The camera clicks on to reveal…. Well, most likely it would still be Kanki, though her slightly too-round face is no longer framed with brown, gold, black, and red locks and is instead surrounded by short golden-blond and brown hair, hanging about to her ears. She's smiling widely as she skips back to the couch where Samantha is seated, eyes wide and shaking slightly. Beyond is on his usual chair, in the middle of his usual any-given-moment-during-the-day-time snack in one hand, two fingers of the other dipping into the jar. They are all wearing exactly the same outfits as before, but, really that goes without saying by now, doesn't it?

"Hi and welcome to the show! Kanki would like to personally welcome ALL of her lovely re-"

"Lovely? LOVELY?" Samantha cut in, eyes wider than normal – quite a feat for the Birthday girl. "You dare call those freaks lovely? Their sickos, all of 'em!" she declared, pointing at the camera and hissing. "What is going on in your twisted little minds that makes you write things like… like… like that? You… Ugh! I can't even think of a derogatory term strong enough to use about you freaks! Mental! All of you! Mental!"

Kanki scooted a bit further away on the couch. "Beyond-kun, your sister is scary…"

"Kanki-chan is the one that introduced her to the fandom." The genius calmly pointed out.

"Fandom?" Samantha questioned, then gave a high-pitched, hysterical laugh before going on a rant about how it was more 'freakdom' than 'fandom.'

"… Kanki didn't mean for her to find 4 chan…" Kanki whispered under the rant. Beyond nodded sagely.

"Indeed, that was unfortunate."

"Perhaps we should knock her out and go on with the show?"

"We need her for the second letter…"

"Oh. Gag her then?"

"Sounds like a plan." And so Beyond set to work of spider-crawling behind his sister and fastening a random rag he had found on the floor around her mouth while Kanki scotched back over and held her hands behind her back until a suitable cord could be found to bind them. Samantha thrashed like anything, and Kanki got elbowed in the face three or four times, but the job was eventually finished, and the two tossed her on Beyond's seat and shared the couch together instead.

"Well, now that that's sorted out…" Kanki chirped, smiling, "Shall we get on with the show, Beyond-kun?"

"Yes, I think that sounds about right."

"Samantha?" Both turned to the gagged girl.

"MMMPH!"

"I'm glad you agree." Kanki smiled and handed Beyond a letter. "Would you like to do the honors?"

Beyond nodded and took the letter from her in that its-covered-in-icky-germs way that he stole from L and looked curiously at the name on the front before opening it and reading it over silently to himself.

"Um… Beyond-kun?"

"Yes Kanki-chan?"

"You're supposed to read the letter."

"I am reading the letter."

"I mean… out loud."

"Oh. Oh, right." He coughed slightly and began to read. "'This sto-'"

"You have to say who it's from first!"

"… why? Beyond already knows who it's from."

"So our viewers will know, of course!"

"Oh. Of course. It's from someone named Hikari."

"Hi Hikari-san! Thanks for the letter!" Kanki beamed and waved at the screen.

"Now what, Kanki-chan?"

"Er… you read the letter. That's what Samantha does anyway."

"Right." He nodded once and looked over the letter.

"… aloud."

"… right. 'This story is awesome! when are you updating?' … clearly, Hikari-san, we are updating now. "Anyway my question for Beyond is can you read this?'" He paused and looked at the paper. "Yes. Beyond can read this." He stated plainly.

"… are you going to read it to the rest of us?"

"No. It s a list of those 'post it in your profile' things that you dislike. Beyond thought it prudent if he skipped over it."

"Ah. Good idea. Is there any more?"

"Yes. 'well that's all I have bye!' then there are some arrow type things and a dash."

"Kanki sees. Thank you for your letter, Hikari-san!" Kanki smiled and waved before producing another. "This one's from Skyward Shadow, one of my best reviews! Thanks for the letter Sky!" she beamed at the screen before opening it. "Okay, so its starts out… 'LOL, so you're going to introduce Samantha (who now.. hates me?! –sob-) to the fandom? This is going to be good..' … she doesn't REALLY hate you!"

Samantha started mumbling something, but the gag made it unintelligible.

"She just doesn't like that you compliment me. And… yes! I introduced her to the fandom! It was going really well till she accidentally stumbled upon 4chan… That was… scary…" Kanki shuddered at the memory. Samantha, also, started to shudder. "ANYWAY… back to the letter! 'And Beyond hates steak? I never woulda guessed..' Yeah. Kanki didn't think so either. Why DO you hate steak, Beyond-kun?"

"EVIL! Steak brings death upon this house!" the Birthday boy hissed.

"Okaaaaaay then…. More letter? More letter! 'I have a totally random question for both Beyond-san and Samantha-san: What are your favorite seasons and why?'" Kanki put the letter down and walked over to Samantha, as Beyond was still flipping out over steak, and untied her gag.

"YOU PEOPLE ARE SICK! SICK I TELL YOU!" Samantha declared as soon as her mouth was freed. Kanki slapped her, hard.

"Stop that!"

"But - !"

"Favorite season?"

"Fall…?"

"Why?"

"I like the color, and everything really quiet, I guess."

"Good. Beyond?" Both girls now turned to the calming down closet-necrophiliac.

"What?"

"Favorite season and why?" Samantha questioned.

He paused, biting down on his thumb nail in thought. "… Winter. I like the snow. It makes everything look… clean."

Kanki beamed at the camera. "Well there you have it, folks! And now we conclu-"

"Kanki-baka, you forgot the rest of the letter!" Samantha announced, glaring at the author. She had somehow managed to free her hands and was holding the remains of the letter.

"Oh. Right. You do it then, Neko-chan."

"Samantha."

"Whatever, just finish the letter, yeah?"

"… yeah, fine, whatever… 'Thanks for another awesome chap, Kanki-san!! I hope Samantha stops hating me soon.. DX'" Samantha paused to glare at the screen. "I'll stop hating you when you stop complimenting the little freak."

"Wh-what did you just call me?" Kanki asked, trembling in anger now.

"… freak?" Samantha asked in a small voice.

"No, no, before that." Her tone was so sweet it could give cavities, but her fists were clenched and her smile clearly forced.

"… the?" Samantha's voice was squeaking now.

"In between those two."

" … … … little" the Birthday girl cringed.

"That's what I thought."

"You… you aren't going to kill me?"

"Oh, I'm going to kill you, I just don't think our viewers need to see this." And Kanki – who had seemingly pulled Russia's pipe from hammer space – walked calmly to the camera, one hand fisted around Samantha's shirt to make sure she didn't run away, smiled, and turned the device off.