Chapter 9

Tris POV

Lynn, Al, and I went to this place called 'The Pit'. It was a really cool place. There were fights you could watch, and food, and even a tattoo parlor. I actually had a really good time. I haven't felt this way in a while. It's nice. I'm lying in my bed right now. I'm writing a new song. It's almost done. The reality of the song made me cry while writing it. I really just need some peace and quiet right now. So if course, 'The Gang' is blasting their music next door.

I can't focus on my song with all that fucking noise. I'm just gonna have to ask them to turn it down. I walk out of our apartment and go up their door. I raise my hand to knock, praying it's Four who answers. But of course, with my luck Zeke answers it.

"What do you want?" he spits.

"I was just asking if you guys could please turn down your music? I'm trying to focus on something really important, and that music isn't helping." I say calmly.

"Oh really?" he says with raised eyebrows. Okay I'm getting pissed off. I keep my form.

"Please, just for a little while? Like ten minutes. That's all I'm asking."

"Zeke, bro! Whose there? Oh hey Tris." It's Four.

"Yeah, I was just asking if you could turn the music down? I'm working on something in my room and you know, the walls are really thin so…" I trail off. Zeke pushes Four out of the way.

"We'll call this revenge for last night." And with that, he slams the door. You know, I've kinda come to the conclusion that they're all a bunch of dip-shits. I let out a puff of air and trudge my way back to my room. Mac called earlier saying he had a really big case and probably wasn't going to be back till late tomorrow. I have the apartment all to myself, which is unusual actually.

I have no idea what to do. I don't really want to call Al and Lynn because I don't want to bother them. I'm scared of what I can do when I'm by myself. I'm so fucking tired though. Maybe I'll get some sleep.

o0o

I feel numb. I can here the belt cracking and the sound of it hitting my back. My mother is upstairs in her room. She's plugging her ears. I'm sure of it. She likes to believe this isn't happening. He is really mad tonight. I don't even know why. "HEY!" I hear a shout. Oh please no. It's Caleb. He is the only thing I have; he can't get hurt because of me. I don't really know what happened next. I woke up to find out he didn't.

o0o

I wake with a scream. I hate that one. I'm crying. I also hate that. I get up from my bed and start pacing around the room. There's a vase of roses on my dresser. I grab it and throw at the wall. "Fuck!" I scream. I'm bawling now. I do to the corner of my room, slide down the wall, pull my knees to my chest and wrap my arms around them.

'Kill yourself'

'You're disgusting'

"Shut up." I whisper.

'Nobody loves you'

'You're a fuckup'

'You deserved it'

"Shut up!" louder this time.

'You're way to fat'

'You should skip lunch'

'Slit your wrists, you attention whore'

"SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP!" I scream. This happens sometimes. The voices. They're hard to get rid of. I can't breath. I'm trying to but nothing is happening. The song. Think about the song. Oh. I just finished. Okay this is good, I'm calming down. I get up from my fetal position and make my way over to my bed where my song-book is. The music has stopped. From the other room, I mean. A banging on my wall.

"What the hell is going on over there!?"

"N-nothing." I stutter out. It goes quiet. I sigh. Not of relief, but of tiredness. I don't want to be here anymore. But that goddamned song. I need to finish it. I know exactly what I'm going to use it for.

It'll be the last thing I ever do.

A/N: a bit shorter but I'm so tired. I did change the name. Sorry for any confusion. NEXT CHAPTER UP ON SATURDAY. It'll be longer. Thank you.

DM me. I get bored and want to talk to people. Love you.

-Adara