A/N: Finally, I am back to posting on Saturdays!

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03/03/2018

Chapter Ten – Magic and Morality

"No, no!" Jane said, gesturing frantically to one of the equations floating around them. "You're not taking into account the geodetic strain from the wormhole,"

"It's not a wormhole," Loki countered, then turned to Erik. "But Jane's right, your proposal would tear us into individual atoms." Loki thought that it was definitely an improvement that Erik didn't automatically snap at him, but glared aggressively at the hologram instead.

"Well…" Tony said, drawing a new equation in the air. Loki watched in interest as it became a part of the hologram. "What if we did this?"

"You've forgotten gravity," He said drily.

Tony scoffed. "No I haven't…okay…maybe I have…"

"Have you guys considered taking a break?" Darcy called from the other side of the room, surrounded by her political science notes. They had been in the lab for hours, so these notes and her plans for diplomatic relations between Earth and the other eight Realms had been long since forgotten in favour of streaming music into the latest Stark headphones and napping. Loki envied her, as much as this was interesting, and if he wanted everyone to continue to like him he couldn't afford to stop helping, the pervasive fatigue continued and he longed for sleep.

"That would be an excellent idea," Jarvis added. "Especially considering Mr Stark hasn't slept 38 hours,"

"Traitor!" Tony hissed at the ceiling. "We don't need sleep, there are important scientific discoveries to be made!"

"Ah, yes Sir, because I forgot doing dangerous experiments on no sleep always goes brilliantly for you, and that it's normal for a genius such as yourself to forget about the existence of gravity,"

"I'm feeling attacked, why is everyone ganging up on me?" Tony whined and Loki laughed. The man was completely ridiculous. It was endearing and Loki couldn't help feel more relaxed in his presence than he had done with anyone else for centuries because of it.

"I suppose a bit of rest wouldn't kill us," Jane sighed, looking longingly at the holograms. "We did get a lot done today, and I am kind of hungry,"

"Great, I'm going to bed," Erik said abruptly, and Loki couldn't help but think that it was because Erik couldn't wait to get away from him. "Jarvis could you direct me to my room?"

"Of course, Dr Selvig,"

"Night everyone," he called, looking at everyone except Loki, whose shoulders slumped. Things would be so much easier if Erik didn't hate him.

"This is not fair, I invite you all into my home and you all decide you need to rest!" Tony exclaimed dramatically and Loki gave him a look of clearly feigned sympathy. Tony responded with a mock glare that morphed into a grin.

"Come on," Darcy said, semi-dragging Tony and Jane from the room. "Even geniuses need to rest, we're having a movie night!"

"Fine, but only if we can watch something with loads of explosions, or robots," Tony conceded. "I'm thinking 'I, Robot', Jarvis always likes movies about AIs going bad, gives him a power trip of something,"

"You want that to be Loki's first movie?" Darcy tutted.

"It's a good movie!"

"I'm not denying that," Darcy said. "But come on, don't you think that Loki's first movie should be a bit more representative of earth culture?"

"There is nothing more representative of earth culture than explosions and fighting for our lives against impossible odds."

"Actually I was thinking it would be really cool to watch something with magic in, and for Loki to tell us how much of it is actually true!" Jane said, sitting down on the big curved sofa in the room above the lab.

"Now that would be cool!" Tony said. "And it would mean we wouldn't have to stop working (so take that Jarvis),"

"We should do 'Harry Potter'," Darcy suggested.

"That's a kid's movie!" Tony complained, flicking though holographic takeout menus.

"Yeah, but it's a fun movie, and easy to follow," Darcy countered.

"I'm down," Jane shrugged.

"Fine," Tony replied. "I've never seen it anyways, so,"

"Have you been living under a rock?" Darcy joked, and Tony's face froze. Loki would have missed it if he hadn't been looking directly at Tony at the time, as barely a second had passed and Tony had recovered. Loki wondered what exactly in Darcy's words had affected him so badly.

"Just never had a reason to watch it," he shrugged. "It's not like I spend any time with kids,"

"You good with 'Harry Potter', Loki?" Jane asked and Loki nodded, it wasn't like he had much of a choice. He would much rather had gone to bed, but these mortals wanted to include him, which was an unusual occurrence where he was concerned, and he was loathe to shun their offers of friendship.

-m-

Loki picked at his chicken fried rice as the movie began.

"Do wizards look like that?" Jane hissed, pointing at the man with the long grey beard

"Not normally," Loki replied, distracted by the fact that a cat had just turned into a woman and trying desperately not to think of his children. He dug his fingernails into his wrist, hoping the pain would dull the memories.

Things only went downhill from there.

Loki sat stiff and tense as the movie progressed. He felt a strong affinity with the child, and an urge to protect him. Harry was, clearly, a lot like himself, and not just because of the black hair, and the magic that he possessed.

He watched as Dudley shoved Harry and called him hateful names, as Petunia ordered him around and she and Vernon favoured their real son and showered him with gifts. It was, of course, perfectly acceptable to treat a magic wielding freak who wasn't actually a part of your family like this (and Loki wondered if his life would have been more like this had his heritage been a less closely guarded secret, if Thor would have treated him like Dudley did Harry), but Loki still wanted to protect the boy from Vernon as he told him that if there was any 'funny business', he wouldn't have any meals for a week. Loki knew from experience that a week was a very long time to go without meals. A day or two was fine, he could cope and regularly went without meals for that long in his self imposed semi-exile from mealtimes, but more than that was hard to bear. Loki also knew from experience that there would indeed be 'funny business', it was just the way life worked, no matter how hard you tried the worst always happened, and his chest filled with dread.

Loki wondered why the Midgardians enjoyed watching this, was this going to be a moral tale, where freaks like Harry met their just and grisly end?

"Loki, are you alright?" Darcy said quietly from next to him.

Stop it, please stop! Loki wanted to scream as he watched the screen with an increasing horror. He really did not want to see what Midgardians thought should be done to the orphan monster. But instead he nodded, smiling at Darcy as warmly as he could manage.

Of course, it went wrong, how could it not. The others laughed as the snake escaped and Dudley got trapped in its enclosure, but Loki felt sick to his stomach.

When Uncle Vernon grabbed hold of Harry's hair Loki could picture himself that small again, Odin's hand in his hair, dragging him, and he felt the phantom pain in his scalp. He was glad he didn't see Vernon physically punishing Harry, that all they saw was him being shoved into his cupboard (which Loki assumed served as his bedroom) presumably to start his week without food, but he could imagine it all too well.

What was incredibly confusing though was what happened afterwards. He went into a world where people actually liked him, he was a hero who defeated a monster (an evil wizard named Voldemort) as a baby, he fought a troll, he had friends. He began to become increasingly confused as to the moral of the tale, was not the entire point of this to show how awful Harry was, for the people who had so self-sacrificingly taken him in to inflict justice upon him? Loki couldn't help thinking about Tony, Darcy, and Jane, who seemed to like and accept him, even though he wasn't sure why. He felt as confused as when his mother had told him that she loved him, despite his being a Frost Giant and her knowledge that he wasn't her biological son.

The worst part was when Harry defeated Quirrell and Lord Voldemort. Here, had had clearly triumphed against the monster, the villain. To the people in the wizarding world, Harry was a hero, he saved people, he was told his parents had been good people, yet he was a unwanted freak and he undoubtedly deserved everything that his relations did to him. Midgardians were confusing creatures, what did they mean by such a story?

"Did you like it?" Jane said after it had finished. "You seemed pretty engrossed in the story,"

Loki wasn't sure what to say. Of course, the polite thing would be to say he loved it, but if then they wished to discuss it, it would become apparent that he had lied, which would be so much worse.

"I didn't understand it," Loki said carefully.

Tony looked at him as if he were mad. "This is a children's story and you understand crazily advanced physics,"

Darcy sighed. "You could have told us to stop it, we would have explained stuff to you,"

Loki stared down at his practically untouched container of rice that he'd placed on the coffee table. That had been a fantastic thing to say, now they were all angry at him, and soon they would start to listen to Erik. "I didn't know that was an option," he said awkwardly.

"Oh well, you do now," Darcy sighed. "What didn't you get, we can explain it now if you want,"

Loki hesitated, on the one hand, asking could show them how much of a freak he was himself, on the other the movie had completely baffled him and he needed answers. If he wanted to at least try to fit in on Midgard, he had to understand their culture. "What was the moral of the story?" he asked.

"Uh, good triumphs over evil," Tony replied flippantly.

"But he wasn't good!" Loki exclaimed frantically, without thinking.

"What do you mean he wasn't good?" Jane asked, and Loki knew he had said absolutely the wrong thing, but he couldn't figure out why it was the wrong thing. Oh well, he may as well continue.

"He does wicked tricks with his magic, look at what he did to his cousin with the snake,"

Tony scoffed. "His cousin was not a good person,"

"Loki, look at what his cousin did to him, look at how his family treated him," Jane said, looking at him warily. "It's understandable that he would lose control of his powers every once in a while,"

Loki could feel the panic that had grown steadily throughout the film rise, threatening to overwhelm him. It was like nothing made sense anymore. Frigga insisted that Odin was at fault, and now the others were mirroring her, claiming that Harry's family had treated him badly. But that couldn't be, Odin was wise, he was… oh why was everyone acting so strangely?

"But, they said it in the film," Loki said desperately. "He's a freak, they didn't want him, he was a burden to them. He used his magic and he played tricks on people, and he hurt them. They had to treat him like that, who knows what he would have done if they hadn't!"

The room was completely silent, and Loki found himself unconsciously shrinking backwards into the cushions of the sofa, not daring to take his eyes off the three gazes of horror and bewilderment that stared back at him.

"I don't even understand how you can get that so wrong?" Darcy spoke up. "He's not a freak, he can do magic, but that doesn't make him a freak. The Dursleys just say he is because they're jealous and scared of his magic,"

"Why shouldn't they be scared of his magic?" Loki asked quietly. "After everything he did with it,"

"He did magic accidentally because he was scared. I don't know why you thought he played tricks on them," Darcy continued, and Loki grimaced internally, he supposed he had projected a bit too much onto the child. "If the Dursleys had treated him well they shouldn't have had to fear him,"

"And just because they didn't want him there was no reason to treat him like that. They could have tried to love him, or at least pretended to, or found someone else to care for him," Tony said seriously, and Loki had the feeling that there was something that Tony wanted to say, but wasn't, or that he was speaking from experience.

"He was just a child, and they had no right to treat him like that," Jane added.

"They had every right," Loki almost pleaded.

"Would you treat a child like that?" Jane asked him gravely and Loki wished he could shrink further back into the sofa.

"No!" he protested immediately, thinking about how much he had wanted to protect Harry from the Dursleys.

"Then why do you think that it's okay? Is it fine to treat your kid like that on Asgard?" Darcy demanded.

Loki bit his lip. "If they're not your 'kid',"

"What's your family like, Loki?" Tony said suddenly, and Loki flinched at what Jarvis had assured him earlier was Tony's lack of brain to mouth filter. Loki wondered briefly if he did have a filter, and if he just wanted to get the uncomfortable questions out of the way quickly.

Loki wanted to answer, but he wasn't sure how to. What were you meant to say to that? Well, my family are bloodthirsty monsters, but my pretend family are magnificent, and I ruin their happiness with my presence. Odin is wise and decisive, a just king. Frigga is kind and strong, and is unfortunately slightly delusional at the moment. Thor is brave and the ideal warrior of Asgard, everyone loves and admires him, he is everyone's favourite. What am I compared to them except a wicked beast? His breathing sped up and the world seemed to lose its sense of reality around him.

"Loki?" Tony said, and Loki noted that he sounded worried. He needed to say something, anything.

"They're fine, they're normal," Loki replied quickly, struggling to get the words out.

"And you're not," Tony said, Loki was unsure whether or not he had meant it as a question.

"Tony, his mom can do magic, and she's the Queen of Asgard, there's nothing wrong with doing magic on Asgard," Jane pointed out.

"Well, clearly there is, if he's reacting like this," Tony shot back, and Loki just needed them to stop, to stop arguing, just for everything to stop. He noted that Tony had changed places and was now sitting on the other side of him, placing a hand on his shoulder, it helped to ground him a bit. "Loki, you need to listen to me. There is nothing wrong with Harry, he doesn't deserve to be tormented just because of who he is. He was born being able to do magic, he can't help it. And there is absolutely no excuse to treat a child in your care like that. Adults should keep children safe, not hurt them,"

"Then why did he do it?" Loki cried, collapsing into Tony's chest, half sobbing, half hyperventilating, utterly confused and with no clue what was going on anymore.

-m-

Tony held Loki awkwardly until he had passed out from exhaustion.

One thing was for certain here, something bad had happened to Loki, and he sincerely doubted that the 'he' that Loki had referred to was Uncle Vernon.

Was it too early to plot revenge against whoever had messed Loki up so badly?

Probably not.

-M-

"Mother, why did you request that we meet here?" Thor demanded after landing next to Frigga at the edge of a large, goat-filled field.

He hooked Mjolnir to his belt and looked at his mother expectantly. When a servant had informed him that Frigga wished to meet him in a field on the outskirts of the city, Thor had been more than slightly confused. With Asgard in a state of turmoil, unsure whether they should be listening to the currently-asleep King and preparing for war, or heeding the words of the Queen Regent and carrying on as normal, he was surprised that she had summoned him so far from the palace. They both lived there after all, and it would have saved a lot of hassle.

His mother looked at him seriously. "I had thought that you might like to see the good that you've done after all the destruction you caused on Jotunheim."

Good I've done? Thor thought, wondering what point his mother was trying to make, but he didn't get much time to ponder on this before she continued.

"Do you remember the goats you used to keep as a child? These are their descendants,"

Thor gazed across the field at the goats, peacefully chomping away at the lush grass. If that were the case then these would be the great, great, great…okay, he didn't have time to work it out…grandchildren of Tanngrisnir and Tanngnjostr. But that didn't explain the point that his mother was trying to make.

His mother's words baffled him for many reasons, but mostly because Frigga was trying to portray his years tending to goats as a good thing.

"The good that I have done? Mother, I do not understand, the years that I spent tending to goats were wasteful."

"Did your father tell you that?" Frigga replied wearily, and Thor frowned at her tone. Despite what Loki might claim, that he was oblivious, he could be somewhat observant when he tried, and he worried at his mother's tone.

"Yes," Thor replied, it was better to clarify things after all. "Father said that I should be training to be a proper Prince of the Realm, rather than playing at being a goat herder,"

Frigga looked like she was thinking carefully. "I remember that, you seemed fairly stoic about the decision at the time," at these words Thor decided he was definitely not thinking about the months he had spent shedding unwarrior-like tears for the loss of his goats in the privacy of his chambers, because that memory was shameful, "I am sorry that I did not fight harder to change his mind,"

Thor brushed her words aside in his characteristic carefree manner. "It is of little consequence. Father was right. My time was much better spent in training," he replied, trying to convince himself that what he said was true. Frigga's questions were weakening his resolve, but he needed to remember that Odin was wise in all…okay, most things. For someone who preached the bloodthirsty nature of Frost Giants he had seemed awfully wary to go to war with them, and he did seem to have a worrying tendency to blame Loki for things that couldn't possibly be his fault (this was something he knew he needed to raise with his mother when he got the chance). But here Thor could see the wisdom in Odin's decision; the realm needed a Prince that was a warrior.

"Was it better spent training though?" Frigga asked, watching a kid ambling about after its mother. "I cannot help but feel that you have lost your compassion for others, that all you seek is battle." Suddenly, the sound of Laufey's voice floated unwanted through his mind, 'you long for battle, you crave it', and Thor couldn't help shifting uncomfortably. "Odin is not infallible, he makes mistakes, just as you or I do,"

Now, Thor supposed, was as good a time as any to bring up the issue of Odin's interaction with Loki.

"Father said some things on the Bridge about Loki which concerned me. He accused him of many things that I do not believe to be true," Thor said and his mother looked at him gravely.

"I have recently become aware of your father's unfortunate treatment of Loki," she replied, and Thor couldn't quite tell whether she looked ill or angry. "What did he tell you?"

"He said that Loki had caused the conflict, when it was I that convinced us all to journey there, and it was I who struck the first blow… Loki wanted to leave, to negotiate. He told me that Loki had manipulated me into taking us to Jotunheim, but I fail to understand how he could have done, all he did was beg me not to travel there. Father tried to get me to leave, but he appeared to have lost his senses, so I refused…but still I was not able to stop him from banishing Loki," Thor finished quietly, surprised that he had voiced the last part. It shamed him that he had watched, frozen, as Odin had ripped Loki's magic, which was a part of him as much as Mjolnir was for Thor…maybe even more so, from him and then banished him to a land of ignorant beings. Warriors who couldn't act under pressure did not deserve to be called warriors, and he found himself wondering if he should even be worthy of Mjolnir if he couldn't even protect his little brother.

As ever, it seemed that his mother had no trouble reading his thoughts. "Thor, you need not be ashamed that you failed to stop Odin from banishing your brother. You are no match for the Odinforce and you know this." She smiled warmly at him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "I am proud of you for staying and trying to reason with him, I dread to think what he would have done to Loki were you not there,"

And Thor did too, which terrified him. The idea that his father had aspects to him that he had not seen in over 1000 years was not something to be taken lightly.

"It seems that your father has been using Loki as a scapegoat for all of his problems for years without us noticing," Frigga said grimly, and Thor tried once again to imagine all the things that he hadn't seen, due to his 'obliviousness'. This was a one off, it had to be, after all, Odin did have evidence that Loki was behind the attempted theft of the Casket. This evidence had to be coincidental though, Loki would never betray Asgard or Odin. The scene had to be overreaction in the heat of the moment, didn't it?

"Father said that Loki let the Jotuns into the Weapons Vault," he stated and watched his mother's expression become guarded. He frowned.

"It seems he did," she said slowly, and Thor scoffed.

"But why would he do that?" he demanded, hand shooting to Mjolnir as it often did when he was angry, feeling the buss of electricity through his veins.

"Thor, he never intended for them to steal it, merely to prove that you were not ready to be king,"

Not ready? Thor's blood boiled at his brother's interference, how dare he try to prevent him from becoming king. His father was right, Loki was just jealous, and malicious, and he deserved his banishment.

"Thor, the first thing you did after they invaded was putting your friends in mortal danger and slaughtering countless innocent Jotuns,"

Thor supposed she did have a point. Fandral and Volstagg had been seriously wounded, and it could have been worse. He definitely should have thought things through and planned a better attack (which he could have done if he had been able to control Asgard's armies). But was not the whole point of life to have ballads sung of your adventures, your final victory and death, and to go to Valhalla? And the Jotuns innocent?

"They were hardly innocents, Mother, Frost Giants are savage monsters, they attacked our home, if they had stolen even one of those relics..."

"Thor, there were five of them. Five people do not represent an entire race!"

"Father did say that this was the act of a few," Thor admitted.

"Well, for once he shows insight in this situation!" Frigga replied bitterly. Thor stared at her in confusion. How were the Frost Giants not monsters, that's all anyone ever said they were, and why did Frigga not agree with Odin?

"Thor," Frigga sighed. "I feel as if you need a history lesson, one that doesn't leave out the things that your father so helpfully omits. Let us fetch the books that I brought here from Vanaheim, those will not have been changed by his politics, and I will show you all the good that Frost Giants have done in the universe. You will see that you cannot judge an entire race for the choices made by their elite, which, I should mention were made in desperation, not hunger for power, and that you cannot blame them either for defending their realm when you attacked it."

Thor suppressed a groan, he had thought he had left dull history lessons behind long ago. He sincerely doubted that his mother could show him anything that would make him change his mind, and surely this was just wasting time with the impending war looming. Still, he knew he couldn't change his mother's mind when she had her heart set on something, that it would be pointless arguing. He mounted the spare horse she had brought for him, and they both galloped back to the castle together, the sky darkening further as Thor slipped into gloom.

So, I hope you all enjoyed that!

Next: Tony, Jane and Darcy discuss Loki and research myths.

And (probably) Angrboda, part 1