No Such Thing as Time.
Chapter ten. (Ten? Yeah baby!)
Disclaimer: tis not my idea, I fail at life apparently.
a/n: So my computer survived it's repair operation! I happen to be freakishly happy about not being forced into using friend's laptops for serious essays and this too, of course! Sorry it took so long again, things are crazy. I imagine my fellow rock gods can relate?
StrawberryxSunlight – you sure do rock! Haha I'm glad it makes sense now, it's hard to tell if it story works or not when you've got it all figured out in your head. I agree, I've always had a soft spot for Liam despite all his crap. There just has to be a good part in there somewhere. Plus, I'm all for emotional healing stuff. I've provided inspiration? That would basically be my goal in life, so thanks for that. You better get writing, hun! Just make sure to leave a comment on here when you do so that I know when to read and review.
Ada23Mon – thank ya! They are officially together again! Yay! :D I just hope I did it a little bit of justice, the happy stuff is hard, man. If you have any ideas on what ya wanna read, let me know.
Itsall4love – Thank you! I like to play with the writing a lot and switch the perspectives and time lines. It just makes it more lost-y, if you will. You pictured that too! I just always thought that they could've really helped each other out. Hey, great minds think alike. (actually that's false, they don't.) but that's beside the point, we're both still awesome. I'm so happy that you love it - seriously it makes me happy. I'm always working to improve that writing. Fun stuff that writing is.
I'm awkwardly rambling, sorry.
…
The marble floors were cluttered with a slobbery, baby blue blanket and plush exotic animals lounging randomly about the fancy room. A diamond chandelier hung down gracefully from the lofty ceiling; the lights were dim but the excitement was burning bright. Claire sat among the out of place toys with Aaron in her arms. The air smelled like pumpkin pie and loud, abrupt laughter only emphasized the retro music playing softly in the background. Libby watched Aaron with wonder, giggling from his antics.
The kitchen was an absolute mess – pots and pans were scattered across the granite countertops, which were now covered in sugar and powder. Kate stirred the pot fiercely as Jack attempted with all his might to remove all the remaining pieces of eggshell from the yolk. Hurley twirled around in the bar seat with a spatula dripping in cake batter in one hand and a pen in the other. "Shhhh!" He yelled suddenly interrupting a flirtatious banter between Jack and Kate.
"I'm trying to write a sentimental card here, thank you very much."
"You're writing a card?" Jack failed to suppress a giggle.
"Yeah, and I didn't even steal a word from that hallmark crap. It's all from here," he patted his heart in pride.
"You were always good with your words," Kate complimented with a laugh.
Libby walked in with a huge smile in her face,
"We should make a sign."
"A sign?"
"You know, like a welcome back sign. It makes everything more official."
"I suck at art, like really bad. But if you and Claire wanna try, go for it."
Libby laid a large piece of paper across the table, a bucket of crayons sat next to a golden centerpiece and a cornucopia filled with faux, red leaves. Aaron had fallen asleep and lay in his crib beside Claire. She felt giddy as a schoolgirl as she wrote Charlie's name in thick, bold letters with a bright, red crayon. The next morning was Charlie's graduation ceremony and everyone was coming. Afterward they would come back to Hurley's house to celebrate the milestone of recovery. Claire was excited and nervous beyond belief. She really had no idea what to expect. She hoped all the excitement wouldn't be too much. Charlie had trouble comprehending why anyone would ever want to do anything for him, and if they did he just felt undeserving and guilty. But Claire wouldn't let him do this on his own – he needed their support.
….
Aaron's cries awakened her as the clock blinked to eight fifteen a.m. A rush of excitement filled her veins in anticipation. She leaped out of the guest room bed and picked up her son before heading towards the kitchen. She slept over at Jack and Kate's apartment so that they could pick up Charlie as early as possible. Jack was eating oatmeal as he stood over the counter,
"Good morning," he smiled sleepily.
"Good morning."
"It's the big day, how're you feeling?"
"I'm great … a little scared I suppose."
"That's perfectly normal, you have no idea what to expect."
"Do you think he's… better now?"
"Yeah, I think he's probably doing great. He had a lot of motivation with you two on his mind. The addiction's not going to disappear over night, you'll both still struggle with it together, but he's gonna do everything in his power to stay healthy for you."
Claire nodded nervously, her and Jack were leaving in a few minutes to go to the ceremony while Kate took Aaron over to Hurley's to finish preparing for the party.
…..
The lobby was all too familiar to Claire - it gave her a bad case of déjà vu. The doctor appeared from behind a desk and welcomed them in warmly before leading them down the narrow, cold hallway. At the end French doors were swung open revealing a back a garden. Outside, white benches were lined up facing the front of the yard. Jack and Claire sat down near a few other people and waited patiently. After a few minutes, a group of graduates walked out together discreetly. Charlie held his head high in his leather jacket as he waved and smiled ridiculously after spotting Claire in the crowd.
At the sight of Charlie, Claire stood up and smiled brightly.
He may be an addict, a murderer, a delusional, clingy man with the tendency to be unpredictable and even dangerous. He may be a complete wreck of a man who, in theory, shouldn't be anywhere near her baby. But as he smiles at her, his eyes crinkle up in the corners and she knows he's more than a stereotype. He's Charlie – her Charlie. And though staying with him is a complete roller coaster, she couldn't imagine being happy with anyone else.
He looked so much happier; she no longer had to search for his soul somewhere inside of his distant eyes. Now, they shone luminous blue as he stared at her with open honesty. Though they were broken and battered and had seen both the tragedy of life and the bitterness of death, they still miraculously held the glimmer of innocence. The little pure, untainted bit of his heart outlived all the needles, depression, and death.
As he approached her, he spoke her name aloud and his ridiculous smile only got bigger. He took her into his arms and lifted his hand to her face lovingly. He traced it reverently as if to make sure that he had accurately portrayed the memory of her during the past weeks of thoughtful solitude. Then he leaned down to kiss her softy. Claire smiled trough the kiss before parting for breath as Charlie laughed nervously.
"Hi," Charlie whispered as their foreheads were still pressed together.
"Hi," Claire laughed at him sweetly.
"God, I've missed you."
"I've missed you too."
It used to make her feel foolish to go week in the knees or get stupid butterflies in the face of her cynical knowledge. But right then, all her doubts subsided. Some innocent, child like part of her believes in love again. Or maybe it's just him that she believes in now.
…..
After a few moments of simple catching up between the three, one of the doctors called the graduates up to the center. Each ex addict shared a few words of gratitude and hope. Charlie listened intently to his friend's speeches while the crowd was equally moved by each individual's story. Finally, Charlie got up and began to speak, "a couple months ago I was a bleeding mess - I was in loads of pain, got myself into all sorts of trouble, I was dying. And the worst part was that I knew I was dying. I guess I didn't even care. Or maybe I wanted to die - maybe I hated myself so much I didn't really mind. Regardless, I was in really, really bad shape. I could barely function, I was always high, all my relationships were destroyed, and I was completely and utterly alone. I used to be full of passion for my music, but that was gone. The band had nothing to do with music anymore. It was just a way of forgetting – forgetting what I had become. I tried so hard to forget everything that when I finally remembered a little bit of the truth, it hit me hard." He smiled faintly at Claire, "I guess she made me feel something other than pain again. It sorta scared me. In a good way, mind. But I really think she changed me. Now I know who I am again … and I don't hate it anymore. I really like it, actually. So thanks for that. Thank you to everybody who was willing to help a worthless, hopeless junkie. You all saved my life."
The crowd clapped politely with an emotionally ridden air. Claire smiled at Charlie with evident pride in her tear-glazed eyes.
Charlie introduced Claire and Jack to the doctors and patients before saying his bittersweet goodbyes. He kept his hand intertwined with Claire's throughout the morning; the knowledge of her presence proved to be almost overwhelming. They finally made their way back to the car. Jack casually explained that they were going to see Hurley at his house and Charlie willingly accepted. During the ride, Charlie detailed the last month in rehab. He told of the brutality of detox and how refreshing it was to go trough the pain with people who were going through the very same thing. He described daily life and the friendships he formed. He spoke of his own recovery – his loneliness, pain, and doubt. The dilemma of how he could not really relate to anyone due to his unique and equally hard to believe reality. The crippling fear of failure loomed over his constant longing for his family. But the importance of health for them proved to be the perfect motivation. While he would still continue to go to follow up counseling, the drugs were now behind him.
Once they arrived at the house, Claire's anxiety got the best of her. She almost pushed Charlie out of the car with obvious anticipation. Charlie looked at her in mock horror, "You've wounded me! Abuse!" He cried out in mock pain as she shook her head disapprovingly, "always the dramatic."
Jack laughed quietly to himself at their antics as they came to the door.
Charlie looked back at Claire suspiciously before pressing the doorbell hesitantly. Loud, heavy footfalls foreshadowed the twisting of the doorknob. As Hurley opened the door, uncoordinated, excited yells of "surprise!" erupted from inside. Before Charlie even had the chance to react, Hurley was above him, engulfing him in a hug,
"Dude, you're alive!"
Charlie laughed, "Hurley! … It's been much to long, my friend."
Hurley let him out of his embrace to see a crowd of his dearest friends. Sawyer lifted his beer bottle in a celebratory gesture and hollered a hearty "howdy, jiminy cricket. Nice to see you back with the gang."
The figures surrounded him like cherished shadows in dim, dreamy light. Old, familiar tunes played softly from the record player as the sound of welcoming words filled the open space.
Someone patted his back from behind, he looked back to see Sun and Jin smiling at him.
"Good job, Charlie," Sun whispered sincerely as Jin added, "we are very proud of you."
"Jin, you can speak English now? Good for you, mate!"
Suddenly, Charlie heard a thick middle-eastern accent call his name. Sayid stood beside Shannon with a welcoming smile. They both greeted him warmly. After a pleasant conversation, Charlie noticed Kate holding Aaron in the kitchen and hastily made his way over. Kate smiled at him and gave the baby over to him without a word. He looked at Aaron's face with such genuine adoration that only a father could display. Aaron's chubby little arms reached to touch his face sweetly. Right then Charlie heard Locke's sympathetic voice before him, "I'm proud of you, son."
Charlie looked up at him in surprise; pride and appreciation was the last thing he expected from John Locke. "Thank you, John."
"I just hope we can put the past behind us. I've realized that I was wrong about you, you've become a better man than I'll ever be."
Charlie stood stunned; as much as he wanted so badly to hate this man, he couldn't. He played such a big part in Charlie's life, he couldn't let past mistakes take away from the priceless role he played.
"All's forgiven. That's what second chances are for, yeah?"
"Thank you, Charlie. I really appreciate it."
As if on cue, an unmistakable, Scottish accent yelled his name as a strong hand hit his back, "ya did it, ya bas. You bloody well saved us all!"
"What are you talking about, Des? You're the one who figured all this out. Not me."
"You're the one that crashed that car, brother. You got me thinking right. If it weren't for you, we wouldn't all be together now. You told me yourself, you saw something real – you saw the truth when no one else could see it. You're a good man, Charlie. You're the hero." Desmond smiled as if his statement should have been evident.
"Desmond … I really don't know what to say."
"Save it, Charles. Just remember it, aye?"
Penny came towards the two men with an excited look on her pretty face, "Charlie, Charlie Pace?"
"Ya, and you must be Penny."
She grabbed his hands and looked him in the eyes,
"Thank you, thank you so much, for everything."
"You're quite welcome …"
She turned to face Desmond with a questioning look, "Did you tell him Des?"
"Oh, that. No, not yet."
Charlie peered at the couple acquisitively, "tell Charlie what now?"
Penny laughed and shrugged slightly, "nothing much. It's just that Desmond really appreciated what you did back on the island – the sacrifice that you made. After I found him, we got married and had a son together. And see … we named our son after you, Charlie.
Charlie laughed in unbelief, someone naming their kid after him wasn't necessarily something he imagined checking off the 'to do' list, if you will. "That's why I've always wanted to meet you," Penny continued sweetly.
"Well, I hope I don't disappoint you too much."
Penny's laugh reverberated along with the rest of the laughter filling the room with a friendly ring. Charlie made his way back to Claire and put his arm around her as he looked down at Aaron with admiration.
…..
The night was a complete success. For once, no one spoke a word of conspiracies, schemes, or plans. No one voiced theories or fears. They simply enjoyed each other's company. They laughed at memories and remembered the good times. What they lost there on that island became irrelevant compared to what they had gained. They had discovered their true selves and they found each other; they saved each other. As stupid as it sounded, that's really all that mattered now – redemption through the bittersweet trials of love and the sacrifice of oneself for another desperate sinner. They feasted together as a family; a big, expanded, confused, dysfunctional family and celebrated just being alive again.
…..
As the early hours of morning fell, Jack, Kate and Charlie, Claire, and Aaron finally headed out. Jack drove the little family to their apartment. Charlie noticed the cleanliness as soon as they arrived. "I think this is the first time I've ever seen this floor," he yelled in surprise.
"Shhh" Claire pulled her one free hand to her lips as she held Aaron close.
"That's just sad."
"Well, I like what you've done to the place," he mockingly picked up a teddy bear as he looked around the floor at the surrounding toys.
Claire shook her head at him, "would you like to put him to bed?"
"It would be my pleasure." He carefully took Aaron from her arms and followed the direction of where Claire pointed. Once he saw the crib, he kneeled down and gently lifted him into his bed. He kissed the top of the baby's head softy.
"I really missed you, turnip head. I hope you missed me to, not too much, mind - Just enough to appreciate my current presence, of course."
Claire leaned in the corner of the doorway, mesmerized at his ease. She watched as he began to sing to the little boy. The connection between the two of them never ceased to amaze her. The fact that they shared no blood relation only amplified the wonder of their effortless love. Her son didn't carry his name, but he carried his heart, his love. He loved him selflessly and unconditionally. And she couldn't imagine a more beautiful sight.
The dim light of the freshly lit candle flickered warm, peaceful gleams. The atmosphere was still and peaceful as Charlie's raspy voice fell up and down along with Aaron's steady breathing.
"Catch a falling star an' put it in your pocket,
Never let it fade away
Catch a falling star an' put it in your pocket,
Save it for a rainy day
For love may come and tap you on the shoulder some starless night
Just in case you feel you wanna hold her …"
Claire chimed in with a whisper,
"You'll have a pocket full of starlight."
Charlie smiled up at her in the doorway,
"You're a natural."
Claire laughed, "did you write anything while you were gone?"
"I wrote a ton, actually. I was really feeling it, y'know. Severely inspired," he noted with animated expression at his accomplishment.
"I think that happens after someone realizes their life so closely resembles a science fiction movie."
"Well, yes. There is that..."
"Would you play one?"
"Claire … I don't know. I mean, maybe I could. It's just …"
"Charlie, you're a rock star, remember."
"Very true. It's just different with you, if that makes any sense."
"Don't worry, I won't make you. It's just back on the island you used to play for me all the time, I miss that."
"But those songs weren't about you."
"You wrote about me?"
"Yeah, of course I did. Look, I'll play one for you, my guitars in the front room."
"Are you sure you want to?"
"Yeah … yeah. Completely."
She took a look back at her sleeping son before tiptoeing slowly after Charlie. It was surreal to have him here, in his own home. He sat on the couch with his beloved, red, beat up guitar propped up on his lap as he nervously fidgeted to a made up beat. She sat beside him patiently waiting.
"I wrote this one during the first week. I was in a whole lotta pain and I really missed you. I guess I was sorta afraid that I'd never get better for you; that I'd never be worthy of you. I hoped to God that you weren't wasting a single tear on me." He breathed a deep sigh and looked down towards his guitar. His eyes held the profound look of vulnerability. They were broken in utter honesty and that hint of beautiful fear that anyone who has ever been in real love can understand.
A quiet, soft tune filled the comfortable silence.
Well, I was packing bags like a bat out of hell
And you were slippin on your dress
I was punching holes in a ticket to downtown mass
Where the spirit fled away from by body
Like a fire that I never lit
Have you ever seen a man so broken
As that one man that you were looking at?
I could try again if you wanted me to
I swear I'll be a better man
I swear to the heavens I'll forget all the past
Just say that you need me again
Have you ever seen a man so broken as that one man that you were looking at?
I just need you, my love
I just need you, my love
You were looking east with the heaviest heart
That I could ever recall seeing
Time is not the answer you want
But time is what we got
Have you ever seen a man burn brighter with love
Then the man that you are looking at?
The answer is no
No, no, no
It's no
So, love, love
Come and save me
Love, come and save me from the drowning
Love, love
Come and save me.
….
a/n: So yeah, they're together again. Pretty cool. This chapter was hard, so many people to write in so little time. (I'll use all the other characters a lot more from now on.)
For The next chapter, I'm gonna pick up right where I left off. I don't think I've actually ever done that before, huh.
The song was 'Love, come save me now' by Right Away, Great Captain.
I was randomly listening to it while I was writing and thought, "hmm that kinda works,' so I just altered the lyrics a bit and went with it. I wanted to do something more obscure to make it believable. Plus, the sound is beautiful, you can just imagine Charlie playing like that. And, as we all know, 'Catch a Falling Star' is by Perry Como and happens to be crazy adorable.
What are you dolls wanting to read? Suggestions? Advice? Critique? Appreciation that I'm totally flattered about even though I don't deserve it?
Whateves man. I'll take it.