Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Ah-ha! I knew it!
Proof number ten: They admit it!
Okay, now, this is it.
We're going to make them talk.
...As soon as Peter leaves.
"Hey, Pete! You know, I heard from a little house elf, that there would be buttered toast this breakfast!"
"Wh-what..?"
Learn your lesson: if there is one thing Peter loves almost as much as he loves me, it's toast. This is mighty power I am lending to you, so use it wisely...
"Toasty toast today for breakfast! A pity that at this rhythm, Padfoot is going to make you not get in time for them..." and add a fake sigh...
"Hey, I'm just brushing my hair!"
"You've been there for ten minutes, Pads," ah, have you been counting, Remus?
"And I shall be here for another hour if I need to!"
..Honestly, why did I ever think this guy was straight.
"But..toasts.."
Oh, Merlin, Peter looks like he's about to cry.
"Don't wait for us, Worms!" add a winning smile.. – well, all my smiles are winning – "We'll catch up to you! Don't miss those toasts!"
"Ah! Thank you, Prongs!"
"Just go, Wormtail!"
Ah, done.
My plans are always so perfect... now, close that door!
"...Padfoot, Moony, can I talk to you?"
..Moony is looking at me strangely – was he expecting this already? He's Moony, I bet he was.
"What is it?"
"Sirius, get off the bathroom for a moment!"
"Merlin, so need to sound so mad! Why crawled up your arse?"
Okay.. so it's a good thing Sirius finally got out of that bathroom, but I can't believe he just said that to me.
"I don't know, what's been up yours? Moony, do you know?"
"..What?"
"James, what-"
"I know, okay! There's no need to pretend it's not true!"
"What is not true?"
Ah, pretending not to know! I'll throw the evidences on their faces!
"Don't patronise me! I'm your best friend, alright? You didn't think I wouldn't notice, did you? I caught you after you were snogging on a closet! You're always all over each other, and making eyes at each other and you're both dogs and-"
"James, what the hell are you talking about?"
"I know you're in love with each other!"
...Okay, silence.
Although...phew, what a relief to let that out!
"And..well, it's just to let you guys know that I'm totally cool with it."
...
...
..They still won't say anything?
Fine!
Fine! Let them be like that, then!
Tsk, a friend worried about them and this is the treatment I get..?
Let's go. Close the door behind you.
Come on, let's go down to breakfast, if they don't want to say-
Wait.
They're going to talk about it, aren't they? To each other?
...Right now?
They have to, before they talk to me again!
I've changed my mind! We're not going to breakfast!
We're going to listen to them now. And then, we'll bust in when they have no chance in denying anything!
Come on, against the door now- I'll make space for you...here!
"..Padfoot..?"
Mehehehhe, I knew it!
"Yeah, Moony?"
"..Is what James said true?"
..wait, what.
"..Er..well..no- well. Hm."
"Because..er..if what he said you feel is true, then..hm..I.. he might just be right about me too."
"..Really?"
"..Pretty much, yeah."
...wait...
"...He was right about me."
"...He was right about me too."
...wait...
"..."
'Thump!'
What was that noise? Did something fall?
"S-Sirius.."
"Mm.."
Okay, that's it, busting in time, now!
Why is the door stuck? Okay, blasting it open in three, two, one...
..My virgin eyes!
My virgin eyes!
They were waiting for my Lily-flower and now they're scarred!
For all eternity!
Nooooooooooooo!
"Oh, Merlin, can you stop that now for a second!... Please stop snogging. ...Can I turn around now? Can I open my eyes again? I hope they're not bleeding."
"Yeah, you can." Don't sound so annoyed, Sirius, it's not your eyes that just got tainted with such a sight.
"Although I doubt you're bleeding from this, James."
"And what do you know, Remus? What would happen to your eyes if you caught me and Peter in a middle of an intense snog?"
..Oh, Merlin, the image.
Now my brain is scarred as well.
Damn you, Marauders, damn you.
"...James..."
"Okay, turning around!" and peeking and...safe! "Alright." Slowly crossing my arms for intimidation purposes... "Now you can't deny you're going out!"
Ah, reactions this time! They're sharing some kind of look! Are they finally going to admit it?
"I guess we are."
"Yes, we are."
Yeeeeeeess!
"Aha! I knew it! Knew it for days, weeks, ah! I knew it~~!"
"...James? You kind of just interrupted the first time we kissed."
Whaaaat.
"No way, stop lying! You lying liars! I caught you two snogging before!"
"..No you didn't."
"I did! When you two were 'trapped' on a closet, 'hiding from Filch'."
"We were hiding from Filch! We threw dungbombs in his office!"
"Oh yeah? Then why were you talking all secretly that night about me being almost catching you and that maybe you should tell me about it?"
Ah, got them there.
Honestly, why are they still trying to pretend?
...and they share another look.
"Well.."
"Should we tell him..?"
"..I think so."
"Just tell me already!" really, adding all this suspense!
"While we were at his office... we saw a letter there."
"Prongs..we found out that Filch is a squib."
"What?"
"That's what we were talking about. He almost caught us with the letter, and we were wondering if we should tell him we knew or not. Because he's not sure if we do."
"..Oh. But...but that was the whole reason I started to think you two were dating! Was I...was I...wrong?"
Oh God, the horror, the shame, I..
"We weren't dating.." don't rub salt on my wound, Remus! "But..you were right about the rest."
"..Eh?"
"..We've..we've been in love..with each other and... you were the ones who made us admit it. When you were yelling at us. Thank you."
"Yeah, thanks, mate. Try to be a bit less confusing next time, tho."
..so..I was right?
"Ah, it's alright! Nothing escapes the master detective James Potter!"
"Nothing except that we weren't really dating..."
"Shut up, Pads, let him have this victory."
"Oh yeah? Why don't you make me?"
"..Er, mates? Not in front of me?"
"..."
"..alright."
"Sooo," ah, now the important part "when are you planning to tell everyone? When we get down for breakfast?"
"...Actually, Prongs..we'd rather if no one knew. For now."
What?
"Not even Peter?"
"..Not even Peter."
"..Alright then. Well. Why don't you two ..enjoy your new found love and all that while I go to breakfast? I'll make up something to tell Peter."
"..Thanks, James."
Okay, then, we're leaving them.
Come on, you're not staying here and spying on them...
Okay, careful downstairs...now be quiet while we leave the common room...
Out of the portrait and...stop.
Give me the Cloak.
Alright, this was fun while it lasted. You were a good side kick, I have to admit.
But... you heard them.
No one must know.
..It was good to know you tho.
I should have a cool punch line now, but you won't remember any of this anyway so...
Obliviate.
000
AN: alright, folks, this is the end!
You know those stories that you know the beginning and the end, but have no idea what's going to happen in between? That was exactly how I started to write this and..it's over now. Also, this kind of pov..writing..whatever was something I'd wanted to try for a while.
If you managed to dodge James' spell (or not) feel free to say what you thought of it! :D