Van was just lying on his bed unable to sleep. He was hardly tired at all and just found himself staring at the ceiling as if it were the most interesting thing in the world. His thoughts were clouded with ideas that he knew he shouldn't be having. Yet he was finding himself incapable of pushing the thoughts out of his head.
Fiona was the thought that he couldn't get out of his head. She was the one clouding his thoughts almost every second since they saw each other again and he wished that the thoughts would just leave his head. He was married after all.
The sound of his door opening caught his ear and he turned to see Fiona walk into his room wearing a robe. He visibly gulped since the object of his problems was standing in front of him. He knew that he had to talk to her though. "Is there something the matter Fiona?" Van asked seeing her just continuing to stand there.
Fiona didn't reply to him. She started to walk towards him again. One of the shoulders of her robe slid off to reveal bare shoulders and gulped again. 'Oh crap!' he said feeling himself starting to sweat.
Fiona came to a stop to the side of his bed. She kneeled down till she was level with his height. She spoke softly but Van was able to hear it because of his close proximity. "I want you Van," she spoke before seizing his lips into a kiss.
Van was becoming more nervous by the second as this beautiful woman continued to do this to him. He had no idea what he was doing but his hands were moving by themselves towards the knot that was holding the robes together and with one simple tug the came undone and the robe fell off her to reveal her in all her glory.
Van just couldn't take his eyes away from the sight before him and the kiss that was being given to him. His arms wrapped around her waist and he tugged her onto the bed and rolled over so that he was on top. He stared down at her with lustful eyes and leaned in for kiss while whispering something. "I still love you Fiona."
Van shot up in his bed. He was sweating profusely and his breathing was slightly labored. He looked to his side and was relieved to see that Fiona wasn't there like in his dream. 'It was just a dream, that is all that it was,' he told himself but it didn't really make him feel any better.
He looked towards his alarm clock next and it told him that it was currently three in the morning. Van fell back on his bed exhausted. Yet he knew that he was not going to be getting anymore sleep for the rest of the night after what he had just dreamed about.
Van stood up and walked out of his room and towards the bathroom. He ran some water and then splashed some into his face hoping it would knock some sense into him. He stared at his wet reflection and sighed. "What is wrong with me?" he asked himself quietly.
"Van?" Fiona's quiet voice penetrated through the air into his already shocked nerves. He jumped slightly before calming down a little and turning to face her and instantly regretted it. She looked exactly like in his dream just wrapped in a robe but he was unsure if she had anything underneath.
He took a deep breath. "Hey Fiona," he said quietly leaning against the counter for some support. His knees were feeling a bit weak. "What are you doing up Fiona? It's three in the morning," Van pointed out although he wasn't exactly one to talk since he was also up and this hour as well.
"I heard you walking around and I wanted to make sure if you were alright. Everything is alright, isn't it?" Fiona asked looking at Van with her beautiful crimson eyes that Van almost always found himself so lost in.
"I am just having a little trouble sleeping. There is nothing to be worried about. You should get back to bed though. It won't help you any to be up at this hour," Van said giving her a small smile.
Fiona just nodded her head and turned to leave before stopping. Turning her head slightly she spoke to Van. "You should also get some sleep too Van. Good night Van," she said before walking towards her room at a slow pace.
Van gave a sigh of relief. When he heard her door shut he walked out of the bathroom as well and towards his room. He reached it and was about to grab the doorknob when he suddenly had second thoughts and turned around to leave. He knew he wasn't going to get any sleep anyways. He figured that he would go for a small walk to try and clear his head even if it was too early in the morning.
"What's up with you man? You look pretty tired," Irvine pointed out later that morning when Van reluctantly went to work. He had no wish to but he fell behind a little after his encounter with his wife and Ethan the other day.
"I wasn't able to get much sleep. I had a dream that wouldn't seem to allow me any sort of rest last night," Van said while rubbing his tired eyes. "I am worried Irvine. I am really starting to screw up my life with all that has been happening to me," Van said letting out a yawn.
"I think you should let this life you have right now screw up, and then you can make a new one with Fiona," he said intentionally putting a small double meaning into the second part just to tease Van a little. He saw Van blush a little and knew that Van picked up on his words. Strangely enough, he didn't object.
"I have been screwing it up Irvine. I am going to be hurting two people that I care for deeply if I don't find some way to fix it," van said looking up at Irvine with his bloodshot eyes. He saw the questioning look in Irvine's eyes. He knew he would regret saying it but he needed to tell someone to get this off his chest. "I kissed Fiona," he murmured.
Irvine was very taken back by Van's sudden confession. He didn't know Van would be that truthful to him about something that serious. "I didn't know you had it in you Van. When'd this happen?" Irvine asked with a smirk on his face.
Van decided to just be blunt about this. "The night Fiona came to me for help last week, earlier that day on our way back from our lunch break, and also last night," Van said recalling all the encounters that they had. He could still remember everything clearly when it happened all of those time, the emotions, and the feel of her lips against his.
Now Irvine was really shocked. He had always thought Van had things so together but by the looks of it he was unable to control his actions on what he was doing whenever he was around Fiona. It was clear the guy was still in love with her and considering they kissed before Fiona broke up with her ex-fiancé after they kissed meant that she was feeling the exact same way. "Wow," was all that Irvine was able to muster up.
"I am only setting myself up for a big fall. I am hurting both of them with my actions. I don't know what I am going to do," Van said looking at Irvine. "No, I can't do that Irvine," Van said before Irvine managed to get what he had planned to say out of his mouth.
"All that I am saying van is that you should keep that in mind. You are torn to between two people, a wife who probably doesn't even love you and the woman that you love who loves you back. What a hard decision," Irvine said with sarcasm dripping from his voice.
Van was beginning to wonder why he told Irvine this in the first place. Irvine seemed even more determined to make Van break things off with his wife. He wondered what made him and Moonbay hate her so much. "Why do you hate her so much Irvine, what has she done to you? Have you even tried to be friends?" Van asked seriously.
"Plenty of times. The problem is that she doesn't want to be friends with us. I also have my own personal reasons as to why I don't like her. Did you know that one time she actually started to through around accusations for me and Moonbay?" Irvine asked making Van give him a questioning look. "I almost lost my marriage because of that. She didn't even seem to have a care about it afterwards though. She has absolutely no pity towards others. You should see that most since you have lived with her for a while now."
"She couldn't have done that!" Van yelled refusing to face what he knew was the truth within his own heart. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have shouted like that," Van said leaning his head back. "I am just so confused, that I don't know what is what anymore," Van said with a sigh.
Irvine grabbed Van's cell phone off of his desk and looked at it closely for a while. "You always know what is open to you when you finally decide what it is that you truly want. You have a chance to be happy again, it has to be your choice though," Van said sliding the phone to Van before standing up and walking out of Van's office and back towards his own.
Van looked at the cell phone in front of him. 'A chance to be happy? What am I going to do?' he asked himself in a pleading way hoping that something would be able to tell him what it was that he should do.
Van growled in frustration and stood up grabbing his cell phone and walked in a rather fast pace out of the office only muttering something to his temporary secretary about taking a break before he left the office. He had an idea but he wasn't sure if it would be a good one.
Van left the building a few minutes after his office and immediately got into his car before driving full speed away from the building. He wanted to get away before anyone could stop him because he needed time to think and he knew of the perfect person that could help him. The problem was with all this is that the old man was a little eccentric. Yet wise at the same time.
Van drove for a good twenty minutes before he came upon a small building. The building belonged to the eccentric scientist Dr. D. Van had known the old man for many years and the old man also knew Fiona as well even if the old man hadn't seen her for a while.
Without even bothering to knock, Van walked into the small lab since Dr. D had given him permission to do so a long time ago. He looked around the small laboratory but the old man was nowhere to be found.
Van noticed all of the crazy inventions that Dr. D was working on. Some were strange but other worked really well. After all, Van's company was using a lot of appliances that were made by Dr. D anyways.
Van stopped to look at a small appliance even if he had no idea what it was or how it worked. It looked interesting on the outside. He saw a small button on the side of the object and his curiosity got the better of him and he pressed it. a second later he jumped when a loud wailing sound emerge from the object. It nearly dropped out of his hand but he grabbed it and turned the sound off quickly.
"This things seems to be more annoying than helpful," Van said when suddenly a sound caught his ear. It was the sound of snoring and that could only mean that Dr. D was nearby at that moment. Van took another look around before seeing a sleeping figure underneath some appliance he was probably trying to fix.
Van walked over to the old man and shook his head with a slight laugh. "Same old Dr. D," Van said with a laugh. He tried kicking him lightly in the leg but that received him no response at all. Van suddenly remembered the object from before and an evil smirk appeared upon his face.
He walked away and returned a moment later with the object in his hand. He kneeled down and pressed the button so the loud wailing filled the room again and smirked when Dr. D awoke with a start and ended up nailing his head on the bottom of the object that he was trying to repair.
"Damn it Van. Did you really have to wake me from my sleep in such a harsh way?" Dr. D asked without even having to look at Van. It was an instinct he seemed to have after knowing the young man before him since close to the day that Van was born. He had been a close friend to the Flyheight family for years.
"Now where is the fun in that," Van asked with an amused smirk plastered on his face. Van held out a hand for Dr. D and he took it and Van hoisted him onto his feet while he was rubbing his head with his other hand. "I came to talk to you about something old man," Van said becoming serious.
"What would be the problem this time? Are you having problems with your company, or could it possibly be problems with your wife again?" Dr. D asked knowing that it had to be for one of those two reasons because when Van had a problem with one of those two he would come to him.
"I don't feel like wasting time so I will get right down to the point of my visit. "Do you remember Fiona old man?" Van asked with all seriousness in his voice showing that he didn't want Dr. D to mess around.
"Sure I do. Quite the woman you used to have. Loving, kind to a fault; she would have made a good wife for you if you two hadn't broken up. Now look what you got and what she is compared to Fiona. Why is it that you asked me this Van?" Dr. D asked quirking an eyebrow in Van's direction.
"A few weeks back I was told that I would be getting a new secretary and it turned out to be her," Van said looking away. "Ever since then my entire life seems to have been getting more and more screwed up. I really needed some help so I came to talk to you," Van said with a sigh.
Dr. D knew that he was right. It did sort of have to do with Van's wife. It was because Van could very possibly be having doubts about his marriage to Tiffany. Dr. D knew that he couldn't blame Van for that. It had to be a hard time that he was going through. "What sort of problem would you be having with Fiona there?" he asked although he felt that he knew the answers.
"Everything! I am having thoughts I shouldn't be having since I am married and I am doing things that I know for a fact that I shouldn't be doing since I am married," Van growled out finding the constant migraine he had been having suddenly come back.
"Sounds to me like you are still in love with Fiona. It is no surprise considering how in love the two of you were back then. It would be hard to let go of such feelings," Dr. D said in a wise tone of voice. "Besides, you two make a much better couple than you and Tiffany," he said in a funny voice trying to joke around while also telling the truth.
Van was growing irritated. Dr. D was only telling him what Irvine was constantly telling him. "No! I can't be in love with Fiona still. I put those feelings behind me a long time ago!" he yelled out of irritation. He felt this feeling deep inside of himself when he said that that told him that he was only lying to himself.
"Van you and I both know that this is a serious matter to deal with. You will have to make a choice on what you are going to do about all of this. It may hurt one of them but it will hurt both of them more if you don't attempt to solve it. This is also something you have to decide about, I can only give advice and my own opinion," Dr. D said taking a seat in a chair with a comfortable sigh.
'How can I possibly decide upon this sort of decision?' Van asked himself. "How can I decide upon something like this?" Van asked his thoughts out loud hoping that Dr. D would be able to give him answer to at least this.
"All you need to do is follow your heart and do what you feel is right. Be careful though. The right thing for the wrong reason could be a bad thing. Like just staying with Tiffany because the two of you are married. If there is no love then everything will fail either way and you will end up alone in the end," Dr. D said seriously.
Van knew that he was right. He knew if he would make a decision that he would have to know what he truly wants and what he could see happening in the future with his choice.
Van came home rather late that night. He was completely exhausted and if it was even more possible, even more confused then when he went to go see Dr. D earlier in the day. He had no idea what sort of decision he was going to be making. His thoughts were mixed with the conflict he was having over the two most important women in his life.
Almost as soon as he stepped out of his car, something caught his eyes. It was a figure that was sitting along the beach. He knew that it was Fiona but he didn't know what she was doing out there at that time in the night.
Van looked at the watch that was on his hand. He saw that the time was actually very close to eleven thirty at night. He was curious as to why Fiona could possibility be out at this time of night. He doubted that it was just to look at the stars so he felt like he just had to find out.
Van walked slowly so as to not scare her by coming up to her a little fast. When he was only about three or four feet away from Fiona, he came to a stop and just stared at her as the moonlight reflected off of her figure. "What's up Fiona?" Van asked softly looking up in the direction that she was looking.
Fiona just smiled a little but didn't bother looking at Van immediately. "Nothing really. I am just thinking, that is all," Fiona said finally looking at Van with that small smile still on her face. Despite all that had happened to her, she still had that constant look of serenity upon her face.
Van noticed that Fiona appeared to be deep in thought about something at that moment. He decided to just let it slide and asked her a simple question. "Do you mind if I join you?" he asked indicating a spot next to her.
Fiona just shrugged her shoulders. In reality she was very happy that Van did what he did. Ever since their kiss the previous night, she found it hard to sleep and stayed up most of the night contemplating all that had been going on between the two of them. It was all something that she just couldn't understand.
Fiona finally looked away from the stars and turned towards Van with a calm look on her face. "Van, may I ask you a question?" she asked looking at him with her beautiful crimson orbs. Van's nod was her signal to continue. "What is it that is going on between the two of us? What is it that we have?" she asked in shaky tone showing her nervousness.
Van was a bit taken back by her question but he too had that thought in mind. "I really don't know Fiona. I have gone through that exact same question so many times trying to come up with some sort of answer to all the times that we kissed. Every time I try though, I always come up with the exact same unknown conclusion," Van said shaking his head with a sigh.
Van looked at Fiona after he explained his thoughts to her but what he saw made him worry. She was nervous. She kept fidgeting every once in a while. "What's wrong Fiona? You look a little nervous," Van stated placing a comfortable hand upon her shoulder.
"I am scared Van," she said with a slight crack within her recently calm voice. "I know that it is wrong for me to be saying this and I keep trying to tell myself that I can't but it never works. I am still in love with you Van!" Fiona shouted out the last part before she suddenly burst into tears.
Out of all her thinking about them within the last few days, that was the only thing that she had no doubts about. She wished to not be, but she couldn't. She loved him so deeply in the past and even though she did get engaged to someone else, she knew that she never really got over that love that she held for Van.
Van was shocked by her sudden confession yet at the same time it didn't surprise him at all. All the same, he found himself unable to respond. His mind and heart were telling him that he needed to say what he knew she needed to hear. She looked so distraught at herself and it hurt him to see her that way.
A thought appeared within his head the next second. Everything suddenly seemed so clear to him with that thought. It was a thought that was so wrong, yet so right at the same time. It was something that he knew he could no longer deny to himself or to Fiona. He lightly placed his hand upon her shoulder again and she turned to him with her sad eyes. "I... still love you too Fiona," he whispered before leaning his head down and taking her lips with his own.
Little hesitation was in this kiss unlike the last three that they had. They were sure of what they wanted this time. They showed it through the passion behind their kiss as their tongues battled for dominance within their mouths. Each was too wrapped up in the feel of the other lips that they had no care for their other problems.
They separated from each other and just stared into the others eyes. When Van stared into Fiona's eyes he saw something that frightened him and also made him feel good. It was the same look that he had seen in his dream. He didn't know if it meant anything though.
Fiona's eyes held resolve within them. She knew what she wanted. She wanted Van. Even if it was only for that one night she wanted to know what it felt like to be truly loved by him. To know what her mother forced away from her for so many years. She loved him and she knew that she wouldn't regret it if they did it.
"Van, I know that this is wrong of me to be asking you this but let me stay with you tonight. Please show me what it means to be truly loved," Fiona said scaring herself that she was able to be that forward with her feelings for him.
Van's eyes nearly popped out of his head. "W-w-what?" he asked slightly scared. "W-what about all that you have worked to keep Fiona. Why do you want to waste that all now?" he asked but deep inside of him, he knew that he wanted the same thing as Fiona. He just wasn't sure why she would give up something like her virginity so easily to him now when she worked hard to keep it for so many years, to save herself for marriage.
"I don't care anymore. I love you and I want you and only you to be my first. I know that if I don't do this that I will regret it. I don't care if it only has to be for one night. That is all that I want. If that is what it takes then you can just go back to your wife afterwards and I won't complain even the slightest," Fiona said with love flowing through every word that she said to Van.
Fiona realized the biggest difference between Van and Ethan. If she had said this exact same thing to Ethan, he would have immediately agreed to do that sort of thing. Van on the other hand thought only about what she wanted and was trying to persuade her otherwise. He never wanted to put her in a situation that she would end up regretting. She knew that she would never regret this happening later on though.
Van looked deep within Fiona's eyes for any sort of hesitation. He found none. There was only love and want within her eyes. "You do know what you are asking Fiona?" he asked just to make sure and he received a nod.
"I can wish for nothing more than tha..." Fiona said but she was unable to finish her sentence before Van's lips laid claim to hers. She was quick to respond to the kiss and deepened it even further.
They broke it a moment later and just stared at each other with the same love and need within their eyes. Van knew that he wanted the same thing as Fiona. There would be one difference between what he wanted and what she wanted. He carefully picked Fiona up and walked to the house.
Van just lay there long after Fiona had fallen asleep. He never thought that they would end up doing what they just did after their break up so many years before. Yet here he was, with Fiona right beside him, after a night of passion filled lovemaking. He kept thinking that it was only a dream and that any moment he would wake up and be disappointed that it wasn't. Yet here he was still lying there with Fiona by his side. He wanted to keep it that way.
Van now had to do the hardest thing that he ever had to do in his life. Fiona wanted this to be only a one-night thing if that was what he wanted but he didn't think he had it in him any more to keep it that way.
Carefully untangling himself From Fiona so as to not wake her up, Van crawled out of his bed and walked out of the room so he could do what he needed to do without disturbing Fiona.
He grabbed his cell-phone and turned it on before slowly dialing a number. He knew that it was late but he also knew that the person he was calling was still up because she was always up at this time of the night.
The phone rang a few times before his wife picked it up not sounding the least bit tired. "Hello?" she asked sounding a little bit angry because she must know that it was him through caller id.
Van was hesitant to speak at first but found his voice. "Hello Tiffany. I am sorry to call you this late at night but we really need to talk about something," he said and when he didn't hear anything on the other end, he knew that he had her full attention. "Listen, I am sorry to say this but this marriage really isn't working out anymore," he said and waited for the yelling he knew was going to ensue.
"What? What do you mean that our marriage is not going to work? I spent years of my life on this marriage and I am not just going to give it up!" she yelled at the top of her lungs. She was seriously pissed at having Van say something like that. She thought that he would surely remain with her yet here he was destroying their marriage.
"I'm sorry but I just don't think that I can keep going with this marriage. Look, I am sorry about this but my choice is finally," he said before hanging up the phone before she had any sort of chance to yell and argue with him any longer.
Van sighed as he leaned back in his seat. He felt bad for doing what he did but he wanted Fiona by his side and he had to do that if he was going to get what he wanted most. Now he knew that he could live the rest of his life happily with her like he had dreamed while they were still going out.
Van walked back into the room quietly and crawled back into the bed already missing the arms that were awaiting him even if it had been only a few minutes since he had gotten up. It was just a feeling that he knew he needed to have more than anything at that moment.
"Where'd you go Van?" Fiona mumbled in a sleepy voice as her arms wrapped around his waist and her head rested itself upon his chest. That was something that Tiffany never really did with him. She never really held him like this any night or anytime for that matter.
"I just had some unfinished business to do Fiona. Go back to sleep," he said kissing the top of her head before also being pulled into sleep not too long after while reveling in the wonderful feeling he had when he held Fiona within his arms. He could probably say that it was the best sleep he had ever had in his life.
There is a lemon for this chapter that can be found on the website: adultfan. nexcess. net/ aff. all that you have to do is remove all of the spaces from the web address.