Maya had been practicing her cello for quite a long time in the living room. She had made sure to play very slow melodies, ones that Miles probably couldn't hear while he was lying upstairs in her bed- but on the off chance that he could hear them, they would probably put him back to sleep. There was a certain soothingness about the instrument that comforted Maya without any words or lyrics having to be said to accompany it.

She had seen how exhausted he had looked when he had lied down to rest, but it had been a handful of hours and her mother was going to be home soon from work. Mrs. Matlin didn't approve of Maya missing classes, but would allow her to miss a day every once in awhile if her anxiety was particularly hard to handle. Unfortunately, she didn't think that having Miles over to sleep was a particularly good excuse. Even in her head, the excuse sounded a bit lame. It hadn't been lame to Maya though. As long as Miles was happy and healthy, there would be nothing to worry about. She understood more than anyone about how badly sleeplessness could affect a person. She had remembered the days the last year where she wouldn't sleep for days at a time, her mind wracked with dreams of high ledges. It had been a despairing, messy and extremely confusing time.

Gently placing her cello bow down next to the large instrument and leaning it against the wall, she got up and made her way upstairs. She didn't mind having Miles over for as long as he needed, but Maya didn't make the rules or the decisions of the house. She knocked on the door, listening.

"I'm up, I swear." Miles's slightly muffled voice rang out from the room and the blonde quickly flung open the door, walking inside. He looked extremely groggy from his sleep and his hair was plastered to his forehead, but also well rested. Tentatively taking a seat on the edge of her bed, Maya pursed her lips.

"Do you know this is the first time in awhile that I've seen your eyes without bags under them?" She was smiling, but kept her eyes on his earnestly.

Miles put his head down and rubbed his face, blinking as he continued to wake up. "Now that I don't doubt. I haven't had a good sleep in…weeks. Maybe a month. Maybe it's something about the environment in here, but I slept like a baby."

"Noted" Maya commented, laughing softly as she watched him sit up more. "There's only one problem."

"What?"

"Well, you're probably gonna be up all night since you got so much sleep during the day."

Miles made a face and shook his head, one of his hands gripping the covers as he pulled them to the side. "Don't worry about that ever happening. I can never get sleep at my house. The silence is murder, but the yelling was bad too."

"Are you sleeping at all during the night?" Maya's concerned eyes stayed locked on his, making sure he was being truthful. Miles often lied when he was too stubborn to ask for help from anybody, but she saw right through it.

"Honestly? No. Not at all." He spoke, shaking his head. "It's too bad though, I think I've messed up your attendance record. You should really let Simpson hear your excuse- you invited me over so I could sleep."

Maya rolled her eyes, scooting further down on the bed so she could sit comfortably. "Uh huh. Maybe you should tell him, since you're such a regular down at the office."

"A regular?" Miles smirked mockingly. "Oh, so you think I'm some kind of troublemaker now? I can assure you, I'm an angel." They both laughed and he shook his head, completely aware of how ridiculous the statement sounded. "It's strange though- I have to wait outside Simpson's office for a good thirty minutes to get scolded by him."

"Ooh, a whole thirty minutes? How did you ever survive?" Maya laughed easily, realizing that it almost felt normal to talk to Miles like this again. They had been friends while they were dating and close after that, but she would have never guessed that they would both be hanging out on her bed and talking just like old times. "You know, they should really make an express pass or something for regulars, so you won't have to be kept waiting for so long."

"Express pass to the Principal's office, now that would be a perfect piece of evidence for my parents to send me back to boarding school. It'll be a job finding one that'll take me with my record, though- two arsons."

"Well I would highly suggest showing that express pass to your parents then." Maya's smile faded a little, pushing her blonde curls behind her ears. "You know, you've had a lot of pressure on you for so long. You deserve to let go of some of that stress, if only for a little while." Struck by an inspiration, she continued. "You're having a party tomorrow night, right?"

"I'd hope I know the date of my own party, seeing as it was me who planned it." He let out a light chuckle, his eyes curious as to where this conversation was going. "Why, were you suggesting that we should go together or something? I think it'd be too much of an honor coming along with the Superstar of Degrassi."

Maya opened her mouth slightly, internally cringing. "Oh uh, yeah! Well- no actually. That's not what I meant, I mean I'm coming to the party with my band. We always hang out before gigs so we can get ready and make sure we have the song order down that we're going to play." She saw a flicker of what looked like disappointment in Miles's eyes and quickly plunged on. "But uh, I'm sure you could find someone to go with. Zoe?"

Miles's eyes widened, his face wrinkling with distaste. "You're not serious."

"Okay, okay. Stupid idea." She held her hands up, smiling slightly. She didn't want to suggest the next person on her mind, but figured that there might be a change that Miles would say yes. "What about Tristan?"

Miles sucked in a breath, averting his eyes from Maya. The laughter had died down a little from his eyes and his features seemed to sink into what looked like dissent. "No. I uh, I thought we might be friends again one day, but those days are gone." He looked back up at Maya, as if suddenly struck to continue on. "He wasn't right for me. I pretended like he was, like I was infatuated with him, but I couldn't be. It was easy to fake it when you weren't around, but when you are around…he's nothing to me."

Maya wasn't exactly Tristan's biggest fan after his unnecessary grudge against her because of Mr. Yates, but chose not to voice this. Miles bringing up his love for Maya that he held in the past made her stop a little, thinking about his words. He couldn't possibly still feel the same way about her. Looking back up at him, she chose her words carefully. "So…when you were with him, you were in love with…"

She couldn't do it, couldn't bring herself to say that he had been in love with her. Maya had no idea why it was difficult to bring up this topic- perhaps because the two had never talked about it, gained any sense of closure. She had shut him down at The Dot after his father had won the election, but that was hardly closure.

"Yes- I was." He seemed to have read her mind, his eyes still resting on hers as he watched her expression, probably for signs of repulsion or embarrassment. Maya wasn't embarrassed, and never had been. She had been flattered that Miles felt this strongly towards her in the past, but it hadn't been the right time and Cam was ever so fresh in her mind with all of the anxiety she was dealing with. She had needed to focus on herself- but that didn't mean she didn't feel anything towards him.

"Well I'm not sure I'll be going with Esme either." Miles shook his head, pausing a little at Maya's confused expression. "We're…friends, yes, but she's not really a party person. I have no idea what kind of person she is, to be honest."

Steering his thoughts back into a more positive territory, Maya took a breath and offered him a smile. "Well since you've been really stressed lately, how about you let loose a little at the party? You know, swim a little. Eat some food. Drink if you want to."

At this suggestion, he shrugged his shoulders but she could see a smile building up on his face. "Well I do know that your music will be amazing."

Flattered at the compliment, Maya flushed with pride. Few of her friends had really complimented her on her music, even while knowing how hard she worked and passionate she was about it. "Well, this is your chance for fun! Push the anxiety away for a little and put yourself out there. Sure beats lying around in bed." Her lips curved into a smile. "I mean, that's how I got my nerve back."

"How can there be so much strength in one little body?" He raised an eyebrow, glancing over at Maya, clearly looking impressed and a bit envious. Considering her idea, he nodded his head. "Maybe you're right. Hosting a party and disappearing into the house wouldn't exactly make me a warm host, would it?"

"Exactly, and greeting guests is basically mandatory" Maya reminded him, smiling encouragingly. "So- how about I join you after I finish playing? We both could use a little more fun. Anxiety is a serious killer of all things enjoyable."

"Do you actually have anxiety?" Miles looked mildly surprised. "But you have no problem talking to anyone, or going up onstage-"

"That's social anxiety," Maya reminded him.

"Right, yeah, but it's just so hard to imagine you suffering with that. You're so bright, you're like a ray of sunlight sometimes."

Maya smiled a little, shrugging her shoulders. "I'm not always sunny, despite what people think. It's just- for the majority of the time you've known me, all of the suffering I did was in secret. I guess that's what happens when you keep secrets though, eventually they come out."

His eyes meeting hers again, he paused for a moment. "Are you alright?"

"Oh, yeah, of course" was her immediate response, nodding her head and swinging her legs back and forth as they hit the comforter. This response was a lot easier than spouting out her irrational fears and anxieties. "I mean, I'm so over last year. I want to move on."

There was a pause. Then, smiling slightly, Miles broke the silence. "So you want to hang out, at the party?"

"Yeah, of course." She nodded her head. "Zig won't be there, and I've kind of missed just hanging out with you."

"So have I" he replied at once. "So what will this hanging out consist of? From what I remember, you're a pretty crappy swimmer."

Maya scowled playfully, picking up one of the pillows that was lying on her bed and hitting him with it. "I am not crappy, I just never got lessons. My older sister's the athlete, I'm the musician." Pausing, she considered. "Besides, I can still float in your pool without drowning- that's something. We can drink a little, my stress has been through the roof lately."

Miles's expression of shock at these words was almost comical, his mouth opening a little. "You drink?"

Laughing, Maya looked down. "Well uh, sometimes. I don't drink a lot or anything like that, but from time to time I can let loose a little. Don't like, tell anyone about that though. Especially my mom, she'd kill me."

"Your secret's safe with me." He barely stifled a smirk at this information, evidently having never pictured her drunk before. "Are you a lightweight though? I can always get you some beer if you can't handle anything with a higher alcohol content." Miles's tone was more mocking than helpful, and the blonde girl stuck her tongue out in response.

"No, I'm not a lightweight." She paused, her mouth shutting. "I'm a mean drunk."

"So am I."

Maya glanced over at him and couldn't help but burst into soft giggles, leaning her head to the side so it could rest on her shoulder as she swung her feet. "Oh, so you're nice when you're sober?"

"Nice as I'll ever be." His mocking tone matched hers, a smile twisting at his lips.

Maya's eyes widened slightly as she heard the front door creak open from downstairs, the familiar sound of her mother's crutches on the hardwood floor. Sitting up, she bit her lip nervously. "That's my mom…I didn't expect you to sleep this long. Is it already five?" She checked her clock and groaned quietly, sinking back down. "Great, we're busted."

"Ah, but you're forgetting how resourceful I can be" Miles reminded her, raising a hand. He crossed her room in a couple of strides before undoing the latch on her window and pushing it wide open. Glancing back at her, he smirked slightly. "I'll leave through the window. You get in bed, so it looks like you're the one who messed it up. Tell your mother you were sick or something."

Maya nodded quickly in agreement to this plan, quickly pulling out her comforter so she could slip underneath it comfortably. "You know, you really have to stop entering and exiting through my window" she reminded him. "One of these days, it's gonna be someone who isn't you."

"And I'm sure that will be a sad, sad day in the world of Maya Matlin" Miles replied, already slipping out of the window and closing it shut. Maya glanced at the window for a few moments, the simple deja vu of the moment washing over her. The last time that he had left through her window Maya and Miles had been together. It made her think of all of the purposes that he used to come over- more than half of the time it was just to spend time with her.

Turning over and away from the window in her bed, she buried her face in her pillow. Her head shot up a little, inhaling the scent that lingered there after Miles's departure from it. It definitely didn't smell like a girl. Maya quickly grabbed a bit of perfume from her bedside table and spritzed it on the pillow before lying back down again, although she regretted it- she kind of liked the smell of that cologne. She burrowed further into the mattress, enjoying the warmth Miles had left in her bed after sleeping there for hours. She was much smaller than he was, so she could lie comfortably in the patch of warmth- it was almost as if he was still there with her. Her memories backtracked a little, her mind flashing with images of his arms tight around her waist and his front comfortably resting on her back. She remembered the warm, comforting kisses he would press to her neck and the long periods of time where he would simply press his face into her hair. She had asked him on more than one occasion if her hair had been suffocating him, but he had always insisted. She could also remember other things- his hands tracing the curves of her hips, venturing places that she suddenly didn't want to remember him touching. It felt too strange- even though Zig and Maya weren't doing very well, he was still her loyal boyfriend.

Blinking a little, Maya averted her thoughts from these old memories and turned over once more so she was on the colder side of her bed. This felt better to her, normality sinking back into her veins. This wasn't the past anymore- she was with Zig, who she somehow never associated with any kind of warmth. This conscious thought brought her no comfort, but immense regret. She clocked the strange thoughts up to just being tired, figuring she had simply gotten another flash of deja vu.