AN: Sorry for the wait guys but I was struggling with this chapter. I couldn't seem to get it right. Anyway I finally finished it after a lot of rewrites :)
Thankyou for all the positive feedback so far, it really means a lot and it makes this story worth writing!!
Chapter 10 – Stop & Stare
This town is colder now, I think it's sick of us
It's time to make our move, I'm shakin off the rust
I've got my heart set on anywhere but here
I'm staring down myself, counting up the years
Steady hands, just take the wheel...
And every glance is killing me
Time to make one last appeal... for the life I lead
Kissing her after all this time felt surreal yet amazing, I really couldn't describe how it felt because no words seemed to match the rush of feelings surging through my body right now. Peyton always had a way of making me feel like no other, there was always such intensity between us and I really could not believe I spent so many years with out her. I could not believe I spent so long trying to run from my feelings when it was clear to everyone else where my heart truly lied, where it has always lied. I'm so lost in this kiss, my hands tangled in her curly blonde hair, something I had missed dearly that she and I both don't hear the door open. In fact its not until we hear the tapping of someone's foot and "uh hmm" do we break apart and gaze at the now open door that held us hostage all day.
"Well, well, well" the voice said and we both looked on nervously. "I've been looking everywhere for you Peyton I didn't think I'd walk in on this"
"Brooke I" she said about to defend herself and I stroked her arm up and down to let her know that everything ahead of us we would face together. We both knew that people may not approve but we were never going to give up again, no one was capable of tearing us apart, as long as we stuck together we could face anything anyone threw at us.
"You don't have to explain, I'm happy for you, it's about time you took your head out of your ass Luke"
"Thanks" I said chuckling because even though she said it in a joking way, I picked up on the hint of seriousness in her tone and I knew she was right.
"So the storeroom?" Brooke said taking a look around while giving Peyton a suggestive wink.
"Well you see we kind of got locked in together"
"Ah…if I knew locking you up together would have done the trick I would have so done it"
We both laugh at Brooke and then stand up to exit the room that had help us captive all day.
"So Lucas what are you going to do about Lindsey?" the brunette asked. She knew it was plaguing her best friend's mind, but she also knew Peyton wouldn't bring it up so she did.
I wasn't shocked at the question; Brooke Davis never was one to beat around the bush. I wrapped an arm around Peyton's waist pulling her closer to me and then replied, "I'm going to do what I should have done a long time ago"
"I'm so happy for you guys" Brooke cheered as they walked through Tric.
"I feel bad for Lindsey, she's going to hate me…I'm such a home wrecker" Peyton said sadly realising that she yet again had hurt someone else to be with Lucas.
"Hey" I say holding on to her shoulders and looking her in the eyes. "This is not your fault, its mine I shouldn't have strung her along when there was someone else in my heart. I'm to blame Peyton and I'm willing to face the consequences"
She nodded her head at me but I could still tell that she felt bad, so I brought her lips to mine and we shared a short but loving kiss.
"Okay I'm happy for you but cut down on the PDA" Brooke said interrupting our moment and Peyton just chuckled as we all made our way out of Tric.
"I'm going to do it now" I say as all three of us stand outside in the sun.
"Are you sure?" Peyton asked feeling worried. I take a hold of her face with both of my hands and kiss her lovingly on the lips "I've never been more sure of anything" I breathe out once the kiss broke.
"Come on P. Sawyer I need to go home so you can keep me company while Broody takes care of Lindsey" Brooke said taking hold of Peyton's hand.
"I'll see you soon" I say to her as we part ways and she nervously nods back at me before taking off with Brooke.
I smile to myself watching the love of my life walk away but the smile soon fades as I realise what I have to do. I never wanted to be the cause of someone's heartbreak but I couldn't lie to my own heart anymore. Lindsey never had it and she deserves someone who can give her everything, who can let her in and love her unconditionally, something I really could not offer her because my heart would always belong to the curly blonde, it had since the day I fixed her car and it would until the day I died.
"Lucas where have you been I've been worried sick" Lindsey said as I entered the house.
"Sorry I kinda got held up" I reply making my way to the couch to sit beside her. She goes to kiss me but I move my head to the side and she looks at me with a mix of hurt and confusion in her eyes. I can't kiss her when I am committed to Peyton, she is the only person I have ever stayed faithful to and there is a reason for that, she is my true love and I could never picture cheating on her, never wanting her to feel betrayed by me. The truth is when I'm with Peyton Sawyer I never have eyes for anyone else because she truly captivates me, she is the only one I have ever let all the way in, she is the only one I have ever given my whole heart to.
"Lucas what's wrong?" she asks with concern making this harder than it already was. She was a great woman, she deserved to be loved and cherished but I couldn't do that.
"We need to talk" I say dreading this conversation.
"Okay"
"I never wanted to do this, I never wanted to be the one to break someone's heart, least of all yours but I have no choice"
"Lucas" she says trying to interrupt me obviously picking up on where this conversation was headed.
"I'm sorry Lindsey but we can't be together anymore"
"Lucas please" she says as the tears stream down her face "I love you"
"And I love you too…but I'm not in love with you"
More tears stream down her face so I carrying on talking trying my best to make this as pain free as possible. "There is someone out there for you Lindsey Strauss I know it…I'm just not that guy"
"I don't understand where this has come from. We just celebrated our engagement, heck we are supposed to be getting married in a week!" she shouts letting the anger consume her.
"I'm sorry Lindsey but its better than me leaving you at the altar" I reply trying to reason with her but finding out it only angered her more.
"Well aren't I lucky" she replied sarcastically.
"Its not you okay"
"Don't you dare say its not you its me" she says with anger.
"But it isn't you…you're an amazing woman, talented, beautiful and you deserve someone who can give you their whole heart…I can't do that"
"Why?" she said as more tears fell from her sad eyes.
I didn't want to bring Peyton up but I knew she deserved to know the truth. "Because for the past three years I've been trying to mend my broken heart and I realised it will only be fixed when I stop lying and let that person back in"
"Peyton" Lindsey stated more than questioned, but I nodded back at her anyway.
"I'm sorry but you read my book Lindsey and it's not something I could forget, I tried, I really tried to move on but she is it for me. I can't give myself to anyone else fully because she will always have my heart. You deserve happiness Lindsey, you deserve someone who will give you everything, and I wish I could do that but I can't. I loved you, heck I do love you, I care a lot about you and if there had never been a Peyton in my life we could have worked out but there is, I've been in love with the curly blonde since I was sixteen…she's my soulmate and I can't let her go again."
"What's so special about Peyton? What does she have that I don't?"
"Lindsey lets not go there" I said not wanting to compare the two women.
Meanwhile Brooke and Peyton had just arrived back at their shared house. Peyton had been extremely quiet the whole ride home that the brunette started to worry.
"You okay P?" Brooke said dropping her keys on the coffee table and plopping herself down on the couch.
"Yeah I'm fine" she replied in a seemingly empty voice.
"No you're not"
"What? I'm fine Brooke"
"Come on I've known you too long Peyton, you can't lie to me now what's wrong? You should be beaming you and Lucas are finally back together, you finally got what you came back for"
"I know I just……I guess I'm worried"
"Why? He loves you"
"I know but what about Lindsey?"
"What about her? Look Peyton Lucas chose you" the brunette said pointing at Peyton trying to emphasize her point.
"But why?" the blonde replied receiving a confused look from the brunette so she elaborated "I don't understand why he chose me when he has a beautiful, successful and pretty much perfect girlfriend who is everything I'm not"
"That's exactly why he chose you, because no one is quite like you Peyton, besides perfect is dull…and anyway I'm sure you are perfect in the eyes of Lucas Scott"
"What if Lindsey talks him into staying? What if Lucas changes his mind? What if"
"Peyton!" the brunette shouted stopping the blonde from rambling. "Lucas loves you, just believe in that okay?"
"Its just I can't go through the heartbreak again Brooke I barely made it the last time"
"You won't have to" Brooke replied pulling Peyton into a comforting embrace. They stayed embraced together until they were interrupted by a knock at the door.
"Hey Nathan" the brunette greeted cheerily.
"Hi Brooke I'm sorry to spring this on you but could you take care of Jamie, Haley's has a staff meeting and I've really got to get to the gym to train with Q"
"I'd love to but I have an important clothes over bros meeting in about half an hour" the brunette replied sadly. She loved spending time with her godson but this meeting was too important for her to miss.
Before Nathan could respond the blonde spoke "I'll watch him"
"You sure Peyt?"
"Yeah, its about time I got to know him a bit more"
"What do you say Jamie want to spend some time with auntie Peyton?" Nathan asked his son.
"Sure" he replied enthusiastically.
"Thanks Peyton you're a life saver"
"Don't mention it" she replied taking hold of Jamie's hand. "We're going to have a great time" she added and Jamie smiled up at her.
Back at Lucas' house Lindsey was packing her bags willing her tears away not wanting to cry in front of Lucas anymore. She hated that Peyton had come between them but she had read his book, she knew the type of love they had, she knew he always went back to her in the end. She knew she had set herself up for heartache, she knew as soon as the curly blonde came back into his life that it was only a matter of time before Lucas hurt her and went back to his soulmate, she just didn't want to believe it. She pulled the engagement ring off of her finger and placed it on his desk. She took one last look around the room and was about to leave when Lucas walked in and spoke.
"I really am sorry Lindsey"
"Me too" she replied as tears rimmed her eyes "I can't be your editor anymore but I'll see if someone from the company will take over"
"You don't have to do that" I reply, her kindness was making this even harder for me.
"No…you're a great writer Luke and I'm sure your second book will be just as good as your first…the world deserves to see it"
"Thanks" I reply not quite knowing what to say. I wanted to hug her and take her pain away but since I was the cause of it I knew that would only make things worse.
"Goodbye Lucas" she whispered
"Take care of yourself Lindsey" I reply watching her walk away, leaving my life forever. I sigh because I truly broke an amazing person's heart but I told myself it was better now than later down the line. It was bound to happen eventually because as long as Peyton Sawyer was in this world all my other relationships were doomed.
A few moments later I grab my cell and dial her number a smile tugging at my lips. After a few rings I hear her voice.
"Hello"
"Hi Peyton its me"
"Hey how did it go?" she asks and I can hear the nerves present in her voice.
"The best it could, where are you?"
"At the park"
"The park?" I ask a little confused as to why she would be there.
"Yeah I'm looking after Jamie"
"Okay I'll meet you there"
We hang up and the smile on my face just grows. I know I've made the right decision and it felt good to finally be free to be with the love of my life. After all these years a part we had finally come back to one another; just how it was meant to be.
Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh
Stop and stare AN: Hope you liked it :) Please review and let me know what you think. I think the next chapter will be the last, just thought I'd let you know. Song: One Republic - Stop & Stare
You start to wonder why you're 'here' not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, can u see what I see