I sat in my room, trying to wrap my head around everything. Tomorrow was the 55th Hunger Games and I was a tribute in the games. I rubbed my eyes as I sat up in bed. I was stressing. Majorly stressing. So many thoughts ran through my head. What if I just killed myself right here, right now, and just not worried about this? What if I'm not prepared enough? Did I train hard enough? What if someone goes crazy? Should I go with the Careers and play it safe? Should I stick with my team? Who will die first? Will I die in the Cornucopia? Will I win? What are my chances? What if Titus and Grandis meet? How reliable are my allies?
I finally had enough and went to the roof of the building. I needed fresh air.
I sat towards the edge of the building, watching the Capitol. While everyone should be sleeping, many people were awake, milling about, having Hunger Games parties and taking bets and everything. They really didn't get it, did they? They were sending 24 teenagers to their doom. To their death. And, they didn't care. None of them had to sacrifice their children. None hd to experience grief. None of them had to worry about anything. And they thought that it was just a game. How sick. How sadistic. I was suddenly so angry and sick to my stomach. I hated everyone in the Capitol. I hated everyone in Panem.
"Olivia?"a voice said. I turned around. Of course. It was Grandis.
"What do you want?"I said harshly, going back to watching the city. I was angry at him in particular. He has made my life a living hell the past couple of days.
"Are you okay?"he asked, coming to sit by me. I wanted to throw him off the edge. The drop could definitely kills him. But, as he put a blanket around my shoulders, I suddenly needed to talk. I needed to talk to someone. Bottling this stuff wasn't healthy.
"They're all so ignorant, aren't they?"I asked, watching as a party went on in the apartment across the street. They were watching recaps of past Hunger Games and drinking like crazy.
"Ignorance is bliss."he replied.
"Don't they realize that they're sending 24 teenagers to die? That this isn't just some game show but that's it's real life and people are dying?"I said.
"Probably not."he said. For some reason, he wasn't talking much. Then, I realized how unfair this was for him. He's been preparing for this basically his whole life. Against this will. I could tell that he didn't want this. It made me sad thinking about it. He has been preparing his whole life and he might not even win it. I looked him over, looking at his soft blonde hair and striking green eyes. He was someones baby. He was someones kid. And, they had forced him to...
"Oh god."I said, a tear streaking down my cheek. He looked at me and quietly shushed me, pulling me close to him.
"It's okay. They're all idiots."he said, thinking that I was crying because of the Capitol people. I laughed and looked up at him. What am I doing it?
"No. It's not that. Well, sorta."I said, wiping my tears and sitting up.
"Then, what is it?"he asked. I adjusted the blanket and wrapped it tighter around me.
"I'm just feeling sorry for you."I said, shaking my head.
"For me? You're feeling sorry, for me, the guy who got the eleven?"he asked. I laughed.
"Yeah. I know. I'm dumb."I said. He cupped my chin and made me look at him.
"No, you're not. You just care."he said. Time slowed and he leaned in. I pulled back and he sighed in disappointment. We sat in silence for a moment.
"Did you mean everything you said at the party?"I asked.
"Of course I did."he said, sounding hurt. I looked at him. He did have that hurt look in his eyes.
"Then why did you just tell me? Why didn't you tell me sooner?"I asked. He sighed and ran his hands through his hair.
"My father sent me to the academy and I had a strict training schedule. Every time I did see you, I just wanted to be a kid for a change. That's why I started liking you. You were so much fun and free and I was jealous. I wanted that. I wanted that so badly I would scream at my parents, begging them to just let me have fun. I begged and I begged. But, they wouldn't let me. They wanted me to bring honor and riches to the family, although they were already rich as Midas. They stopped taking me to parties, leaving me at home to train in the studio, alone."he explained. I sighed.
"I can't imagine parents being like that."I said. He scoffed.
"I know. It's crazy. And, there's ton of parents doing it in District 1 and District 2. That's why, when I get older, I'm going to start a campaign to help kids going through this. I wanna destroy the academies and the training schools and just let kids be kids."he said. I smiled. Such a bright future.
"Well, I hope you win."I said, looking at the stars. I couldn't see much.
"No. I want you to win."he said. I looked at him.
"Are you crazy? Me? Win the Hunger Games? As if."I said. He took my face in his hands.
"You have to win."he said, looking me full in the face. I felt a blush rising to my cheeks.
"Why?"I asked.
"Because I can't stand the thought of you dead. I can't the stand the thought of you in the arena, fighting and killing to survive. I can't stand the thought of you in this situation. That's why I want you to win. I want you to go back home, get married, and live a peaceful life, being the Pearl of District 6."he said, tears welling up in his eyes. Tears were already streaming down my face.
"Sure, I can't stand the thought of you with anyone other than me. But, it's a lot better that you end up with someone that can take care of you instead of dying. I hate the thought of you being buried in a cemetery in 6 while I still be alive. That's why you need to win."he said. I shook my head.
"There's no way Grandis. There's no way. All the odds are against me. There's no way."I said, standing up and walking around. I couldn't believe this.
"Then let me help you. Team up with me. Just you and me. We could survive. We could do it."he said following me. I shook my head and paced.
"There can only be one victor Grandis! Only one!"I screamed at him.
"And I want it to be you!"he yelled back. He stopped me, pulled me close, and kissed me. And, for a moment, I enjoyed the kiss. Tears were streaming down both of our face. Grandis pulled me closer and tangled his hand in my curly locks. He deepened the kiss as I wrapped my arms around his chest. Then, I pushed him away, remembering Titus. We stood there in stunned silence. He started walking towards me and I held up my hand to stop him. He stood there, looking dumbfounded, as I left. I couldn't deal with this anymore.
I came back into the apartment to find Titus digging around in the fridge. He looked up, the gallon of milk in his hand, standing there shirtless and in a pair of boxers.
"Hey. Where have you been?"he asked. I felt like a deer in headlights for a moment. Then, I composed myself. I didn't even have to mention Grandis.
"The roof. I needed some fresh air."I told him, walking to my room. But, he could tell that something was wrong. He stopped me and fixed my hair.
"Have you been crying?"he asked. I nodded and laughed.
"Well, don't worry. I'll be there to protect you."he said, wrapping his hands around me and kissing the top of my head. I wrapped my arms around him and smiled. Yeah. He'll be there.