Alice.

By the time Hermione had unwrapped everything, tears were streaming down her face.

"I could never have asked for a better birthday. Thank you so much, everyone." She said thickly.

"No problem, Mia. You're one of us now." James told her. Hermione shot him a watery smile.

"Wait! There's one more present!" Sirius blurted, brandishing a black jewellery box. "For you, my lady."

Hermione rolled her eyes playfully, but accepted the gift. Inside the box was a red, drop-shaped pendant attatched to a thin chain. It was beautiful.

"I don't know what to say, Sirius. It's so...wow!" Hermione gasped.

Sirius winked in response.

"Put it on. It'll look lovely on you."

Later at breakfast, Snape approached the girl with his own present; wrapped in deep green velvety paper.

"A necklace," Hermione breathed, fingering the vivid blue amulet. It was exactly the shade her childhood bedroom had been painted, and the memory brought tears to her eyes.

"Severus, it's gorgeous! Thank you."

"The pleasure is mine." He mumbled uncomfortably. No doubt he regretted coming. Severus loathed Gryffindors.

Hermione enveloped Snape in a friendly, but heartfelt hug. When she released him, she noticed Sirius glaring daggers at his back.

"Honestly, boys," Hermione said after a moment of palpable strain, "what is going on? There's been some sort of weird friction between you all week."

Alice added, "you're all acting so strange lately, almost like you're hiding something."

"Yeah, what's up?" Dorcas agreed.

Both Snape and the Gryffindor boys denied the accusation.

"No, nothing going on between us. Just the regular." Sirius said, shooting Hermione what he hoped was a dazzling and reassuring smile. However, she would not be fooled, and narrowed her eyes at him suspiciously.

"I'll find out about whatever it is. Just you wait, Sirius Black!"

Severus awakened unusually early on a Tuesday morning the following week. He was unable to fall asleep again; so he dressed, washed, made his way to the Great Hall, and immediately wished he hadn't.

Hovering outside the not-yet-open doors of the Great Hall was an enormous Grand Piano, enchanted to float by none other than Sirius Black, James Potter, and Peter Pettigrew. Severus seethed. What sort of inanity were those dolts attempting this time?

"Oi, Snape, wanna give us a hand?" Potter called, the piano dipping slightly on his side as his concentration broke.

"I most certainly do not." The boy in question snarled, "what on Earth are you doing?"

Black stuck out his tongue cheekily.

"Wouldn't you like to know."

Black's eyes widened as Snape raised his wand, smirking, presumably to break the spell they had cast.

"All right, I'll tell you!" The mutt said, "just put away your wand."

Severus complied reluctantly and crossed his arms.

"So?"

"The boys and I are singing at breakfast." Black sighed.

Severus snorted, "And why, pray tell, are you doing so?"

"He's gonna serenade Mia." Pettigrew blurted, then blushed as the two Gryffindors berated him for the outburst. Snape bristled with ill-disguised displeasure.

"That's your plan to seduce her?" he hissed, "you will only embarrass her, you unmitigated fools!"

The dog rebutted hotheadedly, "Yeah? Well you think of something better, then!"

"Who says I haven't?" Snape replied glibly, a smirk growing on his face.

Before red-faced Black could say anything, Remus came running in, his face equally flushed.

"Sorry I'm late," He said between pants, "I got held up."

"Right, then, open those fuckin' doors!"

"What in Merlin's name?" Lily, Alice, Dorcas, and Hermione exclaimed in unison.

Before them was a sight to behold. The Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff tables had been parted to make room for a large grand piano, and perched on it were four boys, all dressed in suits of Gryffindor-red. Hermione realised, to her horror, that it was James, Peter, Sirius and Remus.

"Mia! You're here!" Sirius exclaimed, his voice magically amplified. "This is for you, Mia!"

All heads turned to the entrance, and Hermione was overcome with sudden urge to Avada either him or herself.

Instead, she ducked her head as Remus began playing, rushing over to her usual spot with a furious blush on her face. The other girls followed, trying their hardest not to burst out laughing.

"Yeah yeah she's the one

Yeah yeah she's the one

When I see her on the street

You know she makes my life complete"

Hermione was surprised at how good they sounded. She recognised it as a punk rock song from the early 70s, written for guitar, but it sounded quite nice with piano and the harmony of their voices.

"Wait a minute, aren't they singing...?" Hermione thought, horrified, and began listening to the lyrics.

"Yeah yeah she's my girl

Yeah yeah she's my girl

When I see her on the street

You know she makes my life complete"

"What are they doing?" Hermione screeched, and the girls could no longer hold in their laughter.

"And you know I told you so

She's the one, she's the one, she's the one"

Groaning, she buried her face in her hands. Lily patted her on the shoulder amicably. Hermione, wondering why she had ever come to the 70s, chanced a look into Sirius' eyes. The bastard had the audacity to grin.

"Know I'll never find a girl like you

But in my heart I'll always love you"

Once again, heads turned to Hermione as Sirius pointed at her.

"I will kill him. I swear it." She vowed, mortified.

"Yeah yeah she's the girl

The best girl in the whole wide world

When I see her on the street

She's the one, she's the one, she's the one!"

The song ended, and the entire Great Hall (save most of the Slytherins, and Hermione, of course) erupted in cheers.

"What do you say Mia? Will you go out with me?"

The girl closed her eyes for a brief moment, collecting herself, and left the Great Hall without answering.

Hermione slinked in fifteen minutes late to her second class of the day, Transfiguration; sending a grateful look to Professor McGonagall for not chiding her for her tardiness. She had been given enough attention that day to last her the next ten years.

Reluctantly, Hermione took a seat beside Sirius and pretended to pay attention to the lesson. The professor was teaching Human Transfiguration, yet another subject Hermione had read about before, so she didn't feel overly guilty about tuning out the lecture.

Sirirus tried to catch her eye for the whole lesson. Hermione steadily ignored him, and was the first person to leave when class was over. He caught up with her anyway on her way to Defence.

"Mia! Wait!"

"Can I pretend to not have heard him?" Hermione said to herself, deciding that she would, despite the volume of his call.

She groaned as Sirius caught up with her.

"You walk fast," He commented.

Hermione looked at him witheringly and said, "Is there anything you wanted?"

Sirius gulped. "You."

"I'm sorry, what?"

"I want you." He repeated solemnly.

"I am not an object, Sirius." Hermione huffed, crossing her arms and looking around. She had Defence with the other Gryffindors, but they were nowhere to be found. Sirius, knowing him, had asked them to take the long way to class, just so they could be alone.

"Selfish bastard," she thought.

"That's not what I meant. I don't want to own you or anything like that. It's just..." he turned to look at her, "You're really special, Mia. Honest. I've never met anyone quite like you. I know people are saying things about me, but it's just rumours. I care about you."

Hermione raised an eyebrow and said, "So you didn't shag Sophie Roper in a broom closet during the Start-Of-Term feast in your fifth year?"

He turned red.

"Er...er...well..."

"And you never dated the Cresswell twins at the same time for three months?"

"I...I..."

"What about the time you snogged Greta Catchlove in Peters bed? That didn't happen?"

"That...I..."

"You didn't shag Daisy Hookum in the bathroom of the Hogwarts express?"

Sirius, who had been spluttering nonsensically before, said, "Actually, we only snogged."

Hermione threw her hands up.

"As if that makes any difference! The point is, you've dated and snogged and shagged all these girls and chucked them the next day, without caring the least bit about them or their feelings. You can say that this time is different. You can say that you won't treat me like them. You can say that I'm the only one for you. How do I know you're telling the truth?" Hermione sobbed, dropping her indifferent facade, "I won't be another one of your conquests, Sirius. I won't lower myself to that level. I'm sorry."

And with that, Hermione rushed off, leaving Sirius Black open-mouthed and discomposed by a girl for the very first time.

A/N: Ouch! I love making people argue in this story. There will be romance in a few chapters, though. I promise! Thanks for reading :)