Oh, snap, this is the last chapter besides the epilogue, then after that I will be posting my other story, Startstruck while I am on hiatus. And the hiatus is only for my postingness of stories, I will still read and review stories. And reply to messages and things. More info on this hiatus will be in the next story's A/N. I'll shut up and let you read. WAIT! Yeah, Luna Nuevo was fuckawesome. Me and my buddy are going to see it for the third time today. Ok. NOW I'll shut up. -Alice xoxo R&R.

Chapter 10

Jasper wasn't in school the next day. All I wanted was to was ask him for forgiveness. I'd beg, if that's what it took. I'd do anything.

"What's the matter?" Bella asked me during lunch as I stared at the empty seat across the table that was suppose to belong to the other member of our sixsome, which I have a feeling will go back to a fivesome.

"It's nothing," I whispered sadly, resting my head on the table. I didn't want to eat anything that say.

"It's something if your crying about it," she said. I didn't realize until she spoke that I was crying. But sure enough, the tears where dripping from my eyes.

"Can I talk you? Alone?" I said, and led her into the bathroom before she could answer.

"What's the matter?" She asked again, and that educed more tears and heavy sobs.

"Yesterday, Jasper asked me to be his girlfriend. I said yes and then we had sex… When he was driving me home he told me to tell him that I love him, but I'm not really sure if I do, so then I think he broke up with me." I sobbed. "Bella, I had sex with him." She rubbed my back as I cried.

"I'll kill him," she said sadly. "He raped my best friend."

I looked at her, my tears suddenly forgotten. "He didn't rape me, Bella. I wanted to do it. And it was amazing." I turned away from her, afraid the ridiculous tears would start over again. "He broke up with me because I don't love him. I mean, I don't think I do. I really don't know. And first he cried when I told him I didn't love him. Well, I think he did but he was denying it. Then he was all ok with it, and then after I had sex with him and I didn't tell hem he really cried. I don't really know…" Bella just listened as I went on and on.

"Do you want me to talk to him?" She asked. I shook my head.

"No, I have his number, I'll try calling him later. Maybe he's not here because he's sick or something else," I said. The bell rang then, signaling it was time to go to the next class…

I sent Jasper an email when I got home from school.

Jasper, I wrote, are you ok? I wanted to talk to you and I was worried all day. I'm really sorry I made you cry and I don't regret what we did yesterday. Will you please call me or something? I need to know if your ok. Will you be at school tomorrow? Am I still your girlfriend? - Alice

He sent a reply probably five minutes later. It consisted of one word. Maybe. Maybe? I was half tempted to throw my laptop out the window in annoyance. Instead, I picked up my phone and dialed his number. It rang three times before he answered.

"Alice?" He said. "What do you want?"

"I, uh," I started, "I missed you today. Where were you?"

"I was at home. Where'd you think I was?" His voice sounded really annoyed. I was close to hanging up on him.

"I'm sorry. I just wanted to know… are you coming to school tomorrow?" I asked.

"You did get my email didn't you? I said maybe," he was close to yelling at me. I was going to have to cut the conversation short.

"Ok. I'll leave you alone. I'm really, really sorry. For everything," I said, and again, I was dangerously close to tears.

"Alright. I'll see you sometime. Bye." That was the last thing he said before he hung up on me. I expected to cry, but I was too pissed to shed any tears. And for the second time that day, I wanted to throw something. Instead, I laid on bed and thought.

I thought about Jasper, and how I wish I knew weather or not I loved him. I thought about out date on Saturday. I thought about the day before in our meadow. About how we had sex and how…

…

I sat up straight in bed and thought. We had unprotected sex. I could get pregnant or an STD or something. I don't know how many girl's he's slept with before me.

I wanted to call him, but for one thing it was starting to get late, and second he was pissed at me when I called earlier, and third, I would much rather tell it to his face.

I was just going to have to wait until I see him again. Whenever that is.

Jasper was at school the next day. I sighed in relief when I saw him sitting at the lunch table. He didn't look at me directly. I kept giving him pleading glances, just praying that he'd talk to me.

"What?" He whispered to me eventually.

"I need to talk to you. It's important," I said quietly back to him.

He rolled his eyes and stood up. I figured he wanted me to fallow him. I got up and did so. He led me into an empty classroom.

"What?" He asked again, sort of rudely.

"I just thought that you'd like to know that on Sunday, when we… yeah. Well, what I'm trying to say is I'm not on birth control or anything. That's all," I said before leaving. Well, I tried to leave but Jasper stopped me before I could do so.

"Fuck," he said, "so your pregnant?"

"I don't know. I cant know for like another month or so."

He ran his fingers through his hair as he continued to mutter a string of profanities. Then he got this look on his face. I thought he was going to cry. "Alice. I'm thinking about going home. To Texas."

"Wh-WHAT?" I cried. "No! Please, Jasper. Don't." My voice was broken but I wasn't crying.

"Why not? You don't love me. There's no reason to stay. You are the only thing I like here," He said sadly.

"Jasper," I said softly. "It may be true that I don't love you, but that doesn't mean I don't like you. And it doesn't mean that I never will love you. You want me to fall in love with you? Fine, then make me. Do whatever it takes."

He smiled. "I'm sorry I was mean to you. I still love you, ya know," he said, smiling.

"You know how much I wish I could tell you the same."

Jasper hugged me quickly. "I'm trying to live with that. I'll change it though. I swear I'll make you fall in love with me." He kissed the top of my head.

When school got out that day, I found Edward talking to Jasper. I didn't catch most of their conversation, but I did hear Edward say, "ok, I'll come over later," before leaving. It was kind of random, probably because I didn't know most of what they were saying.

"Hey," Jasper said when he saw me. "Wanna do something?"

"Sure," I said, taking his hand and leading him out the door. We both got into my car but I didn't start it. "What are we going to do?"

"I don't know, but we can't be gone long, Edward is coming over," He said.

"Why?" I asked, tilting my head to the side.

Jasper struggled for words. "I needed help with something that I have to do. He will teach me. He's gonna have to come over a lot, it might take a while," he finally said.

"Uh, ok?" I sort of asked, and then we continued to talk for a long time.

I looked out the window. The sun was setting over the horizon and made the sky look pink, orange and purple. "It's getting late," I whispered most to myself.

"Your right, baby," he said. "I have to leave, your brother will be coming to my house soon. I love you."

"Bye," I said, leaning in to kiss him.

He got out and went towards his car, and while he drove away, I wondered what it was he needed Edward's help with….

Edward was over at Jasper's house everyday for three weeks. Yes, every day. And it kinda annoyed me because he never once told me exactly what he was doing there. They both said things similar to "he needs help with something." Yeah, but what is this something? And why did they have to keep it a secret from me?

On the one month anniversary from when I sent my first email to Jasper, he invited me over to his house. It was the first day that Edward didn't go over there in almost a month.

Jasper brought me into his room alone and shut the door, even though no one else was home; his dad was at work.

"Alright, Alice," he said, taking one of my hands in his and kissing it lightly. "I promised I would find a way for you to fall in love with me, and I think I found it." He sighed shakily, like he was nervous or something. "Edward gave me something of yours and he wanted me to give it back." He went over to the keyboard in the corner that I just now noticed was there and began playing a piece that instinctively makes my eyes fill with tears. The piece I knew all too well. The lullaby Edward had written for me so many years ago now.

The tears pricked at my eyes but I didn't fight them, I just let them fall down my cheeks slowly as he played. A few minutes later, when the song was over, he turned around to look at me and saw the wetness on my face.

"What's the matter, baby?" He asked quickly, getting up and wiping at them quickly. "I didn't mean to make you cry, sweetie."

"No, it's just that…" I covered my face with my hands for a second and breathed deeply for a second. I was suddenly aware of the emotions I didn't want to believe for the past month. It was time to accept them. I looked back up at Jasper. "I…I love you. Ok, there, I said it! I love you, I lov-"

He cut me off when his lips where on mine. "My God, Alice," he said happily when he pulled away, "you have no idea how long I've been waiting for you to say that. I love you so much."

"I love you, too," I said back. Jasper smiled.

"I love hearing you say that," he said, "and do you really mean it? Or are you just saying that to make me happy?"

"No, I love you. I really do. And I'm so sorry it took this long to realize it." I touched my lips to his one more time. 'I love you," I mouthed into the kiss.

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