Disclaimer: Obviously, as before I do not own these characters. They belong to Bioware.

A/N: So I'm not sure if this will be all Fade as I'm kind of curious as to how long she has been out and what is going on with Fenris (wherever he is being held) as well as Isabella and Varric, Aveline, and Merril waiting with the Keeper. Well, whatever happens is kind of out of my hands. It just pops in upstairs and travels to the old fingers. :P BTW for this chapter I have "Dragon Age 2 (explicit) ultime sacrifice 3" playing in the background. I just love the music to this video (the insinuations aren't bad either). Tanukilady is pretty awesome whoever she is.

Haunting Me

Chapter 10

Marian felt her feet hit solid ground. She took a moment with her eyes closed to get oriented before opening them. When she did, she was startled to recognize where she was. She caught her breath dreading the scenes about to unfold before them. "What? What's wrong, Hawke?" Feynriel asked at her elbow, concern etched in his brow.

She waved her hand negatively in the air, silencing him. Turning, she saw Varric and herself walking in the front of the group. The dark was only accentuated by the gloom of the Fade. Only as her figure came closer to viewing, it was brighter than the rest. Her face seemed softer and more caring than she thought it was naturally. Marian was slightly taken aback by the gentleness and beauty radiating almost in waves from this vision of herself.

Marian moaned as she saw Bethany coming up behind her. "Can we stop for a minute?" The phantom Bethany begged.

"Oh Maker. Bethany." She whispered to herself. She watched, listening as Bethany struggled for air, lying on the damned floor of the Deep Roads. Tears coursed down her cheeks as she watched the sisters touch foreheads before her blade sank into Bethany's heart. Marian and her shadow self sank to the floor. One clutching her precious bundle to her chest, the other trying to keep her crying to herself.

Wiping her eyes, she apologized to Feynriel. "I'm sorry. I thought I was over this.." She sighed as she saw Fenris watching her with hooded eyes, examining her as they worked to cover her sister's body with a layer of stones over her body.

Feynriel's hand lay gently upon her shoulder. "Come, Hawke. We need to follow them. This memory isn't over with yet."

She nodded and allowed him to help her to her feet. "I have to admit.. It is vaguely disconcerting to see oneself.." She gestured to the group before them. He nodded to her as they kept behind them. As they moved Varric dropped out of the picture. Aveline, Fenris, Varric, and Isabella stood to the side of marble stairs. The throne room of the Vicount's Keep rose from the ground around her companions. Blurry faces of ox-men and nobles surrounded them. She pushed her way through the group to watch Fenris's vision of herself yet again.

She heard Feynriel gasp and gape at her as the scene unfolded. The Arishok had charged her and she had dodged. She still remembered the feelings coursing through her that day. There was no way she was giving up one of her friends to those people. Isabella had done the right thing, after all, in coming back with their relic. She didn't have to and Hawke knew it. That kind of sacrifice deserved defending. There were no if, ands, or buts about it really. Sure, she realized the ox-men even being in Kirkwall was Isabella's fault, but she didn't deserve whatever punishment the Qunari were going to dish out to her. Marian imagined it would have been quite ugly. Given the chance she was sure she would choose this path again and again.

Marian watched as her image self leapt into the air and brought both daggers down at once into the Arishok's carotid arteries. Blood spurted and bathed them both in it's sticky warmth. She still remembered the feel of it, the copper taste on her lips. She looked on as the Arishok tried to scoot away from her only to be stabbed in the chest by one of her daggers, effectively cutting off his last threatening declaration. She had looked fierce but still there was an ethereal quality to her in these memories.

Marian kept an eye Fenris from his vantage point throughout the battle. He was completely absorbed in her every movement. She had noticed there were times when he flinched as if he wanted to join the fray and fight with her. Maybe protect her? She shook her head. There were so many contradictions with the elf. He left every time she tried to get closer to him. However, he always came back to see her and never sent her away from himself. Then there were these strange memories of herself in his mind. It was all terribly confusing. She knew she cared for him, but wasn't quite sure where his feelings about her fell in with his reasoning.

The people around the two of them faded away. She recognized the inside of her own mansion. Fenris stalked towards her. Smells assaulted her. A sweet flowery fragrance filled the air along with a deeper muskier scent. Realization hit her like a ton of bricks. Oh Maker. This must be what I smell like to him. She watched Fenris meld his mouth to her own and felt a deep pull between her legs at the memory. A flush bloomed in her cheeks as she realized the mage beside her was privy to something she never discussed with any one. Not even Varric knew the explicit details.

She remembered the feel of his tongue warring against her own. The feel of the cool stone at her back as their bodies ground into each other trying to find their way together even through their clothing. She could still feel the scrape of his teeth against her throat. The cool metal of his gauntlets on her thighs as he pulled her skirt around her hips. Each movement played out before her, seemed to be in slow motion, studied from every angle. She glanced at Feynriel, grateful that his back was turned to give her some modicum of privacy. The moans and the little breaths were apparently hard enough to tune out as she saw his ears redden with embarrassment.

She watched as they moved to the bedroom seemingly unwilling to part their bodies from one another as they maneuvered slowly, passionately through the mansion to her quarters. Their clothes seemed to just fall away. She caught her breath at the sight of him. He was so lovely, so beautiful. His markings gracefully accenting his lean muscular form. She remembered tracing the concave curves of his hips with her tongue. She had to close her eyes and take a deep breath as the scene unfolded even further before her. She could see his manhood jutting from his hips as he knelt at the edge of the bed before going to her. His movements much gentled in his memories than they had been in hers. She still remembered the brief pain of him breaking her maidenhead. He probably didn't even know he was the first. Maybe where he had no experience before either? She sighed feeling a slight twinge of regret. There was no answer for it now. Trying to explain it to him now would only result in confusion at best, embarrassment more likely. Marian felt her mouth go dry with desire as she watched their lovemaking.

When they were finally spent and laid in each other's arms, she turned not wanting to watch him leave her again. "Thank you." She murmured to Feynriel. "Not everyone would be so courteous." She had a brief image of Varric standing beside her, in her mind's eye and shuddered.

He nodded curtly, his blush raging across his face. "Everyone deserves to have some amount of privacy. I may walk through people's minds but I don't like to intrude on moments.. such as these." He gestured lamely behind himself. When she heard the click of her front door, she turned to watch if anything else unfolded.

The scenery morphed again and again as she saw herself time and again looking at Fenris during some crisis or after some battle. Sometimes just memories of her calling his name. Other times when a smile would pass her lips at something someone else had said. Always her expression compassionate, sometimes understanding. Is that how I really look or is that how he sees me? She wondered to herself.

She pressed her fingers to her temples as she saw herself from behind holding her mother in her lap. Or rather what was left of her mother. The white veil streamed over her forearm as her mother clutched at her other arm. Her back was stiffened with held in pain. She had tried to put on a brave face for her mother as she lay dying in her arms. Her mother was all she had had left. Fenris had already left her, her siblings had been dead to the darkspawn horde for over a year now, her father had died long before the invasion. She had felt all alone in the world.

The scene changed yet again. She was sitting on her bed and Fenris was coming towards her. He gave her all the time she needed to push him away if she wanted to. When he sat next to her, they were silent for a time. She had reached out and laced her fingers with his. He hadn't pulled away at the contact. She didn't ask him for more. She had been afraid it would have driven him away and left her alone once again. She had desperately needed to connect with someone. Marian had yet to tell him how much it had meant to her that it was he who had come to her and not delegated it to one of her other friends. It must have felt so awkward to him to comfort her even minimally after having left her in such a state before.

Finally, the visions stopped. She almost sighed with relief. It was so difficult having to watch so much tragedy in her own life. It had been so close it was almost like reliving it all over again. "It is done." She said quietly to Feynriel. "His other memories weren't like this. Why was I so.. vivid in these?"

He shrugged. "Honestly, my best guess would be my master thought these memories needed to go and Fenris held onto them regardless." He laced his fingers together stretching as he thought. "It would take someone of immense mental strength to be able to keep something that my master didn't want them to."

She chewed the inside of her lip as she mulled that over in her mind. Shaking her head to clear it, she turned back the way they had come. "Come, Feynriel. I can't be quit of this island fast enough." He nodded and fell into step beside her.

Fenris stood with his back to them in the place where she had killed her sister. As they approached, he turned towards them with a light smile playing about his lips. It wasn't until he stretched his arms towards Marian without words that she let out a little cry and ran to him.

He caught her in his arms swinging her up into the air. "You did it Marian. You freed me." His gauntleted hand stroked down the back of her head teasing through her long hair.

Feynriel kept his distance. "Hawke." He tried calling.

Fenris trailed little kisses down the side of her face. Marian sighed in pleasure. "I could never let anything like what they had planned for you.." She broke off with a hitch in her throat. "I just couldn't."

"Hawke!" Feynriel cried out louder.

Marian turned still not releasing the elf at her side. Fenris had his hands wrapped firmly about her waist. "If you'll just give me one blasted moment Feynriel. I swear we will all get out of here together." She smiled up at Fenris.

"Do you make that promise?" Fenris murmured as he lowered his head to kiss her lips.

Before Hawke could answer, Feynriel threw a blast of energy at Fenris. The elf's body flew back and landed on the hard rock floor of the Deep Roads. Marian sent a scathing look over her shoulder at Feynriel before turning back to look for her elf.

Feynriel threw a prison around her, blocking her from moving. "Feynriel. I swear when this spell lets loose, I will end you." She spat at him.

"Think about where you are! That is not Fenris!" The mage cried back to her. "This is the damned Fade! Act like it, for Maker's sake!"

Her eyes widened in shock. Turning she heard the deep throaty chuckle of a desire demon. "Mage. I had thought you would be smarter than this." Marian closed her eyes berating herself for all kinds of a fool. "Your master will not like you going against his work." She glanced at Marian inside her cage. "And I do not like that you kept the little woman from making a promise to me." She stroked the bars of the cage with a purple finger. "We could still be so good together. You can have your man," She changed into Fenris's body. "And I can have your body to do with what I will in the free world. What say you human?"

Marian grabbed the demon by the hair and slammed it's face into the bars of her prison. The demon laughed and spun out of her grip. Blood leaked from the straight nose of Fenris's form that it had stolen. Marian drew in a deep breath. "Feynriel let me go." She said evenly.

"I can't control when it will." He lamented.

"Either you kill that demon.." She began menacingly. Feynriel eyed Hawke as he removed the staff from his back, he needed no further encouragement. Fire flowed forth from the mage in intense waves. Marian could feel the heat inside her prison. The demon howled and released Fenris's form in favor of it's more natural scales.

Sweat poured down the sides of Feynriel's face as he continued to force out the energy needed to burn the demon alive. He ended the spell before it could envelop his own body. Spinning he rapidly pushed out the power of the staff to strike the demon. She evaded, disappearing every time an attack was going to strike her and appearing in a different spot. Roaring in frustration, he heaved the very ground at her and caught her just as she was appearing right before him. The prison entrapping Marian finally dissipated allowing her to leap upon the prone form on the ground. Hawke led with both of her daggers pointed towards the demon underneath her, slamming into it with enough force that she felt the blades go through the body and dig into the stone floor beneath it. The demon screamed as it's body exploded beneath her.

Feynriel let out a groan as he let his body fall to the ground in exhaustion. Marian moved to his side, "Are you alright?"

He blew out his cheeks. "Yeah, I suppose so. Let's hurry up and finish with this. I've been here far longer than you and I'm growing weaker the longer we stay."

She nodded as she extended her hand to help him to his feet. "Maybe try not to trap me again?"

He frowned at her. "If I hadn't intervened, you would have made a deal with a demon, Hawke. Inadvertently I admit, but still.."

She sighed as she supported him with his arm about her neck. "I know. Don't think I'm not grateful. I just wasn't expecting to.. have the temptation be so subtle like that."

"That is why you have to remain vigilant. It's not always blatant here. Not all demons are stupid or blunt with their intentions." He reached out his hand and brushed the pedestal.

This time, the force of their movement knocked the wind from her lungs. She struggled to stay upright when her feet felt solidly beneath her. Closing her eyes caused her world to sway, she gripped the mage tighter about his chest to keep the both of them from falling flat on their faces. "Maker. What is going on here?"

"This would be the effects from my master's magics at work." Feynriel straightened his shoulders emanating a soft blue light about the two of them. His face visibly paled from the effort. "That should help."

The nausea she didn't realize she was feeling, instantly subsided. "Thank you." He nodded brusquely. There was no scenery here. Everything was dark, the air even had a heavy quality to it that she found stifling. She reached a hand before her, certain that something would meet her grasp and she would be able to reveal whatever was hidden here. "What is this place?"

"This would be where my master operated. If you give me a moment to regain control, I can bring up what he implanted here and maybe we can change things.."

Feynriel's eyes rolled back in his head, his body going limp in her arms. Hawke, unable to support all of his weight at once, braced herself as best she could before lowering them both to the floor. She tried shaking his shoulders gently, then when that didn't work more forcefully. Panic became a rabid animal in her gut trying to work its way out through her skin.

- A -

Anders watched the elvhen blood mage hover over Hawke. The diminutive woman had hardly sat down these last three days. He closed his eyes, trying not to worry as they forced water down Marian's throat to keep her body functioning while her mind was trapped in the Fade for however long need be. Justice had said nothing. He didn't need to. The self-satisfied spirit easily conveyed his sense of self righteousness into Anders with little effort. Gloating, apparently, didn't need words to be expressed between the two of them.

The Guard-Captain had sent a letter to them the day before. Essentially, when Hawke awoke, her ass was getting the royal chew out, if not some time in a hot seat before the templars. Just the thought of the veiled threats in the letter made his blood boil. Granted, he felt that the measures Marian had gone to were in the extreme.. he really felt that he could no longer point fingers. Her idea had had it's own merit even if it lacked finesse in execution.

- I & V -

Isabella waited outside Hawke's mansion. Varric was inside speaking with Bohdan and Sandal. She snorted, trying to get useful information out of the dwarves. It was like pulling teeth. Bohdan insisted they leave a letter and when his mistress again arrived home, she would contact them at her leisure. Sandal insisted on grinning vacantly and scratching his ass as if it held all the answers he could possibly need. She rolled her eyes.

Aveline had been a barrel of laughs when she found them guarding the mansion from invaders. She had assumed, albeit correctly, that they knew something about what had happened. However, they had had absolutely no intention of telling on themselves without Hawke present to keep the Lady Bull in her pen. Isabella had no illusions about the love lost betwixt them during the Qunari uprising not too many months prior. The only thing Varric had let 'slip' was where Hawke's body was currently. Honestly, how that woman managed her job without Varric's convenient information was beyond Isabella's ken.

The beardless dwarf stomped out throwing up his hands in frustration. "You would think that she was just on vacation and not in any danger the way those two react to any thing dealing with her!"

Isabella's lips twitched, trying not to smile. "Worried?"

Varric turned a wry grin her way. "Only if we don't find where that elf is hiding. I swear Hawke would skin us both alive if we didn't do all in our power to find him." He scratched his chin and absently patted Bianca with his free hand while he thought. "I'm thirsty. Let's go get a drink while we think."

"Ohh Varric, you know I love it when you talk like that." She purred in his ear.

The dwarf waved her off him. "Cut it out, Rivani, you know Bianca gets jealous easily."

Isabella pouted prettily before smiling and leading the way to Low Town. "Have you spoken with the Coterie? I'm sure that with the right ideas we could get all the information we wanted out of them."

Varric rolled his eyes. "Isabella, with what I pay those people they come to me first in this city with any relevant news. The only thing we know for sure is the killings of the poor have slowed down to the usual amount. No new missing people from High Town. And the price of Orlesian silks is going to go up in a few months."

She sighed, frustrated, placing her fists on her hips as she walked in front of him. "Well with that attitude we really will get no where and then where will Hawke leave us?"

"Leave you, you mean. I am her lovable trusty dwarf. She wouldn't be able to function without me." He patted Isabella's pert derriere, "Although, if you hadn't noticed, she has quite the sweet spot for you too, Rivani. I don't know of many people who would face down a charging ox-man no matter how well liked the person behind them."

Isabella frowned trying not to let the stabs of guilt gain entry to her conscience. "You're not focusing on the real issue here. Forget about me, she conscripted us to help turn this town into a mad house," She paused smiling at the memory. "Granted it was the most fun I've ever seen in High Town outside of the Rose, but if she's willing to pull stunts like that.." She trailed off hoping that Varric would see her line of thinking.

"Then she would be willing to string us up by our toes to find out what we don't know? Rivani, has anyone told you recently that you're paranoid? Hawke doesn't operate that way. She trusts us to do what we can and knows that it will be the best that we could do with the time and energy that we possessed at the time."

"Damnit all someone had to have seen that woman and Fenris."

"Isabella, how often do you really notice elves or dwarves?"

"I notice everyone."

"Alright, bad example. Let me explain to you something about most humans then. They don't acknowledge the other races unless absolutely necessary to obtain whatever goals they have in mind generally. I doubt your common rabble would really notice an elf and a woman walking together. With the way he regularly dresses they would assume servant." He paused just as they reached the door to the Hanged Man. He punched one fist into the open palm of his other hand. "That's it! Isabella, how similar was Lessa to Hawke?"

"Very! They could have been possible twins."

"What better way could there be to get around in a crisis than to look like the Champion with one of your regular companions. People would part not wanting to get on your bad side and voila you have no interference and no one would think twice about it assuming she was there to straighten out the mess."

Isabella slumped, "Does this mean I don't get a drink now?"

A/N: I hope you like it. Here in a few days it will make an entire month I have been working on this story. Review if you feel so moved, I personally think it turned out pretty alright. Hopefully next chapter we see Fenris again . I wanted to write about it but it's not quite time for it yet. Thanks.