Chap IX – The Absolute Talk
Feliciano's eyes moved back and forth between his brother and Brother Spain like a tennis match. He understood what was going on but did not see the issue the two seemed so inclined to argue over. It's weird.
Feliciano had also been asked by Ludwig to not visit him because he was having troubles with Prussia. And when he resorted to visit Brother France, he froze himself at the door, remembering the chaotic clashes and fighting from inside, with a mix of French/English and even old Celt.
It's weird.
Feliciano sipped his coffee. Eyes alert and listening to the argument between the other two. He didn't understand what the fuss was about. He long knew about Brother Spain's infatuation for England. Everyone knew! It's no secret … or maybe it was? Feliciano only assumed that everyone, like him, would have realised already. Just like he realised the growing interest of Romano in regards of Prussia. They'd look cute together! Feliciano often dragged Lovino with him when he visits Ludwig in order to give his brother and the Prussian a chance to develop this awkward blooming feeling. And of course, Feliciano isn't conceited to believe that he and Ludwig were an item. Most nations actually thought that. Why? They're best friends but nothing more. If anything, Feliciano is attracted to pretty ladies! He'd much rather go out with Miss Hungary or Miss Belgium than Ludwig. Besides, Ludwig has been in love with Brother France for a long time now. He's so obvious that Feliciano still wonders how nobody could see this.
It's weird.
Shouldn't they just all admit their feelings and accept this? Why was there even an issue? Spain and England have been together in the past and despite the wars and incident of the time, they still have feelings for each other! After all this time! Doesn't that mean something? Germany and France are a lot closer thanks to the EU and they both would match well together. They are culturally close and Germany has been in love with France for a long time now. France obviously cares for Germany but Feliciano is certain that a spark could turn this into more. And as for Fratello and Prussia … they would look so perfect together! They all complement each other!
Isn't it obvious?
Sighing, the young Italian walked off to prepare his pasta, leaving Spain to walk out the door with a slam and Romano to lock himself in his room to throw a tantrum. Really … why was there even an issue? Feliciano shook his head, hoping he could visit Mister Austria for the time being. He was sick of the daily arguments between Antonio and Lovino.
Ludwig loves his brother. Dearly. He cherishes him. The Cold War had been excruciating for the both of them and now, Ludwig is grateful for every moment he gets to enjoy his brother's company.
HOWEVER …!
"You do not get a say in my private life, Gilbert! Whom I happen to like or not like is absolutely none of your business!"
Gilbert glared angry red eyes into the furious blues of his brother. For how long has Ludwig been harbouring those feelings? How long has he, the Awesome Prussia, been oblivious to the signs? Was it since the World Wars? Since the Cold War? Or way before that? And all this time Prussia has allowed Ludwig to hang around France, always assuming his baby brother just wanted to socialise or talk business! He was actually encouraging Ludwig and Francis to become closer friends! How foolish can he have been?!
"I wouldn't care or bother you with this if it were anybody else! But I just can't allow you to date … him." Prussia hissed the last word, unable to even speak the name.
Germany shot his brother an outraged expression. So it's alright as long as it's anyone but France? What kind of nonsensical argument is that? What's so wrong about loving France? France is a great country and Francis is a wonderful person! He's kind, generous, considerate, open-minded, forgiving (more forgiving than many others), beautiful, and actually cares about people! He's maybe a bit frivolous and traditional in some aspects, a bit carefree and prefers to enjoy life at his own pace but … That's what makes Ludwig so attracted to him! Francis is just someone both similar yet so different from him! They have matching cultures and just get along so well! And they match one another like Summer and Winter! Really! What is wrong with falling in love with such a person?!
"He's your best friend! Shouldn't you be the one to know best how great a person France is?" Ludwig challenged and noticed the cringe in his brother's dark grumpy expression.
Prussia looked away, glaring out the window of their living room and avoid crossing eyes with his younger brother. Yes. He is well aware of what a cool guy Francis is! And if it were anyone else, Prussia would be praising his best friend! If it had been anyone else, then Prussia would have encouraged any man or woman attempting to date France! But he cannot give up his own brother to his best friend! That just feels … wrong! Absolutely not! What if Francis and Ludwig were to break up?! Then what? Prussia would end up at odds with either his brother or his friend! That's why this Rule was set! To prevent any conflict within their trio! Wars, they can deal with and patch up … but something like that? Impossible!
"Look Lud … I'm not saying he's not great and all but … he's not good enough for you, you know …"
"Not good enough for me?! Are you hearing yourself?! He's the only one … The ONLY ONE that cared for me when nobody did! And might I add, I was alone during that time while you were drinking vodka with Russia! ALONE! AND HATED! He still thought I was worth his attention!"
"Then you see! It's not love it's just admiration or shit like that …" Prussia almost brightened up as he countered his brother but Ludwig's deep sigh told him there was more disastrous news coming.
"Bruder … if that were all, I wouldn't be in love with him. Besides, I've been having those feelings since …" Ludwig paused, hesitating to reveal to his brother something that might make this argument worse.
"Since when?" Prussia's red eyes challenged angrily.
"Since before the Franco-Prussian War!" Ludwig growled back, angered by his brother's persistence. "While you were always busy fighting and being awesome or whatever, I was alone fighting in your name! You were off god knows where for months and Austria hardly cared about me! I've always been on my own! I didn't mind it so much because I was proud of you! But do you even understand how poor a parental figure you were?!"
"And you're telling me France did a better job at it?"
"As a matter of fact, he did! He'd come and visit me more often than you ever did! He treated me like family! And then you had to go to war with each other …!" Germany lifted his hands up in frustration, surprising his brother.
"Are you saying it's my fault?"
"I'm saying I didn't need you to make my relations with him worse! By the time I realised it, I'm the one at war with him! And he hates me! Do you know how it feels to be hated by the person you love? To see nothing but disgust on the face you once knew smiling? Do you even understand how badly I wanted to just quit this war and ask him to forgive me?"
"This was your own doing …" Prussia mumbled with an unusual unease. But Ludwig was far from over! Gilbert watched with slight concern at his raging brother. Calm composed Ludwig is throwing a tantrum … such a rare reaction, the man must be extremely furious and having lost all patience.
"And no matter what I do now, I'm always going to be undeserving of him! Not after what I did to him during the Second War! Not after that … After something like that … You'd think he would stay clear of me or treat me like some monster …" Ludwig mumbled darkly, his eyes clouded in sorrow and shame. He hated that part of him that caused the worst atrocities man can commit. But Francis' words had soothed him more than he could have hoped for …
"It could have been any of us, Germany. You just happened to be unlucky that this lunatic took power in your country. Do you think we don't have insane madmen in our people too? Circumstances, the economic crisis, your huge war debt, and I suppose … you felt extremely resentful and hateful of us all at this time … you were just so easy to manipulate by that man …" France sighed with a dull smile. Ludwig stared at his shoes, unable to look up at the man comforting him after a world meeting. In this meeting, Ludwig had been careful not to speak a word or stand out. Even when he heard America talk about plans dividing Berlin with Russia. England was trying prevent the two superpowers from wrecking a weakened Europe apart and didn't have time to worry about the losers of the war. But France suddenly came up to him and eased his anxiousness.
"It could have happened to anyone, Germany." France repeated his words as they both sat alone in the empty conference room.
"But it didn't. I was the one to let it happen. And I … I … did such horrible things … to you too! Why are you not …?"
"Resentful? Angry? Spiteful? Disgusted? Hateful?" Francis chuckled dryly. "Maybe I should be. Everyone else still treats you like a monster. I'm probably mad to even be talking with you …"
"Then why are you?" Ludwig dared glance up at the older nation and was surprised by the soft sad look in Francis' sapphire eyes. The Frenchman smiled but his tired face and sickly paleness dimed the natural beauty of his features. Yet, Ludwig still felt his heart skip a beat. Like it always does.
"I don't know. It's funny but every time I look at you, I can't stop myself from seeing the cute kid I used to babysit while he waited for his awesome big brother! You were adorable back then!" Francis chuckled, eyes clouded in memory.
Ludwig's heart deflated instantly. Even now … even after all he did … even after horrors beyond belief … France still could only see him as the child he was back then. Just Prussia's little brother.
But …
"I … don't want you to hate me." Ludwig sighed quietly, thinking France would not hear him.
"If I were to hate you, you'd just have to make me change my mind." France smiled teasingly.
"He didn't hate me! I could not even believe this! He wanted to help me! But in his eyes, he was only helping his best friend's brother! He only just saw me as a kid! But I could not ask for more of him! Not after such kindness despite who I was! He was the only one I didn't want to lose … Brother, I really hated you and resented you many times in the past. Because you always were the reason France couldn't see me as more than your brother! I'm always just Prussia's little brother! He'd never consider me as a potential lover!"
"Of course he wouldn't! We've already set up the limits and you're out of bound! He'd never step over the line with you or Lovino! That was the deal!" Prussia suddenly let out in his anger and froze as he realised his own words.
Ludwig's icy blue eyes sharpened in sudden awareness and anger.
"What? Brother … would you care to repeat this?"
"Now, look, Lovi … that's not what I meant … uh … it's not what you think …!" Antonio stuttered, panicking as he scrambled away from the threatening figure of the Italian clicking his gun, amber eyes turned red and Mafiosi mode activated.
"Antonio, this deal you three idiots made … How exactly does it involve me, the Tea Bastard and the Potato Bastard? You didn't make a deal about me without my consent, did you?" Lovino spoke in a cool professional voice, like a killer about to pull the trigger.
"W-Well … it's not like that … you were so young back then! I had to protect you from those two and it's … well, it's just wrong to have you date Prussia! He's my friend and you're my little tomato so … It's ok if it's anybody else! Just chose anyone else, Lovi! Please!"
Lovino considered the man's words and pleading expression. An idea suddenly morphed in his head and the cocky Italian smirked at his ex-caretaker.
"Fine. I'll pick someone else."
Antonio let out a sigh, his expression slowly returning to its normal brightness … before crashing down in horror and disbelief.
"I'll just date England. He's not out of bound, as you say. You only asked that I don't date the other two bastards, right? So dating him is fine?"
"ABSOLUTELY NOT!" Antonio roared and suddenly caught himself. Mentally cursing, the Spaniard glared at the smug expression of the Southern Italian.
"I thought so … then what are you going to do, Bastardo? If I'm out of bound for the Albino Bastard, then isn't the Tea Bastard out of your bound too?"
Antonio didn't point out to Lovino that he had stopped calling Prussia a "Potato Bastard" and swapped to "Albino Bastard". The Spaniard gritted his teeth in anger towards his Prussian friend but at the same time, he was well aware of his own breaching of the Rule. In fact, he probably was the first one to have stepped beyond bound. Way beyond bound.
"He's dating Portugal. So it doesn't matter anymore." Antonio growled but his anger was aimed at his older brother. Right now, he just wanted to pull Arthur out of his brother's arms and steal him away. Lovino noticed the obvious reaction of the Spaniard and couldn't help but feel angered.
So the bastard gets to fantasise about his own love interest, but Lovino can't? So what if he happens to have a small … just a small crush on the Albino Bastard? The guy is surprisingly really sweet and considerate! They both seem to understand one another and have similar conditions that they can relate! And for once in his life, Lovino is actually not second best after his brother! For once, someone actually had eyes only for him!
"It's not fair." The Italian muttered darkly, his gun aimed at Antonio whose eyes widened in shock.
"Lovi …?"
"You don't get to tell me who I can date or not! And if you're so pissed about this whole business with Portugal, why don't you fucking do something about it? Since when do rules apply in Love? It's not a damn game! It's a war! And I'm not planning on letting you rule me over!"
"You have no ruling over me since I can't remember when and yet even now, you think you can dictate whom I can date or not? Francis, this is ridiculous! So tell me: What are you going to do to stop me?" Arthur dared his old friend.
Francis had just admitted to the Englishman everything about the deal he had made with his friends all those years ago. Arthur would lie if he said he wasn't flattered that Francis cares so much about him, but he also would be lying in saying he wasn't furious about this whole situation. How dare the wankers decide things like that on their own without telling him?!
Out of Bound?!
Who the fuck gets to say if he's out of bound or not! That's his decision to make!
"I just … don't want you to get hurt." Francis muttered in contained anger. He understood. He understood very well how selfish he's being and that he cannot shield his little master forever but … but … the last time …
"I don't want you to end up broken like before …"
Arthur silenced, remembering the many times he had fallen into deep pits of sorrow and betrayal. Broken trust and thunderous emotions, he remembered how the pain stung and the shame felt. He was thankful that Francis was one to actually care for him. More so than the Spanish idiot ever did!
"You know … I'm already a broken doll. It's too late for that." Arthur spoke with an empty smile.
Francis' eyes widen in sudden realisation and he rose from his seat at the grand table in Arthur's lounge where the two were having dinner.
"I won't forgive him …!" The Frenchman hissed in a cold threat.
"Yeah, Portugal said something along those lines too." Arthur spoke calmly while taking a bite of his meal, perfectly prepared by Francis. The Englishman then took a sip of wine, his unusual carefree manner intriguing his French Big Brother.
"He's a bit like you. He's over-protective and always supports me. Well, he got really mad when I told him Spain slept with me recently …"
"Spain slept with you?!" Francis screamed in outrage and downright fury. Arthur shrugged.
"He was drunk. And I mean really drunk. Just before the trip to America. And well … I wasn't drunk enough to say no."
"You mean you were too drunk to say no!"
"No. I wasn't drunk enough to say no." Arthur repeated his words, calm and composed. Francis seemed about to explode but he calmed himself and let out a heavy sigh, dropping back in his seat and face palming.
"Why? God Why? Why him? Little Master … I really can't protect you if you do that! He's no good! He's going to break your heart just like last time and …"
"Last time was equally my fault."
"You know that this is not the point! He … I didn't know he had …"
"Well, I guess at the time you didn't have that little pact with your pals yet." Arthur chuckled dryly as he remembered his past marriage to the Spanish Crown. He remembered how furious he was and how hateful of his Queen he had been. He also vented off his hatred and anger towards the Spaniard he grew to hate more than anyone. And Antonio … had been just as selfish as he always is.
"You're all selfish bastards, the three of you …" Arthur mumbled quietly, but Francis still heard him.
"So selfish, deciding things like that on your own without considering us … It's as selfish as stealing a heart with no intention of giving it back after breaking it." Arthur laughed.
Francis suddenly understood what Arthur had been through all this time. He never thought his cute little brother had been silently keeping those feelings to himself. And all the while … Francis wonders, had Ludwig and Lovino also been hiding from them?
"I'm sorry … But I still can't accept this." Francis shook his head.
"You don't need to. Because it's not your decision to make. I'm in equal rights to be selfish about things as you are, Big Brother!" Arthur smiled with a malicious gleam in his emerald eyes.