Disclaimers: No, Castle isn't mine. Neither are the songs that I'm using.

Summary: Post 6x05 'Probable Cause,' and 6x04 'Number One Fan.' Castle and Beckett's take on how each of them brought new life to the other. Sorry, I can't explain any better than that.

A/N #1: The song for this chapter is called 'With You I'm Born Again' by Billy Preston and Syreeta. I love, love, love this song.

A/N #2: Kate's part of this chapter will fill in the blanks from the first chapter of this story when she told Jenny that she was Castle's Number One fan.

A/N #3: Without giving away anything regarding tonight's 'Castle,' I thought now was a good time to explore Castle's fears regarding 3XK.

Chapter 10: With You I'm Born Again

Come bring me your softness

Comfort me through all this madness

Woman, don't you know with you I'm born again

Castle

His heart leapt into his throat when he saw her in the doorway. He'd hoped that she would've understood his message when she'd put the handcuffs on him at the precinct. Her eyes met his before she walked down the two steps and into his arms as he crushed her to his chest, relishing the feel of her in his arms once again. It had felt like days since he'd held her like he was now, the warmth of her feeling like home. "I am so glad that you understood my message," he breathed into her hair.

"What you wouldn't give to be back in the first place where I ever arrested you," she pulled back to smile at him, tenderly touching his face. "Like I am ever going to forget that day."

He stared into her eyes, wanting to take her away and make love to her. But, first they had to work to clear his name and find Jerry Tyson, either arrest him or put him in the ground once and for all. That was the only way that they were going to end this.

"How did you do it?" She asked, referring to his jail break.

"I called in a few favors. Look, the less you know, the better."

After she told him that the D.A. had ordered an APB to be put out on him, he knew that they had to work fast. So, they did what they always did best and put the pieces together.

On the bridge early the next morning watching as divers searched futilely for Tyson's body, Kate watched Castle. She was cold and tired, but he steadfastly refused to leave until they found a body. "Castle, it could be hours or maybe even days before they find his body. The East River doesn't easily give up its bodies."

"He's not dead," he stated in a flat voice.

"Castle, he's dead. I unloaded my gun into him. You shot him into the fucking river. He's dead. Come on, we can get a ride back to the loft. Gates or the boys will call when they find something."

He turned to look at her as if seeing her for the first time. His eyes were dull and tired from his long ordeal. But he couldn't help but notice the bloody cut on Kate's cheek. This had been as hard on her and his family as it had been on him. "Can we go to your place?"

"Yeah. But, you need to call to let your mother and Alexis know that you're all right."

"Okay." He took her hand as they left the bridge. Her car was going to be towed to the garage, so she hailed a cab.

When it stopped in front of her apartment, she paid the driver before leading Castle into the building and up to her apartment, where she unlocked the door and led him inside. He walked over to the sofa and sat down, putting his head in his hands wearily. Kate locked the door before coming over to sit down beside him, placing her hand on his knee.

He slowly put his hands down and looked at her, his eyes red-rimmed and watery. Kate didn't say anything. She just wrapped her arms around him and pulled him to her, holding him as he sobbed out all of the fears and frustrations that he'd been holding inside for the past 24 plus hours. She softly stroked his back and held him, much as he'd held her through countless nights of nightmares and flashbacks. "It's never going to end," he said after several minutes.

"They're going to find him, Rick. If he's not dead in the river, then we're going to get him."

"Now I know how you feel about the Bracken situation. Well, maybe that was the wrong analogy—"

"Its okay, Castle. I understand what you mean. How about some breakfast? You must be starving."

"I'm not hungry. I'm just bone crushing tired."

Come give me your sweetness

Now there's you there is no weakness

Lyin' safe within your arms I'm born again

I was half, not whole

In step with none

Reaching through this world in need of one

Kate pulled him down so that he was lying flat on her lap, softly stroking his hair and his back until she heard soft snored emitting from him. She continued running his fingers through his hair as he slept, his weight heavy and warm on her legs. She continued running her long fingers through his hair as it flopped across his forehead as he slept. Her cheek throbbed where Tyson had hit her, but she didn't get up to tend to it. She didn't want to disturb Castle. She knew that it had been more than 24 hours since he'd last gotten any sleep. She was also tired, but she was used to going for long stretches without sleeping. Her job often demanded it.

His hair felt feathery soft under her fingers. Her heart swelled with love for this sweet, gentle man. Maybe one day she could actually say those words to him. Maybe she could tell him that she loved him. Tears trickled slowly down her face as she kept stroking his hair, letting her fingers trail down to his cheek as he mumbled something and burrowed his face deeper into her lap. She reached up and wiped impatiently at her face, wincing as the salt from her tears stung her face.

It was more than an hour later before Castle finally woke up. At first he was confused about his surroundings, but then he remembered where he was. He struggled to sit up. "Hey," his voice was gravelly as he sat up next to Kate. "You need to take care of that cut."

"I'm okay. How about a shower?" She stood up and held her hands out to him. "Then we can both go to bed for a few hours."

"Have you heard anything?"

"No. Like I said, it could be days, Castle."

"They're not going to find him, Kate."

"Castle—"

"He's like a fucking cat with nine lives. He's going to be my Moriarty," he made a reference to the nemesis of Sherlock Holmes.

"Come on, let's take a shower."

Kate's shower was tiny compared to the one in his loft, but for once, he didn't seem to mind. He wanted to be as close to Kate as was humanly possible. They kissed and touched, but it wasn't sexual. It was just a means of reconnecting with each other. While she longed to make love to him, she could still see how very tired he was. It was carved into his face, into his body as they washed each other.

After they got out of the shower, dried off, and got dressed, she led him into her bedroom and turned down the bed before helping him into it before climbing in after him. She picked up her cell phone and set the alarm. "We'll get up in a couple of hours and I'll fix us something to eat," she kissed him softly, feeling him curl into her body, wrapping his arms protectively around her. Only she felt like she was the one who should be protecting him for once.

It was the sounds of him calling out in his sleep that woke Kate up before the alarm had a chance to go off. She could feel him thrashing even as he kept her clutched tightly to him. She rolled over and cupped his face with her hands. "Castle," she whispered. "Rick? Come on, you're having a bad dream. Wake up."

After several minutes, his blue eyes opened to meet her green ones. "Kate?"

"I'm here," she smiled, kissing him softly. "You're home. You're safe."

He reached up and pulled her down to his shoulder, rubbing her back. "He made me watch him kill you, Kate," he choked out. "He made me watch and there was nothing that I could do."

"It was just a dream, Rick," she whispered. "Please believe me when I tell you that they're going to find him."

"Have I ever told you how much you've changed my life?" He kissed the top of her hair. "You've made me a better man, Kate."

"I think that you were that man all along. You just didn't know it."

"No, I always acted like such a child. Even when I was married to Meredith and Gina. I was all about having a good time. I thought it was all about me. Even after I started raising Alexis, I still acted like that self-centered jerk. When I fell in love with you, I realized that I could actually care about another person besides myself. I'd die if I were to lose you."

"Rick, I'm not going anywhere."

"I sometimes dream that you are. Sometimes they're stupid dreams where you leave me for Josh or for some reason, Demming," he made a face as Kate chuckled. "But, the other dreams . . . usually I dream about that day in the cemetery. Or the storage container."

"I have those dreams, too," she admitted. "For the record, I'm not about to leave you for anybody else. We fought too hard to get to where we are now."

"Well, you proved that you definitely love me."

"How so?"

"You broke me out of prison."

"I told you a long time ago that I'd get you out. Remember?" She kissed him again as his arms tightened around hers and his tongue traced her bottom lip.

"I remember everything that you say to me."

***CCC***

Come show me your kindness

In your arms I know I'll find this

Woman, don't you know with you I'm born again
Lyin' safe with you, I'm born again

Come bring me your softness

Comfort me through all this madness

Woman, don't you know with you I'm born again

Come give me your sweetness

Now there's you there is no weakness

Lyin' safe within your arms I'm born again

I was half, not whole

In step with none

Reaching through this world in need of one

Kate

Castle winced as he reached up to touch the huge bruise on his chest. The bruise left by a bullet fired at close range into his bullet-proof vest. He got up and padded into the bathroom and closed the door behind him. He walked over to the mirror and raised his shirt, gasping when he saw the brilliant colors that marked his chest. "You need another ice pack," he turned to find Kate standing in the doorway, her hair rumpled from sleep.

"How's your hangover?" He walked over and pulled her into his arms.

"How's yours?" She asked back.

"I don't have one. I'm not the one who drank a 40 dollar shot."

"Esposito is so going to pay," she carefully pressed herself against his chest. "Go make coffee, Castle. I need to pee and take a shower. Put an ice pack on that bruise."

"Okay," he pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "Do you want breakfast?"

"No, just coffee."

He left her to take care of business while he went to the kitchen to make coffee. As he busied himself around the kitchen, he found himself wondering about something Kate had said the night before. When she'd told Espo that Emma wasn't his number one fan, she was.

He'd known for some time that Kate was a fan. He knew that she subscribed to his fan site and Will Sorenson had commented on the fact that she was a fan during one of their early cases. But it was something that she carefully avoided every time he brought it up. But they were a committed couple now. They'd been opening up to each other more about the other ones past. He wondered if she was ready to talk to him about her number one fan status. He really wanted to know how she'd become such a fan of his.

He looked up when Kate walked toward the kitchen, wearing a pair of sweats and one of his t-shirts, her hair damp around her shoulders. She smiled gratefully when he handed her a cup of coffee. "Thank you," she took a sip as her eyes closed blissfully.

"Can I ask you something?" He asked, coming around the counter and perching on the stool next to her. "You said last night that Emma wasn't my number one fan. That you are. You've said that before. Do you care to elaborate?"

She put her coffee cup down and smiled at the ruggedly handsome man at her side. He was sometimes annoying, childish, self-centered, and egotistical, but she could never deny that she loved him very much. "I was such a wreck when my mom died, Castle. First, with the way that she died, and then watching my dad spiraling downhill. It was rough. I guess it was about a month after she died. I was in their bedroom looking for something and I found this tattered, dog-eared book in her nightstand drawer. It was 'In a Hail of Bullets,'" she turned to smile at him. "She'd obviously read it more than a few times. I took it to my room and I think I read it in just a few hours. It made me feel like she was still with me. When I finished that one, I went and found your other books on her bookshelf. After that, I'd buy your books as soon as they hit the bookstore."

"When did you subscribe to my fan site?" He asked, suppressing a grin at the look on her face.

"Okay, so I'd get impatient. I don't remember exactly when I subscribed, but it was a year or so after my mom's murder. When your first Derrick Storm book came out, I stood in line for over an hour to get a signed copy," she grinned at him, feeling her cheeks burn hot at the look in his eyes. "I thought that you looked even hotter in person than you did on the back of your book jackets."

"So, do you still have that signed copy of Derrick Storm?" He asked as her eyes darkened and she shook her head. "What is it?"

"Castle, when my apartment blew up, I lost all of them. The ones that my mom had, the ones that I'd bought. They all . . . went up in flames."

"Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry," he pulled her close, brushing a kiss to her temple.

"It's silly. I mean, they were just books, but losing them was almost like losing my mom all over again. Losing them was harder than losing all of my other possessions. But, look at me now," she turned to give him a bright smile. "Now I've got the real thing. Having you is better than having the books. Because now I can ask you what you were thinking when you were writing some of those scenes. I read Nikki Heat and I can remember some of those things that you base your scenes on. I see them play out in my head."

"Yeah, you are definitely my number one fan," he stood up and lifted her off of the bar stool, feeling her wrap her endlessly long legs around him. "Would you like for me to sign your chest, Number One Fan?"

"No, but you can do other things to my chest, Favorite Author," she kissed him as he walked them back to his bedroom, kicking the door closed with his foot.

Come show me your kindness

In your arms I know I'll find this

Woman, don't you know with you I'm born again
Lyin' safe with you, I'm born again

A/N #4: I didn't want to make both parts dark. Please read and review.

I can be found on Twitter Caskett1960.