You get a little Psychology Lesson! I did my best to explain but I'm sorry if it's kinda confusing. If you still have any questions about it just ask!

Of course this story stretches it a little bit but you know…I do what I want c:

THANK YOU ALL WHO HAVE FAVE/FOLLOW/REVIEWED OR EVEN JUST READ!

Enjoy!

A week since freed from captivity

(Donnie)

He's asleep. He's been in and out of consciousness for a couple of days. It seems his body is trying to make up for the lack of rest in the past six months, that and healing is an exhausting process. He is in a lot of pain, even in this state I can see the obvious twitches of discomfort.

It reminds me of the Mikey I knew six months ago. Mikey used to exaggerate the smallest injuries. For instance he would stub his toe and it was the end of the world. Yet when he had an actual serious problem he would try to be brave. But I always knew, I could always tell how much he was hurting; even through graceful grins I saw the pain in his eyes.

I look over his face, right now he is hurting in ways I have never seen before.

The past few days have been horrible. I'll ask him questions but he won't answer. He hasn't tried to run again but he does try to stand despite my pleadings and protests. He ends up stumbling and falling and then refuses to let me help him. He won't let us touch him. It's a battle for me when I try to change his bandages and I had to wash the grim off because he wouldn't let us help him to the bathtub. He was covered in dirt and blood, so I had to do it whilst he slept. I tried not to wake or hurt him but his skin is fragile and bruised, it was hard not to. When he sleeps, he's normally too tired to care. I have been feeding him through an IV but he keeps trying to yank it out. I want to start given him real food but I don't know if he'll trust me enough to eat it.

When he is awake he doesn't say anything, he hardly even groans. Instead he just stares. He looks at everything like he is converting objects around him into memory. When he looks at me it's with paranoia, he watches my every move with a tense face that just dares me to try something. He doesn't trust me one bit. Leo and Raph come in often but Mikey won't let them get close either. Not even Splinter has been able to make Mikey relax.

Wow it's been a rough couple of days.

After I monitor his wounds I have nothing more to do, so I research. I'm still trying to isolate the drug but I have a feeling it plays a part with why he can't remember anything. It's my only line of inquiry, what could have caused him memory loss? I am worried it's permanent.

I see Raph stalk in the lab; he has had a concussion for the past couple of days. Apparently Mikey slammed the hilt of Leo's Katana on his head. I turn my attention to Raph as he groans his way across the small space. He plops down in the chair we dragged in since everyone is popping in and out.

"How's your head?" I ask. I needed to check up on him but he's being such a bear. I didn't want him to sleep with his concussion but that's all he wanted to do. So I eventually caved in and insisted to stay with him to watch over, just in case. Obviously, he didn't like this idea and fought me tooth and nail. He said I should stay with Mikey but I assured him Leo was quite capable of doing that. Long story short, Raph is even more stubborn when he has a concussion.

Raph closes his eyes and puts a hand to his head.

"Mikey may not be able to remember anything but he still knows how to give me a headache."

I smile. It's a sad smile that doesn't reach my eyes.

"That bad huh?"

He sighs in response. He doesn't move his head; it probably hurts too much. Still he looks up at me through half closing eyes.

"What are you doing?" He asks and nods at the pile of books and my computers with a billion tabs open. I look at it all.

"Research."

He stares at me for a good minute before slouching lower in his chair and shutting his eyes.

"You need a break."

"What?" I baffle.

"You need a break." He repeats. "You've been pushing yourself all week; watching over and tending his wounds, keeping him company, and now even when he's sleeping you spend your time researching. I mean I want to get to the bottom of this too, really I do, but you're gonna burn out if you keep this up."

His concern is touching but I think I'll be fine. This isn't the first time I've lost sleep over my brothers.

"I enjoy it actually, it gives me something to do. It's rather stress relieving in fact." I inform him. He gives me another enigmatic look.

"Uh huh." He mumbles incredulously. I open my mouth to retort back but I see Mikey twitch out of the corner of my eye. He groans softly and I move towards him.

He's waking.

Raph notices too and sits up straighter. Mikey's eyes slowly open, shining with exhaustion. I keep my distance but I step in front of his line of sight. He instantly snaps his attention to me. I grin widely but it still doesn't reach my eyes. Fake smiles were never my forte but Mikey is unstable and needs something reassuring.

"Hey bud, how you feeling?" I ask him. He doesn't answer; he glances at Raph who looks almost as frightened as Mikey does. I elbow Raph in the side and his face twists into his own fake grin.

The silence kills me a little every time; I don't know why I still bother asking him questions. He hasn't spoken since our conversation a week ago. Raph and I exchange a disappointed look. Maybe I should try to get him to eat something. It's time to start with real foods and getting him on a diet anyways, he needs to gain weight.

"How about some food? Are you hungry?" I ask him. He seems to perk up at this; his eyes suddenly eager and full of excitement. He still doesn't say anything but he hesitantly nods his head once. Well at least his desire to eat outweighs his distrust.

I look at Raph and he gives me a thumbs up.

"I got it." He says and I turn on my heel out of the lab. I walk towards the kitchen, running through the list of foods I should try. He needs Vitamins and minerals: Vitamin A, Vitamin D, Vitamin E, Vitamin K, Calcium, Iron, Proteins…

I might have to ask April to go shopping.

(Raph)

I watch Donnie leave in a hurry, he looks pretty happy now that he has a mission. He never has been one to sit and twiddle his thumbs. Donnie just can't handle doing nothing with his thoughts, he needs to fill the void with actions.

I sigh and feel a slight tweak in my head. Concussions aren't like normal headaches; they are migraines on steroids. Absolutely everything hurts. Light becomes unbearable and noise becomes knives. I honestly don't know how much longer I can stay here, even this lighting makes my eyes throb. I am also dizzy, light headed, and moving feels like walking through concrete. At least I am no longer throwing up, that's a plus.

The most annoying thing is Donnie, I mean I know he's just worried and concussions are serious or whatever but I hate being babied.

I put a hand over my eyes and try to soak in the darkness.

"Are you okay?" I hear a hoarse whisper. I sit up from surprise and ignore the screeching groans of my brain. Mikey's blue eyes bore into me; they are full of a strange intensity. He said something. He said something! Should I call for Donnie?

"I'm alright." I mutter, not really sure what to do. He continues to wearily scrutinize me and shakes his head in disbelief.

"You're hurting." He confirms, sounding stronger and louder.

"I have a concussion." I explain.

"Then you are hurt." He reiterates. I don't respond at first, still trying to figure out what to say. He eyes me carefully before asking,

"Did I hurt you?"

I shouldn't lie to him and I'm not going to. He wants the truth and white lies would only make him distrust us even more.

"Yes."

"I-I'm sorry." He apologizes sincerely. I try to smile but I don't think it's any friendlier.

"Don't worry about it. I guess I deserved it for scaring you like I did."

He looks away from me and starts to rub his hand on his leg, nervous fidgeting. Quiet descends on us again and I feel awkward. I want to keep the conversation going but I don't know what to say. What do you typically say to a person after they go through a terrifying and life changing ordeal?

"Are you okay?" I ask him.

Well, that's a dumb question, of course he isn't. Thank you Captain Obvious, he is in a tremendous amount of pain! But he never shows it, he doesn't even groan. I've only seen him flinch or clench his jaw. Still, I can't even imagine what his mental state is right now, he is everything but okay.

He doesn't say anything.

Well I blew it. Dammit I lost my chance. Of course I manage to say something stupid. Typical Raph. I'd slap myself but my concussion is doing that for me.

"I'm never okay." He whispers. I blink at him. A deep sadness washes over me. I reach out to touch him, to assure him I'm here but he recoils away from my hand. I put it back in my lap and frown. I want him to know I'm not a threat but he just doesn't trust me.

He used to trust me so much. Even when I got angry and was a little too rough he always trusted me. Hell I almost bashed his head in with a pipe once and he didn't even care, he brushed it off like it was nothing. His trust in me never faltered. I would give anything to have that back.

I'm never okay

My heart breaks in half. I don't think he just means physical pain either. I think he knows how broken he is. A lump forms in my throat and I have nothing to say. What is there to say? How does someone respond to something like that?

I am saved by the door, Donnie comes back in with a plate food. Fruits mostly. Mikey watches him move closer and stays completely still. Don slows his pace and holds out the collection of strawberries and blueberries.

"It's food." Donnie says softly. Mike's eyes darken and he glances at me.

"It's not a trick." I tell him. He still doesn't look convinced. Don puts the plate down on the edge of the cot and moves away. Mikey watches the food; I can tell he wants it, his biological need is pushing through.

When was the last time he ate?

I doubt he even knows. He reaches out and quickly snatches the plate, he starts eating hungrily. Not even savoring it as it shoves down his throat. I don't think he tastes it, he just feels the satisfaction of food in his stomach.

They didn't even feed him regularly; the ones who did this to him. Monsters. I can't believe someone would be this cruel. He was tortured, drugged, and starved.

I'm never okay

Says the one who hardly even twitches from the pain. Says the one whose eyes only speak of horrors and empty sadness. Says the one who is the spitting image of my brother, but isn't him.

I can't take this right now. I'm not as ready as I thought I'd be to face him. I get out of my chair and earn a quick look from Donnie.

"I think imma go lay down for a bit." I tell him. His eyes flash with sorrow and he frowns. He knows that's bullshit. Well to be fair, my head is bothering me but it's not the reason I'm leaving.

"Okay, get some rest." He plays along. He doesn't look disappointed in me, just sad. He always looks sad nowadays.

I turn around and I have to suck down the tears that threaten to fall. I'm not going to cry, I'm not.

I walk out of the lab quickly. I'm not going to break down again, I'm not.

I take deep breaths. I will be okay, I will.

(Leo)

I sit at the kitchen table drinking a cold cup of water. I play with the beads of condensation dripping down the glass. My muscles are trying to relax from a rigorous training exercise. We haven't been training all week because of Mikey but I don't want to fall behind. Besides exercise is a good stress reliever. It always calms my troubled nerves.

Maybe if I trained a little more none of this would have happened in the first place.

No I can't think like that, this isn't my fault. Raph's right I shouldn't blame myself but I can't seem to help it. Maybe I should speak to Splinter about these excessive feelings of guilt, It isn't healthy.

Speaking of the devil, I hear Raph shuffling in and I look up as he lethargically sways towards the cabinets. His concussion is only minor but he seems to be struggling today. Which means he's been doing too much and needs to rest. He's had a few concussions before so he's been through this routine, I'm sure he feels like he can push the limits. I'm no doctor but I know that too many concussions can be incredibly dangerous, he should be resting.

He doesn't even glance at me but I know he knows I'm here. He opens the cabinet and pulls out a pill bottle. I lean forward to look at it.

Ibuprofen.

In addition to the numerous concussions in this family, I have learned a thing or two about them. He shouldn't be taking ibuprofen, there's a possibility it may increase the risk of bleeding.

"Didn't Donnie tell you not to take those?" I ask as Raph attempts to pop the lid of an Advil bottle but it doesn't budge.

"Something like that." He mutters. His whole arm shakes slightly from the lid resisting him.

"Don't you think you should listen to your doctor?" I tease but I'm very serious, he needs to be careful.

"He's an 'engineer not a doctor.'" Raph poorly mocks Donnie. I grin a little at the impersonation.

"Maybe not, but he does know a thing or two." I subtly lecture.

"At this point, I don't care."He points to his brain and grits between his teeth,"It. Hurts."

"Fine if you want to die that's your prerogative." I shrug. Raph fires a glare before finally managing to unsnap the lid. He is about to pour them in his hand when a loud shout surprises him.

"Guys!" Donnie storms into the kitchen with a large book in his hands. Raph jumps and hundreds of small, circular Advil pills fly out of the bottle. They rain all over the counter and floor, making a loud clatter. Raph blinks at first, then his jaw clenches and he squints his eyes. He turns his head to glare at Donnie but Don is already glaring.

"I thought I told you no ibuprofen." He scolds. I fail to stop a chuckle and cover my mouth with a hand.

Raph huffs sarcastically, "Give me a heart attack next time would ya? We need to put a bell on you."

"Who's with Mikey?" I ask.

"Mikey is asleep right now but Splinter is with him." He answers. Out of the corner of his eyes he sees Raph trying to sneak some Advil in his mouth but Donnie smacks them out of his hand. He grabs the bottle and points across the room.

"Over there, away from the pills." He orders. Raph groans out of frustration but complies. I can't help the grin spreading on my face. It's been a while since I've had a genuine smile.

"So what did you learn?" I ask, pushing a more serious tone.

"Well I—how'd you know that I did?"

"The book." I point at the textbook. That and the fact I've known him my whole life, I know when he's found something interesting.

"Oh, well. Anyways, Mikey's reactions to our masks reminded me of a psychological experiment I read once." He shoves the psychology textbook on the table. It is already open and a picture of dogs appear on the side of the text.

"Pavlov's dogs." I read out loud. Donnie nods his head with excitement and his eyes light up; they always do when he finds something fascinating.

"Classical Conditioning." He informs us.

"What's that?" Raph asks.

"It's a learning technique."

"What does Mikey have to do with Pavloafs Dogs?" Raph questions.

"Pavlov." Donnie automatically corrects. "Well, Classical conditioning involves learning a new behavior via the process of association. In simple terms, two stimuli are linked together to produce a new learned response. It connects an unconditioned response with a certain stimulus to create a new response."

"What makes you think I understood anything you just said?" Raph crosses his arms.

He sighs and tilts his head up, searching for a better way to explain. Then he points to the dogs in the book.

"Okay, Dogs have a natural tendency to salivate when they see food. It's a natural or an unconditioned response. Food is an unconditioned stimulus; you don't have to be taught to respond to it." He stops to make sure we are both following.

"Alright." I nod.

"So there was a bell that would ring before Pavlov brought the dogs food, after a while he noticed the dogs started to salivate to the ring of the bell before the food was brought to them, they began to associate the noise with food. So the bell becomes a conditioned or learned stimulus and the dogs who originally salivated to food would now salivate to the bell, creating a conditioned or learned response."

"I think I get it. But what does Pavliv's dogs have to do with Mikey?" Raph inquires.

"Pavlov." Donnie corrects again.

"Whatever."

"Are you saying that his captors associated the color of our masks to an action? That they created a um, conditioned response?" I think I get it.

"Precisely! However that's only a hypothesis." Donnie affirms. It grows quiet as we all soak in this information.

Raph furiously growls. "So what you're saying is they used us? This wasn't just about Mikey, they did this to hurt all of us." Raph angrily spits out and slams a fist on the table.

"Bastards." He grits through clenching teeth. Donnie doesn't say anything; he just stares at Raph with a heartbroken expression. I rub my finger along my glass of water and stare. Raph is right; this was meant to test all of us.

"Is there any way to reverse the effect?" I quietly ask. Don pauses before speaking.

"Possibly."

"How?" Raph asks sharply, his tone biting and bitter. None of it meant towards Donnie.

"We will have to break the conditioning. If the stimulus is inconsistent, the learned behavior will be lost. If we can do that successfully, it will change back to what it was before the conditioning happened."

"How do we do that? We don't know what they did and it's not like we can ask him. He doesn't exactly feel like opening up." Raph points out.

"We will just have to be patient." I declare. Raph's mouth twitches, he doesn't like that idea too well. He turns to Donnie,

"You said it will change him back, will we get our Mikey back?" He asks, hope glinting in his eyes. Donnie gives him a sad look and my stomach turns.

"Not necessarily. It will destroy the effects of the masks but he was still tortured, he was mentally scarred from his experience and that won't change." Raph's eyes darken once again and I frown. It wouldn't be that easy, it never is.

"I have more," Donnie clears his throat, "I think he was pumped full of drugs that purposely caused amnesia."

"What?" Raph and I both sit up.

"Benzodiazepines. It's a class of drugs that can cause a drug induced amnesia. These drugs can be used to make people forget or unable to create new memories. They are used for surgeries and sometimes even therapeutic treatments for traumatic events, it purposely causes repression. Honestly, I doubt he recalls most of his captivity, they used a lot of it." He explains and we listen intently.

I sigh. They purposely made him forget us and then they taught him to be fearful of us. They destroyed him by destroying his memories, his family. Once we were wiped from his mind it was probably easy to warp and twist his brain. Why? What was the purpose of this? What gave them the right to mess with our lives like this?

The odd thing is that don't feel angry, just guilty. That feeling again, every time I look at Mikey it comes slamming back into me with a new force. There's a voice in my head, telling me that I let this happen to my family.

The past is the past, I need to worry about the future. At least we have something to work with. We may not be able to bring back the old Mikey but we can certainly help him get better, and we will. I swear on my life we will do everything we can.

"When the drugs wear off, is there a chance he can get his memories back?" Raph asks.

"Maybe." Is all Donnie says and that's all he will say for the time being.

Raph sighs.

"Damn Pavlen's dogs." He mumbles. Donnie opens his mouth to correct him but he stops himself. His mouth twists into an irritated frown.

"Are you doing that on purpose?" He scoffs.

Okay so about the drugs. There are real drugs that purposely cause amnesia and it is a real thing, however I embellish it's power.

I hope my explanation came across okay, it's kind of hard to explain!

Review please and thank you c: