Vader Vs Astaroth
Vader's big debut! No matter how lame the prequels and George Lucas try to make him seem.
FYI George, we know you're pulling this stuff out of your ass now. Don't deny it, you've lost it.
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters and discard the above as the ramblings of someone who is too insignificant to be sued.
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"Hmm, the force is unnaturally strong here." Vader commented, his breathing heavy as it whirred through the filters of his helmet. Ever since arriving on this planet it had been giving off these weird signals. As though there were rouge Jedis here the force seemed to concentrate around certain people, both the light and dark sides. The concentration was too high to be put down to mood. Something was definitely up, and he didn't mean the golem that had just dropped from the ceiling.
"Aha! Now I will reclaim my Soul Edge shards from… wait. Who the hell are you?" Astaroth asked.
"I am the dark lord of the Sith."
"Sith?"
"A religion based on a master and an apprentice in manipulation of the dark side of the force."
"Wait… so you're a cult made of two people? The cult that created me has more members than that." The golem scoffed.
"Numbers are not important. We control the galaxy."
"Then how come I never heard of you?"
"It's a long way away."
"So you rule with what? Breathing problems and black cloaks with non-subsancial looking weaponry?"
"I find your lack of faith disturbing." Vader said, holding out his hand in a choking motion.
"Is…that supposed to do anything?"
"You're supposed to be choking right now."
"Oh… there's where you're going wrong. I don't use this throat, it's just for show. My genetalia however are still connected to thee nervous system."
"…" Vader moved his hand lower and balled it into a fist.
"OH GODS! THE PAIN! WHY DID I TELL YOU THAT?" He screamed in a high pitched voice, falling to the floor in a foetal position.
"The force is strong, yet you are weak. Perhaps the disturbance is caused by something else." He sighed, leaving the Golem to either die in the wasteland or…
"Heh heh, sucker. That didn't hurt me a bit, only my heart works and is vital to me." He suddenly grasped his chest and fell back down.
"Fool."
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Astaroth sure is dumb huh? Who's next for the stage of destiny? You decide.