"You're serious? What a jackass."

Two succubi, Xia and Angrida, leaned up against the wall smoking their felweed cigarettes and complaining about their jobs. Mother Shahraz wouldn't let them smoke inside, so they stood on the Illidari Training Grounds, watching the hordes of fel orcs drill and train for the inevitable conflict with the Legion, the Alliance, the Horde, or all three.

"Seriously. Human chick shows up out of nowhere and Illidan acts like they're bestest friends, and all Kael cares about is finishing up his massage." Xia took one last, long drag from her cigarette, flicked away the butt, and sighed. "You know, some days I think, you know, the Legion wasn't all that bad. At least there you got some respect."

"Girl, I'm telling you, you've got to get yourself assigned to entertain the fel orcs. Poor, dumb bastards have no idea what sex is, I take them into one of the private bedchambers and play patty-cake or checkers with them for half an hour or so and they come out all happy and refreshed." Angrida grinned. "Easiest damn work I've had in my life."

Xia reached into her handbag and produced another cigarette, then held it away from herself at arm's length. "Yeah, well, I'd still have Kael bothering me, he doesn't care what my real job is. And the blood elves aren't too bad. I just have to ridiculously overstate their prowess and attractiveness." Xia winced as Supremus, the burning abyssal construct patrolling around the perimeter, walked past them and the wreath of fel flames around its body ignited the tip of her cigarette. She quickly brought her hand back to her mouth to suck on the burned fingertips, then took a satisfying drag. "Honestly, I'm not that surprised that when a strange human shows up, Lord Illidan makes her his trusted confidante. Dunno if you've noticed, but it's not like we've got very competent leadership here."

Angrida shrugged. "Eh, whaddya gonna do? Not like Kil'Jaeden was doing much better. It was all 'blarg, we hate everything, all of you just go to the first object that crosses your field of vision and beat it with a stick, an EVIL, FEL stick!"

Xia grinned slyly. "We could pull a Voren'thal. Go join the Naaru. They seem to know what they're doing."

Angrida slapped her on the thigh. "Girl, get over yourself, Naaru aren't gonna take in someone like you."

She laughed, playfully insulted. "They totally would, I'll have you know I can do a perfect Draenei! Okay, okay, watch." Xia cracked her knuckles, pulled the hair out of her face, and shifted her posture to be straighter and more uptight. "Allo! I am Draenei from Exodar, yes? I have dumb glowing thing on forehead and big superiority complex! I come to vorship big glowing vindchime by hitting zhings vith improbable crystal hammer!"

Angrida tried to say something back, but she was winced over in near-silent hissing laughter, unable to respond.

"Vhat? Vhy is it you are laughing? Is because ve say ve are originals and Eredar came from us? Because zhat is totally vhat happened, for honest! Ve are not zhe demons, ve hit zhe demons wizh sticks!"

"Ooh, ooh, let me try!" Angrida closed her eyes and shook her face in an exaggerated display of 'getting into character' and spoke in a similar faux-Draenei accent. "Vhat is zhat, pink person whose species I hav never seen before? Of course ve vill be blood brothers vith you forever! Ve alzo zhink the bull-people and zhe blue people we hav alzo never seen must be destroyed! Ov course you can come in our secret sanctum and vander around! Feel free to drink from our vater fountains -- yes, zhey are made of lead, vhy do you ask?"

At this point Xia was doubled over, biting her knuckle in silent laughter, which was quite unfortunate for her. The next thing she heard wasn't more mockery of the followers of Velen, but an enraged hiss-shout coming from behind her. "YOU THINK THISSSSS ISSSSS FUNNY?"

Xia yelped in surprise, dropped her cigarette, and whirled about on one hoof to see the imposing form of the naga sorceress Lady Vashj, two of her four arms wrapped around her chest to cover her breasts. Xia had no idea where her top had went, or, for that matter, why a non-mammalian snake-woman had breasts to cover.

"WELL, SSSSUCCUBUSSSS? DO YOU SSSSOMEHOW FIND THISSSS AMUSSSSING?" the sorceress accused, and with a python-like speed she shot forward and grabbed Xia's throat in one of her free hands, holding her a good two feet off the ground. "DOESSSS THE SSSSEX DEMON FIND IT REWARDING TO DISSSSROBE HER SSSSUPERIORSSSS?"

"Gack," was Xia's reasoned and eloquent response, a form of Sayaadi shorthand for 'I never should have got out of bed this morning.'

"Vashj!" Illidan croaked from across the grounds. "Restrain your anger if you can't find a more appropriate target to unleash it upon. Put her down."

"I am ssorry, masster..." Vashj let go and Xia fell to the floor in an undignified heap of hooves, tail, wings and ass. "Sshe wass mocking me -- I wass wayliad on my way from Sserpentsshrine--"

"Oh-hohohoho-HO! Your BRA was stolen!" Kodachi crowed as if she'd just found the final piece to a grand riddle. Vashj was surprised by not just the fact that a human girl was here speaking to her, but that she was four feet away from her. With Superemus tromping around, it was impossible to hear anyone else's footsteps. "And allow me to guess! It was taken by a horrid, shrunken little man who had no interest in engaging you past the effort required to steal your undergarments?"

"Yesss... And who are you, again?"

"Clearly I was not the only one to traverse the barrier betwixt worlds!" Kodachi grinned manically, the only way she knew how to grin. "The perverted martial artist Happosai has followed me to this Outland!"

Illidan stroked his chin. "Another wanderer from your world... An ally, or enemy?"

"An ally to none, and an enemy to any woman with a bra or panties. But!" She ran a black rose across her chin with a flourish, miraculously unpierced by a single thorn. "Also a master of secrets and techniques best left forgotten. Perhaps a technique to jump across worlds -- one that will be wrung out of him once the thorns of the Black Rose sink into his flesh!"

"Wait, I'm confused," said one of Vashj's Myrmidion guards, scratching the side of his neck. "How do you know each other, again?"

"So that's about what happened on Earth, Gazlowe. Everyone is pretty worked up about Iraq, but it really doesn't hold a candle to this Dark Portal." Nabiki shrugged and shifted her seating, Gazlowe didn't have any human-sized chairs so she was sitting on the floor. "It's certainly nothing compared to Azeroth."

"Eh, I like hearing about that Earth place. It's a good story." He leaned back and set his feet up on the table, something Nabiki would do as well if the table was higher than her shin. "No magic, no demons out of nowhere, the whole thing's like a well-written thriller! You're surprised when the housing market collapses, but you think, 'all of that was out in the open, man, I should have seen it coming!'"

"That's one way of looking at it, I suppose." Nabiki took a long slurp from her cup, drawing out the last of the swiftthistle tea -- it tasted awful, but she didn't want to be an ingracious guest, and it did have quite a bit of pick-me-up. "I doubt you'd look at it the same way if you lived there. So, did you have something planned for the rest of the day, or are we going to continue to reminisce?"

"Ah, that's the Nabiki I know, not one to sit on her laurels. You remember our little challenge last time, where we each started with a raw sunfish and the first one to trade up to one gold piece without using any other supplies won?"

Her eyebrow arched and she smiled playfully. "I remember I wanted a rematch after your wind rider dropped me off in the middle of Winters-Spring."

"I remember you looked ADORABLE in that sundress, prancing about Booty Bay after you lost!" Gazlowe snapped his fingers and his Merchant's Guild servant produced a small chest filled with ice and two raw sunfish, preserved in the cold. "I'm always open for a rematch, little girl! But gold's a lot easier to come by now, it practically falls from the skies in Outland... I'm sure you'd be happy to raise the stakes?"

"Ten gold it is, you copper-pinch!" She grinned. "Just make sure your tailor cuts your dress nice and toasty, because when I win, you'll be entertaining the workers up in Everlook!"

Through a window, Kael'Thas Sunstrider was watching the scene between the two succubi, Lady Vashj, Illidan and his unusual, human ally.

"Who is this girl?" he muttered to himself while stroking his chin. "Where does she come from? And will she be a a hindrance to my plans? Most likely not. Although her arrival was unexpected, she seems to be as delusional as Illidan himself."

He stepped away from the window and walked along the corridor. "If only there was some news from Nargol and his troop... they were supposed to report back to me long before I came here from Tempest Keep..."

As if on cue, a floating eye suddenly came through the window and floated in front of the Blood Elf Prince, startling him. The Eye of Kilrogg circled him once, then a tiny beam of light was projected onto the floor in front of him. Within that light, the face of the Warlock Blood Elf Nargol appeared.

"My prince!" the warlock shouted with excitement. "I've done it... I took the Dimensional Seal from the blue dragon! He flew across the barrens, just as you said he would... we just crossed the portal, and now we're back in Outland. Of course, I know you wanted to hear from our success as soon as possible, so I sent the Eye of Kilrogg to you, with this message..."

"Idiot!" Kael grumbled as quietly as his anger would allow. "I'm not in Tempest Keep right now... I'm in the Black Temple. What if Illidan had listened to what you just told me? Our plans would have been exposed, in the blink of an eye."

Nargol had never heard his prince making puns before...

"I... I'm sorry, Prince Kael'Thas!" he winced. "I thought you'd be overjoyed..."

"I am! Still, we need to be more careful. If Illidan knew that I let you steal one of the most powerful artifacts Malygos himself created to split the barriers between the worlds..."

He then blinked and stopped himself. He stepped back to the window and looked outside, at the black-haired girl that was still standing next to Illidan.

"Could it be...?" he murmured.

"My... my prince?" Nargol asked. "Is something the matter?"

"Quick!" Kael said as he turned back to the warlock's image. "Did the artifact activate while you had it in your grasp?"

"Why, of course not!" Nargol grinned proudly. "I put it into the safety bag you personally gave me, right after we found it. It only flashed once, when I took it out to take a better look at it..."

"WHAT??" the Blood Elf prince shouted, then his hands flew over his mouth.

'I certainly hope that no one has heard that...' he thought to himself.

He took a deep breath and glared at the warlock. "Didn't I clearly tell you NOT to touch it before bringing it to me? Any other spell that might be activated by your touch might interfere with our magic when we summon..." He lowered his voice to an almost inaudible whisper. "...you-know-who."

"Forgive me, my prince!" Nargol now wailed like a little child. "I didn't meant to... it was an accident! Please, punish this unworthy one..."

"Will you calm down?" Kael hissed. He nervously looked around, hoping that nobody would hear the warlock's bawling. "I will punish you as much as you want when you bring the Dimensional Seal to Tempest Keep... and for the Sunwell's sake, don't touch it again!"

"I understand, Prince Kael..." Nargol sighed. "Will you also come back soon?"

"I will try and see if Illidan still needs my services today," Kael explained. "When you reach Tempest Keep, stay in my chamber and wait there. Maybe I will be coming home this evening..."

"Yes, my prince! Shall prepare dinner? My succubus servant is the best cook I know..."

"Oh, I think I will bring another succubus," Kael smiled as he looked out of the window, down to where a certain Sayaad called Xia was standing. "And if her abilities as a cook are as good as her abilities as a masseuse, our meal will be truly delicious..."

The image of Nargol then disappeared, and the Eye of Kilrogg flew back out of the window.

'That fool,' Kael thought. 'If he only knew the results of his carelessness... I just hope that the human girl, Kodachi, is the only creature that was brought to Azeroth by the Dimensional Seal...'

A certain area of the Black Temple was generally known as the 'Warden's Cage'. In the cage, a sleek, female figure was impatiently waiting for her long torment to end...

She glared through the iron bars of the cage, at the figure that was standing close to the cage. No one else was around.

"I can't wait any longer, Akama!" Maiev Shadowsong growled. "If you truly want Illidan's downfall, then let me out of this cage... I can't stand the thought that he does what he wants in Outland, while I am trapped like a rat..."

The broken Draenei turned his head. The long tendrils fell down on his robe, and the magical scythes in his hands were glowing with energy.

"In due time, Maiev," he said. "I've spend years planning to make my move... I can't afford to put my plans in peril by tipping my hand too soon."

"Curse you, Akama!" the imprisoned Night Elf warden hissed. "I am not a pawn in your game... my will is my own. When I unleash my wrath upon Illidan, it will have nothing to do with your foolish scheme!"

Akama just shrugged. He knew Maiev would take any opportunity to bring down Illidan... no matter how much longer he would wait before releasing her. But as things were standing now, she had no chance against the Betrayer... no, first they would need powerful allies... allies that would help them in the battle against Illidan...

Feeling thirsty, Akama reached for his belt, where a skin of dwarven stout was hanging.

His hand only met empty air.

Blinking in surprise, the Draenei turned around his head... and his eyes nearly popped out of their sockets when he saw the diminutive, wrinkled man that was standing close to the cage, drinking from his stout...

Happosai let out a dreamy sigh. "Aaaaaah... now that is good stuff! Akama, you haven't lost your taste when it comes to exquisite drinks."

"What is this?" Maiev gasped in surprise. "Where... where did that gnome come from?"

"Happosai..." Akama muttered. "I thought I would never see you again..."

Maiev narrowed her eyes. "You KNOW this gnome?"

"Not a gnome, Happosai is a human," Akama told her. "And I see that he is as rude as ever... he still takes other people's drinks without asking..."

"Well, nice to see you too, old friend," Happosai smirked. "Long time no see, huh? And I see that you are no longer living within that shabby hut, respect... still, I think you need a new interior decorator. This dark, gloomy atmosphere is definitely out of style." He then smirked at the imprisoned Maiev. "But, I like this little piece of decoration. Akama, you old dog... are you really kinky enough to keep your women in a cage? I never knew you had it in you..."

"WHAT? You fiendish little midget, just you wait until I get out of here, then I'm gonna..." Maiev snarled.

"This temple... I am not its lord. I am merely... a servant."

"A servant, hah!" Maiev shouted. "And Illidan's servant you shall be for all eternity if you don't let me out of here."

Happosai thoughtfully rubbed his chin. "Hmmmm... it looks like many things have happened ever since I visited Draenor the last time."

"It... is a long story, old friend..." Akama sighed.

Happosai sat down. "Tell me, tell me! There's nothing that beats a nice drink and a good story at a warm fire... except, of course, for the panties of a woman... or the panties of many women... although a nice bra is also not to be scoffed at." Out of his pocket, he pulled a soft, bra-like top that had not too long ago been on the body of a certain Naga Sea Witch, and gave it a good sniff.

"Disgusting..." Maiev huffed. "Some acquaintance you have there, Akama... I really shouldn't be surprised..."

Happosai looked over his shoulder. "You shouldn't talk to your elders like that, girl! Especially not if you are the one who let herself be imprisoned in a cage... still, you don't look too bad. What do you say you do a sexy little dance while I listen to Akama's story?"

While Maiev glared daggers at Happosai, something happened to Akama that the aged Draenei would not have believed to be possible anymore: A small smile appeared on his face.

Author's Note:

The first half of this chapter (the parts with Xia and Nabiki) has been written by Atropos, not me.

Also, I know that the Eye of Kilrogg normally does not have that ability. I thought it would be interesting if people could use that spell to communicate with each other.