Gon is breathing better now... Killua thinks to himself as he stares at his best friends face, his soon to be mate's expression. He smells of salt is what Killua concludes as he leans close, sniffing his skin. When he licks his cheek, he can tell he's still warm. Not as warm as he was yesterday. Sleep for Gon is helping him which is good. Killua knows Gon wouldn't stay home from school again. He's really crazy about that doctor stuff.
Killua glances at the time, seeing he still has an hour before Gon has to wake up. He should make use of this time. It's so warm next to Gon, and there's a pleasant humming in his brain from taking in Gon's scent. Killua's heart is beating faster and his face is flushed, his tail caressing Gon's hand. Killua doesn't want to move. Laying down with Gon like this has become one of his favorite things to do. Watching him sleep is never boring and when he's asleep, Gon can't turn his face away like he does sometimes.
Gon is a very attractive human. Killua can tell he was well taken care of as a child. His hair is strong and his eyes are always bright. Even when he's sleeping, Gon has this aura around him that is warm and filled with life. Killua's slanted eyes follow up the line of Gon's jaw, to his soft cheeks, and then to his nose that is wrinkled before it relaxes. His lips are parted, his eyebrows furrowed before they relax.
He really is nothing like the humans he's seen before. All the humans in the lab were old men mostly and none of them had a smile like Gon's. None of them had his body either. Gon is so soft but firm at the same time. He's muscular but not buff and his waist curves in nicely...He also has what those perverted old men would say 'the ass'. Killua knows if he reacts this way will Gon, so would all those other bastards-
But he doesn't want to think of them here. He left that life behind him and he's staying out. He's going to stay with Gon. That's going to be his new life. He's going to be there to experience everything with him. As his best friend and hopefully as his mate.
Killua got the freedom he wanted so desperately. Now there's something right within his grasp and he's not stopping till he gets it. Once he gets Gon, he'll never let go.
Killua's ears twitch when he hears Gon's stomach rumble, the man's eyebrows furrowing. He doesn't wake up though. Killua's eyes flash and he forces himself to get up slowly. He should make Gon some food. He rubs Alluka's hair gently, smiling over at her when he sees she's still asleep, curled up into a ball. Her ears twitch but she doesn't wake up when Killua crawls out of bed carefully.
Killua walks out of the room, closing the door behind him quietly before he yawns, stretching his arms above his head, his tail waving behind him and his ears twitching. He would like to just lay in bed all day with Gon but there's things he needs to do if he's ever going to get the older man as his mate. Gon also needs him right now. He's in a weakened state from his illness so Killua will be that extra support. Killua's ears flatten when he thinks of last night, and the beads of water that were falling down Gon's face. He never wants to see that expression on his face again. The guilt Killua felt and the panic was close to shutting him down.
Gon is so kind to him. Even when he's caused him so much trouble, he doesn't yell at him. He doesn't beat him or glare at him. He treats Killua with kindness and explains to him the pain he's been through and why those tears fell.
Gon really misses Mito, the person who raised him. Right now is a hard time for Gon, he must still be in mourning. With the stress of his mourning, school, work, and having three test subjects in his home...No wonder he would get sick. Gon is doing all he can for them, risking everything. He's taking care of them when Gon has his own problems.
He'll never understand Gon and maybe that's the beauty of it. Killua will never leave him now. He'll try to be more behaved and helpful. Gon needs his help. Killua is needed.
It's such a wonderful feeling. This feeling in his heart can't be explained by words.
"How is the little one?" Killua glares over at Hisoka who is laying on the couch, those yellow eyes watching him as he ignores his question and walks into the kitchen, his tail flicking. He opens the fridge and pulls out some eggs and milk. He'll make Gon some scrambled eggs and a bowel of cereal. Protein is good- "You made quite a mess last night." Hisoka sneers.
"Shut your fucking mouth." Killua's pupils get longer in warning as he looks back at Hisoka, a shadow falling over his expression. His eyes are filled with the intent to kill. "You've been provoking me and stepping over your boundaries. I lost my shit last night and I ended up making Gon cry. Our fighting has been stressing Gon out." Killua turns his head back so he can start working on the eggs, cracking them open into a bowel. "But i'm telling you now, if you touch Gon in his intimate parts ever again, you will lose your dick. I won't let you take him."
"So brutal." Hisoka chuckles, turning so he's laying on his back, looking up at the ceiling. "But I do not wish to make his eyes dull yet. The little one can't seem to handle it. So i'll be good Killua. I'll back off for a little bit." Hisoka licks his lips, those yellow eyes don't change but they get slightly darker.
"I find it hard to believe that." Killua narrows his eyes but he doesn't turn around as he pours all the eggs in the pan and starts to stir them around. His voice is calm, even. He won't let Hisoka get under his skin. "Wasn't that your source of entertainment? Pissing me off?"
"Yes. But I can find other ways to entertain myself." Hisoka rolls so he's on his stomach again, this smirk turning his face. "Did you get far with the little one last night? I could smell your arousal from the living room and Gons~ I didn't hear much of anything though-"
"Don't try to listen in on us you creep!" Killua tenses up,a soft blush on his cheeks. He grins back at Hisoka who's ears perk up. "Last night, Gon said he loves me! There's no reason for you to try anymore anyway. I've already gotten the highest form of affection from him. He loves me and he wants me to stay with him for the rest of his life." Killua's lips tingle from saying this, his heart beating faster. Being so happy is strange to the ex-experiment. In a way it makes him anxious, anxious that something will take this away from him but at this moment, Killua just feels warm. Gon doesn't want to stay with him for the rest of his life because Killua kills people, or because of his body. Gon wants Killua for who he is.
"My! Now isn't that something." Hisoka smiles, not seeming affected by it at all. Killua goes back to his cooking, scrambling up the eggs before putting them on a plate. "Gon said he loves you but you still haven't mated with him. I wonder why that is..." He hums. Killua's shoulders tense but he takes a deep breathe through his nose. He gets a bowel out and pours Gon's favorite cereal in it.
"Gon isn't ready for it. That's the reason why. So i'm waiting on him but he's pretty much my mate now even though I haven't' claimed him yet."
"Ohh I think he's ready." Hisoka chuckles getting Killua to glare over at him. "You smell that he's ready so why deny you? Are you sure it has nothing to do with your age-"
"Maybe it does." Killua hisses, an anger building in his chest. "But he still loves me! I'll get older. My age won't be a issue for long. I've looked it up. I will be considered an adult once i'm 18. That's only two years away-"
"Only two years? To Humans, that's a long time. Do you expect Gon to go without sex for two years while he waits for you to mature? I'm sure Gon does love you. He has such nice expressions when he's with you." Killua's ears twitch at Hisoka admitting that, those blue eyes staring at him intently. "Gon cares for you an awful lot. It's really cute. But I don't know if you've seen it Killua, but he also gets this sick look when you touch him too much."
"Sick look?" Killua's ears go back and he tries to think if he's remembered something like that. And he has. The slight averting of Gon's eyes, how he bites his lip and those amber orbs get duller. Killua's ears flatten before he glares at Hisoka but not as strong. Insecurity rearing it's ugly head. "I'm sure that had to do with when you would touch him, not me-"
"There are many different kinds of love for Humans Killua." Hisoka starts to wave his finger in the air, closing his eyes, his ears twitching when he hears Killua starting to pour some orange juice for Gon. "A human can love their child and love their mate but they are not the same. The human will not touch their child or mate with them. Unless they are ill. That is why, when you touch him Killua, it makes Gon ill." Hisoka's lips twist up. "He does not like it."
Killua's eyes widen, something clenching up inside of him and hurting. Gon...doesn't like it? When he touches him he gets ill? But Killua isn't his child. Killua isn't that much younger than him but...is this his fault? The illness Gon has? Last night Gon was flushed and his body was reacting to his touches. He became aroused but was that just because of the stimulation?
Everything slows down for Killua, his heart beating slowly in his chest. What is this feeling? It's painful, like someone gripping his heart in their hand.
"You are a replacement." Hisoka continues, his smirk widening when Killua's breathing becomes uneven. "For his fallen family member, for Mito-"
A replacement?...It makes sense doesn't it? Gon is mourning the loss of his family and then Killua comes along...Killua doesn't know what to do. His fingers are twitching, his pupils getting bigger. His instincts are screaming at him to just run into the other room and show Gon that he belongs to him- But another part of him is still.
He remembers the first day he stayed here. Gon was fussing over his wounds and he was talking to him as if he knew he understood what he was saying. He remembers how Gon said something about loving having someone to come home to again. He remembers thinking to himself, this is one sad, lonely human...
Gon told him that all he wanted was him to be his friend. It was obvious Gon wanted him around to fill the void. But he didn't consider if Gon would think of him as family. He didn't consider that he could have been a replacement for his fallen aunt.
Killua didn't consider that his touch would make Gon sick.
Killua swallows the lump in his throat as he grabs some milk and pours it in the cereal. He places the eggs in the bowel on a plate before he walks out of the kitchen and into the bedroom. Killua doesn't know why that bothers him so much. He should be happy that Gon loves him at all, that Gon cares for him so much and shows him kindness but...The idea of Gon thinking of him as family and becoming sick when Killua touches him, bothers him to no end.
Killua's eyes lock onto amber. Gon is sitting up in bed,rubbing at his eyes, just turning off his alarm that started to go off. Alluka mumbles something in her sleep, her ears twitching before she turns her on her stomach, curling up in the blanket again.
"mmm Good morning Killua." Gon smiles at him. "I feel a lot better today...oh did you make me breakfast?"
"...Yes." Killua walks over to Gon and places the plate in his lap. Gon smiles brightly at him, Killua's feels that yearning.
"Thank you Killua. IT smells good!" He shoves some eggs into his mouth. "I'm starting to get my appetite back so that's a good sign!"
"Yeah..." Killua licks his lips nervously, his tail waving behind him. Killua watches him eat, questions on the tip of his tongue. He should just ask Gon. He should just ask him if he thinks of him as family. He should just ask if his touches make him sick. But when he opens his mouth, no words can come out. He's too much of a coward. He's too afraid of what Gon would say.
"Is something wrong Killua?" Gon tops eating, looking over at the boy who was just standing off to the side stiffly. Killua tenses, those blue eyes averting.
"Nah." He waves Gon off, giving him a smile that feels plastered on his face. "I'm just staying at a distance. You really stink." That's not a lie. After sweating a lot, his pleasant scent has become unpleasant. But that doesn't bother Killua enough to keep him away from Gon. It's this feeling he has now, this uncertainty.
"Oh really?" Gon's eyebrows furrow and he sniffs under his arm pit, his face wrinkling up. "Yuck! I really do stink. Being sick is no fun. I even sweated into my sheets." Gon looks down at his sheets before looking over at Alluka who is still sleeping. He smiles. "At least my smell hasn't disturbed Alluka." He giggles, Killua's ears twitching at such a lovely sound.
"I don't know how she isn't." Killua grunts, crossing his arms.
"Eh don't worry. I'll smell better once I take a shower." Gon finishes the food Killua made for him quickly, closing his eyes for a moment to let it set in.
"...When I touched you this morning, you still felt pretty warm." Killua watches Gon's expression contently.
"I'm still warm but i'm okay Killua. I'm fine to go to school." Gon is quiet for a moment. "...Tomorrow is the final so I need to study really hard today so..." Gon stops talking as he gets off the bed. He winces slightly from putting weight on his leg but other than that he seems to be stable on his feet. "I'm going to have Komugi watch you guys while I study with Leorio."
"What?" Killua's ears flatten, following Gon as he walks into the bathroom. "Why do you have to study with Leorio? Why can't you study here-"
"Because it's too much here Killua. I won't be able to study here and actually retain anything. Yesterday was a lot of stress too...I think I just need a little time out of the house to focus on school. I won't be gone for a long time." Gon smiles back at Killua, trying to reassure him.
"How long will you be gone?" Killua feels something twist in his stomach.
" A couple of hours." Gon gets into the shower with his clothes on. Killua raises his eyebrow only to blink when Gon takes off his clothes and throws them out of the curtain. He's never done that before. Why didn't he get undressed in front of him? Killua feels offended. He thought they were closer than that. Killua's tail flicks in irritation. He doesn't like the idea that Gon is going to be gone longer than he normally would.
"You're still sick. You shouldn't be out." Killua tries to reason, walking closer to the shower, listening to the water hit Gon's body.
"I'm better Killua it will be fine. I need to study for this final. I need to pass it." Gon has that tone to his voice. The one Killua knows his eyes are shinning brightly with that determined fire.
Killua wants to kill all those humans that are in charge of making humans doctors and then appoint Gon as a doctor himself. All these years of school and stress seem ridiculous to him.
"Don't be out too long." Killua stands right outside of the shower, his ears twitching on his head, listening to Gon hum to himself like he does.
"I won't. You don't have to worry Killua. Try not to fight with Hisoka too much today and be careful when you go out to hunt."
Killua nods even though he knows Gon can't see him do that. He just stands there, listening to his humming and the water. He chews on his lip, words welling up in his chest but he can't get them out, can't even cough them forth. It's a strange feeling and he doesn't like it.
Back at the lab, if Killua wanted something he would take it by force. That Is what he was taught. Nothing in this life is free and everyone wants something from you. Killua could take Gon if he wanted to. That idea was planted by Hisoka and it's lingered since. It's what his instinct is telling him to do. But this other part is stumped. Killua wants Gon to want him.
"Killua could you hand me a towel?" Killua's ears perk up at Gon speaking to him as the water turns off. He grabs a towel and holds it out, watching as Gon's tanned hand reaches out to take it from him. A few moments later Gon is coming out of the shower, the towel around his waist, his black hair flat on his head.
"Thanks Killua." Gon beams at him.
Killua finds himself flushing. Killua likes when Gon's hair is wet. It's cute. He finds himself watching as Gon walks past him, watching the muscles in his back shift. His pupils get bigger when he sees a bead of water fall from his shoulder all the way down his spine. He just wants to lick him. Killua wets his lips with his tongue, keeping close to Gon as he walks to his dresser and starts pulling out clothes for him to wear.
He reaches out towards him, wanting to touch him but he gets that strange feeling and puts his arm back down.
"How did you sleep last night?" Gon asks as he puts on a green shirt. He drops his pants and it's like Killua immediately looks down, enjoying the view of those two round tan globes before Gon is pulling up some boxers quickly. Killua's tail flicks and he licks his lips. He's starting to feel warm again. He wants to get closer.
"I slept pretty good." What is this feeling? He's sure this feeling wasn't between them before. The air seems thick. Killua feels...nervous? It's hard to place this emotion. "Once you do this final, that's it right?"
"Yup! I get a mini break!" Gon turns towards him and smiles. Killua's ears twitch, those blue eyes lighting up, taking in that smile and those amber eyes looking at him. Gon averts his gaze too quickly for his liking. "Christmas is so close! During my break I need to do more Christmas stuff with you guys! We could make ginger bread houses or something. I'm sure you would like that since you like sweets so much." Gon chuckles, pulling up some jeans that fit him nicely. Killua likes how tight they are on him, the fabric shows every little curve...
"Killua you okay?" Killua's ears twitch and his eyes snap up to see Gon tilting his head at him, those amber eyes studying him. "You've been spacing out this morning. Are you still tired?"
"I guess a little bit." Killua lies, a soft flush spreading on his cheeks. He opens his mouth to tell Gon he should change his pants only for his words to stop when Gon walks up and pats him on the head. Killua's eyes light up from the attention, a little embarrassed when he starts purring right away. Killua closes his eyes, loving when Gon scratches behind his ear.
"Make sure to sleep then! Alluka has the right idea." Gon giggles over at Alluka who is purring in her sleep. Killua feels disappointed when Gon moves his hand out of his hair and walks past him.
"Yeah she's knocked out. I think i've been stressing her out too with me and Hisoka's fighting." Killua mumbles as he follows after Gon. Killua narrows his eyes at Hisoka when Gon sits down next to him to get his shoes on. To his surprise, Hisoka stays on his side of the couch, his ears twitching as he watches Gon. "But Hisoka said he'll stop touching you. I doubt that. Either way i'm going to make sure what happened last night doesn't happen again. So don't worry Gon."
"Good. It would make things a lot easier if everyone got along. This is a small apartment. It's hard enough with four people in it but when you guys fight it just makes it harder for everyone." Gon ties his shoes before he stands up. Killua runs over to the closet to grab Gon's book bag. He hands it to him. Gon smiles and pats him on the head again, Killua's chest feeling light once more.
"I know but he provokes me. He does it on purpose. I told you all he wants to do is cause trouble." Killua grumbles, his tail flicking as he glares over at Hisoka who smiles.
"I'll behave Gon." Hisoka smacks his lips. "Where are you going?"
"I have school and then I'm gong to be studying. I already told Killua but Komugi will be coming over to watch you guys. Be nice to her. NO scratching." Gon looks between Killua and Hisoka. Killua crosses his arms and glares away. Hisoka smirks, his tail moving around before he nods his head.
"I'll be nice~"
"Whatever. Just don't take too long." Killua's ears go back when Gon gets on his jacket, knowing he's about to leave. Gon hasn't coughed at all and he looks alright so that's a good sign but still. Killua knows he's not feeling his best. He's starting to feel anxious again.
"Tell Alluka that I left when she wakes up and that I'll be back later." Gon walks towards the door but when he puts weight on his leg he winces suddenly and stumbles. Killua is quick to support him, making sure he doesn't fall, Gon's face landing in his chest. Gon glances up at him, his face is so close to his. Blue eyes bore into Amber. Killua's heart is hammering in his chest and all he wants to do is kiss him. Killua leans closer but Gon turns his head. Killua feels that pain in his stomach as Gon pulls away from him, giving him this strange smile.
"T-Thanks Killua. I don't know what that was about. This leg is taking awhile to heal."
"Don't go stumbling around. If you can't walk good in here, you'll fall on the ice out there for sure." Killua wants to tell him to stay home but Gon is already unlocking the door, like he's in a rush to get out. "Oi! Say goodbye to me properly." Killua fights back this ugly feeling in his chest, trying to keep his voice normal.
"O-Oh." Gon smiles at him sheepishly before he reaches out, running his hands through his hair. Killua leans into the touch but as soon as his hand was there, it's gone. "Bye Killua. Bye Hisoka." Gon turns on his heel and opens the door.
"Wait what about my-" Gon walks out into the cold and shuts the door, leaving Killua standing there. "...Good bye kiss?" He finishes lamely. His ears go back and he just stares at the door that Gon went through. He's starting to resent this door.
He loves it because it's the door Gon comes back to him but it's the door that he also leaves him as well. It's another barrier. Once Gon leaves his apartment, Killua can no longer follow him even though he wants to.
Killua's stomach twists and he feels cold. Gon always gives him a goodbye kiss. He always shows him affection by kissing him. He's never been in such a rush before... Killua glances at the clock. ...and he's not running late. Killua's blue eyes get deep, glaring at the door in front of him. Really...what is this horrible feeling?
Killua's ears twitch on top of his head and he glances back at Hisoka who is staring forward. He thought he would have something to say about that but he doesn't. He's covering his mouth, Killua is sure he's smiling behind It. Killua hisses at him, marching into the bedroom and shutting the door. He crawls into bed with his sister and wraps his arms around her, burying his head in her hair.
Her eyes open slightly before she curls into him and lets out a happy sigh. Killua touches her hair absentmindedly, trying to get rid of this horrid feeling.
Can Gon really think of him like Killua thinks of Alluka? If Alluka tried to touch him like a mate, it would bother him but make him sick?...Maybe. Does Gon really see him as family? Why couldn't' he have just asked him those questions? Now Hisoka's words are stuck in his head and all he has is the silence to think about everything.
Killua always over thinks things and it doesn't help that he already misses Gon's warmth and those amber orbs.
All these new feelings are swirling inside of Killua and he doesn't understand how to deal with them or what he should do. Killua tightens his grip on his sister. He wasn't taught how to get a human to love you. He wasn't taught what you should do when you show affection. He wasn't taught any of those things and even when he looks it up it's not helping.
Killua really wants Gon.
"Thank you again Komugi." Gon smiles, rubbing at his left eye as he speaks into his cell phone. "I really appreciate you watching them for me."
"No p-problem. It's my pleasure." Komugi chuckles. "S-Study as long as you need to. I'll give you your k-key back when you come."
"Thanks. I'll see you later."
"B-Bye Gon." Gon hangs up the phone and puts it back into his pocket just as Leorio comes into the room, sitting down next to him, handing him a glass of soda.
"Seriously Gon? You have to have a sitter for those three for just an hour?" Leorio grumbles. "You treat them like they're your kids. I never took you to be such a cat person."
"Me either. I'm finding new things about myself everyday." Gon rubs the back of his head, averting his gaze when Leorio keeps looking over at him. They're both sitting at Leorio's kitchen table. After school they had come straight here to start studying. Books cover the table and Gon can feel the headache already starting.
"So...Did you take care of your urges?" Leorio takes a sip of his soda when Gon looks over at him with a blush on his face.
"I-I haven't been able to-"
"What you mean you haven't been able to? Find some time during the night!-"
"I can't do it Leorio!" Gon shouts in his frustration, getting Leorio's eyes to widen. "It's...it's too hard with the cats. They follow me everywhere and it would be too awkward to do it in front of them. I just don't know what to do." Gon holds his head in his hands. He really doesn't. After last night, everything has gotten worse. Now that he knows Killua looks at him like a mate, his urges have increased and he just wants to kiss Killua like they were last night. He wants Killua to touch him and he wants to be shoved against the wall with Killua pinning him-
Gon closes his eyes. See? So much worse. He could barely look at Killua this morning without having some sick thought. He knows he needs to do something but he's stuck!
"You could just throw the cats out, or better yet just get rid of all those damn cats! Especially Killua that one is an ass hole." Leorio grumbles. His eyebrows furrow when Gon shakes his head.
"I can't get rid of them and they get upset if I move them out of the room." Gon rubs his arm thinking about Killua, and how he freaks out if he can't be in the same room as him or if the door is closed.
"So? Just move them out! You need to take care of your urges!" Leorio sighs when he sees Gon shake his head stubbornly. "You're so strange. Really." He looks down at his book. His eyebrow twitches before he sighs. "You know Kurapika isn't here..."
"Yeah. You said he's working." Gon raises his eyebrow at Leorio, not getting the change in conversation.
"Well...I don't mind if you shut yourself off in our bathroom and you know." Leorio lifts his eyebrows twice. Gon gives him this confused look.
"I don't have to go to the bathroom Leorio-"
"Damn it Gon! What were we just talking about?" Leorio flushes. Gon stares at him for the longest time. What were they just talking about...oh...oh! Gon's eyes light up in realization, his face getting red.
"Oh... I see. I don't have the things you gave me though." Gon averts his gaze, kicking his feet, his heart beating faster.
"I have some lube you can borrow but I can't give you any of the toys. They've all been used." Leorio coughs when Gon wrinkles his nose. "So..uh yeah. You can go and...'use the bathroom.'"
"Um..I guess I can try." Gon stands up. This is going to be awkward but he really needs this. Especially now. He might not get another opportunity like this again. There's no way he can masturbate in his home with all those people. Killua always follows him around and he can not masturbate with Killua in the room.
"Yeah." Leorio stands up and walks into his bedroom. He comes out with a bottle of lube and hands it to Gon. Gon frowns when the bottle is sticky. "I'll start making our study guide. So...uh...take your time?"
"Okay." Gon walks into their bathroom quickly and shuts the door. He locks it and sighs in relief. It's been so long since he's been able to be in a bathroom by himself. Seriously. Gon washes the bottle off, getting rid of that sticky feeling before washing his hands. Gon can't believe he's about to do this but Leorio offered and...he's getting desperate.
Now how should he do this? He's never masturbated in a bathroom before. Should he sit on the toilet? Or in the bathtub? Does it even matter? Gon takes a deep breath, pulling down his pants and boxers. He takes off his shirt, grabbing the lube before sitting in the tub. He pulls the curtain. He sits there for the longest time, his heart hammering in his chest. Okay...there's nothing to worry about here so...away he goes. Gon lays his back against the wall, putting his hand on his bare thigh. He swallows, moving his hand down, touching his soft member lightly.
He's not turned on. This is very uncomfortable. He doesn't like the tub idea much.
Gon takes a deep breath. He's so tense. He can feel it. It's not like he hasn't masturbated before so why does this feel so...forced? What should he think about? The first image that comes to mind is Killua in those boxers, showing off his smooth things...
There's a twitch of life down there and Gon blushes. He shakes his head, trying to stop that thought before it grows. He slaps his hot cheeks. What's the point in doing this if he's going to think of Killua? Won't that make it worse?...or maybe it would help control his urges on the real Killua? But the idea of masturbating to Killua makes his stomach twist in both want and disgust. Even if Killua thinks of him like a mate, is it okay? Killua is so young and how does Gon know he really means what he's saying?
Thinking about that gets Gon thinking about last night. He remembers how Killua just showed him against the wall, kissing him deeply. He remembers how big Killua had felt against his thigh and how his hand felt rubbing at Gon's bulge. Killua's voice had gotten so low and he was looking him over like he was hungry and...oh. Gon glances down when he feels his heat pool and sure enough, he's completely hard.
And it's because of Killua.
Gon swallows down his feeling of guilt. This what he came in to do. He needs to...get rid of these urges so he's not hurting Killua. He needs to keep this side away from him. Gon takes a deep breath as he squirts some lube into his hand, warming it between his palms before slicking up his shaft. Gon's breathing becomes uneven from just touching it, feeling the pleasure of carnal sin. Gon's eyes eyes slip shut and as he strokes himself, he tries to keep his mind blank...
But soon that changes.
He thinks about Killua jerking him off like this, looking at him with those strange blue eyes that always watch him. He thinks of those smaller fingers working him, picturing Killua's smirk when Gon lets out a breathy moan. Gon can't stop now. He strokes himself roughly, imagining it was Killua the whole time. His body gets so warm, his breathing coming out in puffs and moans.
"I want to mate." Killua's dark voice resurfaces, Gon arches back, spreading his legs slightly. Gon covers his eyes with his hand, whimpers escaping his lips with his groans of pleasure, not able to stop his train of thought or the pooling feeling in his stomach. Images come that he had tired to suppress like Killua's naked body. He can remember everything about it. To his muscular chest down to the dip of his waist, the V line of his hips and that well hung cock. How could he forget those silky thighs and his smooth, cute ass.
Gon's eyebrows furrow, whatever was holding him back before is forgotten, it feels too good. He thinks about Killua licking up his neck, he thinks of those sharp canines biting into his shoulder, he thinks about how Killua's face gets flushed and how it's so cute...Gon feels like he's getting closer, the pressure building up and he's starting to sweat. He thinks about those razor like nails and Killua trailing them down his body so lightly...He thinks of that mouth and all the things he could do to it. Images of Killua with Gon's cock in his mouth surface and he groans loudly.
The pressure keeps building and building...Gon cries out when he finally cums, finishing at the thought of thrusting into Killua's cute little ass, having him moan for him, and flush. He cums hard, his seed getting on the wall of the tub as Gon keeps stroking himself, riding out his orgasm.
Gon breathes heavily, his chest heaving, with his hand still covering his eyes. There's a pleasant hum in his brain that soon leaves him as the effects of his arousal were off. Everything comes back to him and all those thoughts that had pushed him to completion...now hang in the air, heavy like a victim on a noose. An like a noose around the neck, Gon feels like he can't breathe. He's committed a crime. Those thoughts...oh god what was he thinking?! How could this be any better? Did he really think about having sex with Killua like that? Gon took all those innocent moments and warped them into something perverted and dirty.
Gon moves his hand away from his eyes, trapped water escaping and falling down his cheek. He sits up, feeling numb as he leans against the tub, letting the blood go to his brain. His shoulder shake. He said he loves Killua didn't he? So why...can't he stop this? Why did he think about doing all those dirty things to Killua? Those thoughts never once crossed his mind before. Gon felt warm around Killua and his touches had gotten him hard but he never thought about having sex with Killua or...or all those other things.
If Gon knew that would have happened, he would have never have done this. This hasn't made him feel better. He feels worse. Gon turns on the shower and lets the water wash away the evidence but the sin still is fresh in his mind. He turns the water hot, and it burns him. The pain is welcomed. He ends up puking in the tub, his own bile touching his leg before getting sucked up in the drain. Gon hugs his knees to his chest and just stays there for awhile.
Gon cares about Killua doesn't he? Then how could he sit there and pleasure himself to the thought of doing those things with such a young boy? Wasn't he suppose be forgetting about all these feelings? They're worse than he thought. Way worse.
I'm sorry Killua...you thought I was better than those men...
Gon bites his lip, bowing his head, letting the water soak him completely.
But i'm just like them.
Killua glares at this woman from the corner, his eyes narrowed at her. He sits with his tail flicking behind him, in his cat form. Alluka is currently being petted by Komugi, his sister is purring. She's taken a liking to her. Killua could careless. He just wants Gon to come home. It's been more than a couple of hours. He's getting restless.
It doesn't help that he wasn't able to make Gon food for dinner or do much else around the house. It's been boring. This human hasn't turned on the TV, she's just been playing with Alluka and Hisoka the whole time. That's all good and dandy but Killua doesn't want to play with her.
Killua's ears perk up and he glances at the door, his pupils getting bigger when the door unlocks and opens. Even as a cat, his heart does that strange flip when he sees Gon walk into the room and close the door behind him. The happiness and relief Killua feels is put out when he sees how tired Gon looks.
Killua rushes over to him and starts to rub himself against Gon's legs, wanting to mark him and to also give him some form of comfort. Studying must have been hard for him or maybe something else happened?
Gon glances down at Killua before looking at Komugi, rubbing his arm. "T-Thanks for watching them for me Komugi. I'll pay you once I get my pay check."
"Nonsense!" Komugi shakes her head, a big smile on her face. Gon blinks from seeing how happy she looks. "I really like watching your cats. They're so nice. They were all angels."
"I'm glad to hear it. I'll be sure to reward them for their good behavior." Gon smiles at Komugi as she says her goodbyes to Alluka, rubbing her head before standing up. "I still need to pay you though-"
"N-Nope." She smiles. "Call me anytime to watch them!" She starts to hand back the key. Gon looks at it before he pushes it back towards her.
"Keep it. It's another spare I have. That way if there's an emergency, you can just go into my home to watch them."
"Okay." She smiles. "I better get back. Though they probably won't notice I'm gone anyway." Gon opens the door for her, watching as she walks out.
"Be careful Komugi." Gon watches till she gets inside her home before he closes and locks the door. "Good job you guys. She looked really happy. I'll have to get you guys a treat when I go to the store." Gon turns around, flashing them a smile.
"Ohh I want strawberries!" Alluka turns into a human first, jumping on the couch, her ears twitching in her excitement.
"I like strawberries." Hisoka purrs as he turns back, stretching his body out.
"...Get me chocolate." Killua turns back into his human form. He notices how Gon looks away from him abruptly. Killua's ears go back, a frown turning his lips.
"Strawberries and chocolate it is! Lets all get dressed." Gon claps his hands. All the cat like humans quickly go to find their clothes and put them back on. Gon sighs in relief and he smiles tiredly at everyone. " Did you have fun with Komugi?"
"Yeah! I really like her!" Alluka's blue eyes are shinning. Her ears flatten slightly. "Is something wrong with her eyes? I noticed they look...kind of strange."
"Komugi is blind. She can't see."
"What? She can't see anything? Oh..." Alluka's ears flatten.
"Can't see anything?" Killua considers this. So that human is defected? And Gon is still her friend? He is so kind to everyone. At the lab, defection means death. Killua looks at Gon and notices he's not looking at him. At all. Killua's tail moves around. "How was studying? You look tired." Killua catches the tensing of Gon's shoulders and the way those amber eyes get this strange look.
"It was okay. I got a good amount of studying done." Gon rubs the back of his head. "I'm still worried about the final tomorrow that's for sure."
"You can do it Gon!" Alluka cheers.
"Yeah. You're always studying. You'll pass and then we can get ice cream again." Killua tries to get himself hyped up. It pays off when he gets a smile from Gon and it's directed towards him.
"Thanks guys. I'll try my best. I can't fail." He grips his fist, those amber eyes burn with that fire but...Killua can tell. It's not as bright.
"...What do you want me to make you to eat? You should take a bath or something to relax-"
"I'm not hungry. It's okay. I ate at Leorio's." Gon rubs his arms. Hisoka raises his eyebrow in interest, watching from the couch. Just as he said, he's been keeping his distance but those yellow eyes are always watching. Killua can smell the sweat on Gon. "I think I'm just going to head to bed. I still don't' feel too good."
"Then you should lay down." Killua starts following after Gon into the bedroom. "I'll play with your hair to help you to sleep." Killua knows how Gon likes that-
"No." Gon says quickly, getting Killua's ears to go back in alarm. That feeling twists his stomach again and he doesn't know what to do. Gon has never turned down his hair being rubbed. Gon has been resistive to his touch all day...He barely showed him any affection. "N-No thank you Killua." Gon corrects himself but he doesn't turn back to look at him as he crawls into bed, pulling the covers up and over his head.
Killua just stares at the lump in the bed, his ears flattened. That strange tension in the air has grown and Killua doesn't like it. Why didn't Gon take off his clothes? He usually does that before getting into bed...and why is he hiding under the covers?
"Gon...what's wrong?" Killua asks quietly.
"Nothing is wrong." Gon says after awhile, the lump shifting. "I'm just...really tired."
"...You've..." Killua wants to question him. If he asks him why he's been weird about his touch today, then he'll know his answer. He'll know if his touches make him sick. But Killua is too...scared. It terrifies him. He doesn't know what he would do if Gon told him that he sickens him.
Instead of speaking, Killua crawls into the bed, he can feel the lump stiffen. Killua pauses before he gets under the covers. Gon has turned so his back is towards Killua. The air under the blanket is hard to breath in but it's okay. It's filled with Gon's scent. "You've been a jerk today." Killua tries to play it off. "Barely showed me any affection even though I made you breakfast."
Killua wanted Gon to respond by chuckling or maybe even turning around to give him the affection he's been missing today. His response is what he didn't want the most.
Gon stiffens up. "I'm sorry."
The air is even worse now. Killua's ears flatten. "I mean...I'm not really angry about it or anything. You don't have to get all tense about it." Gon doesn't respond to him. Killua knows he wants to sleep but...something is wrong about this air and this feeling. It's hurting him. "You could rub my hair or something." Killua offers, touching Gon's back-
Gon tenses up so bad that Killua quickly removes his hand, his ears going back. "Killua I'm trying to go to sleep."
Killua feels something in him sink and he swallows thickly. "O-Oh." Killua wants to respond with anger but that's not what' he's feeling right now. Gon has never brushed him off like that. What happened? Why is Gon being like this?...Killua bites his lip. Is it because he expressed his want of having Gon as a mate?
Killua's lips tremble. He doesn't like Gon having his back to him. Even though he's right next to him, he feels so far away.
Killua's ears perk up when Gon sighs. "I didn't mean to sound like that I just...Killua if you want me to rub your head, could you turn into a cat? If you do, i'll show you all the affection you want."
Killua's heart lifts back up, those blue eyes lighting up. He raises his eyebrow despite his happiness. "Why do I need to be in my cat form?"
"It's easier to pet you and you can lay on my chest if you want."
"...Alright." Killua wouldn't refuse. Not Now. He yearns for Gon's nice touches. It doesn't matter what form he's in. Killua closes his eyes, ignoring the stinging pain he feels as he turns into a cat from being a boy. He meows, pawing at Gon's back. The older man turns so he's laying on his back. Letting Killua climb on his chest. Killua gets himself comfortable, sticking his claws in Gon's shirt before he curls up, on his chest. He purrs when Gon starts to rub his head, and he leans into his hand, yearning for this touch all day.
"I know I've been a jerk...today has just been..." Gon trails off as he scratches behind Killua's ear. "I want to do my best and take care of you. I want to make you happy but I...I'm not doing a good job." Killua opens his eyes, giving Gon a questioning look. What is he talking about? He is happy. He is doing a good job taking care of him.
"Meow." Killua wants to go back to his human form so he can communicate with him. He's about to do just that when Gon pushes his head into his chest, rubbing behind his ear.
"I'll try harder Killua." Gon smiles at him before closing his eyes. Killua nips at his shirt, trying to get him to let him go. He doesn't understand where this is coming from. Gon has done everything for him. What is he talking about he needs to try harder? Is it because Killua complained that he didn't give him enough affection?...He didn't want Gon to feel bad. He just wanted more affection and for this strange feeling to disappear.
Killua wiggles out of Gon's hands so he can rub his head against Gon's cheeks before licking him. Gon smiles and it warms Killua's heart. He wants to hold Gon. He can only hold him in his human form- Gon presses him down on his chest once again, rubbing behind his ears nicely. Killua purrs, liking this treatment but he really wants to touch Gon.
Alluka walks into the room, and jumps into the bed. The covers are still over them but soon Alluka gets under the covers and smiles. She has some of her coloring books, and she starts coloring, turning on her stomach to get more comfortable.
Soon enough, Gon is asleep, his hand left on Killua's back. It's heavy with his sleep. Killua watches him like he always does but this doesn't seem right. He doesn't want to be in this form. He wants to feel Gon with his fingers tips and kiss him with his lips. He can only do that as a human.
Killua would have never thought he'd see the day where he wanted to be human. All his life he despise those scientists for turning him into this. He hated them for making him half human but now...now that he's met Gon, he's almost grateful. If he was just a regular cat, he would never be able to kiss Gon or talk with him or laugh about funny things or hold him. He cursed the human race up and down in the lab and he hated looking in the mirror and seeing himself looking like one of them but now...He longs to turn into that form?
He finds that he doesn't despise his human form anymore. It's his connection to Gon. He even finds himself...wanting to be more human. Or to at least know more about humans. He's been doing research. He did even more today.
Gon has changed his outlook on everything. He's opened his eyes and mind. Even with all the pain those bastards caused him in the lab, even with all his years of cursing the human race...that's all gone with Gon. It melts away and all that's left is his warmth and this yearning feeling.
Once Gon is good and asleep, Killua wiggles his way out of Gon's hand. When he doesn't wake up, Killua turns back to his human form. He sighs in relief at feeling Gon's chest on his and he curls up on his body, tangling up their legs. Gon's arm moves and wraps around him, much like he's hugging a teddy bear.
Killua flushes, purring happily being held by Gon as he lays his head next to the older man's. This is nice. Much better. Killua can't stop himself from taking in Gon's scent, nor can he stop himself from watching as this man breathes.
Having Gon's arms around his waist, having their chest pressed together...It's a lot better than being a cat laying on a human's chest.
So soft...Gon smiles to himself, nuzzling his pillow or whatever it is that's so soft on him right now. He doesn't' feel like opening his eyes yet. He had this awesome dream about him working at a hospital and he came up with the cure for cancer and a lot of lives where saved. He also had a dream that he turned into a cheeseburger and Leorio tried to eat him...Even if those dreams probably couldn't happen, Gon loves having dreams. When he dreams, it makes it harder for him to get out of bed. They're like mini free stories in his head.
Gon strokes up and down this nice feeling thing on top of him. Smooth and soft. Firm too. The texture is a little bumpy at some points but Gon doesn't mind. He feels over the rough spots, wondering what that could be. Gon's eyebrows furrow when the pillow starts to vibrate, a deep rumbling sound coming from it. Okay well that's...Gon freezes when the pillow moves and soon he realizes in his hazy mind that this is no pillow.
"Gon..." Killua purrs, kissing him on his cheek and in the corner of his mouth. Soon those soft lips are on his own. Gon feels his heart hammer and he takes a sharp take of breath, his amber eyes snapping opening, completely waking up. Killua pulls away from the kiss, those blue eyes soft, his white locks in his face and tickling Gon's neck and cheek. Gon's hand is on his lower back, dangerously close to his bottom. He was stroking Killua's back and those rough parts had to be his scars. When Killua leans in again, his tail waving around, Gon feels a panic grip him.
"Ah!" Gon yelps, pushing Killua off him as much as he can. The shout Gon lets out must startle Killua because his ears go back and he gasps, jumping off of Gon, and pressing himself against the wall. Gon breathes heavily, they both do, staring at each other with wide eyes.
"W-What? Why did you scream?" Killua's ears twitch as he looks around. It seems he was half awake as well.
"I...You..." Gon is too warm. The tightening of his pants is just a reminder. "You scared me. I wasn't expecting you to be on top of me. I thought you were a pillow."
"I usually sleep on you." Killua grumbles, rubbing at the ears on the top of his head. "Don't just yell when I'm all comfortable idiot."
"Hehe sorry." Gon rubs the back of his head, sitting up. Killua stares at him for a moment, Gon making sure to keep his eyes on his face before he crawls back on the bed. Gon gets off the bed quickly. "W-Well i'm going to get ready for school-"
"You have an hour before you need to get ready." Killua points out, jumping in the space where Gon use to be. Do doubt he was going to pounce back on him.
"I was going to head to school early to study some more right before the test. Get dressed Killua." Gon walks over to the bathroom, not looking at that tempting body. Killua follows him with his eyes before he gets up and walks off to get dressed. Once he's dressed, he's right in the bathroom with him. Gon didn't expect any less.
"Ugh Really? But you studied so much last night!" Killua grumbles closing the door behind him. Gon gets into the shower once again and pulls the curtains to get undressed. "Why can't you just relax for a bit?"
"I'll relax once I get home. Don't worry Killua, we'll do fun things together." Gon throws his clothes out and turns on the water. He knows Killua is probably missing him. He's been awhile a lot these past couple of days.
"...Do you feel better than you did yesterday?" Killua asks after awhile.
"Yeah a little bit. This final is just stressing me out." Gon closes his eyes, trying not to remember yesterday in the tub.
"I can tell. You've been acting funny. You're jumpy. I've never heard you shout like that when seeing me."
"I was just confused is all." Gon cleans himself up. He holds out his hand for a towel that Killua gives him. He drys himself off and walks out. He walks to the sink and starts to brush his teeth, Killua walking next to him to do the same thing. "That reminds me,I have to get Hisoka and Alluka tooth brushes!"
"I've been sharing mine with my sister. I don't really think Hisoka needs one." Killua grunts following after Gon once he walks out.
"Brushing your teeth is important. It can lead to infections so I'll have to get him one. It wouldn't be fair to him." Gon starts getting out his clothes.
"A lot of things aren't fair." Killua's tone of voice gets Gon to look back at him. Those blue eyes are darker and his body is slightly tense. "So what if he gets an infection? I don't even know if that's possible. We've been tested for that. Honestly I think we should starve Hisoka out."
"Starve him out? I can't do that Killua. Besides if he goes back to the lab, i'm sure he'll tell them about where you guys are at." Gon shakes his head getting on some new clothes. "A tooth brush isn't too much Killua and since you've been hunting, you've really cut back on the cost to have you guys."
Gon walks past Killua, those blue eyes are watching him intently, his ears back. Gon takes a deep breath before he walks out of the bedroom.
"Big brother?" Alluka starts to wake up, Gon can hear her soft voice. Killua says something to her but Gon can't hear. He's already in the kitchen making himself some cereal to eat.
"You're up earlier than normal." Gon glances over at Hisoka who was watching something on TV. Those ears twitch and he pouts at him. "Don't tell me you're leaving once again."
"I am. I have to study for the final. I'll be back later." Gon sits down at the table with his cereal, feeling a headache come on when Killua glares at Hisoka. He just needs to pass this final. That's all he's asking. Get the final out of the way so all he has to worry about is...this huge problem he has. Gon has been trying to keep his mind off of it but the guilt is there, weighing him down every time he looks at Killua's big blue eyes and that face of youth that he defiled.
"Don't over work yourself idiot." Killua sits next to him at the table, his tail waving behind him. Those blue eyes narrow at him. "You just got done being sick, don't make yourself sick again."
"I won't." Gon smiles but he smiles down at his food. He takes a couple of bites of his cereal before he feels a hand grip his chin and he's forced to look at Killua. The boy has a strange expression on his face, his eyebrows furrowed as those blue eyes search him for something. Gon swallows his cereal hard, his face warming, and his heart fluttering from feeling those strong fingers on his face- "W-What is it Killua? I'm trying to eat." Gon averts his gaze.
There's a period of time where Killua just holds his chin in place, those blue eyes staring at him intently till he finally lets him go. Gon sighs in relief only to sputter when Killua jabs him in his side, getting him to jerk. Killua's eyes widen when Gon chuckles, as if he didn't expect that reaction. "What was that for?" Gon swats his hand away when he touched his rib again getting him to laugh.
"I wanted to hurt you for being blah these past couple of days but...i didn't expect you to laugh. Is this a laughing spot for you?" Killua moves Gon's hand out of the way and touches his rib again, getting Gon to sputter in laughter. He scoots his chair away to get away from those dangerous fingers of his. Killua's eyes widen at the reaction but they're lighting up and his ears are twitching. His pupils get bigger as he hones in on the spot. "You humans have a laughing spot? Do you feel joy when I touch you there?" Killua scoots his chair closer to Gon, the older man can feel himself start to sweat.
"N-No it's not like t-that- Killua!" Gon tries to protect his ribs but to no avail. Killua is much faster than him and stronger. Gon can feel it, Killua easily rips his hands out of the way so he prob at his ribs. Gon throws his head back, not able to help it as giggles escape his lips. Killua's pupils keep getting bigger and soon he's out of the seat and touching him there with more vigor, those blue eyes so bright and his lips turning in this large, playful smile.
Gon wiggles trying to get away from this boy but he just ends up falling on the floor with Killua right after him. "No! Hahahahaha K-Killua...ha...Please!" Gon has tears at the corner of his eyes he's laughing so hard. Curse his ticklish ribs! He's powerless against Killua.
"But you're laughing so much! Why didn't you tell me you had this joy spot?" Killua chuckles himself, watching Gon's every movement so when he thrashes one way, Killua is there to touch his body. If Gon wasn't dying at this moment, he might have liked the bright look in Killua's face and how he smiles.
"Nooo! Haha! Killua- Can't breathe! Can't breathe!" Gon yells out, losing his oxygen supply from the attack. Killua's smile twitches into a frown and he quickly stops. Gon takes a deep breathe, his face flushed from exertion, and from Killua being on top of him. Killua breathes heavily on top of him, those blue eyes looking down at him with wide eyes.
"Big brother what were you doing to Gon?" Alluka peeks from around the corner, her ears back. She seems a bit worried from what she saw. Hisoka's pupils are big like he's tempted to just jump into the fun time. "I never seen him so wiggly!"
"I was just..." Killua reaches to touch Gon's ribs but he smacks it away.
"N-No more!" Gon pants, holding Killua's wrist when he had tried again. He giggles a little more, his body reacting to just thinking he's going to touch him again.
"But you looked like you really enjoyed it. I've never heard you laugh so hard." Killua tilts his head. "Why don't you like your joy spot being touched? Was it too much joy at once?-"
"It's not a joy spot." Gon can't help to chuckle at Killua's cuteness, patting Killua on the head, getting his eyes to light up again. He wipes the tears away from his eyes. "Some humans are ticklish. I'm not really sure why it happens to some and others not but...I read somewhere that it's teaches humans to guard these areas? It's strange but I guess it makes sense. When you touch someone where they're ticklish...it's like they lose all control and they're forced to laugh. If you tickle too much you can make someone lose their breath or even pee themselves."
"I see." Killua soaks all this in, all the while enjoying the attention he's getting from the older male, purring softly. "But It did look like you were happy. You humans have some strange defenses."
"Well it can be fun sometimes." Gon grins at Killua, reaching out to lightly touch Killua's neck. "I bet you're ticklish Killua! Somewhere." Gon's eyebrows furrow when he gets no reaction out of Killua. Usually the neck is a big ticklish spot. He tries under the chin but that only gets Killua to purr louder, leaning into the touch, those blue eyes sparkle.
"I've never experienced what you just did but you can search my body for this ticklish spot." Killua grins at Gon when he starts to pout when the neck doesn't do anything to him. Gon tries under Killua's arm pits next but Killua just tilts his head at him, smirking slightly. Gon moves to the ribs, nothing. He tries under the knees and even Killua's feet! Nothing!
"Mannn I guess you're not ticklish." Gon sighs, crossing his arms. He had wanted to get the younger boy back-
"Yeah but you are~" Killua jabs him in the rib getting Gon to sputter and crawl away from him.
"Killua noo! NO more!" Gon's heart beats faster, this happiness welling up in him similar to what a child feels playing with their friend. Those blue eyes have a tint of playfulness and mischievousness. A deadly combination. "I-I need to get going Killua!" Gon turns to start crawling away, trying to get up but Killua pounces on him easily, forcing Gon back down. Killua chuckles in his ear, getting Gon's heart rate to increase, a blush covering his cheeks. Gon is so happy Killua put on some clothes that cover him good. This is starting to become too much for him. Killua's laughter is adorable. This moment should be fun and cute but Gon is getting too warm which in turn makes his stomach twist in guilt and a panic to clench his chest.
"Big brother...?" Alluka tilts her head at the two. She's never seen her brother act like this before. She knows he's being really gentle but he's pushing Gon down. Her brother's laughter seems to put her at ease and she smiles from off the side. Hisoka is more interested in the expression of Gon's face and how it's starting to change, his lips curling up into a smile.
"You can't get away from me Gon." Killua teases, his fingers resting on Gon's ribs in warning. Killua's tail is waving around in a pleased way, it brushes against his leg every now and then.
"Killua I really have to go-" Gon tries to keep his voice even. He's realized something. If Killua really wanted to, he could keep him down on the ground like this. When Gon tries to push against him, he doesn't budge. Killua is a lot stronger than him. He wonders if Alluka is stronger than him? And then there's Hisoka...It doesn't bother him or anything. He's a bit curious though. Are they stronger because of the experiments?
"Do you really have to study? You're having fun." Killua says close to his ear and Gon swears Killua is the voice of temptation. The same voice that tells him to watch YouTube videos instead of studying or to eat that extra piece of pie he knows he should have. "And in this position, I'm the one deciding if you're getting up." He chuckles and it's playful. He has to wonder if he's being serious though-
"Poor Gon. Kittens can be extremely playful can't they?" Hisoka hums. Gon can feel Killua tense on top of him. Gon is relieved when he gets off of him though, he sighs in relief. That was close. Gon knew if that kept going on he was going to have a problem. Gon's stomach twists in that guilt as Killua helps him up, he's grinning at him. His expression is so bright, those blue eyes alight in the way that Gon loves.
"We were both playing around so fuck you. Gon had fun, right?" Killua is still grinning at him but those blue eyes change.
"Yes." Gon finds himself saying, smiling at Killua when his grin widens. Gon's eyes widen when Killua wraps his arms around Him suddenly, nuzzling his head aggressively. His purr is loud in his ear and Gon can feel himself warm. "I-It's time for me to go Killua." Gon pulls him away gently, averting his gaze from those strange eyes.
"I guess." Killua grumbles, his tail flicking in annoyance when Gon lets go of him and walks into the living room to put on his shoes.
"I want to know if i'm ticklish!" Alluka jumps on the crouch, wrapping her warms around Gon's neck from behind. "Also i'm going to color you a lot of pictures today!"
"I look forward to it." Gon chuckles, scratching behind Alluka's ear. Killua crosses his arms and puffs out his cheeks but he doesn't say anything. "I'm sure Killua could help you find if you're ticklish! And if you find his ticklish spot, feel free to share it with me." Gon whispers this, knowing full well Killua can hear. Those ears are twitching on top of his head before he narrows his eyes at Gon, a smirk coming to his lips.
"Ha! I don't have one. Sis won't find anything and if she did I doubt she would tell you-"
"Okay! I'll tell you Gon!" Alluka giggles when her brother's face drops.
"Alluka you traitor!"
"Sorry big brother! But Gon got me coloring books." Alluka lets go of Gon so he can get up. Killua glares at her half heartedly, getting Alluka to giggle more.
"I could help you find your ticklish spots Alluka~" Hisoka inches closer to the smaller girl. Killua is in front of her in a flash, glaring darkly at Hisoka.
"You won't be touching my sister you creep!"
"Hisoka don't creep on Alluka." Gon sighs. Hisoka's ears twitch and he looks at Gon like he's confused.
"I never creep on anyone."
"Like hell you don't!" Killua's eyebrow twitches.
"You wound me." Hisoka sighs, putting a hand to his heart before he smirks over at Gon. "But at least i'm not the only creep huh Gon? We both have a certain kind of taste."
Gon was getting on his jacket when he had said this. He tenses up, looking over at Hisoka with wide eyes. His face gets pale when he sees how those yellow eyes gleam at him. He feels like he could be sick. Does Hisoka know? Is it that obvious? He must know! Those yellow eyes are seeing right through him. And he's right. He's absolutely right. Gon is a creep. He thought he was an okay human being but after his actions last night and the thoughts he had about this young boy...
"Gon isn't anything like you. Don't call him a creep, you're the only creep here!" Killua growls at Hisoka. "Don't take that from him Gon-" Killua turns his eyes on Gon. His ears go back when he catches the deep frown on his lips and how he's averting his eyes downward. "Oi...You can't seriously be letting what this guy says get to you? I mean, just look at him!"
Hisoka wiggles his fingers in a strange way to wave hi. Killua frowns when Gon doesn't even look at him or Hisoka. "Oi! Look at him! He's the biggest creep of them all! You're not a creep-"
"I have to go or i'll be late for my exam." Gon zips up his jacket before he opens his door, the cold air coming through, caressing Gon's cheek.
"Good luck on your exam- oi wait-" Killua starts but Gon walks out and shuts the door behind him. Gon swallows, letting the cold numb him as he walks down the stairs, his face getting flushed.
Oh Mito...are you embarrassed of me?
Gon hopes that she couldn't see him last night. He hopes she doesn't know anything about this. He's really crossed the line now. He couldn't be in there any longer. The guilt was killing him. He couldn't stand hearing Killua stand up for him like he's a good person. No. Killua doesn't know what he did with his image yesterday. He doesn't know the thoughts that went through his head.
If he did know, Killua would surely think he's a creep.
Killua's ears go back at again not getting a proper goodbye from Gon. He's upset too. Killua's eyes get dark and he slowly looks at Hisoka who looks at him with a blank expression.
"What?"
"Don't 'what' me. Do not insult Gon or compare him with your nasty self." Killua narrows his eyes. "You upset him and made him had that weird look again. I had gotten it to go away but then you come and have to ruin everything like always. Can't you just crawl in a corner and die somewhere?"
"I never called Gon a creep directly." Hisoka chuckles. "Though it was a surprise to see him react so much to it. I wonder if someone has been calling him a creep recently?"
"Huh? Who would be calling Gon a creep?" Killua's ears twitch and he frowns. Gon did react strongly to that word. He's sure it can't just because Hisoka called him it.
"I have no idea." Hisoka hums.
"What if that mean man that Gon spilled a drink on called him a creep?" Alluka's ears twitch as she comes up with this.
"You think so?" Killua's eyes narrow at the thought. Have those humans were he works been insulting Gon? Why didn't he tell him?
"Or maybe he thinks of himself as a creep." Hisoka adds, more like he was talking to himself but Killua had caught it.
"Why would he think of himself as a creep? I use to think Gon didn't have any friends but...he does have friends. He seems to be following social norms." Killua grumbles the last part. "I've done research and Gon seems good by human standards. He has a job, goes to school and has his own place. He has friends and he has a mate interest, me. So there's nothing here that makes him a creep. Not by my standards or human, so why would he think that?"
"There's a big issue with you being his mate interest." Hisoka's tail flicks. "My, must I do everything for you?"
"What the hell is that suppose to mean?" Killua snarls, gripping his fist. "Just yesterday you were telling me that Gon didn't think of me as a mate interest. You tried to make me believe that I was like family to him. And it's been fucking with me-"
"It's sad really. You're so insecure. You won't be able to get Gon at all." Hisoka sighs. "This is getting less fun. You didn't react the way I wanted at all. Though it was amusing to see your broken expression it was only amusing for so long. I grow bored-"
"My feelings aren't meant to be for your entertainment bastard." Killua wants to rip this guy's throat out. He really does. His fingers are twitching and his blood lust can be smelt in the air.
"Now, now. Listen to me and you won't regret it." Hisoka puts his finger in the air. Killua stares at him for a moment before crossing his arms. Hisoka smirks. "Good boy~ When you were touching Gon a couple of nights ago, what happened? What did you smell?"
"...He was aroused." Killua thinks back, his hear beating faster thinking about it.
"Yes. Your insecurity let you believe my words. He would not be getting aroused if he thought of you as a family member silly kitty-"
"Don't ever call me that again." Killua wrinkles his nose but his heart is lifting. He knew it. So why did he let Hisoka's words bother him so much? He over thinks things and he got himself all freaked out about what Hisoka said. It made it awkward to touch Gon for the past couple of days before he didn't know if he was making him sick. "I hate you. I really do."
"Aww now don't say that. I'm being nice and helping you out." Hisoka chuckles darkly. "but your touch has been making him sick. He's attracted to you and he gets aroused by you, so why would he get sick?"
"Um..." Killua's ears flatten. Does he get sick? Is that what that strange look he's been seeing on Gon's face means? And why he's been averting his gaze from him? And not touching him as much? Killua's stomach twists but he feels like he knows the answer. "...My age?"
"Bingo!" Hisoka purrs. "That look he has, is guilt. Such a rotten thing. A human emotion. Because of the social norms..."
"Gon thinks he's a creep for being attracted to me?" Killua's eyebrows furrow and he looks down at his hands. That's so stupid though. Gon is Gon. He's not a creep. And he's not that much younger than the law names him an adult. Why would he feel so bad for it? It's a natural thing isn't it? Killua really likes Gon, so it's natural that Killua wants to mate with him. He feels no guilt for it or any other bad emotion. Gon's gender and age mean nothing to him.
"You finally got it." Hisoka chuckles.
"I don't think Gon is a creep for that." Alluka frowns from her spot on the floor. She had started coloring, humming to herself. "I'm really happy that Gon really likes big brother!"
"So because of what some stupid Humans said, Gon is feeling guilt? It's because of their stupid law?" Killua narrows his eyes, his chest burning up. He'll be damn if some humans are going to tell Gon what he can and can't do. Killua isn't going to let those humans control Gon or make him feel bad for what comes natural.
"Yesss...but I think it's more to it than that." Hisoka hums, tapping his finger on his lips.
"What are you talking about?"
"I've helped you enough. I'm sure you have enough information to get this moving yes? This sexual tension has been getting me down. I'm ready to see you two mate-"
"Like i'm going to let you watch." Killua growls, feeling that possessive flare in his chest.
"So mean." Hisoka's eyes gleam. "I will have my fun."
Killua moves away from Hisoka to sit next to his sister, having to get away from him or he'll end up fighting him again. Despite his irritation...Killua feels a bit better. It all comes back to Killua's age. But after reconfirming with himself that Gon does want to mate with him, that he does get arousal by him, Killua is okay with that. If Gon loves him like a mate, if he gives him the highest affection, Killua knows that his age won't matter. Gon just has to see that those humans are stupid for making such a law.
Killua has been feeling like shit these past couple of days. He's been fighting with his urges of just holding Gon down and taking him, and having a panic attack because of Gon's strange treatment towards him.
It's been two days since he's received a kiss of affection from Gon. That enough makes him feel anxious and irritable. And he's been pushing him to the side and not looking at him as much. It bothers Killua to hell.
He's going to throw these insecurities to the side. He's going to take Gon tonight and he's not going to take no for an answer. That law means nothing to him. Killua is going to show Gon that he can make him feel good, despite that law being there.
Killua is going to have Gon tonight and there's nothing those dirty humans can do about it. These feelings he has for Gon...they've grown so much since the first day he's laid eyes on him. It's all new to him but if Killua could put a name on it...it would be love. He loves Gon. He wants to always be around him. He wants to follow him everywhere. He wants to hear him laugh and he wants to play around with him. He wants to touch him and smell his scent. He wants to mark him. He wants to taste him.
Gon has become...precious to him. That's the word Gon used for him but he also feels the same way. He just has trouble expressing these new emotions with words he never had to use before.
So he'll use his actions, and any word that he can choke out to get Gon to be his.
Killua's eyes shine and he grabs the labtop, grabbing his sister by the hand before pulling her into the bedroom. Hisoka smirks watching them go, a pleased smile on his lips from seeing that expression.
Killua will do so much research. He will get more words to say to explain this. He'll find the proper way of doing it. He can't hold these back much longer, not when he's feeling sure of himself.
He won't let Humans stand in the way of what he wants. Their doors couldn't hold him back and neither can their laws.
Nothing is going to hold him back from Gon.
"I failed...I know I did." Gon whimpers, laying his head on the desk. Everyone has finished and are gone, except for him and Leorio who are still sitting there in shock.
"Uh...what did you put for number 8-" Leorio starts to question him, Gon shakes his head quickly.
"Don't Leorio. I don't want to talk about it." Gon rubs his head, closing his eyes tightly. He couldn't focus at all. His mind couldn't function. After getting his first rape victim question he was done. So done. Gon feels like the earth could just open up beneath his feet and swallow him whole and he'll be okay with that.
"Don't look so down Gon. I'm sure you didn't fail!" Leorio pats him on the back, those brown orbs looking him over before he frowns. "Man...you're really pale and tense. Did you...take care of it yesterday-"
"I did. I made it worse. It was a mistake." Gon mumbles, his stomach twisting. Leorio stars at him a moment before he puts his arm around his shoulder, pulling him closer.
"I can't deal with a stressed out Gon! I'm the one who's suppose to be pulling my hair out, not you. You look like you're about to kill over. So how about me and you have a guys night out? Huh? What do you say? We can cerebrate finishing these stupid classes. We can go out to eat, go to the party our fellow classmates are having and get drunk off our asses! I'm not going to take no for an answer-"
"That sounds...good." Gon relaxes in Leorio's hold. He needs to be out of that house. He needs to think of what he's going to do. He's driving himself crazy. Going out with Leorio sounds nice. He hasn't been able to in awhile. Gon frowns when he thinks of Killua at home but...when he thinks of his actions, he thinks it's for the best. He can't go home to Killua right now. He's dreading it.
"Come on you have to- what wait? It does?" Leorio's eyes widen at Gon agreeing to it, those brown orbs shinning with excitement. "Well alright! That's what I'm talking about! Lets go and get something to eat. I'll call Kurapika. I'm starving over here." Leorio jumps up, pulling out his cell phone, looking cheery. Gon watches him dial a number which reminds him...
He has to call Komugi and ask her to sit for him again.
Gon is about to get his phone out when Leorio looks over at him...and he smiles at him. "It'll be alright."
Gon smiles back at him. He's sure it won't be alright though.
Once they've both made their phone calls (He's so happy that Komugi loves sitting them so much. She's really been helpful. He needs to give her a good pay), they head out of the classroom. Leorio is talking about all the booze he's going to drink and how they should play beer pong. Gon listens to it, trying to focus on Leorio and nothing else.
A student walks by with headphones in, his music blaring so loud that Gon can hear it. He feels his stomach sink at the words.
"But I'm a creep...I'm a weirdo. What the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here-" And then Gon can't hear anymore because he's walked off.
Creep...
Leorio hits him hard on the back. Laughing loudly about something he must have said but Gon missed it. He gives him a smile but it feels tired.
Gon is worn out and though he normally doesn't drink, tonight will be an exception. Leorio always tells him how he can drink his stress away...
Gon hopes alcohol can do the same for him.
Merry Christmas everyone!