Disclaimer: Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo and those people/companies that publish Bleach. I own nothing except my meagre attempts at playing in his sandbox.
Warnings: Pretty much everybody's mouth, described violence (it IS Bleach, after all) Also unbetaed
I'm not 100% on this chapter. In fact, I rather cringe at bits of it, considering how hard it was to write and edit, but I've given up fussing.
(Everything's green) - Subconscious flow of thoughts
(*Why is everything green?*) - Uryuu actively thinking
(*Because it is.*) - Ichigo actively thinking
(*Who th'hell cares?!*) - Shiro actively thinking
(*Peace, hollow.*) - Old Man Zangetsu actively thinking
"You know, if you keep hiding out in here, Tessai won't hesitate to drag you out."
Kaito looked up from the books he had been studying and just waited for Urahara to get to the point of his visit. He knew he had retreated from the others of the shoten after his uncomfortable talk with the man a few days ago, but had he finally pushed Urahara to the limit of his patience?
It wasn't as if he had completely retreated, either. He still ate meals with the others, still trained with Yoruichi every morning, still helped out after the shop was closed if it was asked of him, but… even the limited amount of socializing he had done outside of those times just felt like too much effort.
Numbness still hovered on the edges of his senses, coating everything in a flat grey that left him tired and unwilling. He only felt alive during his morning training and evening fight with Shiro or Ichigo in his mindscape. Those two points gave him an anchor to work out from; combined with the books that Urahara had presented to him the day after their talk and his own stubborn nature, he was determined to work through this and come out the other side.
"There's going to be a live filming of Don Kanonji's show soon," Urahara said without further prompting. "Ururu loves the show, and Jinta tries to pretend that he doesn't, so they'll probably ask if we can go see it."
Kaito sucked in a breath, as he tipped his head back and stared up at the ceiling blankly. He remembered that show, remembered standing there and watching Ichigo mess around while the demi-Hollow became a Hollow became a threat to the entire crowd. That ineptitude, the time it took for Ichigo to kill such a simple, newborn beast… that had been what had truly set his teeth on edge about his classmate. True, he had known ichigo was a Shinigami before that point, but it was then that he got to see exactly how rough around the edges the other teen way.
"Will you be alright to go?" Urahara asked, breaking through Kaito's thoughts. The man's voice was light, but a touch of concern curled around the edges, and his gaze was steady on Kaito.
(*We don't have to go,*) Ichigo offered. (*I handled it just fine before, and… I guess you were there too? Ahaha… I never noticed you…*)
(*Ichigo, until I confronted you, you didn't even know I was in your class. Forgive me if I'm not surprised you didn't see me there.*)
Ichigo's sheepish apology brought a hint of a smile to Kaito's lips. His friend's inability to remember names and faces was, frankly, hilarious at the extremes he took it too. Months in the same classroom with the other boy, and it took a fight for their life for the other to actually remember him. Of course, he hadn't been amused back then, had felt that Ichigo was purposely snubbing him which only drove his ire higher, but… looking back? Yeah, it was pretty hilarious.
(*We could use this to catch my past self's interest?*) Ichigo hesitantly suggested. (*I know you've been chewing over how to get involved.*)
He could, that was true. Kaito glanced to the side at Urahara, who was standing patiently at the door of his room, betraying nothing but calm as he waited for Kaito to give his answer. It all depended upon what Urahara did during the show, of course, but even being there in the man's company would catch Kuchiki's attention.
But the question remained. Did he feel capable of it?
Ichigo held his peace, neither urging Kaito on nor holding him back, just… letting him make up his own mind.
It was that, more than anything, that decided him. Ichigo was right, this was a perfect opportunity to start getting involved, and other than being a point of frustration there wasn't anything else wrapped up in the show that made him shy away from the thought.
"Alright," Kaito agreed, as he nodded at Urahara. "I should be fine. Kurosaki and… my past self will be there, but… I should be fine."
Urahara's gaze sharpened for a moment, before he nodded once, his jovial mask slipping back in place as his fan snapped out to shield the lower half of his face. "Sounds good then! Come along, dinner was being set out when I left to find you, so the others will be getting anxious to eat!"
Kaito followed Urahara out of his room and to the table, where dinner was indeed set out. Jinta shot him an unimpressed look, clearly grumpy at having to wait for Kaito and Urahara before he got to eat, while Ururu gave him a shy smile and a quiet 'good evening'.
He nodded in response to Ururu's greeting, then settled into his spot and served himself food, letting the chatter of the others wash over him as he ate. It had been awkward the first few times he had sat down; Kaito had almost expected either stony silence or attempts from everyone to draw him into conversation. Instead, they were content to talk around him, listening when he spoke up but otherwise willing to just leave him to himself. It was… comfortable in a way he'd never experienced before.
"A-ano, Urahara-san," Ururu spoke up into a moment of silence. Her blush darkened slightly at the attention she gathered by doing so, since she was normally almost as silent as Kaito at the table, but she forged on. "Uhm, I heard… I heard that there's going to be a live filming of Don Kanonji's show here soon! So, uhm, can… can we go?"
"Ooooh? You want to go?" Urahara asked, as he tapped his chin with his fan. "Well, I don't see why not! We'll make an evening of it, and all go together."
(*You know, I really thought he was just using the kids as an excuse to be around when Rukia told me about his reason for being there,*) Ichigo admitted, as he thought back. (*But, it really does look like those two are actively interested.*)
(*Not everything revolves around you, Ichigo,*) Kaito replied, amused at Ichigo's thoughts. He honestly wasn't surprised that Ururu and Jinta wanted to go — that crowd had been huge, and there were so many people that enjoyed Don Kanonji's antics. Even, Kaito admitted with a touch of embarrassment, himself. Why else would he have gone the first time around, before he was even fixated on proving Ichigo incompetent?
Ichigo's snort of disbelief had Kaito wryly accepting the irony of that statement. Perhaps this event hadn't been part of Aizen's grand scheme — and Kaito truly didn't know how many events were actually orchestrated by that traitor — but so many other things had been caused either directly or indirectly by Ichigo's actions that this single thing was just a drop in a bucket.
"That includes you, Kaito-kun," Urahara said, a bright grin on his face. If Kaito hadn't just had a conversation with the man about this exact topic, he would have thought this the first time Urahara had brought it up to him. "You need to get out more, and this will be a perfect opportunity to do so!"
Kaito sighed, as he caught sight of Ururu's pleading look and Jinta's sullen glower out of the corner of his eye. Clearly, the actually thought there was a chance Urahara wouldn't get his way with this, and so spoil their night. "Fine. But I'll have no part in any chaos that you create."
"What, little ol' me?" Urahara pouted at Kaito, one hand pressed against his chest as if wounded by Kaito's words. "I'm just a mere humble, handsome shopkeeper! The very idea that I'd create chaos, really! Children these days."
"Maybe if you didn't act like a child that would carry more weight," Yoruichi piped up. "Really, Kisuke. You'd think Kaito-kun was older than you, the way you act."
As Urahara squawked and protested, and Yoruichi kept ribbing her old friend, Kaito just sat back, cradling a cup of tea in his hands and watching the free entertainment.
The countdown had begun.
The rest of the week passed in a blur of training and attempting to prepare himself. Every night he retreated to the rooftop, practicing his reiatsu control until he could once more sense beyond his own reserves without having to call up spirit ribbons or concentrate on nothing but sensing. Kaito spent hours every night, just staring up at the dark sky and familiarizing himself with the reiatsu of his friends, and his past self, all over again. Their peaceful, steady presences helped to ground him further in the present, even as their steadily growing reserves told him time was running out.
Even with nights of effort, Kaito found himself hesitating at the edge of the Urahara Shoten's property line, as Urahara and the other three started to make their way down the sidewalk towards the show.
Clinging to the proof that Kurosaki was alive, that all his friends were safe, had done nothing to help him face the unblemished Karakura. In fact, he'd mostly ignored the town around him, even when he settled on the rooftop to practice. Recovery had seemed so much more important, and then training took its place as his crutch, as he continually justified reason after reason why he couldn't leave the shoten just yet. Now, hovering on the edge of the property line, Kaito felt as if he had been thrown head first into ice cold water and told to swim ashore alone.
He was a stranger here, with no place but what Urahara deigned to give him, and suddenly he just wanted to retreat back into the shoten and let events play out as they would. Surely if he told Urahara about important events, the man could handle everything himself?
Urahara tilted his head back, a knowing glint in his visible eye, and Kaito clenched his teeth in frustration and resignation.
A few large strides had him caught up with the group, and he squared his shoulders and tucked his hands away in the long sleeves of his shirt to hide the slight trembling he could feel starting. He could do this. He would do this. Urahara already had his own burdens to carry, and it wasn't right to offload his own onto the man who had already opened his home to him.
(*How much should we change, anyway?*) Ichigo asked thoughtfully. It was a question they had both asked many times over the past few days, but never really discussed beyond 'enough to save everyone'. And now their time had run out, leaving them with only a single vague directive to go by.
(*How much do you want to?*) Kaito asked as he silently followed the group. (*So much of what you went through this early helped you grow, didn't it?*)
(*Yeah, I guess. But a few less life-threatening experiences and a bit more actual training wouldn't go amiss. Like your ridiculous challenge. That wasn't very safe for anyone.*)
Kaito winced at the reminder of his own hubris. (*Sorry. I… really have no excuse for that.*)
The roar of a crowd drew him out of his head, and Kaito refocused on the world around him. The large crowd surrounded Kanonji's stage, just like he remembered it, their raucous and excited cheers filling the air with a white noise that was stunning in its volume. He had forgotten exactly how loud this event had been, and stuck close to Urahara's side as Tsukabishi forged them all a path through the gathering to the front. Memory had him glancing to his right, where his past self stood at the rope, watching in avid fascination.
A chill crawled down his spine, as he stared at the living proof of his doubled existence.
(*Huh, y'know, I think you do look different enough that no one will comment,*) Ichigo mused, as they both took in Ishida's straight, pitch black hair and square glasses. Even their clothing was such a pointed difference, drawing attention away from their remaining similarities. (*The glasses alone makes your face look different. Add the hair in…*)
Ishida turned his head, fixing them with a narrow, annoyed look before dismissing them for the moment.
Kaito swallowed and looked away, trying to banish the disorientation that had come of staring into a face that should be but wasn't his. Already he was starting to accustom himself to his new looks, blond hair and pale eyes and no glasses and all, and to see his real face looking back at him with such an expression on it…
(*You're such a pleasant person,*) Ichigo commented wryly.
(*I didn't have much use for… anyone, really, at this point. Especially Shinigami,*) Kaito admitted, as he focused on Don Kanonji on the stage, as the man began to torment the poor spirit. He hesitated, wavering between getting involved and just letting it all play out, before the choice was taken from his hands.
Kurosaki's leap over the barrier was just as startling to watch a second time as it was the first, even if he had been expecting it to happen. It took his breath away, as the disorientation roared back full force. Kurosaki — alive, well, blessedly whole — was overlaid with the pale, broken body of Ichigo. Kaito felt frozen, his fingernails digging furrows into his arms. All he could see was blood, blood and sand and Ulquiorra's emotionless visage. The roar of the crowd swelled in his ears, white noise that became the snap-hiss of lightning and his own panting breaths.
A hand clamped down on his shoulder. Reiatsu coiled loosely about his body. Kaito jerked away, sweeping an arm up to knock the person's grip aside, and settled into a stance before his vision cleared enough see Urahara standing in front of him.
Urahara's gaze was heavy, as he examined Kaito carefully before pulling his reiatsu back under control. As Kaito picked up the shards of his own control, he noticed the shimmer of a kidou fading out of existence around them. An awkward silence settled between them, with even Ururu and Jinta watching him warily from Tsukabishi's side.
Kurosaki's frustrated shouting drew Kaito's attention once more to the struggling teen, and he had to force himself to keep breathing as the world started to fade again. He could not… he would not let himself be crippled, unable to face the past version of his best friend.
"My, so rash!" Urahara mused aloud as the man came to stand next to Kaito. His tone was light, a teasing lilt to his words that he was clearly directing at Kurosaki's actions, but his gaze remained focused on Kaito. "I'm glad my son has learned to reign himself in!"
"Against all odds," Kaito retorted, as he clung to the conversation like a lifeline. "With a father like you, the odds are certainly against it."
"Ouch! Such a cruel son I have!" Urahara pressed a hand to his chest and gave Kaito a wounded look. When Kaito just gave him an unimpressed look in response, Urahara grinned and started making his way through the crowd to where Ichigo was being restrained.
Not wanting to be separated, especially after his episode, Kaito followed. Every moment he spent in the roaring crowd, hearing the shrieks of the tormented spirit, drove a spike deeper into his mind. It was all he could do to cling to reality, to Ichigo's murmured reassurances and Shiro's growled threats. His back itched, and a glance over his shoulder revealed Ishida's piercing stare, fixed firmly on them, though his past self wasn't yet doing anything but watch.
The world felt surreal, like he was just watching a movie play out as Urahara reached out with his cane to shove Kurosaki free of his body, sending the teen tumbling across the stage.
"Ow, dammit! Who the hell did that?!" Kurosaki yelled, as he picked himself up and glowered at his body, then at the people gathered behind it and the guards.
"Huh? Kisuke!" Kuchiki gasped, as he turned as best she could in the clutches of the guards to see who had shoved Kurosaki free so suddenly.
The look of shock on her face was a bit much, Kaito mused as he took it all in. It wasn't like there were any other people around with a habit of shoving people free of their bodies. Didn't she get most of her supplies from Urahara? Why was it so surprising that he'd be able to use them himself, then?
"Hiya!" Urahara chirped, as he flicked his fan open and waved at the two shocked people. "Shouldn't you be doing something right now? Go get him, Kurosaki-kun!"
With Kurosaki back on task and arguing futilely with Don Kanonji, Kaito exhaled slowly, listening to Urahara and Kuchiki's banter with only half an ear.
(You can't affect anything,) a part of him whispered. (Nothing you do will help. Nothing you do will change a thing.)
Kaito dug his fingernails deeper into his arms, feeling the first drops of blood well to the surface as he tried to banish the insidious voice. It was wrong. Things could be changed. Just by being here he was changing things. He…
(*Kaito!*) Ichigo barked, finally breaking through Kaito's spiraling thoughts. (*Look at Urahara.*)
Shocked into obeying, Kaito yanked his gaze from Kurosaki's flailing on stage and looked over at Urahara. The man was still bantering with Kuchiki, his fan covering the lower half of his face and his hat tilted down over his eyes, but his gaze was focused on Kaito, not Kuchiki, though he doubted she could see that from where she stood. Urahara tilted his head slightly and lifted his cane an inch or two from the ground, a questioning light in his eyes.
For one breathless, heart-stopping moment, Kaito wanted to refuse. To deny himself the chance because what if he failed? What if he made everything worse?
(If he did nothing, Kurosaki would die on that rooftop, and Ishida would be cursed. If he did nothing, it would all just repeat, again and again and again. Until a version of himself finally took a step forward.)
He took that step.
Like a striking snake, Urahara lifted his cane and shoved it into Kaito's chest the moment Kaito nodded in agreement. Kaito stumbled free, caught himself against the stage, and took a breath of air that suddenly felt so free. The world came into focus, his hands steadied, and suddenly everything seemed so clear. The looming shadows of Hueco Mundo were banished back into the depths of his memories and his spiraling thoughts ceased.
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw annoyance flash across Ishida's face, before the teen schooled his features again.
Well, that was one person's attention gained! Now hopefully Ishida didn't decide to fixate on him, because that would just be… awkward.
"Kisuke! What the hell?!" Kuchiki was shouting behind him, as Kaito hopped up onto the stage.
"Maaah, I trust my son!"
Kaito took in the situation at a glance. Don Kanonji's cane finally came free, tearing away the spirit's chain, and moments later an echoing boom erupted to announce the demi-Hollow's disappearance. Kaito couldn't help the amusement he felt at seeing Kurosaki's confused expression for a second time, it was just such a priceless moment.
(*Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. Did you know that happened?*)
(*No,*) Kaito admitted, as he bounded past the confused teen and used shunpo to flit up to the rooftop where he remembered the Hollow reforming. (*It was a surprise to me, too, that first time. But your face!*)
Ichigo's only response was to snort and give the impression of a glower.
Kaito materialized his dao as the Hollow began to form, shifting his stance and preparing to strike the being down as soon as the mask formed. (*Ichigo?*)
(*This was almost as dangerous as your challenge,*) Ichigo stated, as they watched the Hollow's body slowly form. (*And really, the only thing I learned here was that Kanonji's a good-natured idiot, demi-Hollows disappear before becoming Hollows, and big swords suck in small places.*)
Kaito had absolutely no words to respond to that. He hadn't actually known what had happened once Ichigo dragged Kanonji away inside the hospital, but if the awkward embarrassment he felt from his friend was telling, then it had to have been hilarious. He was almost sorry this Ichigo apparently wasn't going to experience that where he could see.
But… well, if Ichigo was okay with his past-self not going through it, then who was Kaito to contradict?
The newly formed Hollow's head emerged, and released the same chilling scream that Kaito remembered so well. He readied himself to strike, as the mask formed in a rush of white bone and flaring power, then lunged forward the moment it hardened.
The Hollow keened in pain, as it lunged aside at the last minute and Kaito's sword lopped off the rightmost point of the mask, instead of cleaving it cleanly in half.
"Tch," Kaito grumbled, as he lunged after the weak creature and finished it off wit ha vicious strike to the mask. He didn't even feel any resistance against his blade as it sheared cleanly through everything in its path.
The body tumbled off the edge of the roof, falling back down to the stage where Kanonji and Kurosaki were standing, both of them staring up at him in shock. Kaito carefully smoothed out his expression as he glanced down at the two, then out at the crowd, trying to spot Urahara.
He finally found him, standing at the back of the crowd, hat pulled down over his face and fan out to shield his mouth. With the distance and the way Urahara was standing, Kaito couldn't get a read of Urahara's reaction to his actions.
(*He asked if we wanted to get involved,*) Ichigo pointed out. (*He's a genius mad-scientist and over a hundred years old. If he didn't see this coming, I'll eat my sword.*)
With that amusing mental image in his head, Kaito allowed his sword to return to reishi and leapt from the roof back to the stage, landing to the side of the disintegrating Hollow so that its body was between him and Kurosaki.
"Eh? Who the hell are you?!" Kurosaki exclaimed, as he drew his sword and pointed it at Kaito.
Kaito snorted, folded his arms back into his sleeves to keep from doing something he'd regret, and arched an eyebrow at Kurosaki. "Such manners. Do you always point your sword at someone that helps you?"
"Wh— hey! Don't dodge the question!"
(*Ichigo?*)
(*Uh, yeah?*)
(*Both of our past selves were idiots,*) Kaito concluded, to Ichigo's amused, if reluctant, agreement.
"Hey, what's happening?" Kanonji interrupted them, as he shoved past Kurosaki and looked at the crumbling Hollow. "The monster's skin is crumbling away…"
Kaito frowned, as he glanced down at the Hollow as it returned momentarily to the soul that Kanonji had been tormenting earlier. He had forgotten that some Hollows fragmented away like that, hadn't known that this one did so, hadn't known that Kanonji didn't know about Hollows before this moment.
"It can't be," Kanonji said softly, barely loud enough for Kaito to hear him despite less than a foot of space separating them. "I cleansed that man's soul!"
"I told you," Kurosaki answered, as he stepped up to Kanonji's side, though his glare remained fixed on Kaito. "It wasn't a monster. It's called a 'Hollow'. Some spirits have chains attached to them… when they tear free, a hole is left in their chest. Then they become irrational monsters… Hollows."
"But…" Kanonji appeared to be at a loss for words, as he watched the spirit fade away.
"Enough," Kaito cut in, as he brushed past the other two on his way to the edge of the stage closest to Urahara. "It's over. Just keep in mind what you learned here."
"Yeah!" Kurosaki interjected, as he finally looked away from Kaito and focused on Kanonji. "I don't know why you never saw anything like this before, but there's no sense in feeling bad about it now!"
"I… yes, you're right," Kanonji agreed, as he gathered himself from the shock he had been dealt.
Kaito ignored him, and ignored Kurosaki's attempts at catching his attention, as he made his way through the crowd. Behind him, the man's bold "BOHAHAHA!" laugh echoed across the gathered crowd, as they all cheered another successful ghost-bust, no matter how strange the events had been.
"That was quite impressive!" Urahara told him, eyes glittering with laughter and a smile that his fan was likely hiding. "My son is quite a swordsman!"
Kaito scoffed and shook his head. "A newborn Hollow that I got the drop on is hardly a challenge. I'm going back to the shop."
Killing the beast hadn't been a challenge, hadn't even sparked a reaction from him despite the roar. It had been harder to stand in front of Kurosaki, to restrain his desire to reach out, to assure himself the teen wasn't just a mirage… and then to grab him by the shoulders and shake him until he rattled some self-preservation into that carrot-topped head of Kurosaki's.
Still, even with the emotional exhaustion of the event, he felt cleaner, lighter than before the show. He had changed something. It could be done. He wasn't helpless.
"Wh— hey!" Urahar shouted after him, as Kaito stalked off. "You forgot your gigai!"
"Carry it back yourself, old man!"
The next morning, when Kaito made it down to the training ground and was kicked out of his gigai as usual, he found Yoruichi still in her feline form, lounging atop a rock.
"Kisuke finished the tenshintai last night and brought it down," she informed him, with a nod towards the strange shape propped up against another rock nearby. "If you're sure you want to go through with this, stab your sword into it and you'll have three days to complete the training to gain your bankai."
"Right." Kaito moved the stand in front of the vaguely human-shaped object, summoning his dao to his hand as he did. He paused, took a breath, discarded his worries and hesitance, and stabbed his blade straight through the chest of the doll.
The blade shattered in his hand, dispersing into fragments of reishi and taking the doll with it into a whirlwind of power that flared emerald green for a brief moment before dispersing outward in a rush of power and dust that momentarily blinded him. When it settled, Kaito was surrounded. Zangetsu was standing by his right, and Shiro to his left, while Ichigo himself was standing directly in front of him, expression twisted into a faint smirk.
"You know, when Kisuke said you had three spirits I didn't believe him," Yoruichi commented, as she hopped over to a rock closer to the four of them and scrutinized them. "This is going to complicate things."
"Eh! What's so damn complicated?" Shiro asked as he shot a toothy grin at Yoruichi and bounced his blade against his shoulder. "Koneko's gotta fight all a'us and prove 'imself! It'll be great!"
Kaito only distantly registered the conversation, his focus trained and fixated on just Ichigo. It was one thing to face his friend in his mindscape, but here, in the real world, with Ichigo looking so much like his still living counterpart…
Oh, there were differences, Kaito knew, like the streaks of black through Ichigo's orange hair, or the touches of green in his attire in place of red, but overall his friend looked unchanged.
Ichigo's hand clapped his shoulder, startling Kaito out of his freeze.
"It's not so different," Ichigo reminded him, a faint quirk of his lips showing his amusement at Kaito's frozen state. "And hey! Maybe you can learn how to do this on your own!"
"And give everything away to anyone who sees you? No thanks," Kaito replied dryly, as he shook Ichigo's hand free and took a step back out of the trap as he eyed the three spirits that surrounded him. He hadn't expected all three to appear, just Ichigo, since his friend had stated that he was Kaito's zanpakutou. But this… "How is this going to change things?"
Ichigo gave a loose shrug, a smirk forming as he rocked back on his heels and pulled his dao free of its wrappings. "You'll just have to find out, won't you?"
"Meaning you don't know either."
Kaito leapt backwards, fleeing the silent Getsuga Tenshou that Ichigo launched at him without warning. Shiro's cackling gave him enough warning to dodge the doppleganger's strike, and it was only his instincts blaring a warning that let him escape Zangetsu's silent blow.
From that moment, the three spirits dominated the combat, herding him from blow to blow until blood-soaked dust coated his body and his breath felt like fire in his lungs. They worked together seamlessly, giving him no chance to catch his breath, no chance to do more than run and run and run until his legs wanted to give out and his every movement was agony.
He couldn't even summon any of his weapons. Not even his bow answered his call, leaving him with just a swirl of green reishi gathered in his palm and a gut-wrenching feeling of helplessness that saw him fleeing like a rabbit.
"Keep runnin', Koneko!" Shiro cackled, as he spun his sword over his head by the ribbon and launched it. "Keep provin' ya ain't worth our time! I'll have such fun as yer King!"
Shiro's words roused an anger in Kaito's heart, a rage at his own helplessness, and that surge saw him ducking aside instead of fleeing. His reishi-coated hand lashed out to grab the ribbon as it trailed past. He might not have access to his weapons, but that did not mean he was helpless!
Kaito couldn't yank the ribbon from Shiro's hands. Didn't even try. Instead he turned it on Ichigo, overriding Shiro's control to whip the blade around into Ichigo's face. He wasn't a master of it, but he really didn't need to be.
Ichigo's strike was spoiled. Kaito seized the opportunity, darting through the trap just as Zangetsu struck. Sword buried in a rock, the third spirit frowned and wrenched it free, only to go tumbling as Kaito yanked on the ribbon and sent Shiro straight into him.
He went on the offensive. Rocks, dust, their own strikes — anything that came to hand or crossed his mind. Slowly, he gained knowledge, learned how each responded, learned how they moved and thought and reacted when fighting alongside each other.
His breath came in harsh pants, as he fought to keep one step ahead of all three spirits. Even as he was adapting to their teamwork, so too were they adapting to his methods of striking back. It was everything Kaito could do to keep the three even slightly off balance. Their words didn't help, pointed barbs about his pride, about the futility of his actions, about how outnumbered and under equipped he was.
Still, blood dripped down Ichigo's face. Zangetsu was favouring his left leg. Shiro's white clothing was stained pink in several places. His own wounds were greater than theirs, but he had still managed to deal damage in the face of overwhelming odds.
Suddenly, all three spirits faded away, the tenshintai dropping to the dusty ground with a whump of displaced air.
"Day one's over," Yoruichi informed him, from her perch atop a huge boulder. "Come on, kiddo, let's get you patched up."
Struggling to get his breathing back under control, Kaito followed her deeper into the training ground, to a hidden little hot spring where she gestured for him to enter.
"Kisuke wants you to stay down here until either three days are up, or you gain bankai," Yoruichi informed him, as she took a perch nearby, smirking at the blush that started to creep over Kaito's cheeks. With the air of someone humoring another, she spun around so that her back was facing him. "So he put this hot spring in while he was making the tenshintai."
"Why do I need to stay down here?" Kaito asked, as he wearily tugged himself out of his tattered clothes and sank into the spring with a sigh. The way the pain slowly ebbed away was welcome, and he leaned back against the edge of the pool, staring blankly up at the painted ceiling. His head felt curiously empty, as if Ichigo and the others hadn't actually returned to him, and the silence was almost deafening.
Yoruichi hopped down and splashed into the water, paddling over to him. "Something about distance to the tenshintai. He got horribly technical when he was rambling, so I just tuned him out."
Kaito groaned. "Of course you did. Fine. Where am I sleeping?"
"I brought a sleeping bag down for you!" she chirped. "And some food, because he insisted, so you better appreciate the effort I went through!"
"Basic needs hardly counts as 'extra effort'," Kaito dryly pointed out, as he started to slowly rinse the dust from his body. He dully watched as his wounds started to hiss close upon touching the water, then mechanically went about making sure that his entire body was washed clean. Later he could consider the possibilities of a healing spring. For now, he was too tired to care.
Yoruichi sniffed, then started to paddle away to the other side, her nose tilted up into the air in a picture of feline disdain. "Fine, see if I go easy on you in training again."
Kaito stared blankly at her for a long moment, trying to process her words. Had she… seriously just said she had been going easy on him?
He shook his head. No. He must have misheard her. He was just tired, that was it.
Wasn't it..?
The next morning, Kaito sat in his sleeping bag, scrubbing blearily at his face as he tried to force himself to wake up. He had spent a restless night tossing and turning despite his exhaustion, and he hardly felt more rested now than when he had first laid down.
His spirit's words kept circling through his head, chased by nightmares and punctuated by the horrible empty silence that had taken the place of the three beings. Twisted visions of Ichigo dying, of Ichigo blaming him for failing, of the world burning around him as everything fell to Aizen kept playing through his dreams, each nightmare worse than the previous. And every time he jerked awake, heart racing and mind fuzzy, Ichigo hadn't been there. The silence had cut worse than Kaito had thought it would, his brain taking it as affirmation of his guilt, of the blame heaped upon him by those nightmares. It had gotten to the point where he had given up on sleep, and just sat in meditation for the rest of the night. Not to reach his mindscape, but just to settle his thoughts and emotions.
"Breakfast!" Yoruichi called, as she landed next to his sleeping bag and dropped a bag of energy bars at his side.
Kaito scrubbed at his face again, eyed the bag with annoyance, and reluctantly pulled it open to start eating. She had given him the same thing the night before, and at the time he had thought that she had offered it because of how late it had been, but now…
"Energy bars does not 'extra effort' make!" Kaito grumbled, as he finished the last one off and took a long drink of water from a bottle she had rolled over to him.
"Well, if you'd rather I bring nothing down…?"
Kaito snorted, crumpled the bag up and flicked it at her. The way she dodged was completely expected, and he otherwise made no effort to continue to scold her. Yoruichi was just as contrary as the feline shape she often took, and Kaito knew when he was facing a losing battle. Instead, he forced himself to his feet and pulled his shirt back on before stalking off to where the tenshintai had been left the night before. He tried to mentally prepare himself to fight the three again, sorting through the vague nightmare images that lingered in his mind and tucking them away as best he could.
He was tired, but he had to be at his best. He couldn't let them dominate him again today, not if he wanted to earn their respect and his bankai. Their words the day before hinted at something, at some answer that he was supposed to find, but it remained just out of reach, even after all his meditation.
The moment he stood in front of the tenshintai again, it triggered, a swirl of power that resolved into all three spirits once more. Kaito breathed out a sigh of relief as he laid eyes on them, his irrational fears calming as their presence soothed the ragged edges of his mind.
"So, ya ready ta run like the lil kitten ya are, Koneko?" Shiro asked, as he advanced towards Kaito, maniacal grin on his face and sword already spinning at his side.
"Even kittens have claws," Kaito retorted, as he ducked under the thrown weapon and ignored the ribbon in favor of lunging straight at Shiro. He drove his elbow deep into the spirit's stomach, causing Shiro to double over gasping for breath, and ripped the ribbon out of Shiro's grasp.
Kaito leapt back, away from Zangetsu's retaliatory strike, and channeled his own reiatsu down the ribbon, pulling the blade back into his hand. "And I think I've gained a nice set right here!"
Interestingly, the inverted colors of Shiro's blade didn't change, staying white-backed and black-edged even as Kaito used it to drive Ichigo back into Zangetsu, tripping the two up and sending them tumbling into Shiro. The ribbon coiled around his arm and up to his shoulder, the end arcing up over his shoulder like a cobra ready to strike, shifting about as he moved and constantly pointing towards Shiro.
A distant part of Kaito worried that Shiro still had enough control over the weapon to turn it against him. All it would take was a single lapse of concentration for the ribbon to coil about his neck, strangling him before he could do a thing.
Kaito set his fears aside. Resolved to trust in his own control, and in the straightforward nature of Shiro. He couldn't afford to doubt right now, not when he finally had the offensive. The smooth teamwork of the three had been disturbed by his unexpected actions, and he drove forward mercilessly. He had no desire to fail, no desire to prove himself unworthy.
Shiro didn't remain inactive just because his weapon had been stolen. Turning every trick Kaito had used the day before back on him, the doppleganger harassed and harried Kaito at every turn.
"Jes give it up, Koneko!" Shiro jeered, as he swept his foot out and kicked dust and pebbles straight into Kaito's face. "Ya ain't man enough ta handle my blade!"
Kaito scoffed. Relied on instinct to knock Zangetsu's blade aside and duck under Ichigo's. Scrubbed at his tearing eyes with his free hand even as he shifted back. He swatted the poised ribbon away from his neck, glowering at Shiro as he reasserted control. "That's not the way I remember this going! I claimed this blade once, and I'm laying claim a second time."
Ichigo snorted, lunged with his blade extended, aimed for Kaito's chest. "Then why not let us stab you again, since that worked so well the first time?"
He ducked, swatted Zangetsu's strike aside, kicked Ichigo's leg out from under him. "That was about acknowledging you were a part of me. I doubt this has such a clean answer."
Shiro appeared in his face, fist lashing out in a strike to cover Ichigo as the teen rolled back to his feet. Kaito brought his blade up, braced, heard Shiro snarl in pain as his fist cracked against the flat of the blade.
"If it's not so simple," Zangetsu mused, as he shoulder-checked Kaito aside and followed it up with a punishing kick that sent him flying. "Then I wonder what you think the answer actually is."
Kaito rose to his feet, spat out the blood that had flooded his mouth when he bit his cheek, and launched himself back into the fray. "I don't know."
"Not good enough," Zangetsu growled, as he flashed behind Kaito and tried to drive his sword through the other's gut.
He whirled, lashed out to knock the blow aside, and planted a kick firmly in Zangetsu's stomach to send the spirit flying. A second later, Shiro was flying through the air after Zangetsu, when Kaito caught his punch and hurled him away.
"You know, just fighting us really isn't going to get you anywhere," Ichigo said, as he locked blades with Kaito. His gaze flickered to the arced ribbon, then back to Kaito's face. "The answer's important, but what you make of it is more so."
Teeth bared, Kaito disengaged, letting Ichigo stumble forward a step before helping him face-plant by kicking the back of his friend's knee. The answer was important, but what he made of it was more important?
The words settled into his brain, as Kaito settled into the fight. Clearly he had to figure something out, and soon, but what was the answer?
He wouldn't fail. He couldn't afford to.
Day three dawned far too early and far too hard. He was still feeling the emptiness in his head, the silence that wasn't just the lack of words, but the lack of presence. The feeling that told him he was alone for the first time in months.
After the merging, he would have said unequivocally that he wanted that silence back, that emptiness. But he was finding that, now, he wasn't as accepting of it as he had originally thought. At some point, Ichigo and the other two had stopped being nuisances and started being an integral part of him that he was coming to rely upon.
So he stood in front of his three spirits, glowered at Shiro who had reclaimed his blade the night before, and broke for Zangetsu this time. His actions gave him a moment's respite, as Ichigo and Shiro froze, having expected him to try a repeat of yesterday's actions.
But he couldn't afford that expectation. He only had this last day to win, and he needed to pull every. Last. Trick. Free.
Kaito grabbed Zangetsu's arm, levering the lean man around and throwing him into Ichigo before either could react. He kicked Shiro's legs out from under him, sending the spirit tumbling into the pile, and grabbed both Shiro's and Zangetsu's blades before escaping. Kaito slung Shiro's blade over his shoulder, trusting that it would remain in place, and settled into a stance holding Zangetsu's blade.
It felt odd in his hand, as if it was merely a practice blade instead of a real thing. Like the balance was subtly off: a touch too light, a touch unbalanced. Still, Kaito held onto it and adapted, meeting Ichigo head on as the teen came at him, sword ready.
"So sure that you're going to win?" Ichigo asked, as their blades rang against each other.
Neither gained ground; any progress Kaito made was lost as Shiro and Zangetsu harried him. Any progress Ichigo made was lost when Kaito turned those harrying strikes against Ichigo instead.
"I'm certain of it." Kaito shifted to the side, let Shiro tackle Ichigo into the dust, redirected Zangetsu's strike to empty air. "They seem to be getting in your way just as much as mine, now."
It was true. Shiro's wild attempts at grappling him more often hit Ichigo than him, and Zangetsu's blows seemed… blunted. As if the man wasn't even trying anymore, just going through the motions, not trying to assist either one of them in particular.
The man's blade still felt awkward in his hand, though, and Kaito couldn't help but wish he had his bow. That was what the balance felt more akin to, if he tried to imagine holding only half his bow.
Still, Zangetsu had never led him astray. Had tried to support him and shore him up. He trusted that the man's blade wouldn't turn against him in a way that he hadn't trusted Shiro's the day before. But now, now he had been fighting with Shiro's blade slung across his back, not even keeping an eye on the ribbon that coiled about his shoulder the moment he touched it.
Shiro would turn against him in a heartbeat, the very moment he proved unfit. Had threatened and cajoled and snarled warning after warning into his consciousness every time Kaito had faltered or felt like giving up. Had demanded nightly spars and constant proof of Kaito's strength.
But that was the thing. Shiro would turn against him, but only if he failed, and only after plenty of warning and a chance to prove himself. The spirit was reliable in his own way, and Kaito had forced himself to remember that during the night, as he thought back on the second day's combat.
With that knowledge, combined with the way the blade hadn't turned on him the day before, Kaito was confident in relying upon Shiro's dao. The ribbon that arced over his shoulder reacted to his thoughts, another layer of defense against the harrying. It coiled about Shiro's wrist, hurling the spirit aside and knocking Zangetsu away. The reiatsu he fed it kept it strong, able to deflect things he could only just sense. When Zangetsu tossed a handful of dust in his face, the ribbon whipped around his eyes, shielding him from the dust.
And Kaito let it. Let it protect him like the extension of his will that it was. Shiro's blade or not, born of Ichigo's soul or not, the blade had adapted to him, had accepted him as its master, and Kaito had to place his trust in that.
Instead of worrying, he threw himself into the combat, struggling to keep as many out oft he combat in a single moment as he could, knowing that their time was coming to a close.
Finally, finally he managed to get the three to align just so, and promptly sheathed Zangetsu's sword in order to grab the man with both hands, pulling a repeat of the start of the day as he levered the other around and hurled him straight into Shiro and Ichigo. The three spirits went flying, colliding with the ground with an almighty crash and leaving yet another crater behind.
Not wasting a moment, Kaito darted in, pulling Shiro's blade free and sending the ribbon coiling about all three, binding them together.
"I win," Kaito announced, as he pulled the ribbon taught, strengthening the current of reiatsu flowing into it as he felt Shiro attempt to seize control.
For a moment, he thought the three wouldn't agree, that he had missed something, that something would yet again go wrong. But Shiro quit struggling for control, and Zangetsu ceased his own subtle efforts for freedom. Even Ichigo stopped fighting, nodding to Kaito in defeat.
Slowly, Kaito allowed the ribbon to retreat back to his side, and watched as the three picked themselves up.
"Well, I'm satisfied!" Ichigo announced, as he pried himself out of the crater Kaito had thrown them into. He dusted his shihakushou off, then walked over to Kaito and gave his friend a nod. "As far as I'm concerned, you've gained bankai."
Kaito rolled his eyes and huffed as Ichigo slowly dispersed into reishi and settled back into his mindscape, then glanced over at the other two spirits who were also pulling themselves back to their feet. Shiro's madcap grin was as wide as ever, toothy and pleased in a way that Kaito had never seen before. Even Zangetsu was looking a touch pleased, as the two approached him.
When Kaito offered Shiro's blade back to him, the spirit just shook his head and grinned even wider as he dropped it right back into Kaito's left hand.
"'Ere, ya earned it! Make sure ta call me up whenever ya fight now!"
He stared at the color-inverted blade, then up at Shiro, a frown of confusion on his face. "'Call you up'?"
"Yeh! What, ya thought ya only had one blade, when ya had three spirits?"
"Ichigo said he was my zanpakutou," Kaito replied, as he tried to make sense of what Shiro was saying. "That you and Zangetsu were just… pieces of him?"
"An' we are," Shiro agreed, a touch grumpily, before rolling his eyes and stabbing a finger at Kaito. "But we're also bits a'you now, Koneko! Aibou gave ya his blade right away, cause he likes ya. But me, ya had ta impress me, an' by the time ya did, weren't time ta get ya used to fightin' with two blades. Now, I expect ya ta learn quick an' use my blade ta kill that fucker!"
"Your bankai—"
"Same as Aibou's," Shiro cut in with a shrug. "We're jes a matched pair, so we change at th'same time."
Kaito nodded weakly, as Shiro apparently decided that was everything he needed to know and faded away back into his mindscape. Shiro's blade, indentical to Ichigo's in all but color, rested heavy in his left hand. It made sense, if he twisted his mind around in a certain direction, that there would be a blade per spirit, though that…
That left Zangetsu. A man who had been part of Ichigo. And if Ichigo's blade had been named Zangetsu after this man, then… what about Shiro's blade? Why was it the mirror of Ichigo's, and Zangetsu's blade was awkward and unbalanced? Shouldn't it have been the reverse?
A man who was currently watching him with his typical inscrutable gaze.
"Are you going to drop another weapon on me too?" Kaito attempted to joke, though it fell flat to his ears.
"No." Zangetsu took a few steps closer, his coat fluttering around his legs as he moved. "You have always had me with you. I am your first and dearest weapon, your will given shape, your strength given form."
Kaito frowned as he tried to puzzle through Zangetsu's strange words. His first and dearest weapon? That was his bow, but… but he had never heard the other's voice before. And besides, Zangetsu was a part of Ichigo, wasn't he?
"I was always a part of both of you," Zangetsu answered Kaito's unspoken question. "But Ichigo was always more, just as you now are."
"Wait!" Kaito straightened, staring at Zangetsu in shock. "Ichigo was a Quincy?!"
(*Wait, what?!*)
Zangetsu merely smiled, as he faded away back into Kaito's mindscape, leaving more questions behind than he had answered.
(*Hey! Old Man, come on!*) Ichigo exclaimed, as he tried to get Zangetsu to talk.
Kaito shook his head, as Ichigo's pleas drifted off into silence as his friend followed Zangetsu deeper into his mindscape and away from Kaito's conscious awareness. He took a moment, head tilted back and eyes closed, to bask in the return of the spirits, in the way he once more felt whole now that they had returned. For better or worse, they were an irrevocable part of himself now, and the idea of tearing them free was… terrifying.
Recalling himself to the present, Kaito allowed Shiro's blade to fade away, then tried to call up both blades at once. They answered his call eagerly, mirrored blades appearing one in each hand.
Experimenting with them, Kaito attempted to accustom himself to fighting with two long blades. It felt a bit ridiculous, and likely looked just as bad due to his clumsy movements, but at least the weight of the weapons wasn't unreasonable. Still, he would need to spend time both inside his mindscape and out here practicing, if he didn't want to look foolish when he tried to actually fight in real combat.
Curious about how it would work, he forced the blades to shift to his bow, and had to blink as Shiro's blade shimmered and became a bright green arrow while Ichigo's blade transformed into his bow.
Kaito stared thoughtfully at the bow. The shape hadn't changed in the slightest, still an elongated compass rose with two forward facing spikes, but the color of it… it reminded him more of his father's bow. It looked like it was made of real wood that had been stained black, with emerald green inlaid patterns that covered the face and sides. He nocked the arrow in his hand and drew back, taking aim at a boulder in the distance.
The arrow lanced across the intervening space, before vaporizing the boulder completely, leaving just a faint wisping of dust and reishi behind.
An impressed whistle caught his attention, and Kaito turned slight to look behind him, only then noticing that Urahara and Yoruichi were both watching him experimenting.
"That's one impressive attack!" Urahara remarked.
Kaito shrugged awkwardly and allowed his bow to dissipate back into reishi. "Did you want something?"
"Just checking up on my dear son!" Urahara proclaimed as he snapped his fan open and fluttered it. "After all, we're coming up on the evening of the third day!"
"I'd like to see you fight three spirits to a standstill without access to weapons," Kaito grouched, as he slumped back down on the rock and looked between the two ex-Shinigami. "Did you know that was going to happen?"
"Maa, I might have suspected, just a little bit," Urahara admitted blithely. "You did tell me you have three spirits in there, so it stood to reason they'd all show up!"
Kaito narrowed his eyes at Urahara, then shook his head in resignation. Nothing he said would get the man to apologize for something as (mostly) harmless as what had happened. But before his brain could sanity check his mouth, he spoke, "Just for that, I want you to help me practice fighting with two blades."
Urahara blinked in surprise. "Ooooh? I would have thought you'd turn to anyone but little ol' me! Very well! We'll start tomorrow afternoon, after your lesson with Yoruichi!"
Well, nothing for it. Urahara was a terrifying opponent to face, Kaito knew, but… well, that could only be for the better, right?
Right?
He was going to die, wasn't he.
For anyone who didn't quite catch it, or want a more straightforward answer, the bankai fight was about trust. Ichigo's fight in canon was about learning how to rely on his own strength, instead of just expecting Zangetsu to carry him through everything. But Uryuu's never had that specific problem; he's always relied on himself, on his own strength and skill as a Quincy. Instead, his trust has been trampled on by… pretty much everyone of import to his life: the trust he had in his father and in doctors, the trust he had in Shinigami through his grandfather, the inherent childish trust of the capabilities of a beloved mentor to survive anything. It's why, I think, he really tries to hold himself aloof from everyone, so he doesn't have to have his trust broken again.
Except that works against him in this situation, because a Shinigami has to trust their blade if they want to reach the heights of skill Uryuu needs and wants. And Shiro isn't exactly… the most trustworthy-looking/acting being on the planet, and the Old Man can be a bit too cryptic at times, even if he's loads better than Shiro (although even that's deceptive, because in canon the Old Man was actually holding Ichigo back on purpose). Even Ichigo is a bit iffy at this point, because Uryuu trusted him to dominate that fight with Ulquiorra and Ichigo died and left everything in Uryuu's hands.
So, their problems aren't 100% fixed, but Uryuu's trusting them more now, and that's good enough for the three to start with.
In other news, I decided to give up on the pat-reon (seriously, ffnet, you're even censoring pat-reon as a word now? This is getting pretty big-brother.), because it just wasn't working out. Life's getting in the way of reliably writing this past month or two, and it's probably only going to get worse. I know a couple people indicated they were interested in world building stuff, so I'll pose this question: if I set something up to share stuff outside of ffnet and ao3, where would people like it to be? Facebook, tumblr, something I've never heard of..?