Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Sometimes I can see the vein on my feet. They pop out.

They talked for some time, stopping only at the behest of Naruto's growling stomach. "Ughh. I'm hunngryy. When's ero-sennin going to get here?"

Minato shrugged. "I was only told to be here by ten.. Jiraiya-sensei is almost never late. Something important must have come up."

"Did Kakashi-sensei tell you to get here at ten too?" Minato nodded as Naruto took up a thinking posture. "Mmmmm.. I know what happened. Kakashi-sensei is always a few hours late when he gives us Genin team meetings. He loves to make us wait. I bet he said for us to get here at ten just to make us wait a few extra hours. That evil pedafeel!"

Naruto's ended his speech by holding his growling belly and crumpling to the floor.

The Fourth resisted the urge to palm his face. Kakashi probably just wanted to give us some extra time to bond. That Kakashi.. he could have just told us the truth. We could've gone somewhere to eat lunch. Now we're stuck here not even knowing when Jiraiya-sensei is going to arrive.

Not giving voice to any of his thoughts, Minato smiled and pulled out two of the rolls of rice that he'd snapped together this morning. He extended one to the groaning boy. "Here."

Naruto eagerly snatched it and began wolfing it down. Minato chewed thoughtfully on the other one. I'm going to have to teach him manners from scratch..

-Intermission-

"..and then I heard, 'Yo my cute student!'" Naruto covered his face with his hands and gave a disturbingly Kakashi-like eye-smile. "And I was like, what the hell?! It's Kakashi sensei! What the heck was he doing here?! And then when I asked him he was like," The boy once again became the spitting image of his Jounin-sensei, "'Do I need a reason to visit my cute little student?'"" Naruto shivered.

Minato raised an eyebrow. "That's exactly what he did to me this morning.."

"Really?!"
Minato nodded. "We can't let him get away with this."

"Of course not! We're going to prank him back to the Academy!" Naruto yelled. "You'll help me right?"
Minato smiled. "Of course. Judging by where Jiraiya-sensei is planning to take us, we'll have a couple weeks to plan exactly what we're going to do to him."

Naruto beamed. "So what are you and ero-sennin going to teach me on this training trip?"
"Hmm, what are we going to teach you.." The Fourth tapped his chin thoughtfully. "I have something that you could work on, but I don't know if you're ready for it."

"I'm ready for anything you can throw at me." Naruto exclaimed with a confident smile.

"We'll see. What made you think this was a training trip anyway?"

Naruto's face scrunched up in confusion. "Huh? Kakashi sensei told me that Ero-sennin was taking me on a training trip. If this isn't a training trip, then what the hell is it?"

"We're setting out to find Jiraiya-sensei's teammate, the Sannin Tsunade to take up the role of Konoha's Fifth Hokage.. or Jiraiya is and we're tagging along to help convince her to do it." Minato smiled. That Kakashi is so going to get it

-Intermission-

After devouring the simple lunch of onigiri and eggs that Minato had brought with him, the two blonde Shinobi began discussing Naruto's Jutsu and fighting techniques. At half past noon, about half an hour after that, Minato began teaching his son the arts of hand-to-hand combat.

When Jiraiya arrived at one in the afternoon. He found the two sparring lightly. Naruto could be heard loudly complaining. "Daad how do you even move so fast?"

"A little Chakra and a lot of practice." Minato's reply rang back clearly. "Keep trying."

The Fourth turned to his mentor, his eyes and his voice a lot brighter than they'd been the night before. "Jiraiya-sensei! You're here!"

Taking advantage of the distraction, Naruto charged his father without reservation. This time I've got him!

Only to be sent flying by a well timed sidestep and a heavy forearm to the upper back and shoulder. Minato smiled, unfazed. "I take it you managed to convince them to take her?

"Yup!" The Toad Sage nodded. He looks a lot better.

"Ero-sennin! You're late!" Naruto leapt off the ground unscathed to stab an accusing finger into the air.

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are! We've been here since ten!" Naruto glared.

"I never told you to be here at ten. I specifically told Kakashi that I'd be out around noon. If anything, you should've been here at noon the earliest. What? He told you to come at ten?"
"Yeah! He did!" Naruto voiced vehemently.
Minato put a calming hand on his son's shoulder. "We've got two weeks." Naruto nodded,

The Fourth then turned to his mentor. "Shall we head off then, Jiraiya-sensei?"

The Toad Sage grinned. Those two are getting along quite well. Wonder what they're up to?

"Yeah, let's go."

-Intermission-

Two hundred feet from Konoha's main entrance, a crow sat pecking away on the steel sheets of one of the apartment's rooftop. It had been there since early morning, pecking away at garbage and shiny items. Its beady eyes watched as the distant image of the Sannin Jiraiya and the Jinchuuriki, Uzumaki Naruto, strolled out of Konoha with the newly returned Fourth Hokage, Namikaze Minato.

The crow cawed loudly and flew into a concealed alleyway, disappearing in a flurry of feathers.

A mile out from the village, the crow reappeared and leapt lightly onto the hand of Uchiha Itachi. The Sharingan-user closed his eyes as the crow communicated what it had seen to him before disappearing back to wherever it had been summoned from.

Kisame picked his ears. "So can we go yet?"

"Not yet." Itachi replied. "He's left the village, but we should give him a few days to get further from the village before we go in."

"Fuck I'm bored." The mist-Swordsman groaned. "..and Samehada's hungry." He added as an afterthought.

Itachi remained silent, encouraging his blue-skinned partner to carry on. "I don't see why we have to avoid him like this. I bet we could fight him. We're both S-rank nin for crying out loud!" Kisame turned to his partner, waiting for a response.

Itachi decided to indulge him. "That man is 50 years old. No Ninja fights through and survives two wars and lives to that age without having been incredibly powerful. You seem to forget that he's also one of the Sannin. You've seen Orochimaru. Even I couldn't subdue him after his attempt to capture me. Our objective is to capture the Nine-tails, not fight Konoha's strongest Shinobi."

Kisame tilted his head to the sky in frustration. "I know but.. ugh FUCK! A few days?! Really?! How about we compromise? One day at most."

"Two."

"No."

Itachi turned his Sharingan eyes to his partner's black ones. "The Fourth Hokage has recently returned to Konoha and is leaving with him." Kisame's eyes widened. Itachi continued without pause. "If both the legendary Sannin and the Yellow Flash were to arrive, we'd be severely outmatched. Two days is already pushing our luck."

"Even with your overpowered Sharingan?"
Itachi was silent as a rock.

"Tch! Fine." Kisame conceded grudgingly, and the two were quiet for several minutes. Itachi meditated while his partner paced the forest floor, occasionally taking a few practice swings with his massive sword.

Suddenly, the Mist-nin had a revelation. "You better not have been using those Sharingan of yours for that argument. That's just cheating."

The Uchiha smirked. "You're the one who met my eyes."

Kisame twitched. "You petty bastard."

-Intermission-

Yuuhi Kurenai balanced herself on the ledge of a bridge arching over the creek which ran along the edge of Konoha's more remote areas.

To her side, walking on the bridge's mainframe, was the tall, black-haired son of the Third Hokage.

"We should get married."

Kurenai leapt off the ledge, landing lightly on her feet. "What brought this on?"
Asuma chewed on his unlit cigarette as he carefully weighed his response. "One of these days you're going to get pregnant."

The Genjutsu Mistress scoffed. "We haven't been that careless."

"It could happen." Asuma shrugged. "Regardless, wouldn't it be nice if we could settle down.. start a family together?"

They walked quietly for a few moments. Kurenai frowned. "I don't know."

"What're you worried about?"

"Let's say we do settle down and start a family.. it's goodbye to my Shinobi career until all our kids are old enough to take care of themselves. Then I might be too old or 'inexperienced' to get back into the loop." The woman bit her lips. "I'm just not sure I'm ready to commit to such a sacrifice."

Asuma sighed. "That's such an old-fashion law. I don't see why we can't have other people watch our kids while we're out in the field doing work."

"What, and have a bunch of kids just to have someone else raise them? Asuma, what kind of family would that be? Shinobi work is dangerous. What if we died? Our children would be orphans."
"The Fourth did it." Asuma chewed his cigarette gruffly. God he wanted to smoke it so badly right now. He'd forgotten his lighter and neither had the correct elemental control to just light the thing with a fire jutsu without causing excessive damage to their surroundings.

"He was Hokage." Kurenai kicked a pebble into the water. "You're not."

The two walked together in amiable silence. They'd broached the subject many times before, but they just couldn't seem to come to a satisfactory solution. Both wanted to settle down, but neither were ready to throw away their Shinobi careers.

As the two walked, they saw another pair of people approaching them casually. Both wore matching cloaks specked with red clouds along with dark cloths shrouding their faces and identical straw hats.

The shorter of the two tipped his hat in greeting. "Excuse me. You wouldn't happen to know where we can find an 'Uzumaki Naruto' would you?"

Uzumaki Naruto, Kakashi's student and Jinchuuriki of the Nine-tails? Asuma smiled. Things were getting interesting. "We might. Who are you and what business do you have with Uzumaki Naruto?"

"We're friends of his." The masked figure drawled. "If you could just kindly give us his whereabouts, we'd be on our way. We don't want any trouble."

Asuma looked to Kurenai who shrugged. She gave the masked man a smile. "We wish we could help you, but we really don't give away the location of our village's Shinobi to just any random stranger who ask for it. Especially strangers who try to mask their identities. Seems like something only missing-nin would do, you know what I mean?"

Itachi nodded as Kisame pulled the bandage-wrapped Samehada from his back. "I see.

Asuma had already shot a signal for assistance.

With a nod, the two Rogue-nin threw off the cumbersome hats and scarves they'd been wearing.

"Whew! I thought we'd never take those damn things off." Kisame cried with relief as his sword bore down on the bearded Jounin.

Asuma grunted under the force of the blow as he blocked it with his trench knives. "Hoshigaki Kisame!"

Kisame grinned. "That's me. Looks like I'm known even here."

Itachi stood in place, analyzing the abilities of the two Jounin before him. His gaze fell steadily on the woman, who was running quickly through the seals for a Genjutsu. He countered it with his Sharingan, allowing the woman to believe that her illusion had worked as she stood trapped in his. The moment her Jutsu went awry was the moment Kurenai realized that she'd been placed in a counter-illusion. She quickly bit her lips to dispel the illusory tree which held her bound in place to find herself staring straight into the three-tomoe eyes of Uchiha Itachi.

Itachi aimed a slow kick at her face before she could properly recover. Kurenai barely raised her forearms in time to block it but was still sent flying into the water.

It was at this moment that Kakashi happened upon the scene. He quickly figured out what was going on, created a shadow clone, and rushed to the aid of his fellow Jounin mentors.

Itachi turned his gaze to the masked man. "Hatake Kakashi. Copy-nin and user of a thousand jutsus."

Kakashi chose not to respond, his Sharingan eye already revealed. "Asuma, Kurenai. Don't look the Uchiha in the eyes. Go get help. I'll hold them off."

"Oh really?" Kisame gave a small laugh as Asuma and Kurenai raced off to signal reinforcements. He ran through several hand seals and summoned a massive water dragon from the river. ''Suiton: Suiryudan no Jutsu'" Only to have it neutralized by an exact copy of it.

"You fucking jutsu thief. Looks like I'll have to deal with you first." Kisame turned to the copy-nin, but was stayed by his partner.

"Kisame. He's mine. Just watch." Itachi jumped into the water, sizing up his masked opponent.

Kakashi dispersed his shadow clone. A one vs. one match? How arrogant. The Jounin smirked. "Your Sharingan is powerful, but you forget, I have one too. Your tricks won't work against me."

"We'll see. Tell us where we can find Uzumaki Naruto and you will be spared." Kakashi responded by sending a fireball in the Uchiha's direction. "'Katon: Goukakyuu no Jutsu!'"

The most basic Uchiha Technique.. The missing-nin thought as he blew his own fireball to counter it.

Kakashi used the cover of the fireball to dive underwater. As he prepared a water dragon, he saw several massive water sharks swimming toward him. Still standing above water, Itachi had his hand on the river's surface. "'Suiton: GoshoKuzame'"

Kisame frowned. That's MY technique..

Kakashi leapt out of the water, sending three Kunai toward the Uchiha. Itachi threw double the number of kunai, deflecting Kakashi's projectiles with frightening accuracy. The rest flew toward the copy-nin who, upon seeing the movement with his Sharingan eye, wheeled through the air, dodging the kunai aimed at his navel and chest. The third one he caught in midair with lightning-quick reflexes before landing lightly onto the water's surface.

Without a second's pause, Kakashi raised the kunai to parry a slash. Itachi had closed the distance between them with incredible speed. With the help of various Chakra-induced propulsions, Itachi spontaneously sent his other hand rocketing into Kakashi's kunai arm. Unfazed by the loss of his weapon, Kakashi quickly twisted back, delivering two consecutive kicks toward Itachi's side. Itachi leapt up, dodging the kicks and sent identical kicks toward Kakashi's face just as the Jounin was straightening from his previous maneuver. Kakashi ducked forward.

As predicted. Itachi's right leg swung over Kakashi's head, but he changed the trajectory of his second kick, angling his left leg downward and landing it cleanly on the back corner of Kakashi's head.

The blow sent the copy-nin tumbling through the water. Even though his Sharingan had given him the foresight to mitigate the otherwise fatal blow with a small layer of Chakra, he still suffered a dizzying pain as he began feeling the symptoms of head trauma creeping in. Kakashi grit his teeth behind his mask. Damn. He cracked my skull.

He raised his eye to meet the maddeningly expressionless face of Uchiha Itachi. Itachi's eyes bore into his. "Only an amateur. Your Sharingan will always be just a mere imitation of the real thing."

Kakashi furrowed his eye, unable to look away from the Uchiha's mesmerizing gaze. What is he talking about?

Itachi's eyes swirled. "'Tsukuyomi'" Kakashi's world fell to pieces as Konoha took on dark, inverted shadings.

Itachi's voice rang all around him. 'Allow me to show you the true power of the Sharingan'

Suddenly, he felt something sharp plunge into his flesh. He winced in pain. This is only an illusion.

Kakashi flared his Chakra. Nothing happened. Another kunai sunk into his left leg. Kakashi fell to the floor in agony. His senses became unnaturally sharpened as a flurry of other kunai pierced his body. At the apex of his agony, the pain disappeared and the kunai were gone.

Itachi's voice rang all around him. 'Allow me to show you the true power of the Sharingan' A kunai sank into his body. Kakashi ran as fast as he could. More kunai stabbed into his lungs, his stomach, his back, his arms, his legs, his feet, and his hands, pinning him into the ground before vanishing into the air.

'Allow me to show you the true power of the Sharingan'

A creeping panic crawled over him as the horrifying scene repeated itself again. Shit-shit-shit-gotta-get-out-of-here-shit-shit-shit-shit-SHIT! He fell, screaming in agony as the kunai once again began pelting his body and hammering him into the ground.

Kakashi was defeated in a matter of seconds. While the Tsukuyomi only required several seconds of application, Kakashi was made to experience seventy hours of torture in an alternate universe. The Jounin collapsed, unconscious from severe mental trauma.

Asuma and Kurenai arrived with Maito Gai in tow just as Kakashi fell face-first into the water.

Kurenai's eyes widened in shock at finding the immaculate Uchiha standing over Konoha's renowned copy-nin. Hoshigake Kisame was standing where they left him. That Itachi managed to beat Kakashi without receiving a single scratch?! That's insane! They'd only been gone for a couple minute tops and had expected to find the masked Jounin battered but still standing at their return. Even with Gai here to join the fight, it was entirely possible that they'd still be defeated. She began to feel a crippling sense of fear. Never in her life had she felt so incredibly outmatched. How can they be so strong?!

"Reinforcements.." Itachi looked them over impassively. "and likely more to come. We're not here to fight a two-man war against Konoha. Let's retreat."

Kisame sighed and the two leapt off, racing back down the path they'd came from.

-Intermission-

After an hour of running, the two Akatsuki members finally stopped, their position relatively secure. A crow appeared and landed on Itachi's hand before disappearing in a burst of black feathers. "My crow that had been following the Sannin tells me that Uzumaki Naruto apparently left with him on the trip."

Kisame swore. "Why the hell didn't it come back sooner?"

"Its orders were to tail the sage, not to look for the Jinchuuriki, Uzumaki Naruto. It only came back because it was nearly killed after the Yellow Flash caught it spying on them in the town of Inazaku." Itachi replied in monotone.

"So we're heading to Inazaku next?"

"Yes."

"Damn, we shouldn't have asked them for their Jinchuuriki like that. Now they know what we're after. The Leader's not going to be pleased if he hears about this." The mist-nin scowled. "If we fail to take the boy from both Jiraiya and the Yellow Flash, next time's going to be a huge pain in the ass."

Itachi withheld a smile. "I know."

-A/N-

I enjoy a well-made coffee-cake. Just not too much. Something small and delectable. Yum.