When she opens her eyes, she finds a pair of big blue eyes staring at her.
"This bed is too small for the both of us," she reveals.
"I'll go back to my bed. What time is it?"
Zahra looks at the clock, "Just after two, in the morning."
"Go, back to sleep," Gemma kisses her forehead, and turns, to leave.
She feels a hand on her shoulder, as she sits up, on the edge of the bed, "Don't go."
She turns, and studies the face, begging her not to leave. A pair of sad, sleepy eyes stare back at her.
"Ok," she agrees.
She pulls the cover back over them, as she situates herself. Zahra rolls over, to face the wall. Gemma stares at the back of her head, in silence. She lies in the dark, staring at the back of her head, for a while. She listens to her breathing, making sure that she's ok. She moves, a centimeter, when she thinks that Zahra has fallen asleep.
"Don't leave me," a voice insists, sounding incredibly small.
She brushes Zahra's hair, off her face, and tucks it behind her ear. She feels her eyes welling up with tears. She swallows hard, and replies.
"I'm not going anywhere."
"Neither am, I," Zahra counters.
"Zahra, I am sorry, that I am not the mother that you have needed me to be."
"I just needed a mother."
"And I haven't been there for you."
"You have, just not enough."
"I know."
"Gemma?"
"Don't call me that," Gemma warns.
"Mom, you know that you can't protect me, from the whole world, right?"
"Rationally, yes."
"But?"
"Mothers are not always rational. Sometimes, they have to be, completely irrational, and unreasonable, when it comes to protecting their children."
"You can't lock me away, forever."
"I could try."
"Do you think that would work?"
"You're too much like me, for that to work."
"I know."
"Go to sleep."
"Why? I don't have anywhere to be in the morning, do I?"
"No, I guess not."
"What time are you going to work, tomorrow?"
"I'm not."
"I'll be fine."
"Zahra, I'm not leaving you home alone."
"I'll be fine."
"No."
"Then you can take me with you."
"And how will I explain that?"
"You don't owe anyone an explanation."
"They will ask."
"Just lie. You're good at it."
"I don't want to lie."
"You have lied about me, my entire life, why stop now?"
"I do not lie about you."
"You just leave out the fact that I exist. What is the difference?"
"I guess that there isn't much of one."
"Why can't you just tell the truth?"
"Because I would die, if anything ever happened to you."
"Nothing is going to happen to me. I am not easy to get rid of."
"Go to sleep, my love."
"What are the consequences, if I don't?"
"I'll let you clean Clay's bike."
"I don't think I should touch his bike."
"Smart girl," a voice chimes in, from the doorway.
"What are you doing up?" Gemma questions.
"You never came back to bed."
"Go back to bed, I'm going to stay in here, with her, tonight."
"Ok," he agrees. He steps into the room. He kisses Gemma, and then Zahra. "Night girls."
"Night," Zahra says, as he leaves the room.
Gemma listens, as he walks down the hallway, to their room. When she's sure that he's out of ear reach, she turns to Zahra.
"What about Owen?"
"What about him?"
"He has been your father, your entire life."
"He's not my father."
"He has raised you. You can't just cut him out of your life. You owe him more than that."
"I do not owe him anything. You are the one, who owes him," Zahra reminds her.
"I owe him everything. If he wants to see you, I won't stop him."
"He won't."
"What makes you think that?"
"He's having his own kid."
"What are you talking about?"
"He, and his partner, are having a baby, through a surrogate."
"Why didn't you tell me that?"
"It doesn't matter."
"Zahra, go to sleep, we can talk in the morning."
"Ok," she relents.
Zahra eventually falls asleep. Gemma lies in bed, next to her, and watches her as she sleeps.
"I'm sorry," she whispers, before closing her eyes. Before she falls asleep, she remember a scene, from years ago.
She steps through the door. She finds a little girl, playing with dolls, on the floor of the living room. She smiles, and says her name.
"Zahra."
The blue-eyed girl turns, and looks at her. She stares at her, in anger. She shakes her head, and folds her arms, across her little chest.
"Go, away!"
"Zahra," she steps closer.
Zahra stands up, "No, go away!"
Gemma gets on the floor, she rests on her knees, to be at eye level with the little girl. She wraps her arms around her, hugging her close, smelling her freshly washed hair.
"No," she tries to hit her.
"Zahra."
"You said you wouldn't leave."
"I..."
"You left me. You lied. I hate you. Go away," she screams, through tears.
"Zahra, I had to go."
"Go! Go, now!" the four year old screams at her. She pushes her away.
Gemma watches, as she runs off. Her white dress, and long hair trail behind her, as she runs up the stairs.
The tears come, before sleep does.