I found my way Home

February 17th 1676

I awoke close to night fall and started to get our clothing for the night in order, making sure not to wake Paige until we were ready to leave. Sitting in front of the mirror in the room I had begun dressing for the night ahead when my reflection had caught my eye.

My pale skin, dark locks framing my face, high check bones and red lips were the features that make me beautiful but they were also the features of someone I did not know, my hair came from my mother along with my brown eyes but the shape of my face, my lips, nose and even the dimples in my checks when I smiled all belong to man I did not know.

I had never gave much thought to my father but as I grew older and my features morphed into that of a young woman I found myself wishing I had known the man who I looked so much alike.

Lucy had hated me for reminding her of him, I had been 9 years old when I had finally asked my uncle to tell me about him one night as he combed my hair out.

"Little Lady what is tonight's topic ?" he smiled down at me

"my father" I whispered, he sighed

"very well little lady, his name was Carlisle Cullen he came from the city wishing to start a life of his own away from his father, he was a very religious man if I remember correctly." he took a deep breath and began on my hair

"he turned up at the beginning of summer looking for work, he asked for very little and was very hard working. He was a tall man, very handsome with blue eyes and blonde hair, I am sure that any fine painter would have took much pleasure in having him as a study" he laughed

"your handsome uncle" I smiled at him as I wiggled round

"why thank you little lady" he smiled and turned me back to face forward

"when he worked along side your mother I saw the looks he gave her and the the way his body seemed to gravitate towards hers, it did not take me by surprise when she would sneak out alone to see him. I should have been very angry with her she was still a young woman and my responsibility and yet I had every faith that he was a man of honour and would respect your mother"

He pulled me up onto his knee as he finished braiding my hair and I snuggled into his side waiting for him to continue

"I knew she had fallen for him and he for her but nothing could have prepared me for when I awoke one morning to find your mother gone, she left a simple note for myself with nothing but 2 words, forgive me, I felt my heart break at the idea that my younger sister was gone, we had always been together and I feared for her alone in the world without myself to protect her. I am ashamed to say when I heard Carlisle starting his work in the barn I became so very angry, he must have hurt her or upset her to make her run from her home, from me, I attacked him I can not recall the words I said to him but I do remember that he never lifted his hands to defend himself he took all I gave him until my anger ran out and I was nothing but a broken man, he waited till I was calm before talking to me, I remember his exact words 'Have I offended you sir ?' he did not understand why I had attacked him and then I understood he did not know she was gone and I knew I was about to break his heart"

I felt a tear run down my check and uncle heard my sniffle, leaning down to kiss my check and smiled softly

"I sat him down and explained that my sister had run away and the moment I saw his face I knew his world had just fallen down around his feet and he same as I was a broken man. He stayed with me on the farm until the fall came and there would be no work to keep his mind busy but the time that I had know would come came and he wished to leave. Your mother leaving broke his heart and his soul and he said he would return to his father, he joined me for a meal that night before leaving, he left with nothing but my thanks and a letter he left for your mother if she ever returned"

My father had loved my mother and she had loved him, so I was created out of love and I smiled a little

My uncle left my side for a few moment and returned with a small folded piece of paper he handed it to me as he joined me

"the letter he left for your mother, he would not mind his daughter reading it" he smiled at me, I opened the letter and starred at the worlds

I could read but my father has very curly writing and I can not understand it

"shall I read it for you" my uncles whispered, nodding I handed him the letter

"My Dear Sweet Lucy, do not know why you have left me here alone, I fear my actions may have pushed you from me, but I trust you would not do so unless you thought it was right

My heart is breaking without you my love, this farm holds to many memories of you so I intend to return home, I can not love another as I have you so a life in service of my Lord is my path

Know that I will forever love you and I hold true to my vows to you and god

Be safe, Be happy, Yours forever, Carlisle"

I was crying before Uncle finished, I wanted to know my father if he had loved my mother so much, he would love me also wouldn't he ?

"would my father have loved me ?" I cried

"I have no doubt that your father would have adored you more than I do and that is impossible to beat" uncle whispered to me "there is much of Carlisle in you little lady, you have his smile and the little dimple when he did, his eyes are your but with your mothers colour but most of all I see Carlisle in you for the way you wear your heart on your sleeve" he smiled

How can my heart be on my sleeve, would that not mean I would bleed and pass away, uncle must have seen the confusion on my face as his laugh shocked me slightly

"dear it means you care so much, you love with your whole heart" he smiled

"I love you Uncle" I smiled and kissed his check

"and I adore you Little Lady" he whispered

I smiled as I sat and pinned my hair up, my uncle had loved to call me Little Lady ever since I had been 2 years old. I continued to look at the girl in my reflection and noticed the large brown orbs starring back at me, they were filled with so much hardship that I wanted to cry I had never sat long enough to notice how much my eyes had lost there brightness and I do not mean the colour, they belonged to a girl who had lost love over the years.

I longed to be the smart, happy little girl I was and only hoped I could find her somewhere on that little farm and my heart called to me that Michael would be my answer to finding that little girl.

Once I was ready I awoke Paige she was in a cheerful mood and seemed to have a sparkle in her eye, she smiled as she dressed and as the dark sky fully took control we were ready to leave.

The Beautiful woman who's name I still did not know made sure Andrew was ready to leave and I paid her for the room, making sure to leave extra for the 'gift' she had given us, to which the remain bottle was in our basket in case Paige needed it. The night was colder then the last had been but we set off into the dark with smiles on our faces.

I knew we were close to the farm as I rode through the small town we used to travel to to sell uncles fruit that grew on the trees. I could hear the water from the river in which we would play in and I could smell the lavender fields that grew across the river form us.

Paige insisted on sitting up beside me as we made the finale part of our journey she was very nervous but continued to smile and I could feel the happiness coming from her.

The sun began to rise as we pulled onto the long path that lead to the farm house, as we got closer I could see that uncle was up for the day, he never did like to sleep later then sunrise.

I could see the candle light in the windows and smiled

"its beautiful" Paige whispered beside me

"this is home" I smiled and took her hand in mine, Andrew walked steady in the deep snow and I was so pleased at how well of a walker he had proven to be.

My uncle must have heard the cart coming as the door to the house opened to reveal a tall man standing there waiting for us to get closer, he did not seem to be on alert so he knew there was no threat.

"what is your business here ?" he called out to us as I pulled Andrew to a stop, I did not reply as I felt the lump on my throat grow, he sounded so very tired.

I took a deep breath and steadied myself as I jumped down from the cart, lifting my skirt as I walked and I turned to face uncle unsure if he has seen myself yet, would he know it was me, did he remember me

"Can I help you Miss ?" he called, I was still a few feet from him and knew he could not see me very clear

"I should hope so" I whispered and slowly moved forward

"Lucy ?" his breath came out in a gust of relief and it made me pause, he thought I was my mother and he was relieved would he be upset when I told him that I had left his younger sister in London to care for herself

"No Uncle" I whispered when I finally found my voice and I saw his face change and watched as his hand grabbed the frame to hold himself up

"Little Lady" he gasped and waited for me to reply

"yes Uncle" I smiled at hearing the love in his voice and I could see the smile on his face

His hand slipped and he lost balance falling to his knees and I heard his chest heave as tears broke free of him, I hurried to his side sitting down and placing my hands in his but his body still shock with sobs

"I am home" I smiled

"I always hoped you would return to me" he sobbed into my hair as he pulled me to his chest

"I never stopped hoping" his voice was barely a whisper but I heard him

"my home is here, with you" I smiled

"she took you from me" his words broke my heart, all these years I had known Lucy had taken a part of me away but I had never aloud myself to think about what she had done to my uncle in fear that it would break my heart and I would not be able to bare with it

"I am sorry it took me so long to find my way home" I sighed and he pulled back to look at me, his hands on either side of my face and he smiled

"Never apologise, you came home that's all that matters to me" he smiled and kissed my check

it was then I heard the sound of feet coming our way and I knew instantly that he would remember me, I turned from uncles hold to face my old friend and I could not stop the tears

He looked older and is coat was more grey, he paused unsure of me

"hello Daisy" I whispered as he came to me, his head instantly in my lap and I had never realised just truly how much I had missed the boy, I ran my fingers through his coat and smiled I could feel his heat against my hand

"he has waited for you" my uncles voice pulled me from my thoughts, I looked up at him and smiled, finally I was home where I belonged and it felt amazing to see my uncle and feel the love from him and Daisy, they had not forgot about me

"Willow" Paige's small voice made me feel terrible that I had been so caught up in my happiness that I had forgotten my friend, I stood and turned to face her she had tears in her eyes but a smile on her lips. Taking her hand I helped her from the cart and smiled

"are you ready ?" I whispered

"yes" she nodded and squeezed my hand, we slowly made our way over to my uncle who stood smiling at us both

"Uncle this is Paige, my best friend and adopted sister" I smiled and I felt Paige giggle beside me, I saw the worry in my uncles eyes when he looked at Paige seeing how pale and weak she looked there was no doubt in my mind that he knew she was not well

He took her hand in both of his and lean to kiss her check

"welcome to the family, Miss Paige" he smiled and I could not contain my happiness that uncle had accepted Paige into our home

"come inside" he smiled took Paige's arm helping her through the home chatting slowly as he did, I followed behind with Daisy at my side, closing the door I took a moment to look around me the little home had not changed since the day I left however there was a new painting that hung in the hall, I walked closer and gasped when I noticed my own childhood face starring back at me but that was not all a young Michael was at my side, with a smiling Uncle behind us both.

I jumped slightly when I felt uncle's hand on my shoulder

"beautiful is it not ?" he smiled, I could only nod

"Mrs Blackwood painted it when you left, she decided I needed a reminder of the happy times" he smiled and pattered my hand as he headed back into the room where Paige sat

I took a moment more to look at the painting and smiled, it truly was a perfect image of Michael she had captured the playfulness and such happiness in his grey eyes.

I walked into the reading room to find Uncle and Paige sitting chatting she was telling him about our journey.

"Paige would you like tea ?" I smiled and headed into the kitchen when she nodded, I could hear them chatting as I waited for the water to boil over

"Dear do you mind if ..." my uncle broke off unsure of how to approach the subject, I heard Paige laugh softly

"do not worry you can not offend me" I could hear the sad smile in her voice "I met Willow in the bar we worked at and she always showed me great kindness and over time she became my best friend and the only person I could remotely call family, I am an orphan of London but she treated me like she would treat anyone"

"Willow always was the most caring girl I ever knew" My uncle muttered

"There was a gentlemen that Willow did not trust, he wanted her attention and she would not give me so one night I bid goodnight to her and left. It was cold and snowing so I did not notice when he crept up behind me and pulled me into the alley way"

I heard Uncle gasp and knew he understood what had happened, I began to pour the tea and listened as I did so

"I will not go into detail but before the man was able to finish what he intended Willow saved me and I will always be grateful for her, she took me home and cared for me the best she could but there was nothing she could have done, the man gave me some form of infection when he attacked me and it will lead to my death, I am already very weak and fear I will not see another snow fall but Willow gave me a family and a home"

I walked into the room with the tea, my uncle sat with tears in his eyes and Paige smiled at me

"She saved me in more ways then one that night" she smiled as she took my hand

"well dear if you are family to Willow then you are family to me, you have a home here and we will take care of you" Uncle smiled and he took her other hand.

Tears ran down my checks as I sat with family and I truly knew we were safe, loved and nothing would stop me from protecting Paige until the moment she closes her eyes for the last time.

…...

We sat for a short time simply talking about the farm and what uncle had been doing over the past years but before long I could see that Paige was once again tired and knew she could use a nights rest in a warm comfortable bed

"Paige would you like to rest ?" I smiled, she nodded so taking her hand I helped her up to my old room and helped her undress

"your uncle is very sweet" she smiled

"yes he is" I smiled back in returned as I helped her get comfortable under the blankets

"I really have a home" she sighed sleepily

"you do, with me" I smiled and kissed for forehead good bye before leaving her, I left the door open a touch before heading back to my uncle.

He had made more tea as I sat down he handed me a cup and returned to his seat

"I can not express how grateful I am that you have return to me" he smiled

"I always intended to come home it simply took a little longer then I though" I laughed

"Willow" he took a deep breath and leaned into his seat

"would you tell me where you have been ?" he whispered, he did not wish to push me but he wanted to know

So sipping at my tea and taking a deep breath I began my story

"I cried the entire journey to London, Lucy continued to promise over and over that London would be good for her and that it was the start of a new life, but even then I knew she did not care for me, she had said so herself, it would be a good for her, not I but her" I sighed

"when we arrived she hired a small room above a meat shop, there was 2 back rooms but the walls where old and broken and the rooms were cold. Yet she remain happy that we where here, she said she would get a job and provide for us but things did not go to plan" I stopped myself not knowing how to explain to my uncle that his younger sister had become a night walker, a women with no respect for herself that she sold her body and sole to men for money. Would I cause him pain could I lie and say she got sick and that is why I had to provide for us, would he believe me if I did so

"Willow do not hide anything from me" he whispered taking my hand, seeing the worry on my face

"nothing you say will harm me, more than the day she stole you from my life"

"she did try to find a job, a honest job" I lied "but she could not and she eventually found work as a night walker" I swallowed the lump in my throat

"she sold herself for money" he muttered to himself looking down at his hand "she did not try to find honest work did she ?" he looked into my eyes and although I did not answer him he knew the truth

"continue" he sighed

"She became so dependant on those men to provide her with a break from reality, they would often beat her and treat her like a whore and I was there to clean her wounds and take care of her but she forgot I was there many times, the first night I was forced from the home into the cold but the more it happened the less she cared" I felt a tear run down my check

"it was not long before men stopped paying her for her service and the little money she did receive went on providing her alcohol so I knew I needed to find a way to provide for myself. I found a bar that hired me and a lovely lady Miss Ella cared for us, but it was hard work and my body suffered for some time until I got stronger. We worked serving the men and it came with the insults, comments and propositions they gave us but I needed money so I continued to work"

I sipped the remainder of my tea

"you should never have been in the position to need to provide for yourself" my uncle snapped, he was so very angry then a thought popped into his head and he jumped to his feet

"they never …. no one ever ….. you were not ...please" he could not find the words to ask and after a few moment I knew what he was asking did I ever share a bed with the men

"Uncle no, I never allowed it" I sighed and watched as he calmed slightly

"there were girls who did but I never did, and Paige neither" he nodded and I knew I had his attention again

"I worked there every night and saved my money, I began to hiding it from Lucy as she would steal what she could, soon I did not give a thought to the work I simply went through the motions and Lucy continued to go down a dark path, the men she returned home with got more darker and they would treat her worse than the last but she became nothing but a shell, she held no love in her and there was most certainly no love for me. Paige and Miss Ella became my only friends whilst in London." I smiled at the thought of the woman that had saved both myself and Paige

"Miss Ella was the kindest woman I have met, she loved the girls that worked for her and she did everything she could possibly have done to protect us like she did Paige and I. However some girls did not have as much luck as us and were left with no choice but to accompany men to their beds, and some very young girls did not recover"

"did your mother not try to protect you at all ?" my uncle whispered I knew he was finding it hard to hear what his sister had become and how she had treated me

"no, she knew she would eventually lead herself into her death but she did not care she simply wanted everything and anything that could dull her pain and alcohol and men became that"

I took a much needed breath this was the moment my uncle would see what I had become also what I had done in that alley way that night, what I would never be able to forget for as long as I lived

"The night Paige was attacked that monster had propositioned me again, and like every time before I turned him away, I bid Paige goodnight and continued my work, it was not long before I to headed out into the night on my way home before I left Miss Ella handed me gold coins claiming them to be a gift from the gentlemen I was confused and thought possibly he had mistaken me for another, before I made it I heard a girl scream and I could not simply walk away and not try to help if I could"

tears were openly running down my face and my throat was thick with tears, uncle took my hands and held them tightly

"I hid behind the wall and saw as he attacked the young girl and I knew I needed to help her and then I saw that it was Paige who crying and looking like a broken doll, I could not have walked away uncle, I could not" I sobbed

"you my strong Little Lady did the right thing, you saved that girl from a fate she did not deserve"

"I found something to hit him with so I could get her away, and I crept up on him whilst he has attacking my friend he heard me and told me to leave that 'he had paid me for this whore' and then I knew the gold coins where from him, he had paid me to attack and rape my friend" I could not continue the tears over took me and I broke down in my uncles arms sobbing

"you did nothing wrong my dear" he whispered

"you saved that young girl" but I could not listen to his words he did not know, he did not know I was a monster, I had killed a man, I had used my own hands to take his life

"I ….. Killed …... Him" I sobbed and heard my uncle gasp, I buried my head in his chest and sobs racked through my body "I killed a man" I whispered

I felt his hands on my face as he lifted it to look into my eyes, I tried to pull away ashamed but he would not let me

"you listen to me Willow May, you did nothing wrong you saved a young girls life and rid this world of a terrible monster, he deserved what he got and I only wish he had died before he had the chance to harm that beautiful young girl"

"but I killed him, I am a monster" I gasped

"no, never you are no monster you are a beautiful angel and you protected your friend, no one would have done any different, you hear me"

I knew I could not argue with my uncle he would not see it the way I did so I simply nodded

"tell me what happened" he whispered still sitting with me wrapped in his arms on the floor

"I could not control my anger and I hit him, and continued to hit him till I felt Miss Ella stop me, she had found us and seen what I did but she did not leave me she forced me to pull myself together and we hid the body and once all was hidden she helped me get Paige to my room"

"I would like to thank this Miss Ella one day, she protected you like your mother should have and I will forever be in her debt for the deed she did that night in saving you both"

I nodded trying to stop the tears and drying my face

"We got Paige inside and I bathed her and cleaned her wounds, I stayed with her while slept and I knew that she was in pain but I tried to help by simply being with her" I sighed knowing I had helped but not as much as she had needed

"I sat that night thinking of my life and everything that happened, the man I had killed I did not regret that he was dead the idea that he had lived and hurt another girl like Paige would have killed me soul but I hated that it had been by my hand that he had died, then I heard the clock tower and thought happy birthday" I had not meant to say the last part but it had simply slipped out, my uncles head snapped up and looked at me

"this happened on your birthday ?" I nodded and he sighed

"I am so very sorry Willow, I should have stopped her from talking you that night, I should have fought harder"

I smiled sadly

"as much as I hated my life in London, I would not have met Paige and I would not have been there to save her that night and I could not bare the thought of what would have happened"

"yes" he nodded "there is more ?" I nodded and continued

"I cared for Paige the best I could, working to make sure I could buy food and Miss Ella often gave me coins and all the help I needed but I knew she was not getting well. Miss Paige accompanied me home after finished work one night so she could check on Paige. Lucy confronted me that night and it ended in a nasty words being spoken and I struck her" I glanced at him shyly from under my lashes

"do not look so shy, the woman you told me she had become is not my sister I do not regret that you defended yourself, I am proud" he smiled

"Miss Ella told me that Paige had caught a decease the night he attacked her, I think she called it syphilis but I can not be sure. It is slowly eating away at her body and she will not recover. She puts on a brave face for me but I can see the pain and fear in her eyes"

I knew she would die but talking about it made it impossible to not think about it and I was scared for her, but most of all I did not want to lose her

"I can not imagine your pain Little Lady" mu uncle whispered and smiled but I could see he was upset at the idea of such a young girl losing her life

"we will care for her and try to give her a very peaceful and loving remainder to her life dear" he smiled and I nodded

"The night I decided I was coming home and bringing Paige home with me was the night Lucy returned home with new man and I finally saw that she was never going to change, on some level inside me I had always hoped she would recover and become the mother I dreamt about and she would realise her mistake and we would come home together but I knew that it would not happen if I wanted to return to you I needed to do so without her" I smiled

"Miss Ella helped me, she made so many arrangements and prepared us for the journey ensuring we had food and water for the travel, and the night we left she again helped me get Paige ready and she bid us farewell with a request that I write to her often"

"I would very much like to include my own letter when you do send to her" he smiled and I knew as soon as I had talked of my fondness for Miss Ella that he would personally like to thank her

"The journey here was quiet and very simple, we stayed in rooms when we needed but I stayed awake as much as possible simply wanted to be home" I smiled my uncle pulled me into his arms once more

"I prayed every night for your return" he whispered and this time I had no chance of stopping the tears that broke free, I cried for everything I had lost, everything I had been through.

I cried for the happiness I felt now and for the pain I knew was going to come in the passing months.

My uncle held me as I cried whispering words of comfort and support to me but I did not listen to his words I simply took the comfort that I need from his embrace and the love I felt from him.

I do not know how long we remained sitting on the floor whilst I cried but soon I yawn as my eyes grew heavy

I felt uncles laugh rumble through his chest

"you must be tired dear, go rest I will wake you for food" he smiled and kissed my check, I could have gone to lay in my uncles room or even my mothers old room but I wished to be close to Paige so undressing and sliding in beside her I took her hand in mine and smiled

"I Love you Willow" Paige whispered beside me, and repeating my uncles words I smiled

"and I adore you Paige" with that I fell into a very peaceful sleep.