When the green-eyed titan finally reached her home, she found an unexpected surprise waiting in her room.
"Is it over?" asked a monotone voice, but Kori could identify the curiousity that slipped out.
"Yes. I have concluded our relations," Starfire replied.
The empath walked over to her friend and rested her grey hand on her shoulder.
"It was for the best," Raven reassured.
The optimistic princess looked down sadly.
She did not understand why she was so disappointed.
The time they spent together... it had no meaning whatsoever.
It couldn't, she wouldn't let it.
A small sting of pain shot through the alien's chest, her arms wrapping around herself protectively.
No, she can't be missing him.
She can't be hurting, especially this quickly.
Concern filled the lavender-haired girl's eyes, her hand squeezing Kori's shoulder.
"Starfire..." she practically whispered before a trembling Tamaranean laid her head on her shoulder.
Raven did not hesitate to enclose her teammate into an embrace.
She felt the unwanted pain of the other swirl inside of her, which caused her to hug the red-head tighter.
Raven sensed denial and confusion from the other, but she did not understand something herself; wasn't Starfire the one to say you shouldn't deny your feelings?
No, she couldn't put that on her. That wasn't fair.
Through her powers, she understood.
And she was willing to help as much as she could.
When the telepath started hearing faint whimpers, she slowly let them fall to their knees, her hold around her even tighter now.
Everytime she felt her solar-powered friend shake, she felt even more guilty than she did the second before.
Raven tangled her hand through her scarlett hair as she listened to her mewls, which truly killed her.
She was so vulnerable and she was so sad and she was in denial and what made it even worse for her was that she was feeling it too.
Soft sobs began to emanate from Starfire, cries that Raven knew she was trying to hold back.
This was Kori's home, and it was turning her into somebody she did not want to be.
She did not want to lock her emotions up.
She did not want to lie.
She did not want to hurt, peculiarly alone.
Just to be safe, Raven set up sound-proof magic around the pink room with a wave of her arm.
Her hand then returned to rub her hand along Kori's back, and she let herself cry harder.
"Starfire, it's okay to be sad. If you try to push your feelings back, they're going to burn you up," the half-demon girl comforted quite sadly.
"I believe," she paused to take a shaky breath,"it is getting less challenging," another breath,"everyday, but all the more painful," Star choked out in reply.
"Star, you cannot let yourself take on the traits of others. I know that people on Earth, they confuse you with withdrawing from what is hurting them. But through them, you have to learn. If something is hurting you, you can't just put on a smile and pretend there's nothing there. You are denying your own emotions, Starfire. You will never be free if you let yourself drown in your confusion and sadness."
The foreign beauty's head was pounding and her bawls were slowly diminishing.
She slowly lifts her head and makes eye contact with her dear comrade, her wonderful, amazing friend.
Despite the pain that still lingered in her eyes, a genuine and honest smile was placed on her face.
The cloaked girl brushed strands of red hair that stuck to the others face due to her tears. She couldn't help but smile back; her happiness was always contagious. She was also glad she made her smile. She didn't think she could take looking at the sad little girl for another second. It made her feel... more at peace.
Kori squeezed her eyes shut for a moment and shook her head as an attempt to remove the blurriness from her eyes. When she could see her friend's face clearly, her smile returned.
After a small giggle and a sniffle, she began to speak.
"Raven, you are correct. I... have not refrained myself from becoming attatched to these unspoken rules. Raven, I thank you, dearly. And I also apologize."
"What're you sorry for, Star?" Raven asked curiously, her voice kind and tender.
Starfire looked down at the floor, quickly sorting out the words she wanted to say in her head. Raven has always been there for her. What she wanted to say, it was what she believed.
"For being a burden to you," she confessed, finding it hard to make eye contact.
Of course, the empath was taken aback.
Her eyes widened in shock, her mouth slightly open. A flash of guilt suddenly struck her as she stared at the pained princess.
What else was she hiding?
The half-human shook her head in disbelief. She thought of herself as a burden?
Kori still couldn't manage to look the other in the eyes. She just couldn't.
"Starfire, look at me," the dark girl softly demanded.
The golden-skinned alien merely shook her head as if she were a naive child, refusing to look at the disappointment she was sure was pasted on Raven's face.
She could never stand that; when someone showed that what she said or did was a letdown.
It pained her. And she couldn't take the chance of justify the opposite of her prophecy.
"Starfire," Raven pleaded again, the worry in her tone audible.
When she didn't move her head, not even the slightest bit, Raven took Kori's face in her hands and turned it to hers slightly more roughly than she intended to.
"Star, you are my friend. You are my family. And I care about you. I care about what you have to say and I care about what you do. I may not show it, but I really, really do. You are not, and never will be, a burden to me," she argued.
Another tear rolled down the cheek of the princess, the corners of her mouth turned up in appreciation for the beautiful empath right in front of her. The dark beauty wiped a grey thumb across Star's cheek, returning a smaller smile.
Due to Starfire's breakdown, Raven had become more sensitive herself. She not only felt the pain of her polar opposite, but felt true worry and fear for her. Both of them had grown to accept and learn from each other. They shared things with one another than they wouldn't tell anyone else. Starfire was an important part of her life, and she had no intention of ever hurting her, or at least on purpose.
"Koriand'r, you mean so much to me. You are not an annoyance to me or to anyone else on this team. That, I promise you."
The alien couldn't help but make her smile even wider. Raven was a sister to her. A real sister. She could never repay her family for all they have done for her.
But of course, she'll try her best.
She threw her steel-plated arms around Raven's neck and squeezed hard.
It didn't help that she had super-strength.
Raven had a loose grip on her orange ally, using the little oxygen she had to choke out "Star... fire... can't... bre...athe."
Kori's eyes widened before she broke off their hug and resumed her spot from before.
"Oh... I apologize," she giggled, a light tint of red on her cheeks from the sudden embarrassment.
The telepath nodded in forgiveness before laying her hand on the other heroine's knee.
"Are you going to be fine? Do you want me to sleep in here tonight?" she inquired.
Starfire rolled her lips together and thought for a moment before responding with "I will be fine on my own, friend Raven. Thank you."
"You sure?"
"I am the positive."
The violet-eyed girl nodded once more before standing up, removing the magic she summoned around the room.
Starfire followed her sister to the door, giving her one more hug (a hug that was not so bone-crushing) which lasted longer than either of them expected.
"Remember that I'll always be there to help you, Star," the half-demon reminded the once again happy princess.
She smiled and nodded, merely saying, "I know for sure."
After an exchange of "good nights," the emerald-eyed beauty slipped off her boots and flopped down onto her circular bed.
She was so tired.
But she felt happiness bubbling inside of her.
It will take time.
But she had someone who cares.
And she hadn't felt this free of troubles in a long time.
Jason had grabbed a pack of cigarettes and lighter before climbing out onto the firescape.
He had only a wife beater and boxers on, but who cares? It's three in the fucking morning.
Jason used to smoke on a daily basis until Kori had found out. Of course, she had read the warning label on the box and scolded him as if he were her child.
After that, he almost completely forgot about that cheap pain reliever.
He had started smoking when he was twelve or something and it was just a habit he had picked up off the streets. It just felt so good to have something that made him temporarily forget about everything and he could only focus on the smoke that filled his lungs and the terrible but familiar scent was soothing to him and it only got better when he tasted his first beer and now his drug, his perfect drug was gone.
So he resorted to a former one.
What the fuck was he feeling?
Why was she on his mind?
"Fucking moron..." he cursed to himself.
She wouldn't have stayed for long, anyways. He knew this was coming. He shouldn't feel so bad about it. She wasn't all that great, anyways.
The theif took a long drag of his cigarrete and blew out the rest of the poisonous air.
God fucking dammit.
He knew he was lying to himself.
Why did he let this happen? After all he's went through, he let himself get comfortable with another person and he already knows they're all gonna leave one way or another and he's so stupid how could he let himself do this? It was gonna hurt and he couldn't deal with that pain anymore he just couldn't and he'd rather drop dead all over again than feel that fucking unbearable fucking sinking and sadness and anger in his chest and all over his body and he wouldn't allow himself but of course he broke his own rules just like he's broken every other.
He was so angry at himself.
Just so fucking angry and he wanted to break everything he saw and his breathing was heavy and he was supposed to stay dead.
Why is he back? Why did he have to come back?
The death he remembered, it was relaxing.
He felt the agonizing heat of the explosion, but then he saw flashes.
And his body gave out.
His heart slowed to a full stop and then he relaxed.
It felt like Heaven.
But he was pretty sure he ended up in Hell.
He'd rather be there than feel the developing misery.
She wasn't coming back! She just wasn't! She's gone, just like everyone else that was in his life, and she'll forget about him and he'll never forget about her and his dear Kori, he misses her so fucking much and he wants nothing more than to see her and he wants nothing more than to hold her and he wants nothing more than to kiss her again but he needs to refrain himself but he really wants to but he thinks it's more of a need. But that's not happening. It's just not. They both called it off and it's just a rain check that's gonna last forever.
He felt his whole body start to shake uncontrollably with his hands curled into fists and his knuckles turned white and he was so angry and he was so sad and he didn't know how to go through this again he just didn't know.
It was suddenly hard to breathe and he didn't realize that he dropped his cigarette and there was a huge lump in his throat and his eyes started to burn. No. He couldn't cry, no no no, not even by himself.
She wasn't worth it, she wasn't worth it.
But she was.
She just reminded him of people he used to know.
Good people.
And she was there to help and she was there to hold him and she was there to fulfill his greatest desires and she was everything he wished for.
The fact that they wouldn't be seeing each other anymore just killed him.
Just fucking tore him up.
She was perfect, despite how insecure she was.
Kori, she was so much more to him.
And damn, did he miss her.
So, he squeezes his eyes shut, and silently pleads for her to come back, come back, come back. He couldn't afford another person leaving him. He was so selfish to make her risk her chances with Dick, but he needed her.
And because she left, he lets himself cry.
The broken bird just lets himself cry.
Jason lets the tears stream down his face because it hurt so damn much and he fucking hates this vulnerability, fucking hates this sadness but he just wants her with him and he wishes she would fly here right now and kiss his tears away and tell him she'll stay with him, tell him that she'll always be there and she'll never ever even bother to try to leave.
He did not understand why he must go through different levels of fucking Hell when he finally gets what he wants and he wonders why he feels the need to be so closed and trapped within himself and he ponders why he always gets hurt. God, there was no fucking words to describe his hatred for these emotions and he wants them to go away and he wants everything out of his god damn fucking head and he wants her here with him like she was and she has to come back, she cares, doesn't she? She has to care, so she must be coming back, she has to come back one day. But it was all false hope.
He can't get her beautiful face out of his head.
That gorgeous fucking face just lingered in his mind, taunting him.
They're never gonna be together again.
He knows it's true.
But he doesn't want it to be.
He doesn't want it to be over.
There was something there. He knows they both felt it.
She was absolutely lovely to him.
And he refuses to let her go away.
He just doesn't care anymore.
He needs her.
It was just all the time they spent together and she was so perfect to him and she was such a doll and she was a total catch and what was she doing with him in the first place? She deserved so much more, but you don't question miracles. He got close to her and she talked to him and she told him about her and he may or may not have told her things about him and she was wonderful in every way and how was that darling so insecure? She was absolutely fantastic and so beautiful and she listened to him and she knows what to say, always knows the right words. He also loved the way she would kiss him and the way she would wrap herself around him and the way she bites her lip (which she did a lot) and he makes her stutter and he can't even form correct sentences when he thinks of her and she's just so... so glorious and he knows she has to be missing him too, right? She saw the sadness in her eyes when she said goodbye and holy fuck he misses her so damn much it's completely unbelievable.
With her gone, his mind was just so jumbled and he can't exactly think straight and no, no he can't do that to her, he just can't.
She's gonna get caught, idiot! And what if you hurt her?!
You're gonna hurt her, just like you were hurt! And she's gonna fall! She's gonna remember that it's better to burn out than to fade away!
He knew, he knew it was best for them to stay apart but wasn't what he needed more important? No, no, he's just another selfish asshole. But wouldn't she care enough? Can he sneak out to Titans Tower? No, something bad will happen to the both of them, he knows it.
He's so selfish. What was he thinking?
He can't do that to her.
He's the one whose not worth it.
She shouldn't risk so much for him all over again.
He knows it's best to leave it alone.
So he wipes the tears from his eyes, those dreadful tears, and climbs back into his home.
The sad little boy grabs a bottle of vodka, takes a swig, and waits for it to numb the pain away.