A/N: the last chapter was admittedly not as funny as I usually make it (which I'm sure is the reason my review average was down), but I finished writing near midnight local time, and I'm sure most of you out there know what that does to one's muse…
Hmm… Harry-clone!Hinata… an interesting idea…
And now, ANKO!
(Read 'Harry Potter and the Collided Worlds' by Sokai, story id 2502930)
Uzumaki Harry
by Shadow Crystal Mage
Chapter 10: Anko's True Revenge!
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, Sasuke, Hinata, Myrtle, or Harry. Please don't sue me.
(Read 'Harry Potter and the Collided Worlds' by Sokai, story id 2502930)
Harry was going to die.
He knew it was bound to happen some day. It was a rare ninja who died in his sleep of natural causes, after all. Thus, ninja had a tendency to, in much the same way others dreamed of the perfect life (pool, cars, pets, famous actress/actor as future spouse), dream of their perfect death. Many dreamed of dying bravely in defense of their village. Others, a suicidal run at something like the Kyuubi. Let's not even get into the ones who fantasized about dying by bravely showing "the brat's" true colors (sickoes), not to mention those who dreamed of dying killing 'the brat' (sicker-oes).
Harry, personally, dreamed that he'd die in a climactic battle to protect his village (and by extension, his then-innumerable nieces and nephews), one that was so awe-inspiring, epic, and just plain cool that they'd make a whole statue of him out of the mountain.
So he did not fancy the thought of being beaten to a pulp by his insane and possibly necrophilic sensei (like he should be one to talk).
Still, that didn't mean he wasn't going to be dignified about this.
He dressed with great care that morning. His forehead protector was polished until it shone. His wand-loaded dagger was full of poison, and mounted on a new holster near his left shoulder, ready to be pulled down and out at a moment's notice. All his weapons had been sharpened and dipped in a little poison. He had a couple of bezoars hidden inside his collar, and his fuuma shuriken– both of them– were lubricated and ready to fly. He'd cleaned his glasses and secured them with a little wire.
If he was going to die, not only was he going to look good, he was also taking her down with him!
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"Touya-kun, cancel all my appointments and tell anyone who comes I'll be out for the whole day," Sarutobi said as he walked awkwardly past his secretary.
Touya raised an eyebrow. It wasn't every day you saw the Hokage carrying a couple of shopping bags worth of popcorn, chips, pocky, beer, various nuts, cookies, candy bars and an air-horn. "Um, may I ask where you're going, Hokage-sama?"
Sarutobi turned to face him and Touya was knocked for a loop at his grin. "Anko came back to town yesterday. Today is her first training day with Harry-kun all summer."
Eyes widening in astonishment, mouth deforming into the shark-like grin of someone who knows carnage is about to come and is going to enjoy it, Touya began cleaning up his desk and shutting down his PC. "Hokage-sama, I would like to request that my day off be transferred from Friday to today."
The old man raised an eyebrow. "Don't you have a date with your girlfriend that's been planned all month?" he said in amusement.
"She'll understand," Touya said. "It's near the memorial, right?"
Sarutobi nodded, hurrying along as Touya finished cleaning up.
Just as the secretary-nin was about to leave, he was struck by a sudden thought. Reaching for his phone, he dialed a number. "Hello, Kaho-chan? Change of plans. I had my day off changed to today… Because Mitarashi Anko is back in town, and she's meeting Harry-san for training, that's why… yes, bring a blanket, I'll save us a spot. A few snacks would be good too… no, I'm not sure how long he'll last…"
Putting down the phone, Touya grinned. He was going on a good date after all…
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He never thought he'd be coming back here. At least, not before he'd destroyed it, anyway.
It was easy to blend in unnoticed. Leaves looked the same at a distance, after all, and say what one will, he was once a leaf.
He hadn't planned to be here. He had techniques to learn, plans to make, schemes to stew, people to kill. He shouldn't be in Konoha, off on a lark because of a couple of rumors. He really shouldn't be off on a casual jaunt to see someone who'd sworn to kill him. Legendary ninja or not, that was irresponsible.
He went anyway.
He had been very surprised when heard she'd become a jounin instructor. It wasn't because he kept an eye on her– he wasn't sentimental. He found out because his spy had mentioned the unusual circumstances of her appointment. Only two months of training? It was unusual enough that he'd had his spy keep an eye on it– that is, pass on rumors. It wasn't important enough for any actual effort, merely a curiosity.
Okay, maybe he was a tad sentimental. Still, he justified it was keeping an eye on his first successful curse seal.
His surprise came from the fact he'd never thought her to be sensei-material (he hadn't had a choice. Stupid war and resulting teaching drive). Still, seeing his student teaching in action wasn't what had prompted him to return to Konoha. No, he'd heard that the brat (singular. Again, most unusual) had pulled a prank on Anko and given her months to stew.
That was why he'd come back. If nothing else, his student was… entertaining… when she was being– dare he say it?– evil.
Besides, he had to know whether this student of hers was so gifted he felt he could pull if off or just plain stupid. He was 'recruiting' (cough curse seals cough) after all. If he was lucky, it was both. The Yondaime was proof it could happen…
Straightening his flowery pink dress, touching up his makeup and trying to look as 'civilian woman' as possible, Orochimaru looked for a place to change. The dress, while good for sneaking in, wouldn't do for the next stage of his mission.
Besides, it was pink, and he hated pink. Evil, immoral and a right bastard he may be, but he wasn't that evil!
And it didn't match his make-up…
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The teachers were acting weird, was Sasuke's thought as he patiently waited for class to start. He kept facing forward, not moving his head by so much as an inch as he quietly observed the way teachers were talking excitedly out in the hall. Amidst the noise of the classroom, Sasuke was having a hard time figuring out what they were saying.
…
All right, he had absolutely no idea what they were saying since lip-reading wasn't something he was familiar with. Still, he could tell the teachers were excited about something.
Trying to put it out of his mind, Sasuke glanced sideways at the girl sitting next to him. She was tapping her fingers together, as was her habit, resolutely trying not to look– or blush, or move, or even breath– at the boy sitting on her other side lest she draw his attention to her and give herself an incapacitating shock.
Yes, she was sitting between Naruto and Sasuke.
It had become standard practice over the last few days, and was part of a rather complex and convoluted, multi-layered plot (for kids their age, anyway). Myrtle had managed to get herself appointed to watch over the class while Iruka was gone after a particularly… screwy incident involving a basket of rubber balls and an improvised catapult (Sasuke barely managed to get away with that one). This allowed her the authority to– after a loud (as in 'heard-through-out-the-school') incident involving Naruto, Sasuke, and Sasuke's fangirls (much to his regret)– order Hinata to always sit between Naruto and Sasuke (for some reason, no one bothered to ask why Naruto and Sasuke always sat close together despite getting on one another's nerves). Hence the current sitting arrangement.
It had all been carefully contrived by Sasuke, Myrtle, Harry and, to a small extent, Hinata, after their little confrontation a few days ago…
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Hinata found herself being imprisoned at Ichiraku ramen. Well, perhaps 'imprisoned' was a bit too strong of a word.
To her left sat Uchiha Sasuke, who was digging into a bowl of ramen. To her right was the older boy who had identified himself as Uzumaki Harry– apparently Naruto's adopted older brother– also eating a bowl of ramen. And behind her…
Hinata firmly quashed the urge to turn around, or as firmly as she ever did anything, anyway. Behind her, she knew, floated the yurei who had been introduced as Myrtle.
"Aren't you hungry, Hinata-chan?" Harry said lightly, the easy familiarity sounding incongruous coming from him. "Your ramen's getting cold."
Flushing in embarrassment, Hinata went back to eating the ramen they had bought for her. It was very good ramen, actually. She knew this was Naruto-kun's favorite flavor, and on tasting it, she could easily understand why. The rest of the meal passed in silence between the four.
Upon finishing the bowl– with a little difficulty– Hinata was finding herself pleasantly full, and maybe a little sleepy. The young Hyuuga girl suddenly found herself in the crossfire of two penetrating gazes, one onyx, the other emerald.
"I'm sure that you've been wondering as to why we wanted to talk to you, Hyuuga-san," Sasuke said evenly, not sounding sleepy at all. "You see, it's come to our attention that you've been following our brother for some time now. Quite a while, possibly."
Hinata found herself blinking in surprise. "Your brother?" she asked in confusion. Sasuke didn't have a brother that she knew of. And why did he say 'our'?
"Naruto," Harry clarified, and Hinata turned to face him, leaving her open to Sasuke's scrutiny. "You've apparently been following him a lot, Hinata-chan, and as his concerned brothers, we'd like to know why."
That confused Hinata even more. "'Brothers'?" she repeated, looking at Sasuke in surprise.
The boy hesitated, looking at Harry for confirmation. At the older boy's nod, Sasuke hel out his hand and, in the most polite voice she'd ever heard from him, ever, Sasuke said, "Perhaps I should reintroduce myself. Uzumaki Sasuke, at your service. Naruto-kun is also my adopted brother."
"But, I thought you were an Uchiha?" Hinata said. He certainly looked like it.
Sasuke shrugged. "Not anymore."
"Ahem," Harry said, prompting a return to the matter at hand. "I'll get straight to the point, Hinata-chan. When you weren't looking, I doped your ramen with a truth serum." He held up a clear phial for a moment and stuffed it back into his pocket as Hinata's eyes widened in surprise, then mounting horror. "Now, I'd like to know: why have you been following Naruto?"
Hinata tried to fight the slightly sleepy feeling and found herself having a difficult time. Whatever that truth serum was, it's effects were potent…
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Actually, it was all a cock-and-bull lie. It had been a psychological ploy to get Hinata more amendable to talking (that and Harry hadn't been able to get at any truth serums). What they'd learned had been very interesting, though…
Surreptitiously, Sasuke glanced at Hinata out of the corner of his eye, all the while giving the appearance of ignoring her completely. For a moment, he was glad of that stupid rumor saying that he liked long-haired girls. Hinata's short hair pacified his fangirls, meaning they didn't see her as a threat. Still, he tried not to make any moves that would hint that he was interested in her. Somehow, he thought that might be fatal for her too. Still, at least she wasn't a fangirl (Harry had teased him relentlessly about the fact there was actually one girl that was immune to his charms).
Hinata, apparently growing tired of playing with her fingers, had reached into her bag and pulled out a book to read. Sasuke had been surprised– although not too surprised– to learn she was a 'Yami no Tsubasa' fan. It had been funny to see her face when he said– and proved– that he was it's writer. For a moment, he was afraid she would start prostrating herself, or maybe faint. Hinata hadn't done either, however. After recovering herself, she politely asked him for an autograph, which he'd gladly given with a blush. So she was technically his fangirl, just in a different sense.
Sasuke pondered on the results of that day in Ichiraku. Of all the girls who would have a crush on Naruto, Hinata was… well, as unlikely as the rest. But now that he knew that she did, well…
Sasuke allowed a trace of a smile to flicker over his face before frowning slightly. It was a pity Hinata had made them promise not to tell Naruto. She'd been mortified at the prospect of his knowing, almost fainting on the spot. When they'd pressed, she'd almost cried. That had been the only thing that had stopped them, as well as the only thing that could get them to promise to keep Naruto in the dark. Pranking girls was one thing, making them cry something else entirely.
Still, that didn't mean they couldn't drop hints…
Sasuke's musings on hinting things to Naruto (which promptly spiraled into a waking fantasy of a lot of white-eyed, blond nieces and nephews calling him "Uncle Sasuke", having a Hokage-in-law, and a Hyuuga sister-in-law) was interrupted as Iruka entered the room.
"Now class," he said as soon as everyone was silent. "The teachers have decided to take you all on a fieldtrip today. Please pack your things and leave in an orderly fashion."
There were various cheers as thirty-odd kids– Kiba, Chouji and Naruto were certainly odd– scrambled out of their seats, heading for the door and following Iruka. Sasuke looked up at Myrtle as he got out of his seat, packing away his stuff lest some girl 'claim' it. She shrugged. Outside, they could see other classes streaming out as well.
After a lot of walking– kids kept trying to run off and play hooky– they finally reached…
Sasuke blinked. Hang on, he knew this place. The three logs, the stone marker… this was his aniki's training ground! In fact, he was right there, leaning against a log and looking as resignedly determined as he had this morning.
Sasuke wondered what the heck was going on…
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All Kakashi wanted was a little peace and quiet at the memorial. Really, was that too much to ask? Just a daily solemn moment with the symbolic grave marker of his dead teammates and sensei. He didn't mind that kid that came every morning– Haru, or Holi, something or other. Kakashi was gone by the time the kid's sensei arrived, anyway, and the kid never bothered him. He seemed content to leave Kakashi be, and Kakashi did the same. The silver-haired jounin usually stayed until he felt the kid's sensei– Anko, of all people; what had the kid done to deserve that?– close by, at which he would leave for somewhere else. It was only when he had missions that he would make his visits brief, and only upon properly saying good bye.
Thus, it kind of got Kakashi annoyed that the areas near the tree line were positively teeming with people. Many were shinobi, although there were the occasional civilian and someone lucky enough to have lived to retire. There were a lot of ANBU around, ones he didn't know, although there was something vaguely familiar about them.
He blinked when he saw the Hokage sitting down on a tree stump, surrounded by lots of bags of food. A couple seemed to be setting up a picnic under a tree. He vaguely recognized the guy as the Hokage's secretary. And were those… yes, they were the girls who danced at his favorite bar.
Okay, something was seriously messed up here.
Finding the solemnity of the moment gone by virtue of the people and festival atmosphere, Kakashi decided to go for some info and headed straight for the Hokage.
"Um, what's going on here, Hokage-sama?" Kakashi asked as he drew level with the old man, who had exchanged his head dress for a beer hat and was debating which bag of treats to open first.
"Remember that meeting a few months ago, where Anko got sent flowers?"
Kakashi nodded, vividly remembering Anko's… reaction. Plus because he was tardy, he'd been the one who'd had to fix all the chairs.
Sarutobi pointed. "Harry-kun, her student, is the one who sent it."
Kakashi disappeared in a puff of smoke, only to reappear a few minutes later carrying his own groceries and wearing a beer hat. This ought to be good. He pitied the boy, though. Harry, was it? Hmmm, why did that sound familiar…?
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Harry wasn't sure quite exactly how, but for some reason, his death seemed to be turning into a spectator event. He waved casually to Kurenai and Suzume. Both blushed slightly and waved back, exchanged startled looks, and began arguing over who he'd waved at.
Wincing slightly and smiling in amusement as the two women bickered, Harry took a quick glance around. Seduction corps ANBU, chuunin kunoichi, jounin kunoichi, those nice girls from that bar, and… was that Naruto and Sasuke's class? Yup, it was. He could barely make out Myrtle in the bright light.
Harry twitched when he saw the Hokage in a beer hat. Had this been any other time, he would have busted a gut laughing. As it was, he could barely stop himself from breaking out into incoherent giggles. Yes, this was most certainly the day of his death. He wondered how the school would react…
He had a sudden image of Snape saying "Potter, I did not give you permission to be dead. Twenty points from Gryffindor and five points for not passing in your homework."
Harry chuckled. It was exactly the kind of thing the git would do.
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Anko arrived at the usual time with her usual panache.
Harry was leaning against the log– the crowd had grown much bigger while he'd been waiting– when he felt something hit the side of his face with enough force to send him flying. Unfortunately, he struck one of the other logs, and bounced off painfully, only to be intercepted by a rising kick that made him go vertical. An axe kick to his stomach sent him crashing into the ground with enough force to make an indentation.
"Uugggghhh…" Harry moaned. Above him, the light was suddenly blotted out. That wasn't a very good sign.
Anko grinned. "Hello, Harry-kun. Nice to see you again. I got your bouquet."
Harry snapped a kick, aiming for her head. She dodged back, giving Harry the opportunity to roll, landing in a very low crouch on three points. His right hand shot up, removing his dagger with a twist, his left leg bent, ready to spring.
"Heh. You can't take what you dish out, Uzumaki?" Anko said.
Harry grinned tightly. He was lucky his glasses hadn't broken. Score one for transparent poly-resin materials. "Life's a bitch and so's my sensei," he said. "Bring it on."
Harry didn't catch the glint of approval in Anko's eyes before the woman's hand snapped up, snakes streaking out. Harry flipped back, hissing at the snakes to stay away. Anko's superior control kept them from wavering much, but Harry was able to buy himself enough time to get to his feet as they streaked. He jumped back, forming a single seal before raising his dagger hand to his mouth, his other hand reaching towards his waist. "Katon: Hosenka no Jutsu!"
Several balls of flame struck the outstretched snakes, setting them on fire. They writhed, as if in pain, burning slowly. One of them exploded into smoke, too damaged to retain it's form.
Not that Anko waited. Darting to Harry's right, Anko snapped up her other arm sending more snakes towards the wizard. Harry winced as some bit down, while others encircled his arm and began to squeeze. Ceasing his flames, Harry snapped his dagger once, twice, before pointing it at Anko. "Expelliarmus!"
Anko was knocked back as her snakes lost their grip on Harry, letting blood flow back down his arm. Her concentration lost, the snakes 'poofed' in nonexistence. Trying to seize the advantage, Harry reached towards the small of his back, pulling one of his fuuma shuriken from under his shirt.
Unbeknownst to him, the girls in the background 'ooh!'-ed in appreciation.
Snapping the blades open with a practiced gesture, Harry sent the weapon flying towards Anko. Intellectually, he knew he didn't have a muffin's chance against Crabbe and Goyle of beating the bitch. He was a wizard, sure, but really, how well did that translate into a fighting advantage at his level? The best he could do was make a good showing. And to do that, he had to go all out.
That meant aiming for her head.
His fears were realized as Anko made a perfect 'bullet-time' limbo and caught the shuriken, snapping it closed with it's own momentum. Still, it wasn't a total loss. Grinning, he made another seal, raising the wire he held in his hand up to his teeth as flames seemed to envelope his body. "Katon: Ryuka no Jutsu!"
The blast of flame traveled down the fire, towards the fuuma shuriken and eventually Anko, making a nice fireball.
Harry held the jutsu for fifteen seconds before finally releasing it, leaving behind a large smoldering spot on the ground. He gave the wire a hard tug, sending the fuuma shuriken flying towards him. Catching by it's hole with his dagger, he whirled it around a couple of times. Uchiha-made steel, it was specially designed to cool quickly so as to be utilized by the wielder immediately after being involved in a fire technique. Hence, it was cool to the touch as Harry slid it back under his shirt.
In the background, the fangirls squealed again.
Harry barely slipped the weapon in when he suddenly found himself in a headlock, one hand squeezing his wrist and causing him to drop his dagger.
"You owe me a new coat, Uzumaki," the slightly charred but none the worse for wear kunoichi said.
Harry did his best to face her way. "Bite me, dango-bitch!" he spat.
Grinning, Anko darted for his neck and did just that…
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Meanwhile, unnoticed or ignored by the two, someone was commentating.
"Ouch! That's going to leave a mark," the girl, looking about twenty, with pale brown hair and squinty eyes said as Anko bit Harry.
"And poor Harry-kun is left to Anko-san's tender mercies as she does her vampire imitation and… what's this? A snake seems to have crawled out of Harry-kun's pocket and bitten Anko-san in the face, causing her to loose her hold," her companion, a red-headed girl said.
"Anko-san doesn't look too happy, Kazumi-chan," the other girl said, wincing as Harry spin-kicked Anko's head, only to have his leg grabbed and used to throw him into the log he'd been waiting against.
"No, she doesn't, Mitsune-chan," Kazumi said, raising an eyebrow as Harry made a tugging gesture and causing his fallen dagger to streak for Anko's back. Anko, who had been in the process of charging Harry, immediately replaced herself with a Kawarimi. "Must have to do with the rumor Harry-kun sent her a bouquet of snakes earlier this year."
Naruto crept up to them and snatched Mitsune's microphone. "Attention, ladies! Photos of Harry-niisan in his underwear are now being sold at nine hundred ryou a pop! Available while supplies last! Why, thank you, girls," Naruto said, grinning widely as he accepted Mitsune and Kazumi's money.
Somewhere in the crowd, Sasuke twitched as Iruka went off to collect his errant student, slightly hampered by the fact there was a wave of women rushing to get their photos of Harry in his undies. "Why didn't I think of that?"
Myrtle leaned down towards Sasuke, freaking out a few classmates who still weren't quite used to the yurei. "You are getting me some of those," she hissed.
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The fight was long, brutal and very, very messy. It involved low and underhanded maneuvers, backstabbing, surprise attacks, imaginative use of jutsus, an abundance of weapons, and very dirty tricks.
By the time Iruka managed to get to Naruto, there were legions of unconscious females around him as he gleefully counted his money. The others crawled away, rubbing their hard-earned pictures to their faces.
Anko and Harry's fight wasn't much better. The senior Uzumaki/Potter gave as good as he got, putting his Chakra Scalpel technique to good use as he attempted to cut Anko literally anywhere he could get his hands on. Neither were able to speak much, as both had tried to go for crushing throat strikes. Blood flew liberally whenever they got a chance to go for their weapons, at least until the other got it away from them.
Still, despite Harry's best efforts, he still came out of it with multiple broken bones, at least ten weapons stuck into him, a severely damaged throat, broken ribs, an obscene number of cuts, enough bruising to make his skin look like a bad camouflage print, a smattering of internal damage and various stabs into his limbs.
Despite Anko's experience, Harry was still able to leave his marks on her, though. She had a crushed throat too, as well as various burns in various places from various fire techniques. He'd gotten at least three good stabs into her torso and even more into her extremities. Her left wrist was limp where he'd broken it and she favored her right knee. Her hair had come out of its bun, and there was a profusely bleeding cut on her throat, dangerously close to her arteries. Harry had been paying attention to his anatomy scroll, after all.
Anko was in and out of the hospital in three days. Harry took a little longer.
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Harry decided he'd spent an obscene amount of his life in hospitals. He was currently admiring the ceiling of his room and comparing it with Hogwart's hospital wing when there was a knock on his door. Turning slightly, he saw Sasuke, Naruto, and Myrtle come in. Sasuke was carrying a bouquet of flowers. Harry raised an eyebrow, but said nothing, waiting for an explanation.
Myrtle immediately moved to hover close to him, careful not to touch his skin. He still wasn't well enough to concentrate chakra and touch her, so any contact would be cold. Still she hovered protectively over him, a grim guardian.
"Hey, aniki," Sasuke said, as he put the flowers in a vase next to the bed. "Hinata-chan sends her regards. How are you today?" Ah. So that's who it was from.
"Okay," Harry said a little roughly. The medics had taken care of his throat with a healing jutsu, but it was still a little sore from Anko's kick. "Doctors say I'll be out in a couple more days."
"And back to training and missions?" Naruto said dryly.
Harry nodded, and all three of them winced.
"You're right," Sasuke said. "That sensei of yours is a real bitch."
"'Told ya," Harry moaned. "Thank Hinata-chan for the flowers for me, will you?"
The two pulled up chairs and chatted about what had been going on during the past few days. Copies of the videos of Harry's fight were making the rounds and becoming very popular. Sasuke's new book was selling well, and there were rumors someone wanted to turn it into a manga series. Sasuke gleefully informed Harry that Dragon Ball had been cancelled after the number of children hurt from trying to fly by concentrating their chakra had reached unacceptable levels. Needless to say, Naruto had become pouty.
They weren't Harry's only visitors. The seduction ANBU kunoichi had dropped by as well, leaving their well-wishes and flowers behind (some left their underwear, much to the annoyance of the hospital staff). Hinata had come herself and the two had a pleasant talk about 'Yami no Tsubasa' and the publishing industry in general before she had to leave.
This was not counting the tons of gifts, cards and flowers that Harry received. The Yamanaka's sent him a congratulatory arrangement thanking him for giving them their highest-earning week all year. Ayame from Ichiraku sent him a bowl of ramen every day. Jiraiya sent him a letter asking if he could get any of the nurses to pose for him in his book.
One night, the hospital staff came rushing to his room after getting an alarm to find his room filled with snakes he was frantically trying to order to go away. One of them had a note from Anko saying he owed her a new coat. He thanked his foresight in keeping a bezoar on himself. Getting bitten by poisonous snakes was not an experience he wanted to have often.
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When Harry was finally dismissed from the hospital, the first thing he did was go after Naruto (he'd heard about the pictures). All was right between them after he tossed the blond naked into one of the women's baths in the hot spring district.
Myrtle was incapacitated as Harry gave her a chakra-charged kiss to make up for all those days he was recuperating. It took her twenty-four hours to recover from the shock.
Hinata received a 'thank you' note from Harry about the flowers, along with a book that usually had a bright orange cover but was currently sporting a dull brown jacket. Hinata, curious as to what the book contained, waited until after dinner to open it. She was deep crimson by the second page. That didn't stop her from reading it, though. A week later, she finally managed to approach Harry about getting the next book.
Harry and Sasuke got to talking and by the end of summer, every weapon shop in Konoha was producing weapons made from Uchiha-steel. They all paid sizable royalties to Sasuke, and everyone lived happily ever after.
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The day after Harry was let out of the hospital…
Harry waved lazily to Kakashi as he came to the meeting ground. The jounin nodded politely, muttered something along the lines of "Good fight," and proceeded to go back to his contemplation of the memorial stone.
He'd left by the time Anko sauntered in, wearing nothing but her fishnets, skirt and holster. Without a word, Harry reached down to the paper bag he'd bought with him, pulled out a tan coat and threw it at her.
She deftly caught it in one hand, raising an eyebrow as she examined it casually, then shrugged it on.
"All right," she said. "Let's see how much you've slacked off…"
The two got into ready positions, the same eager grins on their faces…
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Orochimaru left Konoha unnoticed, an unconscious smile on his face. His student hadn't lost any of her skill, nor her penchant for sadism. Her student was pretty good too. She seemed to be rubbing off on him. Yet from all indicators, he would be only an average ninja, nothing gifted or genius about him. As to why he was his student's student, Orochimaru had noted the looks on some of the women present. It was readily apparent Sarutobi had assigned him to her out of some kind of necessity.
All in all, not someone to waste his time on. Konoha could keep him.
Yet as he walked away from the village of his birth, nursing a secret– even from himself– pride at the achievements of his student, one thing bothered him. What had that strange jutsu he'd used one Anko been? What had he called it? 'Expelliarmus'?
Orochimaru frowned briefly, before putting that thought away as well. He'd learn it eventually– at this, even he had to smile– when he finally destroyed Konoha…
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– To be continued…
(Read 'Harry Potter and the Collided Worlds' by Sokai, story id 2502930)
A/N: I believe this is what is usually referred to as crack.
As I'm sure you've noticed by now, I mostly do Sasuke- or Harry-perspective scenes. That's because I don't think crawling into Naruto's head is such a good idea, as I don't think I'm really properly capable of it. Besides, he's underused as a good character (pointless romance fics don't count). Most of the fics these days show him as a bastard with no redeeming qualities. Kind of like a lot of depictions of Ryouga. Hello? He didn't kill Naruto when he had the chance, even though it would supposedly give him the Mangekyou! That is not what a heartless bastard would do!
BTW, how do you say 'uncle' (the relative, not the surrender) in Japanese?
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It's Not Yet Over…
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Harry ran laughing down the main street of Konoha, followed by an enraged and inflamed red Anko waving a kunai.
"STAND STILL AND DIE PROPERLY, UZUMAKI!" she cried, trying to run, wave and scratch herself at the same time.
Harry just kept laughing as the nearly-torture-grade itching powder he'd put in the coat finally did it's work…
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Okay, Now It's Over…
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The Hinata situation will be tackled in the next chap. Hope to see you all there!
Please review, C&C welcome. Please also check out my other fic, Sakura's Harem.
Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off.