Title: Prestad (10?)
Summary: Hope can be found in the oddest of situations, as can be love.
Feedback: Yes, please.
Warnings: Gender confusion, angst
Disclaimer: I do not own them and never will.
Archive: Anywhere, only keep my name and address attached.
Author Notes: The timeline may be confusing, but current thoughts and actions are in italics, the diary between 'marks' and the events of past unmarked. Motos I have snatched from here and there, but I have tried to always give the credit to whom it belongs. Historical confusion that can be very tiresome in this part goes like this: There was Legolas of Tree in the city of Gondolin during the First Age of Sun. This Elf crossed the sea and lived on the Lonely Island. I just used this idea… Thank you, my betas, Amber and Rebecca! You always make my day! I also thank Kristi Carlson Fernandez, who finally gave the very necessary kick to my backside!
Eomer's POV: 'No one gets to choose how life unfolds. If I have truly loved someone who has loved me in return, even for the briefest of stolen moments, is it not enough?'
Brother and Sister by Miranda Bell
'My beloved Hobbit could not stay with me for long.
We spent five wonderful days together, talked and cherished our bond but he had to return to the Shire before the roads became impassable. The rivers and the ditches always flooded during the spring thaws and it would not have been wise – not to mention nice, as Frodo commented – to force his pony, as high-footed she was, to plod through mud and icy water.
He kissed me, and our unborn child, and mounted his ride. He had suddenly an Elven air about him, something sad and beautiful, and I felt my heart clench.
He was going to leave Arda; I sensed it, although he had not told me so. I also knew why: the Ring was destroyed but Its influence had harmed Frodo. He did not have to tell me that, I felt it. The pain he had described in Minas Tirith returned sometimes and each time it was harder for him to find the light to fight off the darkness. Only Valinor with its eternal brilliance could keep him from further pain. I knew it, I had feared it but I had accepted this possibility the moment I confessed my feelings to him. This did not make my imminent loss any less painful, however.
I smiled to him, he smiled back and although we both saw happiness in those smiles, there was a shared sadness as well. He promised to send me letters, and I vowed to answer them. Then he urged his pony on; she whinnied, threw her head and began to trot. I watched them go and knew that I would not see them in a long while, if ever.
I was going to follow him over the sea, too, but I had also promised to myself that I would wait until Aragorn passed on. He and Arwen would understand if I left before but I feel that it would be unfair.
And Hobbits, however resilient, live less than the Men with Nśmenorean blood in them. Especially so, when there had been something as scarring in their life as the One Ring.
I closed the door when I could not see them anymore, sat by the hearth on the rug and wept.'
This had been one of the hardest moments in her entire life, but now she had something else to focus on. Legolas looked at her son, who slept in a sling which was suspended from the ceiling beam by the table she used to sit while writing her diary. He was usually slumbering in her lap, when she was reading or just sitting by the fire in the armchair. She did not like the wooden cradles Men used around here and had made a bedstead from her memory – there had been only five Eldar children whom she had seen during her lifetime.
Melvanes shifted, making a small sleepy sound, and Legolas picked him gently up. She liked to hold him, to look at him, to fall asleep by him. She simply loved him.
'I had learned from the town people of Esgaroth where their wise old women lived, so when my time came, I knew where to go. There were no questions, only help given.
It surprised me but then, afterwards, the words that Boromir had once uttered in Imladris came back to me. He had moaned that all Elves seemed very female to him. Aragorn had just barely been able to stop laughing. Yet, there seems to be truth in it, as the two midwives who cared for me turned to me using the title 'my lady' from the start.
There was pain, and I remember it being cruel, but I forgot it the moment my child was placed into my arms.
He was born with the first rays of cold clear light of winter morning sun and the first thing he heard was the spring song of a titmouse.
I named him the next morning.
I also wrote a letter to my father the same day.'
My Lord,
I am aware that I caused you heartache. I saw it in your eyes. I knew you wondered why I made it almost impossible to have any private conversation. I know you would like to be enlightened why I was avoiding it.
My reasons will be laid bare before you now.
During the Quest many things happened and changed. You were introduced to the Dwarf, Gimli, son of Gloin. You have met his father as a prisoner and as an ally in a battle, I fought alongside the son. You know that he is my friend. It was a friendship I never thought could be forged. Yet it was.
Another important thing occurred that I did not expect. You sensed the change in me and it is true: I found love. The feeling was returned. I chose my life mate and as ill-timed as this seems it is not the strangest part. My mate is mortal, male and a Hobbit. Father, I fell in love with Frodo Baggins, the Ringbearer himself. It did not happen because he saved all of us; this emotion is not some simple infatuation. I did not want to love a mortal, I did not want this to happen but it did.
I love him, and I consider myself bonded with him as in marriage.
If this fact makes you shun from me in disgust, I am to live with it. I cannot change what I feel. I never intended to hurt or shame you. If you wish not to see me, I will honour your decision.
'I did not want to send my letter by a human messenger, the roads had not improved enough to allow an easy pass. Furthermore, the Mirkwood was not yet a safe place to travel. I chose another option although I had not spoken to birds for a while. A tiny thrush who had visited my dwelling all through the winter agreed to carry the letter for me. I can only hope that there will be an answer.'
Legolas's heart skipped a beat, when she heard her named called out.
By an Elvish voice.
She had had an odd feeling when she left her cottage this morning, she had even recalled an ancient curse that in her opinion had never been applied. Now though, being afraid of her father's reaction, Legolas was almost sure that Thranduil just might use it in her case:
I declare you abandoned and nameless, …; no Elven realm will grant you refuge. Neither shall you sail from the Grey Havens to Valinor, …. What family you spring from will know you no more. You are less than an Orc, for even as low as they are they would spurn you. I have said it; it is so.
Legolas wavered for a moment, fighting the urge to run away. Then she got angry at herself: she was still a Sindarin warrior, and an Elven soldier did not run away from the battle.
She turned around and saw her father's warriors and two servants standing next to the inn. "It is you, Prince Legolas! I thought my eyes were mistaken."
Legolas sighed inwardly. Had she not turned around, she might not have been recognised. "Yes, it is me, Master Duinion." Her sword master acknowledged her with a slight nod.
"Would you come with us?"
"Why?"
"Your father requests to see you."
Now Legolas did not hide her sigh.
"He was furious when he got my letter, was he not?"
"He was rather agitated, yes."
Which probably meant that Thranduil had raged on for days even.
Melvanes shifted himself at that moment and Legolas patted him. She did not want her son waking up just yet.
"Whom do you carry?" Master Duinion had walked up to her and looked at the child who had fallen back in the deep slumber.
"My son."
"Your son?"
"Yes, my son" Legolas gathered her cloak tighter around herself and her son. "Would you inform my Liege that I will answer his summons later but I will write him as soon as I have returned to my lodgings?"
"I would like to but, alas, I cannot." The tone of Duinion was honestly regretful.
"Why not?" To her alarm Legolas noticed that other warriors had also come closer and surrounded them - not menacingly close but close enough to make it sure that an escape attempt would be quite futile. Not that she would have wanted to struggle with them anyway having her son in her arms. Yes, she had brought her knives as usual but she did not want to use them against her own kin. Never that.
"Your father insists to see you."
"You are under the orders to escort me to him, regardless whether I wish it or not..." her voice died away when Legolas saw Duinion to nod and sigh.
"That is unfortunately true, my Prince." For a moment they only stood there, waiting.
"He will never forgive me, would he?"
"I cannot answer that. However, our Majesty has always held you dear."
"Thank you." Master Duinion rarely gave praise and a supportive word was very welcome right now.
'I remember only a little of the ride to Mirkwood; some patchy pictures because the truth to be told, I was terrified. I had no idea what was waiting me in my father's court because there had been no answer to my letter. Perhaps the thrush had not reached my cottage yet; it was spring and the mating season and the bird could have got distracted but that was very unlikely. The winged feathery messengers are oath-keepers.
It was more likely that my father had received my letter and flown into a rage, forgetting to answer. And now a punishment would follow.'
The double doors of the study opened and there stood the King of Mirkwood.
Legolas dropped her gaze not wishing to see the contempt in his eyes. However, she straightened her back and walked in.
"I see that you have not come alone. Who is this?" To her small surprise her father didn't sound angry at all.
"My son."
She felt Thranduil giving her a severe look but she did not flinch. The King stepped closer:
"Your son?"
"Yes."
Thranduil now looked properly at the child in Legolas's arms. "He is still so very young... Do you need a wet-nurse?"
"No." Legolas still did not raise her eyes to her father's face. There had to be at least astonishment or even worse, disgust mirrored there over the choice she had made, and she did not wish to witness it.
"I see… Do you need to feed him, as he seems pretty anxious already?"
"It would be wise, yes."
And just like that she was shown into a small but warm room adjoining the study her father had met her. Although the doors were closed and the curtains drawn, she still could hear her father pacing in there. Melvanes had calmed down, when they were alone once more and he could feed. Legolas closed her eyes and relaxed a little.
In a way the feared first encounter had gone better than she had ever hoped. She had not been shouted at, which somewhat surprised her, because Thranduil was famous for making his opinion loudly known. She had not been forbidden to leave or forced into the immediate exile. She was not sure how free she was but all in all the situation was better than would have been expected.
Of course, there was still the possibility that Thranduil would make a conditioned offer - allowing her to stay but not the child.
Legolas sighed. If the latter was the case, she would leave as well.
There was a knock on the door that led directly to the corridor.
"Yes, enter."
Melvanes had already had his share, so there was nothing to hide anymore. Her tunic was loose enough to conceal her chest that was somewhat more curvaceous than usual. The servant came in, shot a startled look at the child but nevertheless delivered his speech smoothly: "The King wishes for your company at his dinner table."
"I will attend him and I will be there in a short while."
"The dinner will be served in his private study."
"So you did not only marry but decided to have a family at once."
Legolas put her goblet down. "Yes, I did. Am I banished now?"
"Banished?" Thranduil sounded shocked and was probably hoping that his heir would look at him but Legolas did not do that. "Why would I banish you?"
"What else should I expect when escorted to face my Liege?"
Thranduil flinched slightly. "Why do you not call me 'father', Legolas?"
"If you wish it."
"I do, but only if you want to."
"When had that mattered, what I have wanted?"
"It has always mattered to me, my son."
"How could I know it? What was I to hope when there was no answer to my letter?"
The King sighed. In the spur of the angered moment he had cast out the order that had brought Legolas here thus confined and he had somehow never taken it back. He heard Legolas continue and focused again at the present. "When I know that I have gone against the code of propriety and thus disgraced the family, being married with a mortal?"
"At least he is an extinguished mortal." The King of Mirkwood did not add more, mostly because the reason he had ordered his son to be, well, if truth be said, arrested, had indeed been the wish to detain him doing more silly things. However, Legolas had managed to outdo himself once more - having a child with a Hobbit - and now Thranduil was not sure what to think. So he steered the conversation to another direction. "Where is the young Master Baggins, any way?" He noticed how Legolas's face grew sadder than he had ever seen it to be and he fervently wished that he could take his words back.
"He is leaving." The voice was pained and Legolas seemed to be fighting back tears. "He will sail with Lady Galadriel and Lord Elrond from the Grey Havens to Valinor."
"He left you then."
"No." Now Legolas faced him, the utter sadness replaced by fierce anger. "I wrote a letter to him wherein I asked, no, begged him to go. Here he would never have felt any true happiness. Only a…" To Thranduil's shock Legolas appeared to be swallowing tears. "only a mere pale reflection of it… The Ring scarred him beyond this world's ability to heal. He was literally in pain sometimes. I felt it myself." The King of Lassegalen saw how his beloved child had to take a calming sip of the rich wine. He had never seen Legolas so distraught before. "He would have felt its shadow forever," Legolas admitted at last in a silent whisper.
"What of him?" Thranduil gestured towards Melvanes who was napping on one of the wide benches near them. He was a bit surprised that Legolas had brought her son to the dinner although he had provided the next room for the child to sleep in.
"He has not seen his father" Legolas swallowed, feeling his own father's gaze on her, "and he probably never will." She expected a reprimand but Thranduil only sighed. There was a short pause when the King re-filled his goblet. After taking a sip he turned once more to Legolas:
"Where did you live?"
"I rented a cottage near the Laketown. It is small but very comfortable."
"Thanks the Valar. I was afraid that..."
"Your offspring would cause yet another scandal by having a child in an inn?"
"No, in the bushes." The face of Legolas was something to behold and Thranduil rushed to add: "I really was afraid that you had done something as stupid as... but you seem to have become more sensible."
"Really?"
"No, not really. You ran off, unescorted I must add, to Rivendell, yes, I knew of that." Thranduil sighed again. "I was so worried when you just..., well, vanished. The escape of Gollum would have been reported to Lord Elrond anyway... And I know it was not your fault although it happened during your watch. Then, thanks the Valar, I heard that you had arrived unharmed to Imladris but then, very soon I had another reason to worry - you had attended the Fellowship. Do you know how much I feared for you?" Thranduil cast a look to his heir over the brim of his goblet. Legolas had the dignity to look ashamed. "So no, I am not saying that the whole affair does not remind me of some of you childhood antics but-"
"It is not an affair, and it is far from any antics."
"I already understood that. What I meant is: in important matters, like friendship and love, you seem sensible enough now."
Legolas nodded but did not offer any comment.
'And that was all the reprimand I got from him – if it even can be called that. He asked about my plans, and we talked. A lot. He liked my idea of re-populating Hollin with Elves. This was a surprise for me but he only told me, somewhat sadly, that many of his subjects had left during the last two years because there seemed to be no hope, no light left in Arda.
My plan again was a hope to reclaim a land that had belonged to our kind, a plan to heal a place. And that was needed right now.
And he also loved Melvanes. I only wish that he had met his father, too.'
(curse in shortened form from Feud by narcolindė)