(Disclaimer; I do not own Victorious. Oh! Also, I've been so hesitant in uploading this chapter due to the fact that I don't know what the response is going to be. But I got this idea from something I saw a long time ago and it really seems like a Jade-like thing to do. I hope I went in the right direction - you'll know what I'm talking about when you read it-. Let me know if you hate it and want something different, even though it'll only be happening in this chapter and maybe one another way in the future)

This chapter is dedicated to the reviewer: Trance Starr. Just cause her review made me giggle and grow the balls to post this chapter ;)

Cause she's bittersweet;

Jade West;

He didn't stop me.

I normally had trouble keeping it together, that I could admit. I could remember my life before I met Beck, and it was bleak. I was always angry, and more than that, I kind of … talked to myself. Now don't get me wrong, I wasn't crazy or anything. It's just that when I was younger I couldn't deal with my Dad ignoring me, and my Mom throwing herself into her work to ignore her bad marriage, leaving me alone for most of the day. It was hard for a child to grasp and deal with correctly, whereas as now I don't give a flying shit, before it was all I could give flying shits about. It seemed like my delicate psych came up with a way to keep my mind off of my daily abandonment as a kid.

Anyways, it kicks back in times of duress, ergo – now. I was walking home from the school and as I cut through the park a blur of color caught my eye. I walked over and tugged the string that was hanging from the unidentified object. I heard a thwack and when I looked down and saw a colorful kite in weird angles and realized it was broken, like me.

Just like me.

When my haze cleared, I was under the shade of a tree, hugging the kite tightly to my chest and drowning myself in the musings of – well, my other self.

Well, THAT was interesting.

Please shut up, I feel shitty enough as it is.

No, I don't think I will, actually – let's run the last hour back. A little montage if you will.

I don't agree with this plan.

WELL, TOUGH SHIT. YOU JUST BROKE UP WITH OUR BOYFRIEND.

He was being an ass.

You weren't exactly a ray of sunshine either. Hush now, the movie is starting.

And it really was like a movie was playing in my head, I watched in a detached manner as I walked up towards Beck and tapped him on his shoulder. I held my breath as he spun around and sighed as he saw me and brushed his hair away from his face. I gulped before I steeled myself and chuckled nonchalantly, "Heyyy, you know, about earlier, I might've jumped the gun just a bit, but you know how I am, right?"

He cleared his throat softly as he looked down at the ground and then back up at me, "Yes Jade, I know exactly how you are."

I breathed a sigh of relief, "So we're good?"

"No, I don't think so. I can't handle this right now Jade."

I inhaled deeply and kept the tears at bay as an emotionless expression took purchase on my face.

" Oh, okay. See you around then." I turned swiftly and my hair flew behind me as I stalked off, looking like I was perfectly at ease.

And the crowd goes wild.

It was a solid performance, the flick of the hair as you spun away really made it believable.

Thanks.

I give it a seven.

I'll take it.

I shook my head and lifted myself up off the grass and ignored the wetness in my eyes. As I look at the kite cradled in my arms, my tears started flowing, and wouldn't stop. Through my bleary vision I had managed to end up at Tori's doorstep.

What the fuck are you doing here?

I-I don't know.

TURN BACK! Go home, we can relax with a nice pair of scissors and some old pictures of Beck.

Yeah your right, Let's g-

Suddenly the door swung open, "Jade?"

My brain lost its connection to my mouth and in what felt like the blink of an eye I was bawling into Tori's throw pillow.

I went home that night and didn't sleep at all.

Beck Oliver;

"Enter."

Beck didn't know why Tori was at his place so late at night, but hell, he kind of wanted to find out. He needed a distraction, he kept thinking about Jade and how she's handling all of this and he knew it wasn't well.

After a minute of mindless chatter, he was beginning to think this nighttime visit didn't actually have a point when –

"Hey man, why don't you get back together with Jade? You know what I'm sayin'? Yeahhh."

…

What?

"I should get back together with Jade?"

"Uh-huh."

This was certainly different.

"…Why?"

"Because, she's- you know, … awesome."

Okay something is definitely going on here –

"Guess what?

'"What?" Tori asked. I decided to tell her what I had told myself.

"I'm glad Jade and I broke up."

I just, you know, had to keep repeating it to myself, a lot.

"Why?!" Tori whined and I had to keep myself from laughing for a second, Tori defending Jade? This was so fucking warped.

"Because I can't remember the last time she did one nice thing for me."

That was why, right?

Right.

"Oh come on! Didn't you just have a birthday? She didn't give you anything for your birthday?"

And just to drive the point home …

"She got me a can of lemonade."

And that was all; Tori sighed as if she knew she was fighting a losing battle, said goodbye, and promptly left as I was left to ponder our conversation. I had hoped Tori's mindless chatter would occupy my mind with other things but that hope dies when she mentioned Jade's name. Tori was helping Jade in regards to me, but why? Had Jade asked Tori for help? … No, that wasn't it. I actually did laugh at that thought before the image of Jade's expressionless face flashed through my mind and I was once again replaying the events of the day in my head.

I mean, at first I had let Jade walk off because it wouldn't have done us any good to argue when we were both as livid as we were. It would've made things worse, she stomped off and I honestly thought she just needed some down time. After she had cut enough shit up she would come back, forcefully wrap my arm around her shoulder and snuggle in. But she didn't and I that gave me time to think about us.

And they weren't good thoughts.

How could she break up with me when she was so insecure about me breaking up with her?! It didn't make any sense and it wasn't fair in the least. Didn't she think it would hurt me just as it would hurt her? No, of course she didn't think that. She didn't think of me when she made that decision. But then again, did I really expect any different?

When I started thinking about it, I realized that the answer to that question was 'no'. With that realization came the ring of my text message alert. As I look at Alyssa's glowing name on my screen I had to think that maybe things weren't as good between us as I thought. So I called Alyssa and made plans for the next day.

I had barely gotten a glimpse of Jade in the outside eating area before she had stormed off. A few hours later I was in the hallway gathering my books from my locker when I felt a timid tap on my shoulder. I spun and was face to face with Jade. As we talked I just got more and more fed up, she thought I would just let it go, but I wouldn't – no, I couldn't.

Her face was blank and as she walked away her posture screamed 'casual' but I knew better.

And now here I was, standing by my decision.

Jade West;

The next day found Tori and I in my sacred Janitor's closet.

"You mean like make him fresh lemonade?!"

"If you want Beck back you're going to have to think bigger than beverages!"

Oh, oh I know, what about-

"A DOG!"

"OK! If you're gonna be rude.."

Ugh, she's so dumb. Why did you come to her for help again?

…She's too nice to say no?

… good point.

And then it was decided, if Beck wanted a dog, then a dog he will get.

Later that night as Tori and I crept along the side of Beck's RV my head was quite a mess.

I'm somehow starting to think this isn't such a good idea anymore.

WHAT?! But you said-

"What's going on?!" Tori asked in panic as noises started emerging from the RV, and not pleasant noises at that.

"I-I don't know!"

Shit shit shit shit shit!

Called it.

"WHAT IS GOING ON?!"

"AHHH!"

"BECKKK!"

Hahahahahahahaha … HA , this shit it hilarious.

Not the time, not the time. What do I do? What do I do?

Is this repetition malfunction you seem to have acquired going to be an ongoing thing? If so I might have to find someone else's mind to chill out in for a few days.

STAY, you have to help me!

Alright, shhhhh so I can think.

The calm whisper in my head helped me center myself as Beck's father was loaded into the ambulance.

"Hey, you in college yet?" The blonde EMT asked as she leered at Beck and ran a hand down his arm.

Jade, don't-

"BYE!" I sneered as I grabbed Beck and tugged him closer to me.

I don't think laying a claim on him is going to make him feel all fuzzy inside as he watches his dad ride away to the hospital.

I know but I just-

Beck tore his arm away from me as he turned to walk off and I panicked.

Uh-oh someone's angry! Quick, don't let him get away, SAY SOMETHING! ANYTHING! BECK!

I-uh-

"Tori told me to get you a dog!"

"DUDE!"

NOT THAT! Playing the blame game ain't gonna help you now!

What do I say?! He's looking at me like I'm the worst person ever! He's gonna leave me!

JUST TALK!

"OK! It was kinda my idea but I-I didn't think the dog would bug out like that. I-I just wanted you to have a dog because I know you've talked about getting one ever since I met you and I thought that maybe-"

Annnndddd…. You're rambling! Oh! And he's kissing us!

Shhhhh!

I savored the feeling his lips on my own as his warm hands cupped my elbows and brought me closer. My mouth molded under his as he leaned into me and I breathed in his scent. God he smells delicious. Like a musky woody scent with some sweet undertone … fuck – I don't even know. He just smelled like a man, my man. He pulled away and I fought not to whimper in his departure.

"You love me again…?"

Well, no shit.

"Who said I stopped?" A warmth flushed through me.

I love him.

I do too.

"Awwwweee!"

-the fuck?

" I ruined the moment."

Be nice! She helped.

… whatever.

"It's cool and I really do owe you."

Good enough?

I suppose, you may proceed to snog our boyfriend.

I turned back to Beck with a smile as I leaned into him. His mouth opened up under mine and I sighed in comfort as his tongue caressed mines.

I hope you know Tori is talking to us.

What now?

She wants to know if you'll drive her home cause it's late.

Psssh, yeah right. Get lost.

"It's not that far a walk!"

As I melted back into Beck and his slid around me I kind of felt like-

Purrrrrrr.

…Are you purring?

Only on the inside, atleast, I think.

It counts, stop it.

"Babe, it's kinda hard to kiss you when you're mumbling and purring," Beck said with a chuckle as he pulled away and I froze. At my expression Beck froze as well for a moment before a serious expression he grabbed my hand and walked me into his RV, shutting the door behind us.

Beck Oliver;

I sat on my bed with my back to the wall as I dragged Jade down onto my lap sideways. A bright blush was on her cheeks and laid a palm against the warmth of her cheek and tilted her head up so she can meet my gaze.

"Did- did the um – talking in your head start again?" I asked warily.

Jade nodded and looked down like she was ashamed, but I wasn't having any of that. I love every part of Jade, whether she does nice things for me or not. She didn't have the best upbringing, and it had an adverse effect on her. But she's still beautiful, still mine. She started mumbling again and I always knew which was which.

"thinks I'm crazy … does not … loves you …quiet …. have to …about… this… why…rather not"

I buried my head in her neck and took a deep breath to center myself before I pulled back and tilted her head up once again.

"Talk to me baby" I whispered softly and she sighed and pressed her mouth against mines before pulling back and blinking her eyes open slowly.

"I'm sorry. It happens sometimes, you know that. I thought I hid it well, I mean, you didn't notice after that incident happened when you kissed tori."

"It happened then?" I asked confused.

"Well, yeah. But not much while you were around, I wasn't really in the mood to talk to you – in any way."

I nodded in understanding and shifted her so she straddled me, "What triggered it this time?"

"tell him … no…hurt…feel…needs…know..but…now…" She tensed as she mumbled and I ran my hand down the length of her soft hair and shushed her softly.

"I found a broken kite on the walk home after you turned me down," She said lowly and my heart clenched.

"Jade-"

"Why? …Why?"

"I love you Jade, always. But you aren't always the easiest to handle. But when we're like this, right now, I remember why you and I are perfect. I just lost sight of it in the haze of things. Everything you are, is what makes me love you, both of you." A smile graced her face.

"We love you too. Don't worry, it's okay now. " She whispered to me and I knew what she meant.

"Going to miss her?" I teased and Jade laughed, "Not in the slightest."

Jade West;

I didn't want him to know it started again, he didn't know last time. I hate when this happens, I bet he thinks I'm crazy.

He does not! He handled this perfectly well the first time he found out about it. He loves you, he loves us. We're the same person.

Be quiet already.

You have to talk to him about this. Plus it ain't like this happens often.

Why? I'd rather not.

Oh, he's asking how I came about this time.

Not answering.

Tell him!

No, it'll hurt his feelings.

He needs to know.

But…

Now.

…

I wonder why he rejected you.

Yeah, you and I both. Why?

Why seems like a reasonable question. I agree, why?

…

I told you he loves you.

He loves you too.

I know, till next time.

Yeah, till next time.

Beck Oliver;

Jade said she had enough with the talking and tangled her hands in my hair as she slanted her mouth across mines. I groaned and placed my hands on her ass and shifted her forward on my lap.

"Fuck, why are we still wearing clothes?!" Jade grunted as she pulled away from and stripped of the layers covering her upper body as I did the same. As soon as our torso's were bare she tangled her hands in my hair again as she nudged my head towards her chest and pushed her breast up to my mouth. I laved wet kisses across her chest before licking at her nipple. She moaned and grinded helplessly into my lap as I fastened my mouth around her and sucked languidly. She lowered her mouth to my ear and whispered he love to me with a swift and precise swivel of her hips and I almost came undone.

I love her, so what if she's a little crazy.