Here's another chapter, a lot faster than the others. Still UN bated so if anyone who wants to help me out with that please message. Forgot to wish everyone happy New Year last time so happy new year better late than never. Still don't own glee or any of its character's. Let me know what you think don't really like this chapter myself think it's a bit (a lot) crappy. So enjoy. Read and review love to hear from you good or bad.
Rachel putting the platter that the blonde away. During thetime her guest was standing and observing her new surroundings.
Do you want anything to drink I have red wine or white wine, or vodka if you want something stronger?" she asked from the kitchen taking out two glasses to pour the drinks in.
"I don't drink" answered the other woman who appeared in the door way off the kitchen.
"Oh ok I got water or orange juice if you would prefer that?" she questioned.
"I don't want anything thanks." She answered extremely quickly. The shorter woman nodded and started to walk out of the kitchen, with Quinn following behind her.
Sitting on the couch, Quinn sat as far as possible from Rachel. The room was once again filled with silence. Both women staring at each other, Rachel had observed the blonde who looked like she was not and neither eating nor sleeping which was slightly worrying; her eyes were heavy body slump and over worked.
Quinn stared at Rachel she could not deny that the diva had matured beautifully all the curves on her body in the right places, long legs or short woman. How her body complemented each and every one of her features. She could not deny that she was still attracted to the brunette but there was something missing like the spark that once ignited their relationship. She could not trust the woman in front of her. What if Quinn wanted something and Rachel didn't like it what would she do to get her way? Quinn couldn't risk getting hurt again, the two previous times she had fallen head over heels in love with someone it ended up in heartbreak for her and she was sure that her heart couldn't take it again if it ever got heart, it was already holding on by a thread that could snap any moment.
"Rachel I don't know what you want from me but whatever it is I am sure I can't give it to you." The blonde said breaking the silence to get her out of this situation.
"Quinn I want us to be friends please. It just that the last ten years without you I been completely lost and I was stupid to ever do what I did. I was egotistic and selfish and never did I even consider your feelings but I regretted it he minute I saw your heart break in principle figgins office. I tried so hard for everyone to just let me talk to you but no one was willing to even let me go near you or even talk to you on the phone" the brunette answered moving closer to the blonde. She reached out to hold the other woman's, once Rachel had Quinn's hand in hers. The blonde moved her away and put both her hands into her own so Rachel would not be able to hold them. Feeling the loss of the other woman's hand Rachel felt rejected and her eyes began to water as she was about to cry. She wanted Quinn to know how sorry she was and that she was willing to do anything to have the blonde back I her life.
"I hated my self during the time I was at home on my own just wondering what I had done to you. What you were going through? No one would tell about you just kept telling me to move on that you were bad news and that the sooner I forget about you the better. I came back to school only to find out that you weren't there and that nobody had any idea where you had gone. I asked your mom that's when I found she kicked you out of your home again for being gay the night I told her."
Crying though the whole speech Rachel once again tried to reach out for the blondes hand to hold. She placed her hand on top of both o the blonde's hands that were interlocked together. This time the blonde let Rachel leave her hand there knowing that the brunette was crying and needed some kind of interaction.
"I searched everywhere and asked everyone but no one knew where you were, even so I went to figgins but nothing. And the day Mr shue told me that you had probably left lima or good because your school records and files had all been transferred to a different state and that not even figgins knew where your files had gotten to I just wanted to curl up and die, but I never stopped searching I looked everywhere for you. Every time I saw blonde I went running to see if it was ever you but it never was."
The now sobbing woman said. Rachel placed her head on the taller woman's shoulder to cry on. Quinn feeling a little afraid started to rub circles her back to sooth the crying female. Calming down Rachel knew she had to finish telling the blonde everything.
"I spent ten years hating myself for what I did to you and how I would do anything to turn time back and do everything differently. But that's not possible but I want to show you that I really am sorry even if it takes me my whole life to show that you can trust me even as a friend I will take it because I want to be in your life and I want you to be in mine, and I want to show how sorry I am and I will do anything for you to trust me again."
She said staring straight into the taller woman's eye to show her how genuine she was being.
Quinn listened to the brunette as she poured her heart to her. She wanted to forgive the woman in front of her but her mind was telling her that this would end in heart break for herself and would probably kill her emotionally.
"I can't do this Rachel I can't get hurt again. It's just best that we just pretend that we don't know each other that way both of us can save ourselves from the heart ache that is defiantly going to come with us."
The blonde said standing up to leave the diva by herself again. Rachel grabbed the blonde's wrist and pulled her closer while standing her up herself.
"Quinn please one chance let me try I'm begging you one chance and I promise I won't hurt you or let anyone hurt you. I won't let a single tear drop from your eyes please just one chance please just give me one chance please" Rachel pleaded the blonde tears streaming though her eyes.
Quinn ran her hand though her blonde locks as she thought about the brunette's plea. The look on Rachel face was always one that she could never say no to, no matter how much she wanted to protest. Nodding slowly she agreed to the brunette's pleas.
"I agree but Rachel I can't trust you" she said sighing.
"I know Quinn but I am going to do anything and everything to earn your trust even if it take me my whole life." she replied moving to hug the taller woman, Quinn realised that Rachel as about to hug her, she felt her body tighten and stiffen her instantly. The hug was uncomfortable for both the women.
Quinn went back to her apartment. She felt like her head was about to explode, she went to the kitchen to get a glass of water and an aspirin. She saw the cookies on the breakfast nook. Sitting at the nook she stared at the baked goods, wondering why she gave in to the diva so quickly. Her mind was telling her to push the diva away that anything to do with the Broadway star was going to end in pure and utter heart ache, but part of her heart was telling her the opposite.
She wondered why her heart was compelled in giving the woman next door another chance, to let her back in. the thought of Rachel being her first love came to mind, Rachel was the first person she had fallen in love with, she never loved her parents only feared and at times respected them. Finn she felt like she needed to be in love with him but never was, he was the star quarter back and she was the head cheerleader, it was like people expected them to be together. She was with puck only for the sole reason of Beth; never did she once feel anything but pity for the boy.
Rachel the first person she had truly loved without any obligations or requirements, just pure and simple love deep down from her heart maybe that was the reason that she listened to her heart instead of her mind. Because Rachel was her first love and you never fall out of love with your first true love no matter how badly they hurt you.
She decided to trust her heart and let the diva back into her life but at a distance to protect her from future pain that may or may not come. Test the singing starlet to see whether it would be wise to let her back into her life as a friend. With that thought she grabbed one of the cookies and walked up try and gets some sleep tonight.
Once Quinn had left Rachel felt a little sad the woman had bolted right after they had hugged. But thanked her lucky stars that the love of her life had given a second chance to redeem herself and prove to the blonde how sorry she truly was and that she would do anything to have her back in her life and her heart.
With that she got into bed not even caring about her nightly routine, she just wanted to get to her dreams of her lover. Lying in bed Rachel wondered why the blonde had let her back into her life. Why Quinn didn't put much of a fight into not letting the diva back in? Trying not to divulge too much into the details and let everything take its course and let the blonde make each and every move in this friendship.
She was going to do everything in her power to earn the painters trust and love no matter what she had put herself through because it would be nothing compared to what she put Quinn though.
The next couple of weeks had been exhausting for both women as thanksgiving was coming and Rachel was doing the double amount of shows and interviews to keep up with her schedule, whilst trying subtlety to get closer to the blonde.
Quinn was getting more on the edge as the time neared to the day she lost the two most important people in her life. Sleep had become non-existent to her. With finals and grading paper she was losing her mind. Rachel wasn't helping her contestant checking up on her was becoming rather irritating. Alison and Jennifer were like her shadows, never leaving her on her own for a second, even going to the bathroom had become a problem as Alison would always go in with her and look away. Things were only about to get worse since both Mr and Mrs Anderson would be arriving at her home in a few days, and their son josh was also coming home from the navy for the holiday.
She was feeling like she couldn't breathe, she needed to escape. As ever one was at her home laughing about some story that Jennifer was telling about Alison Quinn quietly sneaked out of the apartment to have some time to her. Getting outside the building hiding behind the building so that she was not seen for a while, she leaned against the wall.
"Needed to get away too huh" said the other person who was already standing there.
"Yeah just needed some time to myself" she answered.
"Me too, sorry I haven't been by your home since those other two women showed up I just didn't want to cause any trouble I know they like Me." was the answer she got back.
"It's ok" said the blonde.
"You have a great family I can hear you all laughing and having a great time you have more than the two women at your place.
Yeah Alison's mom and dad and her brother have all come down here for the holiday. They all wanted to spend this holiday together as we haven't had a proper family holiday in years." The blonde said as she thought about her previous holiday with the family and Michelle and josh.
Not realising she had been out for half an hour and that the people at home would probably going to send a search party to find her. She thought she better get back before she gets into more trouble.
"I should go back before they all go crazy looking for me." The blonde said pushing herself of the wall and making her way back inside. Rachel nodded and watched the blonde retreat the way she had come. Rachel also pushed herself of the wall five minutes later and decided to go back to her dads and mom and Beth and Santana and Brittney.