The Diego Diaries: Stuff and Puff 'n Stuff (dd7 10)
=0=For the good of the order
"You have a backlog of slaggers to deal with, Optimus. One could almost say that you're shirking your job," Ratchet said. "You have five more slaggers who are going to sit in prison and rot."
"Slacker is not a word in his vocabulary, as you well know," Prowl said with a cool optic on his nemesis. "Surely a short rest in the processor hospital will put to rest that very great and treasonous lie."
Ratchet laughed. "Me in the processor hospital? Surely, you're looking in a mirror when you say that, Granny."
"You both could use a tune up," Ironhide said with a grin. "Insanity runs in both your families from what I hear."
Prime chuckled. "I am not going to touch that one."
"Good for you," Prowl said with a smirk.
"What's the next holiday? Any before Festival?" Alor asked from his monitor.
"There's the Fourth of July Camp Out in the Valles™ or so I'm told by Annabelle Lennox. I saw her at school when I was doing some service in their class and she reminded me that her favorite outing here was when we go to the Valles, camp and cook barbecue," Ratchet said.
"Did you disabuse her of that thought?" Prowl asked.
"No," Ratchet said with a gigantic smile.
"Oh great," Prowl said.
"I rather like barbecuing. I think I have the hang of it," Optimus said with a sweet smile. Lying in his arms sleeping madly, Sojourner sawed logs.
Ratchet and Prowl both subbed their cameras after taking snaps, then Prowl frowned. "Surely, you don't want to really go into the wilderness, bivouac, cook on a fire, play horseshoes and get loaded, right?"
"That sounds like a good time," Raptor said. "I can have my barbecue packed and ready to go. What time?" he inquired from his monitor.
The slagger.
Prowl frowned at him, then Blackjack, Hard Drive, Drift who got a surprised look from Springer, Elita who was nodding as Jetta was laughing, Sun and Jack who were watching with Steiner from a monitor who didn't know what this was but were game, Arcee who was agreeing with Elita while Magnus was disagreeing, Maelstrom who was waiting for Chromia to tell him what to do, he was so happy to do ANYTHING with her, Ironhide who was watching the mania knowing nothing could stop it now and Ratchet.
He was lounging against Ironhide with a grin.
"I would say … given that I singlehandedly ended a travesty at the courthouse thereby deserve a fete of this magnitude. I want to sit on my throne with a beer watching you slaggers get sweaty browed doing the labor. Least you can do, crybabies. I include you in that group, Prowler." Ratchet gave him a gigantic smile.
Prowl gave him a rap on the knuckles.
"Okay, lets get this organized. We can make the reservations at the Upper Deck campground at the Valles. We can reserve the runabouts if you tell me now who is coming," Elita said as she decided to run the table. Glancing around the room and the monitors, everyone but Prowl raised their servos. "Good. We'll reserve the entire area. The usual moochers will be there. So we have that, the boys get to barbecue for us and all is well. Horses?" she asked as she glanced at Springer who was frowning slightly.
"Do you really need permission?" Springer asked.
"Whiner," Elita said with a chuckle. "Now … about the date. How about the following orn after the Kaon-Iacon game?"
"HERE! HERE!" -Everyone but Prowl.
"Everyone bring gear, food, booze and gossip. That about takes care of it. Any questions?"
No one had any because it wouldn't matter anyway. Everyone looked contented but for Magnus and Prowl who sulked.
"DONE DEAL!" Ratchet said. He grinned at Elita. "Thank you, offspring, mine." Then he glanced at Prowl. "Or is she one of yours, too?"
Prowl smirked at Elita, then Ratchet. "I'll take a pass on this one."
HUGE hoo-haw greeted that from the punters as Prowl lounged in his chair.
"This will be fun. Fifi loves to camp," Laret said sweetly. "Shall we barbecue as well?"
"Actually, you can bake," Ratchet said remembering the array of delicate pastries and other things that Laret and Neo were so famed for.
"DONE DEAL!" Laret said as the room convulsed. She smiled at Prowl. "I shall make up personally your favorite Praxian pasties, Prowl."
Prowl was almost mollified.
=0=Shortly later
"You going to rain on everyone's parade all orn, Prowler?" Ratchet asked as he sat on a chair at the command table.
Prowl grinned. "Fragger. What if something pops up? Like just now?"
"We go and I lay servos on. I, Ratchet the Undaunted, Ratchet the Miraculous will do my sovereign duty to my sovereign."
"Well, you got one thing right in that slag," Prowl said as he kicked back. "What are you going to bring for food this time?"
"Miracles, Prowler. I'm bringing miracles," Ratchet said as he stood. "Just like my stuffed French toast. Miracles." With a brilliant smile, Ratchet swished out.
Prowl watched him go with amusement. "Frag. I better get something better." He chuckled. "How hard could that be?"
=0=Later that evening
Prime peered into the home office noting that Prowl was on the computer. "Are you coming to recharge, Prowl?"
Prowl looked up, leaning 'casually' in front of the screen. "Shortly." He grinned.
Prime quashed a belly laugh, then nodded. "Very well. Do not work too hard."
Prowl nodded to him. "I won't." He grinned again.
When Prime walked down the corridor, Prowl turned back to the screen. Legions of recipes were listed with some checked for further study. He would be at it for a while.
Optimus lay back on his big old berth, then chuckled softly. "Do not ever change, Prowl." With that, he relaxed to wait for Prowl to come. He would have to wait a while.
=0=Mid morning the next orn
Ratchet sat along the wall waiting for the arraignment of the slaggers. They were going to be pleading from prison over closed circuit television ala Court TV so things were expected to be less violent and more contained. Prime and Prowl walked in along with Springer and Drift. Everyone who needed to add anything to the proceedings were there. They sat down together.
"Good thing they aren't dragging them in from the prison," Springer said. "They have a few burns but mostly they're not happy with the outcome of their little expedition. They've been making that loud and clear to everyone in audial range."
"Poor babies. I can't imagine why," Ratchet said with a grin.
The doors opened as the judge, a small femme named Miso and the bailiff, Ascme walked into the room. Silver was already there to record and act as clerk. They chatted a moment then a big screen nearby was activated. It showed the logos for the judiciary and the usual Prime/Colonial/Cybertron stuff. The court itself was lightly populated and suggested that the mini-con population had either behaved or not gotten caught. Either way was fine with the audience that was there.
"All rise for the Honorable Magistrate Miso of Upper Tetrahex," Silver said.
Everyone stood.
"You may sit and maintain decorum," Silver said.
Everyone sat.
Miso nodded respectfully to Prime, then checked her data pad. "We can begin, Silver, with the prison suspects."
"We are here to receive the pleadings of the prisoners, Spectre, Chalkline, Barger, Clone and Semper. Have you had a chance to talk to them, Marlin?" Silver asked the public defender on call for this session.
"I've tried but they were upset. They did, however, give me their pleas so I can represent them. If you will," Marlin said with a grin. He was an older attorney who specialized in hard cases and open court calls. He was a well liked and very experienced mech with slaggers like this.
"Very well," Miso said as she glanced up at him. "What are their pleas? Before that, are they going to appear on camera?"
"No," Marlin said with a grin. "I won't give you their full statement, however. It might not favor them in the long run."
Miso grinned, then shrugged. "I bow to your discretion. What do they plea?"
"Not guilty under circumstances of great aggravation but I've paraphrased that part, thank goodness," Marlin said.
"Very well," Miso said with a chuckle. "We will add their pleas and schedule them into the docket. Will you represent them?"
"Maybe. Right now, they're in a state. When they calm down they might choose otherwise but I'll be the attorney of record for them for now," Marlin said.
"You're my hero, Marlin," Miso said as she added that note. She looked up then at the senior Autobots sitting nearby. "I do believe that we're good here, Lord Optimus. All of you can relax until trial. Thank you for your presence."
Prime stood. "We are happy to serve," he said, then led the group to the door and the corridor beyond.
"Is it really magistrate court without mini-cons?" Ratchet asked no one in particular when they gathered outside the court room.
"I do not think so," Prime said with a grin. "Where are you going now? That is, to lay servos on as I believe I heard it put."
"Well, Ironhide is leaving for Cybertron after a departmental meeting so it won't be him," Ratchet said with a smile.
Gagging and choking sounds by Prowl were almost as dependable as Ironhide when Ratchet 'flirted'. Ratchet laughed. "Old Faithful, that's you and Ironhide, Prowler. By the way, who's catering your end of the picnic and what about you, Optimus? Have you got the grill out yet?"
"I will," Prime said with a grin as they began to walk to the big doors down the long hallway. "Prowl will have to fill me in on the rest."
"Which catering place is going to fill you in, Prowler?" Ratchet said before Prowl slugged him in the arm.
Prime followed along with great amusement and a carry hold filled with children.
=0=Around
"I heard that Optimus and the family are going to the Valles to camp and do a barbecue," Lola said as she sat in the office of the Resort chatting up the ladies. She ran with her sister, Cindy, the programs for NASA on world, educational and otherwise. They were doing a feature for the big website they maintained about life in the Resort and how that all worked.
"When?" Judy Witwicky asked as she paused typing out a letter to an expediter who sent flowers to the facility.
"After the Kaon-Iacon game. Depends, of course, on things happening or not but that's the word I got," Lola said. "They're trying to sneak out without us."
Judy Fulton laughed. "The fools."
=0=On The Human Grapevine, a collaborative online publication for the local humans
Owen Harris checked the grapevine, The Human Grapevine which was an electronic 'newspaper' that was in-house among the humans. It was a place where anyone could publish something or anything, news, family stuff, gossip or ask for or tell something someone else wanted to know or needed. It was funny, could be serious and was always being updated during the day and night.
The rumor of the Prime and his group going to the Valles, the Upper Deck Campground to camp and barbecue was intriguing. This wasn't the site with the dome habitat features that allowed humans staying there to take off their masks in a controlled environment. This one was higher up and usually reached by runabouts. He would have to check on maybe tagging along. Half the habitat was allowed to go out now. Maybe this could be a day trip for some of them.
He walked to the elevator, then entered. A short smooth ride downward would take him to the ground floor and the day's activities, conference calls and interviews with Earth. They would never get enough of the habitats nor those who lived there.
He disappeared into the morning crowd on the Grand Concourse in seconds.
=0=TBC 6-8-19 edited 6-9-19
ESL: mollify, mollified: (mall-ih-fy, mall-ih-f-eyed) to make better, to have made things better "They had ice cream to mollify their hurt feelings."