Chapter 10: Christmas, Part I

Summary: Dorie Winger hosts Christmas.

Annie was relieved she made it though the final week of the semester. It had been a lot of work. She was still basking in the glow of learning that she and all her fellow study group members had passed Spanish 101 and would be taking Spanish 102 together in the spring.

Shirley's attempt at a Holiday/Christmas on December 10th party had been uncomfortable, but luckily the group all bonded together eventually, even if it did involve a snowball fight. Well, more of a fight actually, but there was snow on the ground.

Annie was relishing the silence and celebrating Hanukkah with Sophie. It was more of a solo endeavor, as Sophie couldn't really participate, although she did seem to like looking at the candles each night. While this was a little lonely it was preferable to dealing with her mother who was so perfectionistic about the holiday. It had always been stressful, making sure everything was just so. Annie swore she would never do that to her own child.

She looked around her apartment and reflected on what had been happening in this whirlwind of the past few weeks. She was glad Jeff had urged her to get in contact with Sophie's father, but now things were getting more complicated. But she supposed it was in a good way. She suddenly felt this was something she should probably tell Jeff about.

Jeff had been helpful but in more of a semi-detached way. Well except for when he stayed all night with her on the couch. She supposed he went above and beyond with that one. But she suspected he felt held hostage a little bit.

Jeff had been scarce over the past couple weeks, explaining he needed to get some work done for Ted. She suspected he was also healing up from the fight. Well, she'd be seeing him soon enough. They were still planning on going to Christmas at his mom's house. She could fill him in then.

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"Get in the car, Annie."

"Wow, how chivalrous of you."

"Well, I'm running late. My mom's going to start calling me. Get in."

"Jeff, I can't just jump in your car."

"Annie, we don't need the playpen. I told you my mom has something you can use. She borrowed it from her neighbor or something."

"I know. We need to put Sophie's car seat in the back. And Thanos is getting it for me."

Jeff looked up. "I didn't want to deal with him today."

"Well, I doubt he's going to charge you for idling your engine in the side parking lot."

He sighed and killed the engine. "Okay, I will go grab that thing from Thanos. He doesn't need to get involved."

"Don't be ridiculous. See…here he comes."

Jeff rolled his eyes as he stepped out of the car. Thanos was walking toward them with the car seat at his side. Was he strutting? He smiled at Annie and turned to Jeff as he approached. "Hello!"

Jeff affected a tight smile. "Hello, Thanos. It's good to see you. Thank you for helping Annie with the car seat."

"It's no problem. I notice you are not staying? You are going somewhere?"

"No, we aren't staying. But thank you for inquiring."

Thanos smirked. He turned to Annie as he began to place the car seat in the back.

Annie smiled. "Thank you, Thanos. You're so helpful."

Jeff glared and stopped him. "Hey, thank you, but I've got this. I can do it."

"Whatever you say. I know how to strap in a car seat. It's not as easy as it looks, you know."

"I've got it, Thanos. Thank you. You can go."

"Okay. Merry Christmas, Annie, Sophie." Thanos nodded and walked back into Dildopolis.

Annie turned to Jeff. "You didn't have to be so rude! He could have helped. It's a little tricky to get these things right. Now it's going to take a while."

"Annie, I'm sure it's not a big deal. I can figure it out."

"Jeff, this has to be done in particular way, you know, for safety. And Thanos knows this stuff…"

"Yeah, right. He's just trying to butter you up, Annie. Don't you see it?"

She stared at him. "Seriously, Jeff? Are you jealous of Thanos?"

"What? No! I just thought you should be aware that he might have designs on you, Annie. I think you're oblivious sometimes."

"Jeff, you're the one who's oblivious."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Thanos is married Jeff. He and his wife have an 8-month-old child. We're trying to arrange a play date when the babies are little older and can, you know, actually play with each other."

"Oh. Then why does he always smirk at me?"

"Because you're my pimp, Jeff. And you also smirk at him. I think you started it."

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After they finally finagled the car seat into Jeff's Lexus, Jeff took a good look at Sophie.

"Annie, what is she wearing? She looks ridiculous."

"Jeff!"

"She's dressed like Maggie Simpson from the Simpsons. It's not a great look."

"I think she's adorable. You don't think my baby is adorable? You're a Grinch."

"I didn't say your baby wasn't adorable. I said her outfit is ridiculous. She's going to get overheated in the car you know. And how can she possibly move in that thing? I don't want a screaming kid the whole drive to my mom's."

"Jeff, I'm planning to take it off her once I get her in the car. This is her outdoor wear."

"Are you serious? She's never outdoors."

"Well she has been for the last twenty minutes while you've been fiddling with the car seat. If she wasn't bundled up she'd be freezing."

"Fine. Look, I'm sorry….." Jeff hoisted Sophie and plopped her down on the car seat. "Oh God, we're going to be late to my mom's. I need to call her for a sec. Hold on." He moved away from the car and pulled out his phone.

Annie picked up Sophie, removed her star costume and placed her gently in the car seat. She began to buckle the straps. "Jeff, it's okay. I already told her we were running late and why. She says it's fine."

"Wait…when did you call her? You've been standing here the entire time."

"Oh, I texted her."

Silence.

"Jeff, what's wrong? You look really funny."

"Nothing….er…So my mom texts you?"

"Yes. We've actually had several text exchanges, you know to coordinate stuff for Christmas. She's really savvy with it too. You should see some of the emoticons she uses…I wonder where she got those."

Silence.

"Jeff?"

"Nothing. Get in the car. We need to go."

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"Jeffrey, I am so pleased that you and Annie could make it! Hello, Sophie, it's so good to see you again. May I, dear?" Dorie whisked Sophie out of Annie's arms.

"Hi, Dorie, thanks for having us over." Annie smiled as she began putting down her purse and diaper bag. She took a quick look around, noticing that the house felt warm and welcoming. There were Christmas decorations everywhere.

"And what do we have here? She's a starfish? Aren't you a sweetheart! Here, it'll be a shame to get this off of you, but we must. You'll burn up in here."

"Thanks, Dorie."

"Hi mom."

"I'll give you a hug in a second, dear."

"No problem."

Dorie showed them where to put Sophie's things and their bags. Annie noticed Christmas music was playing and voices coming from the kitchen but Dorie assured her they could get settled in before joining the others. Annie was aware of a faint barking sound.

Annie took Sophie into a bedroom in order to put their bags away and make sure she was changed. Dorie seized the opportunity to talk to Jeff alone.

"So dear, I'm glad you could make it and that Annie and her baby could join us. I was starting to get worried after that interesting phone call."

"Mom!" Jeff was staring at the ceiling with his arms crossed.

"Well it was very interesting, dear. I mean I'm still not sure why you called me almost in a panic. I told you it didn't even cross my mind that you and Annie were more than friends. Just because I took an interest in her doesn't mean that I assumed you two were together. I never thought you and Ian were together…"

"Mom!" He sighed. "Look, I'm sorry I overreacted. I just realized after your visit that maybe you misunderstood things. I didn't want anything to be awkward on Christmas."

"Well, this certainly isn't awkward for me, Jeffrey. I can't speak for you."

"Mom!"

"And why would it matter anyway? Why are you so invested in me not misunderstanding your relationship to that girl? Unless there are more questions I should be asking…"

"Mom! No, that's not it. I really just didn't want you to make assumptions. You know, that would be weird."

"Of course, Jeffrey."

Silence. God, he was going to kill Abed.

"Look, honey, I think Annie's great. She seems like a good friend to you, and Ian also had lovely things to say about her."

"You've been questioning Ian about her then?"

"Well, I had to do some research, dear. You understand."

He looked down at her. "Why did you need to do that, mom? I mean, I would think you'd know her pretty well by now given that you are text buddies. Apparently, you do know how to text."

Dorie's eyes widened. "Did I hear Hank? Oh no, I forgot to feed him. Dear, I need to go. Please make sure Annie's settled in and then come join us."

"Yeah, okay."

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Annie found Christmas at Dorie Winger's to be enlightening. And amusing. Turns out a hodgepodge of people were present. Annie was trying to keep all the names and relationships straight in her mind. Dorie introduced her to her sister Ellen, her husband Lou, and their grown daughter, Jeff's cousin Holly. Annie thought Holly was probably around Jeff's age. Holly was married to Matt and they had a two year old named Sam. There was a neighbor Maybelle who looked to be in her eighties. And some guy named Tom? Yes, she thinks that was his name. He was probably around seventy. She thought Dorie say something about him being her plumber. His wife had run off with some guy and he was alone suddenly on the holidays. And of course there was Ian Duncan.

She thought that took care of the humans. There were some furry creatures as well, including the infamous Hank who appeared to be mostly golden retriever. She thought she saw a couple cats walk by in the background. And there was a rabbit but it was confined to the laundry room for the duration of the party. Apparently it was litter box trained.

Ian Duncan and Dorie appeared to be very friendly. Annie noticed that Ian would often embrace Dorie quickly before running out of the room to get something for her. He volunteered for setting the table and anything else she needed. There was something different about him. Annie couldn't figure it out.

Jeff sidled up to her. "He's not drunk."

"I'm sorry?"

"Ian's sober. My mom has a rule. No over indulging in the house. She'll allow us to have a drink or two with dinner but that's it. And Ian's not allowed to have any because she knows he can't stop once he starts."

Annie looked up at Jeff. "Really? Wow."

"Well, my dad was a drunk, Annie. She's had some trauma there. And Ian to his credit gets it. He doesn't want to upset her. Well he learned that from experience but that's a story for another day."

"Jeff, your mom seems great, but I guess I don't really understand why Ian's so enamored with her. Is there something I'm missing here?"

Jeff smirked. "Oh, don't worry…they're not involved. I wondered that at first too before I needed to bleach my brain. What can I say? Ian has mommy issues, or as he would say it 'mum-issues.' And my mom likes a project. Especially one who will listen to her this time. She could never get my dad to listen."

Annie noticed something strange in Jeff's tone.

"Jeff, are you okay?"

"Um, yeah. I just don't know why she has to be so damn open all the time. It's like she doesn't care that one day something terrible is going to happen to her again."

"Jeff?"

"Never mind. I gotta go grab my holiday drink." He scuttled away.

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"So, Miss Annie, if you haven't noticed, the dog is blind. You need to make sure your child isn't in his path."

Annie widened her eyes and grabbed Sophie. She then arose from where they were seated on the floor. She turned to face Professor Duncan.

"Oh, really? I was wondering why he kept bumping into things. Thanks, Professor Duncan."

"Not a problem." He nodded as he sipped on a mug of hot cocoa.

Annie smiled tentatively. "So, is this weird? That we're both here?"

"Not at all, Annie. I mean, I'm fine with it. It seems we're both friends of Jeff's.

"I guess. Although you two don't seem very friendly with each other today."

Professor Duncan waved a hand in the air. "Oh, that's just Winger being Winger. You know how he is I suppose."

"Right. Speaking of Jeff, can I ask you a question? I mean, I've been trying to figure it out and I don't know…"

"It's okay, Annie. Just ask."

"Well, I've noticed that Jeff keeps looking upward when he's talking to his mom. We had lunch with Dorie one day and he spent the entire time avoiding eye contact with her by literally looking at the ceiling. I've never seen him do that before. And he's doing it again tonight. Do you know what that's about? It's really strange."

Professor Duncan smiled broadly. "Oh, it's the classic Winger avoidance tactic. He does it all the time. Surely you've noticed. Well, he usually does it with his phone. But of course he can't do that with Dorie."

Realization dawned on Annie's face. "You mean when he says he's texting someone…."

"Right, now you get it. He's just uncomfortable."

She nodded. "That makes sense. But wait…what do you mean he can't do that with Dorie?"

"She has a rule, Annie. No phones out at the table. And no phones out when you are having a conversation with her. The poor boy is left to more Luddite methods. Methods I'm sure he needed to employ in childhood."

"You mean he never looks at her?"

Professor Duncan laughed. "Well, no that's not quite the case. He's not usually this uncomfortable around her. He's just like a dog with his tail between his legs coming home after screwing up is all. He confessed, Annie. Dorie told me all about it. And now he doesn't know where he stands with her."

"But she loves him! It's obvious."

"Tell that to Winger, Annie. I could write a paper on the guy."

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"So you're Holly?"

The woman smiled and motioned Annie over to her as she played with her son on the floor. "Yes, and its Annie, right?"

Annie sat down with Sophie on her lap. "Correct. Now I'm trying to keep everyone straight…. You're Jeff's cousin?"

Holly laughed. "Yeah, I know it's got to be a little confusing to walk into this gathering. Yes, my mom and Aunt Dorie are sisters. My mom is Ellen, and she's the oldest by eight years. But she and Aunt Dorie had me and Jeff around the same time."

Annie smiled. "Oh, that must have been nice, to grow up together and be so close in age."

Holly frowned. "I suppose that might have been good. That's not really how it was though. I don't really know Jeff that well. He's a hard guy to know. We lived in Illinois, and Aunt Dorie moved out here to Colorado. She ran off with Bill and had Jeff out here."

"Bill is Jeff's father?"

"Yup. Don't know where he is. I don't think anyone does."

"So you mean you guys never saw each other growing up? Ellen and Dorie seem like they are getting along."

Holly sighed. "Well, everything's okay now for the most part. They went years without seeing each other. But that was mostly because of the Bill situation, as I'm sure you've heard all about that by now. That was a nasty thing. I think I remember meeting him like once, I must have been about nine or something. It was right before he took off."

Annie nodded. "I suppose I can see how that type of thing might have put a wedge between Dorie and your mom."

"Right. But Aunt Dorie's been on her own for years now, and well maybe not exactly on her own all the time, but she's never remarried. Which is probably good because she's not always the best judge of men. But you didn't hear that from me."

Annie nodded again. "Yeah, no worries."

Holly was pushing a toy truck toward her son. The toddler glanced at Sophie, poked at her face, and then resumed playing with the truck. Sophie swatted at him from Annie's lap.

Holly hesitated. "So you and Jeff are friends? Like do you hang out with Jeff and Ian? I must say, I don't really picture it."

Annie laughed. "Yes, Jeff and I are friends. We're in a study group together taking a Spanish class. Ian Duncan is my psych professor, actually. Jeff and Professor Duncan knew each other before Jeff came to Greendale."

"Oh, so how good of friends are you? I mean he's never brought a girl to Christmas before…"

"We're just friends. Good friends. But just friends."

Holly nodded. "Yeah, that's what Aunt Dorie said. She specifically told me not to ask Jeff about it though. She said not to mention it at all. Which of course made me want to ask someone about it..."

Annie changed the subject. "It is a little weird to have Professor Duncan here I guess. But Jeff says he's been here before."

Holly looked at Annie intently. "That's right…Ian comes around sometimes, but he wasn't here last year. He and Aunt Dorie had a huge fight the year before." She paused before continuing. "And Aunt Dorie said something about Jeff deciding to take a Spanish class. I guess he must need it with his law work? I suppose that makes sense, makes him more marketable. She said he's been thinking of changing his career path or something."

Annie replied quickly, "Yes, I suppose you should ask him about that. He's rethinking a few things. It's been fun to take Spanish together." She changed the subject again, "So this is your son, Sam, right? Too bad Sophie's so little she can't play with him just yet."

Sam toddled over to Hank and grabbed his ear. The dog licked him across the face.

Holly appeared unfazed. "Yes, well, nothing's perfect. But I will say it's nice to have someone else around here with a kid."

Annie laughed. "Yeah, it's tough sometimes to be dealing with all the baby stuff while the grown ups go play."

Holly smiled. "Well personally I think the grown up stuff is overrated. I mean look over there…don't you think Jeff and Ian look miserable?"

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"Gross." Jeff shuddered as he watched Hank lick Sam.

"What is it, Winger?"

"Nothing."

"Well aren't we in the holiday spirit, Jeff my boy?

Jeff turned to look at Ian. "Look, I can't believe you guilted my mother into inviting you here this year. You have some nerve."

Ian laughed. "Guilted? Is that what you think? I was merely talking to her and she happily invited me."

"Right. Look, I'm surprised you'd want to remain sober."

"Hey, I'd do anything for Dorie. Even that. It's a small price to pay for a slice of her pecan pie."

"Um hum."

"What?"

"And you count on me not telling her how you'll be off the wagon again as soon as you get back to Greendale?"

"You know you'll end up joining me at some point. So you won't mention it. Because then I'd be forced to tell her who was my drinking buddy. And then she'd be back at your place confiscating your scotch."

Jeff sighed. "Whatever."

Ian raised his eyebrows. "Speaking of your place, Dorie tells me that's where she met Annie. She seemed quite tickled by the whole thing. It's giving her something to focus on besides your shameful spiral."

"Ha ha."

"Watch it, Winger. Your mum may be a sassy bird but she's more fragile than you think."

"Trust me, I know."

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Annie was able to corner Jeff alone eventually. She found him in the back den, looking out the window.

"Here you are. I've been looking for you."

He turned, "Oh, what? Why?"

"Well, you brought me here, Jeff. And I missed you."

"Yeah, yeah."

"I did."

"Okay. Hey, where's the baby hobbit? Did you let Hank have her? Cause even though he's a pretty nice dog, that would not be a good situation."

She laughed. "Your mom has her. She can't get enough of her."

"Oh good. That will buy me some time. I'll bring her someone's kid every Christmas. It'll be like an offering or something."

"Funny."

"It would be."

"Are you okay?"

He sighed. "Yes, Annie, I'm fine. I just can't take all that noise all the time. And I think something furry walked across my foot. And it wasn't Hank. I'm hoping it was one of the cats."

"You know, you don't have to hide from everyone."

"I'm not hiding."

"Jeff, I'm not sure if you know this, but I was talking to Holly, and she said that your mom is telling everyone that you're taking a Spanish class and rethinking your career trajectory or something. I think she's been pretty vague. But I'm positive she hasn't told anyone what really happened."

"Oh. I wasn't sure what everyone knew."

"I know, Jeff, which is why I'm telling you this. So I think it's up to you if or when you want to let others know. Your mom did a nice thing in being honest without being too honest."

"Thanks."

"Jeff, it's hard to watch you being this uncomfortable with your own family. Your mom loves you. Why won't you let her take care of you?"

"Annie, it's not that simple." He glanced up at the ceiling. "I mean, I …"

"Hey, you're not doing that to me, mister. Look at me."

"What?" He looked down at her.

"Good. I'm right here, Jeff. You don't have to be uncomfortable around me. I'm your friend. And I just want you to enjoy Christmas."

He sighed.

"You're a good guy, Jeff."

"You may think that but that's only because you have low expectations."

She looked at him sadly and shook her head.

He smiled slightly. "Okay, sorry." He glanced over her head and his eyes widened.

"What? What are you looking at?" She turned around and looked above her. There was mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, dropping to about a foot above her shoulder.

She turned back to face him.

"It's just mistletoe, Jeff."

"Uh, yeah, I know."

"What? Jeff, do you want to kiss me?" She batted her eyes.

"What? No."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Annie, stop it."

"What? Now am I making you uncomfortable?"

He smirked. "Yes, yes, you are. And I know what you're doing. I'm not going to be in a good mood."

"But you're almost smiling, Jeff. Come one, we're almost there. Ahh….there it is."

He whispered, "I thought I was the one who was supposed to get you to smile?"

"What? I don't underst….."

Jeff leaned in…

"Ahem. Jeff, my boy! Your mum's looking for you."

Annie and Jeff froze.

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"So that was fun Winger. Did I just interrupt something back there?"

"You're an ass, Ian."

"I know. That's what you get for ignoring your mum. Why should you have any fun at her party when you're breaking her heart?"

"Shut it, Ian."