Music note: Hard Headed Woman, by Wanda Jackson, and Hallelujah, I love her so, by Eddie Cochran
10. THEORY
"Can I ask one more question?" I asked Emmett as he sped down the road. We were going far too fast for these narrow country roads, making our speed around hairpin turns both terrifying and exhilarating. I caught him looking at me rather than the road, yet I still felt confident he was fully in control of the car.
"I don't see why not," he offered lazily. "There doesn't seem to be any point in keeping you guessing."
"You said you were looking for my 'trail' earlier. What does that mean?" My seatbelt was drawn over my shoulder and clipped, but I pulled the shoulder strap out so I could turn in the seat to face him more directly.
A barking laugh escaped him at my question. "It's weird. Are you sure you want to know?"
"Yes." I answered simply. "I thought we were over the guessing games?"
"I, uhh…" he waved a hand in a way that seemed to indicate the general air in the car. "I followed your scent."
Try as I might to keep my face composed, the answer was too ridiculous. I giggled uncontrollably. There was just a touch of mild hysteria in the sound. Emmett looked at me with consternation until he gave up and joined in my mania.
Once I'd regained control of myself I continued. "You didn't answer my first question, how does the mind reading thing work?"
"I don't actually know," he said. "That's Edward. He sort of explained it like being in crowded room. It all becomes background noise until one thing or other pulls his attention. I don't really get it but there you have it."
"So, then how did you know where to find me? Was Edward here with you?"
"Oh, no," he followed my train of thought. "That's my sister. Alice's talent is even weirder, and honestly, you'll need to ask her for better details. She sees glimpses of possible futures. I can't explain any better than that because I have no idea what that could look like."
"And she saw me?" I asked.
He nodded, eyes trained on the road. "She saw a glimpse of you surrounded by those guys and a street sign above you. She called me as soon as she saw it."
This revelation was too weird. There was no way to think about seeing the future rationally so I skipped over it. "It's called the cocktail effect," I said absently after a moment, referring to Emmett's explanation of Edward's talent. "When one single word, like your name, or an interest, grabs your attention in a room full of noise. I bet that's what it's like for Edward, only all the time." That would suck.
I thought about that, wondering what the proximity of a mind reader implied about everything that was happening between Emmett and me. Edward had apparently been privy to every thought I'd had about his family, and more specifically about his brother. I cringed.
"Don't worry," Emmett glanced over and caught my wincing expression. "He is every bit the gentleman. I'm only now realizing how much he probably hears and never repeats. Anyway, it's your turn. Theories?"
"I don't know where to start," I admitted and pursed my lips in thought, sorting through everything Jacob had told me that day on the beach as well as all the things I'd mapped out in my journal entry.
"Start at the beginning," he suggested. "You said you didn't come up with this theory on your own? Was it a book? A movie?"
"No, it was Saturday at the beach. Actually, I ran into an old family friend, Jacob Black." I said and gulped.
Emmett shot me a puzzled look, probably at the weird sound that had just come out of my throat.
"He's the son of Billy Black? One of the Quileute tribe elders?" I wasn't sure why I phrased it as a question, but the look on Emmett's face told me everything I needed to know about how he felt about that.
"Shit," he muttered.
"So," I ignored his expletive. "We went for a walk, and he reminded me about some of the old tribe legends… trying to scare me, I think…"
"Go on." He didn't take his eyes from the road now.
"One of them was about…" I got stuck on the last word and it was a moment before I could force it out. I cleared my throat indelicately, compounding the odd noises I was making tonight. "Cold ones, er, rather… Vampires?"
Despite my expectation, Emmett remained remarkably calm. "And you immediately thought of me?"
"Yes and no," I continued, finding it easier now that the big word was out. "I was already after information about you, and he mentioned your family… but he didn't believe any of it. He thought it was all old legends and superstitions."
"How did you even get on the subject of my family in La Push?" he asked.
"Sort of an odd story, actually," I pulled a lock of my hair from behind my ear and twirled it absently as I spoke.
"There's this horrible girl called Lauren that goes to school with us," I told him. "She was there, and trying to bait me into some kind of reaction, I guess. She asked why you weren't there in front some of the guys from the reservation. One of them responded with something about y'all not going to the res, only it sounded like you weren't allowed. I got curious, so I took Jacob down the beach and tricked it out of him."
Emmett's face had been darkening into a glower, his teeth locking so tightly I imagined I could hear them grind. However, at the end of my short story his glower cleared into an expression of humor. "How did you trick him?"
"I sort of…" I lifted my hands, palm up. "Flirted? With him? Poor guy. It worked much more easily than I thought it would."
He grinned. "Poor guy, indeed. And that's when you put two and two together?"
"Again, yes and no." I gripped my hands together tightly, nervousness dancing in my belly.
"What brought it together, then?"
"I like to look at things written out, so I wrote it all down and tried to look at it objectively… and then…" I stopped.
"And then what?"
"I decided it didn't matter," I said simply. He pulled the car over abruptly and turned to face me dead on.
"It doesn't matter?" His voice was quiet but incredulous.
"I mean," I started, my voice was a few pitches higher than normal, it sounded like a squeaky door hinge. His reaction made me feel defensive and unsure of myself, but I wasn't going to back down. "No, it doesn't matter to me what you are or aren't."
"You don't care if I'm not human." It wasn't a question.
"Well, you look human."
"You don't care if I'm a monster?" he clarified.
"Monsters don't save lives, Emmett." He was quiet, staring at me with a mixture of bemusement, joy, and alarm.
"So, I'm right?" I asked when he didn't say anything.
"Does it matter?" he shot back.
"Of course not," I crossed my arms and frowned at his obstinance. "But I am curious."
When he let out a breath, I knew I'd won. He turned straight in his seat and returned the gearshift to first to pull back on to the road.
"What are you curious about?" His demeanor had lost all surliness, he seemed lighter and more at ease.
A huge smile spread across my face. "How old are you?"
"Twenty five."
"And how long have you been twenty five?"
He chuckled. "A while."
"Can we talk mythology?" I asked.
"Sure, why not?" his smile was deepening, he almost looked as excited as I was.
"How do you come out during the day?"
"Myth," he snickered.
"So, you're not burned by the sun?"
"Nope, myth."
"Sleeping in coffins?"
"Myth," he hesitated. "Actually, we don't sleep."
"What, at all?"
"This is the part that disturbs you?" he looked down on me again, eyes crinkled with amusement. "No, we never sleep."
"Wow," I said. "That's a lot of time."
"I know," he whispered. "But you haven't asked me the most important question yet."
"What's that?" I thought through all the notes I'd taken, the questions I'd had, and while I could think of several things worth asking, I couldn't fathom what the most important one would be.
"Our diet?" he continued. "You haven't asked me what we eat, yet."
"Oh, that…" I murmured. "Jacob said that in the legends your family wasn't supposed to be dangerous because you don't hunt humans. Only animals."
"He said we aren't dangerous?"
"Well, no, not exactly," I corrected. "He said you weren't supposed to be dangerous, but the elders still didn't want you on their land… just in case."
He didn't answer. "He was right?"
"The Quileutes have a long memory."
I took this as confirmation.
"Don't let that make you complacent, though!" He warned. "We are still very dangerous."
"Even when you don't hunt humans?"
"You say that so easily." He said, bewildered. "You should be much more freaked out than you are right now."
"I feel safe with you," I offered by way of explanation. He shook his head.
"We try," he explained. "And most of us are very good at what we do, but sometimes we make mistakes."
I shuddered. By mistakes he meant sometimes he ate people. Even as I did it, I knew the shudder came only as an expected response. I didn't feel any fear. The reaction was not lost on him.
"Are you freaked out yet?" he asked.
"Not really," I settled back into my seat. "Why do you hunt animals instead of people?"
"I already told you," he was watching me for a reaction again. "It's easier to believe I'm not a monster when I don't act like one."
"You're not a monster," I said easily. "Are animals not enough?"
"They're enough…" he searched for a word. "Nutritionally? But sometimes they don't taste very good. It's like discovering you can survive off pizza and then only being offered salad."
"Mmm," I said. "That is a very real life problem."
He laughed again. "I can't tell if you're amazing or insane."
I let that pass. "Is it difficult to be around humans?"
"It can be," he allowed. "If we haven't hunted in a while, or if someone is particularly…"
"Fragrant?" I offered.
"Fuck's sake, La!" He shook his head at me again, but I could tell he was just shaking his head at my word choice. "You should not be so flippant about being the main food source of your local vampire clan."
"But I'm not the main food source," I said. "Anyway, is it very difficult for you now?"
"Extremely."
"But you're not hungry or, rather, thirsty right now," I said with full confidence.
"Why do you say that?" he asked.
"Your eyes," I said. "They're lighter when you've 'hunted'- that's when you're in a better mood."
He stared at me blank faced for long enough I was worried we would drive off the road.
"Once again, La," he said. "I did not give you enough credit when I called you unobservant."
I left the conversation there for the moment and chewed on everything he'd told me. After a few minutes of companionable silence I picked up the questioning from a different angle.
"So this weekend you went hunting with Edward?"
"Yes," he said. "I didn't love being away from you for three days, but it's a lot easier to be near you when I'm not thirsty."
"Three days?" I asked with frustration. "You didn't just get back today?"
"No," he said slowly. "We got back Sunday."
"Why weren't any of you in class?"
"Oh!" realization cleared out his confusion. "The sun doesn't hurt us, but we can't be seen in public when it's sunny."
"Why?"
"I'll show you some time." It sounded like a promise I could look forward to.
"You could have called," I said. "…or texted."
"What do you mean?"
"I didn't love you being away from me, either. I was sort of worried."
"Oh," Emmett was quiet. "Really?"
"Yes," I said. "I meant it when I said it doesn't matter to me what you are or aren't. It's too late. Now that I've met you, I can't un-meet you, and I don't want to."
"Ugh," he muttered. "This is could be problematic…. I shouldn't be so happy you said that."
"Why is that problematic?"
"I'm dangerous," he said harshly. "This is so dangerous, La! I could kill you."
"You won't." I shifted in my seat folding my legs so my knees were under my chin.
"I want to believe that, but I don't know. I can't be sure. I'm sorry."
It wasn't clear what the apology was referring to and I didn't know how to respond so I remained quiet until he spoke again. The trees continued to slip by in darkness until we pulled off the 101 into Forks.
"Tell me something," he said. "What were you thinking before I came around the corner tonight? It looked like you were hissing at those guys."
"I think I did," I tittered uncomfortably. "I don't really know what I was doing."
"Were you going to fight them?" he asked in stupefaction.
"It probably wouldn't have done any good, but neither would have running, not with four guys behind me. And I was just so mad. I don't think I've ever been that angry in my life. I just wanted to hurt them, to punish them for being the reason women fear walking alone at night. I wanted to see them suffer for every woman that's ever been traumatized by a man." I could feel the rage building up inside of me as I spoke about it, but I stopped when I realized the car was no longer moving, and that Emmett was staring at me in astonishment again.
"You're both, you know," he said in wonder.
"Both what?"
"Amazing and insane."
I hooted a laugh and shook my head, then took off his jacket, leaving it on the seat as I pulled myself out of the car. His answering smile was the one I loved the most with one dimple on the left side. Straight, even teeth flashing white in the darkness.
"See you tomorrow?" I asked.
"Promise." He gave a scouts honor salute. I flipped him off for his sarcasm, ducked under the awning over my door, and went inside.
Once the door was shut behind me, I started shaking. Vibrating. I could barely get up the stairs to my room and into the bathroom the shaking was so violent. I turned the water in the shower all the way to hot and plugged the tub so it would retain all the steaming warmth.
The water burned my skin, but I sat under it anyway until the shaking had subsided and I could relax my rigid muscles. I quickly covered up in all of my warmest sleeping clothes and curled up into the tightest ball I could manage under the comforter.
My mind wandered this way and that, entirely without direction. Eventually it dredged up three important facts that I could not ignore. First, and foremost, Emmett was unquestionably a vampire. Second, there was a very large chance my association with him would get me killed. This would be the second time in my life I'd fallen under the spell of someone that put me in immediate peril. This situation didn't feel the same, though, which brought me to my third fact: I was intensely, and undoubtedly in love with him.