Edited- 11/12/10
Chapter Ten- What in the name of all that is holy just happened…
It had been one week since Viper and I had set plan Byronic Remus into motion, and I'll be darned it was working. His new fan group almost trumped that of Sirius Black! Not to mention Deuce had been mentioning him a lot.
Speaking of the infamous Mr. Black he had been awful sulky lately; I mean kicked puppy sulky, and I have no idea why. Not to mention it's been bugging me, and I don't know why either. This is a vicious cycle indeed.
Which explains where I find myself now, sitting on the top of the astronomy tower, trying to ignore the loud sighing being emitted by Sirius Black, who had decided to invite himself up here.
"Sirius, if you keep annoying me I will push you off this tower, and tell everyone it was a freak thestral accident."
Sirius merely made another sigh in response.
Finally I had had enough. "WHAT?" I screamed whilst standing up. "What could possibly be bothering you so much that you feel the need to seek out my company?"
"Well," Sirius started looking up into my eyes from his sitting position. "The hair gel that I've been using for the past seven years has gone out of business."
I stared back at him with my mouth slightly open. "So, you've been sulking for the past two weeks over a hair product?"
Sirius stood up "It's not just any hair product!" He said gesturing wildly with his hands. "It was perfect, maximum hold gel, that didn't make your hair crunchy or flaky! It created the perfect tussled look!"
He looked up into the sky with a wide smile on his face, his eyes bright and shining, much like a child looks at a clown being carried up into the atmosphere after someone has attached a large amount of balloons to the back of their pants.
I walked up to Sirius and placed my hands firmly on his chest, looked deep into his eyes, then pushed him right of the edge of the building...
At least that's what I would have liked to do; however, the thought of being brutally murdered by throngs of angry fan girls kept my violent urges at bay.
I shook my head to rid myself of the thoughts of murder as Sirius was still gazing into the sky.
"Here I thought it was something serious..." I mumbled, shaking my head at the stupid pun.
Sirius looked at me with his eyes tearing up.
"I meant to say life altering..." He just started back blankly, eyes glistening with unshed tears. I mumbled again and patted him on the back.
Taking this as an invitation, he pulled me to his chest and started sniffling into my neck, whispering soft words of adoration to his lost hair product. I looked into the sky to see if at all possible the clown that was floating to his doom would at all consider taking me with him.
Just then, I heard it, a cry too horrendous to be that of a human. That echoing call will forever haunt my dreams… I looked to the entrance of the astronomy tower in horror only to find what I was dreading, yet expecting.
Now desperately wishing the clown could save me from my fate, I came face to face with a group of ravenous, blood thirsty fan girls all giving me looks that guaranteed my untimely demise.
I shook Sirius who was still whispering into my neck
"Sirius, come on man." I whispered urgently.
"I'm in desperate need of your help." He mumbled incoherently, and lifted his head off my shoulder, looking into the vicious mob he gulped, and looked into my eyes.
"Sirius I need you to do something for me." I stated feigning a calm I most certainly didn't feel while grasping his shoulders.
Before he could finish nodding his head, I had grabbed him and shoved him into the group of his admirers, and made a dash for the door. Hearing Sirius's horrified wails I yelled as I descended the stairs
"For the love of your hair gel, run!"
As I ran down the stairs expertly evading Sirius Fan girls, I felt a little bad for my sulking friend. By the time I got to the bottom of the stairs I looked back up hoping beyond hope that he would be ok. That is until a loud disgruntled voice shouted at me from behind.
"How could you abandon me there with all that lip gloss?"
"Sweet Jesus, Sirius!" I screamed turning around "How the heck did you get down here?"
"That's not important! You left me there to die!"
"Look Sirius, my choice was quite logical. If I had stayed with you, we both would have been killed; however, they would never kill you by yourself. You're too precious to them. Plus, I figured you could use the attention."
Sirius sat down looking disheveled. "No."
He started "All those girls, the only reason they want to date me is so they can get their 15 minutes of fame, which, you know, used to fine with me, but I can't remember all their names! And, well frankly my face can only take so much slapping."
I looked at him a little bewildered "Then why do you date them if it's so obvious they're using you?"
He looked at me a little confused "Well, uh, because that's what I'm supposed to do…" He looked to be thinking about his answer.
"Why not just find a girl you actually like… you're not the only guy with a fan club…"
He looked honestly surprised.
"Well yeah, there's James, but he only has eyes for Lilly, and that one Ravenclaw guy, but only the really nerdy girls who don't think they have a chance with me or James go for him. There's also that Slytherin, but only other Slytherins like him so that's not much of a loss."
"Sirius," I said crouching down in front of him and putting my hands on his shoulders. "I don't want to alarm you, but Remus's fan club has grown to about the size of yours in the past few weeks."
Sirius looked at me for a while waiting for me to say 'just kidding!' but it never came. He tilted his head to the side and scratched behind his ear.
"Remus… as in my Remus… The nerdy guy in our group?"
"Well yeah, I figured that's why you were all mopey."
Sirius looked blank, and then let out a bark of a laugh… "I knew he had it in him!"
It was my turn to look surprised "So you were honestly upset about the hair gel?"
He looked a little uncomfortable "Uh... yeah that's it exactly"
He started to shift uncomfortably
I looked at him with an eyebrow raised.
(I can totally lift my eyebrow all Spock status. Hah I don't need to be a Vulcan to be so extremely awesome, But back to Sirius and his guilty look.)
"Sirius, are you hiding something form me?" I asked inching my way closer to him.
He blushed and mumbled out, what sounded like a No...
"Oh my god, I think I know what's going on here!" I exclaimed looking at him with a look of understanding.
He looked shocked.
"You're Gay, huh?"
He sputtered.
"What?" he yelled regaining the ability to speak.
"It makes perfect sense! You've gone through like 8 billion different girls, but now you've suddenly stopped. You're distancing yourself from all your guy friends, AND! You accessorize like it's nobody's business."
"I'm not Gay!" Sirius shouted
"There's no reason to worry Sirius" I said patting him on his shoulder.
"I'm sure your friends will accept you for who you are, and I can be very discrete." I added with a triumphant smile.
"You?" He said pointing an accusing finger at me "Discrete? By the end of the day the entire school will think I'm gay!"
"You're gay?" Both of us stopped and turned too looked at a second year Hufflepuff who was slowly inching back towards the hall way she came from.
"Wait!" Sirius made a lunge for her, but she was rather small and agile and ran off before Sirius could regain his composure.
"And you thought I'd be the one to let out your secret." I said smiling at him.
He was petrified staring after the little girl, who was no doubtingly spreading his secret throughout the school. He looked pale. I patted his shoulder comfortingly. This seemed to bring him out of his stupor.
"I can't… My life is ruined" he mumbled as he slid to a seating position against the wall he was previously standing by. His head dropped into his hands, I looked at him startled by his reaction.
"So I'm guessing you aren't gay then…"
He just looked at me blankly.
In one of my few moments of actual concern I asked, "So what really has you so upset lately?"
He yet again blushed then looked away from me. When it looked like he was going to say something. Remus rounded the corner looking ecstatic.
He quickly stopped when he saw Sirius and I sitting against the wall. Me looking a little guilty and Sirius looking like his favorite puppy was shot.
"Ummm, Ace is this a bad time?"
I looked up at him and shook my head a smile coloring my lips
"So what may I ask has got you so happy my dear, dear friend?" I asked after Remus sat down next to me and as I flung my arm over his shoulder.
At this Sirius seemed to turn red again and jumped to his feet, stomping off down the corridor.
I looked after him a little shocked.
Remus looked at me with a raised eyebrow and asked "What has his knickers in a twist?"
"I don't know... could be hair gel withdrawals." I said looking after him.
After I find out what's got Remus all excited I'll go hunt him down. Maybe he was really mad at me for the gay thing, but really! I can't be blamed for that! The last time someone looked at me at me like that and started to stutter they told me they were gay. It was an honest mistake!
"Anyways," I said looking back at my friend. "What gotten you so happy? You're brighter than bob barker's teeth."
"She talked to me!" Remus said looking as though he could start singing Italian love arias at any moment.
"Deuce and I are going out to the Hogsmead!"
Remus reached over and gave me a hug I didn't think he was capable of, squeezing out the air from my entire system.
I was able to wheeze out "As happy as I am for you, I won't be able to celebrate if I'm dead."
After a final squeeze he let me go a wolfish grin lighting up his entire face. I quickly refilled my lungs with air.
Pumping my fist in the air I shouted "I'm so happy for you! I told you I would help ya out!"
He smiled and thanked me again before running off to find Viper. I smiled to myself before lugging myself off the floor, hips popping obnoxiously.
"Now to go find the kicked puppy…" I mumbled to myself as I staggered my way down the corridor.
A/N (Alter)- So I have to apologize for how long it took to get this chapter out… We were gone on an Italian adventure, then too lazy to go on! However we do LOVE the feedback. I get all warm and fuzzy inside when I get an e-mail saying someone liked the story. I almost had a heart attack when I found out people were favoriteing it! The sheer joy I have when I get those e-mails is slightly pathetic… Oh well, I'm just glad to see people enjoy our style! I'm sorry if people don't like the fact it is talking so long for them to get together Sirius and Ace that is… I know I personally don't like when they fall head over heels in the first chapter. Can anyone guess what has Sirius so down? If you can I'll be pretty happy. Now here are a couple words from my co-author!
(Ego)- Well, in Grace's defense she did want to go on with the story, but every time she suggested it I would come up with some BS excuse not to, so you can direct all your hatred to me if you'd like ^-^ thanks for the favs and comments! They make me feel loved ^-^