Sex, Love, And Rock 'N' Roll

Rating: PG-13
Summary: Kon thinks living in Smallville sucks. But at least he has Tim.

Smallville sucks.

The farm is in the middle of nowhere, despite being barely a mile outside of 'town.' There's electricity, and indoor plumbing, and even the internet (dial-up, of course; DSL lines don't run out that far), but there's only one coffee shop, and just a bunch of family run stores instead of a mall.

Not that Kon likes coffee all that much, or shopping, but those are the places the 'cool' people generally congregate. Not that there are all that many cool people in the sticks. Not even him, because while Superboy is a Super-Stud, and Kon-El is Super-Stylin', Conner Kent is…Super-Stupid, and a loser, to boot. He's supposed to keep a low profile and not draw attention to himself. Kon can't manage to get through a week without getting detention for being tardy or turning in homework late because of his superhero career, but the school just thinks he's a slacker, so that works okay.

Except for the fact that the principal thinks he's an idiot, the teachers think he's either doing drugs or drinking, and none of the other kids will talk to him because he's uncool even by Smallville's low standards.

And Clark wonders why Kon hates living in the sticks. Clark wasn't exactly Mister Popular in high school, but at least he had friends there. And he didn't have all of his powers, either, so his grades didn't suffer because of superheroing. Clark likes being normal, likes being 'Clark Kent' instead of Kal-El. He likes doing chores on the farm, and eating home-cooked meals, and exchanging gossip with the elderly neighbors who are way too interested in pinching Kon's cheeks.

Kon…would rather be a full-time superhero. Kicking supervillain butt is way cooler than doing chores, even if it is more hazardous to his health. And even if Aunt Martha's pies rock, there's nothing like a double cheeseburger and onion rings with a chocolate milkshake for dessert. Grease, salt, sugar and chocolate are his four major food groups. Plus, small town gossip isn't very exciting, and while he's grown used to cute girls pinching his butt, little old ladies doing the same thing is so very much of the wrong.

Kon guesses, as far as the old proverb goes, he's an apple that fell halfway between his two trees. Or maybe he's a nut, and a half-cracked one, at that.

Sometimes Kon thinks that he'll go nuts in Smallville, but just when he's starting to think that, the weekend rolls around, and it's San Francisco, here he comes.

Kon loves San Francisco. The ocean, the beaches, the beach bunnies, radio stations that play something other than country music, an excuse to wear his extremely cool sunglasses all the time… And, of course, his friends. Bart is always up for playing video games, Gar has the coolest stories about the acting industry, and Vic is always willing to help him with his math and science homework. Raven's pretty cool to hang out with, and she's teaching him how to meditate, which helps him enormously with controlling his new heat vision, and gives him a lot more versatility with his TTK. Cassie only kicks his ass half the time when they spar, though he gets so distracted by Kory's…tracts of land…that even the few times he manages to get one over on her, he still ends up flat on his back with her pinning him.

Not like he's complaining about that. Not at all.

And then there's Tim. Tim, his best friend, the guy who's been there for him through thick and thin and regular-sized trouble. The guy who stood up for him against Batman when he was being an asshole about having a meta in his city. The guy who stood up for him against Superman moreover, when he was riding Kon so hard about not being responsible.

Tim, the guy he thinks he might be in love with, only Kon's never been able to figure out exactly what that means, and why it's been different with everyone he's loved.

But even if it takes Kon months to figure out how to tell Tim he loves him, he knows he'll get there eventually. He's got time, hanging out at the farm – or in detention. Knowing his luck, he'll probably figure it out in Smallville, on Monday morning, and have to wait all week to get to San Francisco so he can tell Tim. Only he'll have been so impatient by then that he'll just blurt it out in some embarrassingly uncool way.

Still, Tim doesn't care if he's cool or not. Tim doesn't care if he lives in Bumfuck, Kansas, or can barley manage Pre-Algebra. Tim teases him about his sunglasses, but doesn't tell him to stop wearing them, and Tim can kick his ass both on the practice mats and in video games.

Tim can also make his brain melt by wrapping his lips around Kon's cock. And he can cheer Kon up just by being there.

Smallville sucks. But San Francisco…rocks.

THE END