Title: Never Ending Evergreen

Author: DnKS – giRLs

Rating: T (now we get it right in standard, yay!)

Pairing: TezuFuji

Disclaimers: first, The Prince of Tennis is not, has not been, and will never be ours. Second, this story was inspired by the sweet romantic story "La Dame aux Camélias", which, sadly, is not, has not been and will never be ours. It shall belong to its respective owner, Alexandre Dumas, forever. Now… what do we own!

Warning: AU, a bit of …. over romantic and OOC (sigh…)

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A sense of real things comes doubly strong,

And, like muddy stream, would bear along

My soul to nothingness: but I will strive

Against all doubtings, and will keep alive

(Sleep and Poetry by John Keats)

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Chapter 9 – Beginning of an End

I always hated the idea of hospital ever since the very first time I set my step inside the said building when I was just a little kid. I hate the smell of disinfectant, the sterile white sheets, the gloomy green walls. I hate the aura I got there. How could a sick person ever got better in that kind of environment was something beyond my comprehension.

And that sentiment was still standing when I entered a rather large hospital building that morning. Atobe's phone call that came to me earlier that day had urged me to come there as fast as I could. And so coming there I was. Without putting much effort in slowing down my steps in the hallways I strode past the people to the waiting room where I found Atobe sitting somewhat stiffly on one of those uncomfortable chairs placed there. I did not need to announce my presence for before I could speak even one word, he had already turned his head and faced me.

A moment passed between us. He sat there, unmoving, I stood here, unmoving, the world revolved around us… ever revolting.

"Where is he?" I asked him with a voice that I barely recognized as my own.

Atobe sighed as if he couldn't care less, "Somewhere…"

"Atobe!" I shouted and ran to him. I grabbed his shoulders and looked straight into his eyes, minding not of how some nurses complaining about my shouting earlier. "Where the hell is he? I swear if you don't tell me, I'll…"

"Sit down and behave!" he shouted back at me with such an authority that made me obey him in mere seconds. I found myself then seated beside him. I knew my face must look so awful for anxiety had gotten the better part of me already. And, seeing Atobe's expression, he was in a pretty much same state as I was.

I covered my face with my hands for a while, trying to calm my breath, my heart, my feeling. It was hard, and I thought we really made a scene that time, two grown up men, one with his head between his hands and one with his teeth busy biting on his nails.

I snickered. Atobe had that habit of biting off his nails whenever he was really anxious, and that was really rare. I knew from past experience how he would surely get mad afterwards when he saw the masterpiece he had created on his perfectly-manicured nails.

"Exactly, what's happened?" I asked finally. I lowered my hands and placed them on my lap, feeling that I had somewhat become calmer than before.

Atobe stopped biting his nails for a while before he shrugged, "He was unconscious so I brought him here."

"Can I ask a more thorough explanation than that?" I asked. I saw Atobe thinking for a while then he began biting his nails again. "Stop that, Atobe, I know how you adore your nails and I don't feel like listening to your mourning later when you realized what have you done to your oh-so-perfect nails."

Amazingly, he did stop. But even after he had stopped, he still proved me no further explanation that I demanded. He just sat there in silence, eyes gazing forward to something not belonged to the world of men.

And strangely, I did not feel really disturbed by his silence. It was almost as if I did not expecting him to really answer at the first place, so when he did speak up again, I found myself almost started.

"I had a dinner with Yuushi last night…"

"Date?" I cut him halfway. I could feel his annoyed gaze being directed to me yet he continued.

"Fine, I had a date with Yuushi last night and afterward, we did something that made me unable to come back to my room before it was nearing dawn…"

"Sex?" I cut him again. I could tell then that Atobe was really annoyed but I couldn't help asking it.

"Fine! We had sex like wild animals and I came back to my room when it was already three o'clock in the morning," he stopped. "When I walked to my room, I passed his door and I saw that his lights were still on."

By 'his', I knew that he meant Fuji's. I frowned at the information he just gave me, considering the events that took place between Fuji and I on the previous day. I knew that it was just on the brink of the night when I walked Fuji to his room the day before. I expected him to go to his bed directly, seeing how tired he looked that time. I could not guess why he kept himself awake for so long.

I voiced out my thought to Atobe who nodded in hearing it.

"I was confused too, for as far as I knew, he is not someone who loved to stay up late," he explained. "I thought that there must be something wrong so I tried to phone him, but he did not answer. I knocked at his door and got no answer either. I knew that he couldn't possibly be asleep, he cannot…"

Atobe stopped and for a moment looked as if he was reluctant to continue, but it just lasted for mere seconds and afterward he resumed his speech though, I observed, he refused to look directly into my eyes.

"I know that he cannot sleep with the lights on…" he said. "We… he could never sleep whenever the lights were on…"

"How could you…"

I stopped myself from asking the obvious at the very last moment. Of course Atobe would know, I chided myself. He had known Fuji longer, better than me…

He was, after all, his lover once…

An uncomfortable silence passed between the two of us. I knew that it was a fact I had to accept that my best friend and lover were once involved in such a love affair; I even thought I held no grudge over it. But still, that was a touchy subject for the both of us.

The silence was broken by Atobe's coughing and I found myself jerked back from whatever thought my mind had developed to produce at that time being. With a little start, I looked back at Atobe who seemed wanting to carry on with his explanation.

"So, I thought there must be something wrong," Atobe continued. "I found his door unlocked so I entered and I saw him spread out cold on the floor so I brought him here and gave you a call."

He ended his explanation there and went silent. I knew he expected me to say something but I could only ask, "That's all?"

"What do you expect?" he asked back.

And truthfully, I knew not what else I did expect from him. It was far more than enough - his explanation; and it left nothing more for me to desire. He had told me everything he knew. He had shared them all with me. And all of those he had said to me only added up one conclusion: it was there, the beginning of an end.

I faced it then, the inevitability, as what Fuji called it when he talked about it with me the day before. It was no coincidence, I believed, that he chose that certain day to talk about matters concerning his fate, or in a more crude way, his imminent death. He knew that his time would come soon and so he talked with me.

For what, I wondered.

And the answer came: so that I could let him go.

I exhaled. Ah, Shuusuke, my Shuusuke, did he know not that no matter what had been said, what had been told to me, it wouldn't change the trouble I felt in the idea of ever parting with him? How could he anticipate me to accept it so easily, knowing how great I felt for him?

Shuusuke, my brave Shusuke, the one who faced death with no fear in his eyes, how could I ever let him go? He might have no fear, but I could not speak the same for me…

My eyes wandered off to Atobe who sat beside me. He had already begun biting off his nails again. So seldom did I see that much worry surfacing on his clear eyes, yet now I found those eyes clouded with nothing but worry toward none other but the one we both held so dear. That same intensity of worry too, I believed, must be apparent on my face. No, I did not think that the concept of his death would ever settle down with me.

And with Atobe as well…

"How is he now?" I asked the most important question then. Atobe stopped biting his nails at the sound of my question.

"Sleeping in his room I guess…" he said.

"You guess?"

"They do not allow anyone to visit him yet," Atobe said and I saw him thinking for a while before he continued. "They want you."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Those doctors… they said they wanted to discuss some issues about his health with someone…"

"Ah," I said. That too was not unusual. The doctors wanted to discuss about a patient's health with his or her relatives was something I should have expected. But since in Fuji's case his relatives were out of question, it was of no wonder that they would look up to me as one of his closest people. It was natural for them to discuss matters concerning his condition with me, but I knew they could do it with Atobe as well.

"Why don't you be the one to discuss it with them?" I asked.

"I'm not his lover," Atobe said softly.

"You're our closest friend, our brother in everything but blood," I said, staring straight into his eyes. "I know you are worried about him, I know you love him, why don't we go together?"

He smiled a little, "I have no right over him, Tezuka, so please do not torment me so by reminding me of something I've long lost."

"Who said that he was lost to any of us?" I argued. "I am a selfish person, Atobe, you know that about me. Put the blame on me; just consider this as my pleading to you. I cannot face it alone and I need you for I know I would break without you. Can I ask this simple request of having you sharing my sufferings?"

He opened his mouth and then snickered with a shake of his head, his arrogant smirk already played on the corner of his mouth. He stared at me with a gaze that forever I would never forget for I saw there an intensity of respect and devotion far exceeding each and every gaze he ever directed at me before that time and beyond.

"Wherever did you learn to talk so charming like that?" he snorted.

I only shrugged, "Years of knowing you must have caused some permanent damage to me."

"And you really don't want to back out, yes?" he asked and I shook my head. I did truly need him to be with me in facing whatever things those doctors wanted to say to me. Atobe had always been my anchor of power and without him, I might break. He was the one who always reminded me of hope when I could see nothing but despair though I suspected it was just him and his arrogance that prevented him from losing to something people had dubbed as fate.

He chuckled, the very first chuckle I heard from him that morning, and it lift some burden off my heart. With a better mood that before, I stood up from my seat. He followed me suit and without thinking, I grabbed his shoulder. There was a smile breaking on his face. There was smile breaking on my face. There were uncertainties ahead, doubts, fear, and even death, but there was him beside me and there I was beside him. And together we would survive, because…

… Because there was someone named Fuji Shuusuke in both of our hearts.

And so, with those thoughts in our minds, we walked and faced our fear together.

- end chapter 9 -

(A/N: sorry for the very late update, there's a problem with one of our member's health…We hope that you enjoy this chapter, and do please give us your review after you read this)