Hey guys, first off I want to say a big thank you for all your awesome reviews! It inspired me so much I am able to post 2 chapters in the space of a few days when I was only aiming for one chapter a week.
Secondly, as I mentioned before, Erin will find romance again (and not with Will). Her new love interest will be introduced the next chapter. I just thought it was unrealistic to rush a new love interest for her as Jay has only been back a short while.
Thirdly, yes, Jay and Spencer will face some problems in their relationship. The problems are coming. At the moment things look perfect because well, if it wasn't sorta perfect, you'd be wondering why they want to get married.
And finally, I just want to say, in my head, Linstead are end game; not Jay and Spencer so please stick with this fic.
Please be kind and review. You guys are a great inspiration for me! I love reading your thoughts and feelings on this story.
Chapter 9
A few stray strands of moonlight filtered into Jay's bedroom through his blinds; casting light on Jay and Spencer's bodies; entangled together; amongst the bed sheets. Spencer was curled into Jay; her head softly resting in the crook between his neck and shoulder; sound asleep; her hand gently resting on his chest.
Jay however, was wide awake; his eyes focused on the scar just above Spencer's exposed left hip; the strand of moonlight casting a silver shadow over it; drawing his attention. His hand reached out; his thumb gently grazed it; stirring Spencer from her sleep.
Jay and Erin were parked up; staking out a suspect. Jay glanced over at Erin and began speaking. "So I couldn't sleep last night." He stated. Erin rolled her eyes; waiting for where he was going to take this. "So I started watching TV and there was this doctor talking about commitment phobia. He was saying it had to do with family patterns...survival instincts." Erin nodded knowingly; knowing what was coming. "You know I'm just saying..." He glanced over at Erin. "...'cause Bunny has been married, what? Five times now."
Erin shook her head and gave a small laugh. "Don't try to psycho analyse me Jay." She stated. She paused. "Have you given any more thought to whether or not we tell Voight or..."
"No...no!" Jay shook his head; cutting off Erin. "We are not telling Voight!"
"He pardoned Burgess and Ruzek." Erin rationalised.
"Burgess was shot!" Jay retorted. "Her and Ruzek are an exception to the rule. Do you want to take a bullet so that Voight will give his blessing?"
Erin glanced at Jay. "I'd take a bullet just to come over to your place tonight." She teased; smiling as she watched his eyes widen and jaw slightly drop open. She knew she got him; he was momentarily speechless.
Finally, he spoke. "And which part of the body would you sacrifice?" He asked, with a small nervous laugh.
"A shoulder maybe?" She purred. "Or maybe the fleshy part of the thigh?"
He raised his eyebrows and smirked. "Now I feel special." He stated; glancing at her.
"Oh, you should!" She exclaimed with a smile.
He gently removed his thumb and looked down at her face; her eyes were still closed. He sighed, relieved he had not woken her and then replaced his thumb; gently grazing the scar.
"It doesn't hurt you know." Spencer soft voice stated. Jay glanced down at her; her eyes were still closed. "In fact; you're tickling me." She slowly opened her eyes and looked up to meet his eyes.
"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to waken you; I just..." He paused. "I hate that you were hurt; I hate that I wasn't there to protect you; that this happened."
Spencer sighed and rolled over onto her stomach; using one elbow to support her weight as her other hand gently stroked Jay's cheek. "Jay, I knew the risks when I signed up for 'Doctors without Borders', just as you knew the risks when you enlisted. Getting shot is the risk you take when you go to war torn countries."
Her fingers softly travelled from Jay's cheek down to his shoulder; her fingers tracing the faded scar on his shoulder. "Hell; you survived two tours of Afghanistan and got shot right here in Chicago." She continued. "It's all part of the job Jay; we both have to accept that."
"But with all the complications...I just hate that you had that pain..." He sighed.
"Well I don't!" Spencer exclaimed; cutting off Jay; taking Jay by surprise. "If I hadn't been shot; I wouldn't have been sent home from Iraq to recuperate and wouldn't have been deployed to Syria with a new team and I wouldn't have met you again; fallen in love and be planning in spending the rest of my life with you Jay; I see being shot as a blessing; and I'm sure you do too; it was your ticket to Intelligence."
Jay sighed; he couldn't argue with her reasoning. "Just...just try not to get shot again." He stated; his hand reaching out to cup her face. "The plan is to grow old together after all..." He was smirking.
"I'll try my best if you try your best." She retorted; leaning into him; their noses grazing.
"Deal." Jay softly muttered before their lips crashed together.
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Erin stepped into the District and froze; Kim was at the desk; debating her assignment for the day with Sergeant Platt. She inwardly groaned and lowered her head; hoping to make it to the bull pen without being spotted.
She hadn't meant to get so emotional in front of Kim; she hated crying in front of others; she hated showing her weaknesses; she was always so embarrassed the next day. She didn't want to be so vulnerable.
Yes, she appreciated how Kim had been there for her; how she had always been there for her; ever since she broke down at brunch all those months ago but it didn't make facing Kim any easier. She had just made it to the scanner when she heard Platt's cheerful greeting "Detective Lindsay, good morning."
She inwardly sighed; regretting being one of Platt's favourites. She forced a smile and momentarily turned to face Platt and Kim. "Morning Sergeant Platt; Officer Burgess." She stated; hoping it was enough of an exchange to allow her a clean getaway.
It wasn't; she heard Kim's footsteps coming towards her. "Detective Lindsay, you got a minute?" Kim asked; keeping to the formalities of the workplace.
Erin exhaled; fixed a smile on her lips and turned to face Burgess. "Of course." She replied. "What's up?"
Kim stepped up to her; her hands resting on the holster around her waist. "So um, how are you today?" Burgess asked.
"I'm great." Erin replied. She knew by the look in Kim's eyes, she wasn't buying it. "Seriously Kim; I'm sorry about what you had to witness last night but I got it out of my system and I am perfectly okay now. Thank you!"
"Erin, don't you dare apologise!" Kim scolded. "I'm glad you reacted that way; it is how you should react; it's human nature. You can't keep everything bottled up."
"I don't!" Erin retorted. "Seriously Kim; yes, last night was bad but it is out of my system. I am perfectly okay."
Suddenly; Erin's eyes widened and quickly glanced at the floor; her fingers brushing a stray strand of hair behind her ear. Kim glanced over her shoulder; finding Jay had just walked in and had stopped to talk to Roman at the desk. She turned back to Erin.
"Erin, you are definitely not okay." Kim observed. "Do you really think it is a good idea for you two to be working in the same unit? To be partners?"
Erin sighed. "Now you sound like Voight." Erin muttered.
"It's because we care." Kim reiterated.
Erin lifted her head to look Kim in the eyes. "I get that; and I appreciate that." Erin replied. "But I'm always going to have Jay's back and he is always going to have mine; we've always been partners first and foremost."
"But..." Kim interjected; however, Erin cut her off.
"I know this sounds strange Kim; after everything that has happened." Erin continued. "But he's my partner; my best friend and I need him in my life. You of all people should understand that; you gave up your dream of intelligence to stay on the beat with Roman."
"That was a completely different circumstance." Kim shot back.
"But the bond of a partner is the same." Erin retorted. She looked over Kim's shoulder and saw Jay approaching. "Anyway Kim; thanks for last night; it was fun!"
"What?" Kim asked, confused; then she spotted Jay approaching. "Oh yeah, it was. Hey Halstead. Bye Halstead." She began to walk towards Roman at the desk.
"Hey Burgess; bye Burgess." Jay stated; raising his eyebrow. "Was I interrupting something?"
"What? No!" Erin scoffed; placing her fingers in the scanner while Jay put in the code. The door buzzed open. "We were just discussing last night." They began walking up the steps towards the bull pen.
"Last night huh?" Jay stated, smirking. "Did you do much damage?"
"No; just pinned a bottle of tequila at my place." Erin replied.
"And you're still fully functioning?" Jay asked; amazed.
"Unlike others I know *cough* you; I can handle my drink." Erin teased; smiling.
Jay gave a small laugh; "As I am in such a good mood I'll let you have that." Jay stated.
"How generous!" Erin retorted; sarcastically; playfully bumping her bum against him.
##############
"Well that was a waste of time!" Jay muttered as he followed Erin up the steps towards the bullpen. They had been out to see one of Erin's C.I.s, hoping for a leading on their current case. Unfortunately, her C.I. Dom knew nothing; instead, he blasted Jay for leaving the unit and Erin in the first place.
"Oh I don't know." Erin replied with a smirk. "I found it very enlightening."
"Only 'cause it wasn't you getting abuse hurled at them." Jay retorted.
"Can I help it if my C.I.s are little over protective?" Erin shot back.
"You can tell them to cut the guilt trip for leaving you partner-less." Jay replied. "How was I to know I was irreplaceable?" Now it was his turn to smirk.
"Please!" Erin scoffed, pushing Jay. "It's not that you were irreplaceable; it was Voight and the fact he's hard to work for!"
"Yeah, that was the only reason." Jay teased as Erin rolled his eyes. They had finally reached the bullpen; but no one was at their desks. They could hear laughing coming from the break room. Both Erin and Jay looked at each other; confused; and headed towards the break room.
As they entered the break room; they found Will at the centre of the group; telling a story from Jay's childhood to the rest of the unit. "Will, what are you doing here?" Jay asked; his voice slightly squeaking with the nerves.
"He's not telling us that you preferred She-ra, the Princess of Power to He-man; that's for sure!" Ruzek teased; laughed.
Jay sighed and rubbed his eyes; knowing his brother was actually telling his hard as nails colleagues that as a child; he played with She-ra, instead of He-man. He glared at his brother. "And what my brother Will isn't telling you is that it was his fault we ended up with She-ra toys instead of He-man toys." Jay stated. "He was the one that wanted She-ra!"
"Hey!" Will stated; holding his hands up. "I may have only been 3 years old but even then I could recognise a hottie." He looked over Erin and put on his best Joey accent from Friends. "How you doing?"
Erin giggled; knowing that Will was only teasing Jay but she could also see Jay's nostrils slightly flaring as he glared at Will. "I'd be much better if the Halstead brothers didn't spill blood in our break room because I know who'll be left to clean it."
Will gave a small laugh and turned to face Jay. "Relax bro; I promise I won't share any more stories." He stated. "I actually just stopped by to invite your unit to your engagement party – this Friday in Molly's."
Jay crossed his arms as Erin and the rest of the unit glanced between both the Halsteads. "Engagement party?" He asked. "I'm having an engagement party?"
"I thought I should set it up...being your best man and all." Will replied; with a shrug.
"Wait! Best man?" Ruzek exclaimed; glaring at Jay. Erin had to stop herself laughing at the expression on both Jay and Ruzek's faces. Ruzek looked like he just found out the world was about to end and Jay looked like he was about to shoot a puppy.
"He is my brother Ruzek." Jay stated.
Ruzek nodded knowingly. "I guess I can settle for Groomsman then." He retorted.
Jay looked over at Mouse; his eyes filled with panic. He had only planned on a best man and one groomsman; Mouse; as Spencer wanted her best girl friend from med school Jen as her chief bridesmaid and his sister Louisa as her other bridesmaid.
Mouse nodded his head; telling him it was okay. Jay looked back at Ruzek; forcing a smile. "Of course you're my groomsman." He stated.
Ruzek gave a fist pump; completely oblivious to what had taken place. "Will, please tell me I can help with the bachelor's party?" He begged.
"Of course buddy!" Will replied; before Jay could protest. Will slipped his arm around Jay as Ruzek gave another fist pump. "But we can talk details later; right now I need to talk to my bro."
"Of course Best Man!" Ruzek called after Will and Jay as they exited the break room towards Jay desk; the rest of the unit rolled their eyes; knowing it was going to be hard to get Ruzek to focus again.
"So what do you need to talk to me about?" Jay asked as he sat down behind his desk. Will perched himself on Jay's desk.
"You ah, have you talked to Spence about her career options?" Will asked.
Jay nodded knowingly; knowing where this conversation was going to go. "Yeah." He replied. "She told me she got the job at Chicago Med but that she had agreed just to have access to practicing medicine there rather than a job."
"Did she tell you why she didn't want the permanent job?" Will asked, crossing his arms.
"Yeah, she mentioned working for a free clinic instead." Jay replied, shrugging his shoulders.
"A free clinic on the south side!" Will exclaimed. "The south side Jay! Do you know how dangerous the south side is?"
"No? Really?" Jay replied, mocking his brother. "It's not like I haven't been policing the south side since I left the academy."
"And you still never talked her out of it?" Will snapped.
Jay shrugged his shoulders. "C'mon Will, this is Spence we're talking about." Jay replied. "You know once she sets her mind to something, there is no changing it."
Will sighed. "I guess so." He admitted reluctantly.
"And we both know she can take care of herself." Jay stated.
"You're telling me!" Will scoffed, laughing lightly. "I mean, she nearly broke my hand the first day we met at orientation and I squeezed her ass..." He trailed off. "Sorry, I'll stop talking about my future sister in law like that."
"Please do." Jay replied, trying to relieve the awkward tension between them.
Will cleared his throat and stop up as he saw Erin tentatively heading towards them; a cup of coffee in hand; trying to gage whether or not it was okay for her to sit at her desk; wondering if they had finished their discussion.
"Well, um...I guess I better head back to the hospital." He said loud enough for Erin to know she could sit at her desk. "Erin, I hope to see you there on Friday...I have someone for you to meet."
"Oh um...the engagement party." Erin stuttered, placing her cup on her desk. "You know, I think I might be babysitting for my kinda little brother Justin. He's in town with Olive and their baby Hank and well, they never get out so..." She shoved her hands in her back pockets.
Will nodded his head; understanding what she was trying to do but Jay was oblivious. "I'm sure Voight will keep Hank Jr." Jay interjected. "It's not like he's going to go to Molly's."
Erin inwardly sighed as Will shot her an apologetic look. "Yeah maybe..." She stated; forcing a smile.
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Erin drove along the streets of Chicago; Jay beside her; in the passenger's seat. "So what are we having for lunch?" She asked, glancing over at him. "Because I am down for anything...except Mexican. I do not want to be stuck in a car with you and your gas." She smiled; teasing him. There was no response. She glanced over; he was staring out the window; distracted. "Jay?"
Finally, he looked over at her. "I'm sorry if I put pressure on you about attending this engagement party." He stated. "I wasn't even thinking...I guess I just thought you're my partner, why wouldn't you come but then..." He trailed off. He sighed. "I guess I'm just confused about how things are going to work between us."
Erin sighed; she knew what he meant. They were both playing along; pretending that nothing had changed; that they were still best friends and partners; that their romance had not happened; that everything was the same; but it wasn't.
"I mean; you're my partner but you're also..." He paused; struggling to find the right word.
"The ex?" Erin added for him.
"I don't like that word." Jay stated.
"But it's what we are." Erin affirmed.
"Trust me; 'ex' does not sum us up." Jay quickly retorted.
"So what does?" Erin asked. She paused. "Complicated?"
Jay gave a small smile. "I guess...unfortunately." He replied.
Erin sighed. She really didn't want to talk about this; not today. She didn't want to try and label their relationship; she didn't want to risk that Jay may realise their situation wasn't going to work; that he'd stop being her partner. She didn't want that; that was the one thing she was sure of. So instead, she tried to change the subject.
"You know; I'm just realising..." She stated; trying to sound upbeat. "...I never saw Spencer's ring."
"That's because she didn't have one." Jay replied.
"How can you be engaged without a ring?" Erin asked, in disbelief.
"Well it's not like I flew out to Syria with the intention of becoming engaged!" Jay retorted. "It just...it just happened..." He trailed off.
Jay was perched on the edge of Erin's desk; as Erin sat; feet on the desk; leaning back on her chair; completely relaxed.
"But it's a great place to retire." Jay stated.
"I'm not living in Northern Wisconsin!" Erin scoffed.
Jay slightly tilted his head to the side. "I...I don't remember asking you to." He shot back.
Erin's jaw dropped open; not knowing how to respond. She felt a flush spread to cheeks. She jumped the gun; she had made an assumption; a possible future commitment in a relationship. This was not her; she was not this person. Yet, she had allowed herself to picture in her head growing old and retiring with Jay Halstead by her side. She shook her head; trying to find some snappy comeback.
Jay looked at her and gave a small blink and you miss it wink and a small laugh. She gave a small laugh too and shook her head; finally realising he was teasing her. It was enough to give her hope that he felt the same; that he pictured them retiring and growing old together too.
Erin nodded knowingly and swallowed hard; trying to decrease the lump forming on the back of her throat. Why had she changed the subject to this? She knew she wanted to show Jay that she was over him; that she could be the supportive partner but she really hadn't thought things through.
"So I guess you'll have to fork out for a diamond as well as a wedding band then." She stated.
"Actually, Spencer wanted to use her mother's engagement ring." Jay replied. "It's at the jewellers getting resized now. She'll have it for the party."
"That was nice of her mother; parting with something like that." Erin stated. "I think the only think Bunny gave me was the flu."
"Well her mum left it to her so..." He trailed off.
"Oh my God! Her mother passed away?" Erin questioned. "And here I am Bunny bashing...thank God you told me before I put my foot in it with Spencer." She paused. "So um, how long has she been...?"
"She um died in child birth...giving birth to Spencer" Jay replied.
"Oh God!" Erin muttered; mentally taking note that she should phone her mother when she got home. She may not have been perfect, or actually good; but at least she had a mother.
"Hey...it is what it is." Jay replied. He glanced at her. "Do not use this as a guilt trip to reach out to Bunny again."
"How did..." She asked, looking over at him. She didn't have to finish the question; she knew the answer. He was always able to read her thoughts. She nodded.
"Anyway; I'll understand if you don't want to come to the party." Jay stated. "That's what I wanted to say."
Erin paused. She glanced over at Jay. "Thanks." She simply said. Jay nodded his head; knowingly.
To be continued...