Major apologies for huge delay between updates. As always a massive thank you to amnodo for betaing this chapter. Also thanks to everyone that has reviewed.
Chapter 10
Phil watched as though he was in a trance as Jack fled the room. He wanted to yell out and stop him, but no words came out. He wanted to tell Jack that it wasn't his fault, but how could he when he also blamed himself. He wanted to beat the crap out of the people that put Danny in the hospital. But Danny really needed all of them, especially Jack. Out of all of them, Jack was the one that Danny trusted the most. He sighed, he had promised Danny that when he woke up he wouldn't be alone and he wasn't going to break that promise. He wanted to react, he wanted to run and catch up with Jack. He wanted to yell at Jack and try to get it through his thick skull that Danny needed him; that it wasn't his fault. But how could he do that when he still blamed himself?
"What the hell?" he ranted, not knowing what else to say. "He was all broken up about Danny's disappearance and now when the kid needs him the most, he bails!"
"It's just his way of dealing," Viv explained with a gentle smile. "He needs to feel like he's doing some thing. He needs to feel like he's helping Danny and, in his mind, that's avenging what happened to him."
"But it's not his fault!" Phil exclaimed.
"And it's not your fault, but you still blame yourself." Viv said gently.
"You don't understand; it is my fault!" Phil exclaimed. "There was nothing Jack could've done but…"
"But what Phil," Viv said cutting him off. "But what Phil?"
"I could've done something!"
"Like what? Sure you should have treated him better, but that's in the past. Anyway, with the childhood Danny had I doubt that would've made a difference."
"But…"
"But nothing, Phil. You said it yourself Danny needs us. What he doesn't need is a bunch of guilt-ridden people sitting around him. So goddamn swallow your guilt and do something constructive like support the poor kid," Viv said in a forceful tone.
Phil stared at his feet for a while before replying. "You're right." He was just about to continue when a nurse entered the room.
"Are you here for Agent Taylor?" she asked
"Yes, can we see him now?" Viv asked quickly.
"Yes, but only one at a time," the nurse replied.
Phil looked down, feeling uncomfortable under Viv's glare. "I'll go," he said as he finally found his voice. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before he followed the nurse out of the door. The corridors seemed endless as he wandered down them. He wondered if they would ever end. Finally, after what felt like a lifetime, he arrived at his destination. He was vaguely aware of saying something before he found himself entering the room.
He took another deep breath before he walked up to see someone who was usually so full of life, look so pale and almost lifeless. He had never seen Danny look so young and vulnerable nor did ever want to again.
Phil sat in silence for a while as he tried to collect himself. This was not the end. Danny was going to pull through. Danny was going to be part of the team. He just hoped that Danny would recover, and when he did, he would still want to be on Jack's team.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Jack rested his head against the steering wheel for a few moments before he started the engine. Part of him knew he should've stayed at the hospital to support Danny, but what good would that do? Viv and Phil were there, and besides he doubted Danny would like to see the ugly face that got him into this mess. No it would be best for Danny if he dealt with the people that hurt him. Then maybe he would be comfortable enough to visit Danny. Danny was a tough kid, he had survived worse. He was going to be fine and certainly didn't need him to achieve that. He sighed and started the engine as he headed back towards the office.
He was completely oblivious to time on his trip over to the office. The only thing that was charging through his mind was… revenge. No one hurt one his agents and got away with it no one. He didn't know what made the situation worse – the fact that the main culprit was Danny's father or that fact that he was dead. He closed his eyes as he stumbled into the elevator. He raked his hands through his dishevelled hair in an attempt to pull himself together. He didn't care if his anger was contained; those bastards deserved everything that was coming to them after what they did to Danny.
As he reached the interrogation room, he took a deep breath before he stepped in. In front of him stood one thick set man with a slightly amused expression on his face. He could feel his blood boil, but forced himself to show no outward signs – for the time being anyway.
"Look, I have been sitting here for several hours in this cold, damp room. The lighting is too bright and I believe my human rights have been infringed. So I was wondering if one of you could let me know why the hell I am here?" Carlos Rodriquez said.
Jack clenched his jaw as he tried to contain his anger. If he brutally beat the living daylights out of this scumbag, it wouldn't help Danny and that bastard would walk free. "You know exactly why you are here," he growled.
"No I don't and I am going to sue you for infringing on my human rights," Carlos said with a smirk.
Jack swung around and slammed both of his fists down on the interrogation room table, the sound echoing around the small room. "How about the kidnap, torture and attempted murder of a federal agent for starters," he growled, barely containing his anger.
"What?" Carlos exclaimed, suddenly nervously looking around the small room. "I didn't know he was a fed."
"Oh? That makes it okay then?" Jack growled as he kicked the chair that Carlos was sitting on, causing it to crash to the ground.
"No u-mm, I-I want a deal."
"So are you confessing to the kidnap, torture and attempted murder of a federal agent?" Jack asked coldly, as he clenched his fists.
"I-I, I-I didn't know he was a fed," Carlos stammered as he repeated himself again, as his tough façade began to rapid fall apart. "You have still infringed on my human rights!"
"Right now, I don't give a flying fuck about your human rights!" Jack yelled. He took a breath as he composed himself again. He felt a small, evil smile play on his lips. "But as you were arrested on terrorism charges, I did nothing legally wrong. In fact, I have several more hours before you are entitled to legal advice."
"Look I want a deal, I can help you," Carlos stammered as his eyes darted around the room.
"You can help me?" Jack said with a raised eyebrow.
"Yes I-I c-can help you," Carlos stammered with a terrified smile.
"There is no fucking way in hell I am going to get you a deal, when you put one of my agents in a critical condition. And you better start praying that he pulls through and makes a full recovery, because if he doesn't you will get the death penalty." Jack leaned forward and whispered in Carlos's ear, "and it wouldn't be humanly done by the state, it will be done by me."
"I-I I-I swear I-I didn't know he was a fed. I-I was only following o-orders. I-I swear I didn't know he was a fed," Carlos stammered as he looked for means of escape.
"So that makes it okay?" Jack growled.
"U-mm, I-I."
Jack looked at Carlos in disgust. He couldn't deal with this scum any longer. He couldn't stand to be in the same room a moment longer because he knew if he did, he would end up killing the bastard. He took one final disgusted look at Carlos before he stormed out. "He's all yours," he growled at one of the FBI counter terrorism agents.
As his felt his emotions begin to get the better of him, he quickened his pace. Once in his office, he collapsed on his couch and held his head his hands. He felt tears of guilt and emotion streaming down his face. Danny had to make in it, he had no idea what he would do if he didn't. He took a breath and rubbed his face. He had to do some thing. It was his fault that Danny was hurt and at the very least he could do some thing to help Danny's mother. After taking a moment to collect himself, he picked up the phone and began to make phone calls.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Phil didn't know how long he had been sitting, waiting for Danny to wake up. He figured that he must have drifted off for a bit. As he glanced at his watch, he confirmed his assumption. Eight hours had passed and Danny looked exactly the same, if anything he looked worse. He knew the next forty hours were going to be critical but how Danny looked now, he didn't think that Danny would be see another sunrise. He took Danny's hand and gently squeezed it. "Danny, come on kid you've got to wake up. Viv and I are really worried. Jack, well I'm really worried about him. He blames himself for everything that has happened to you. Oh, then there is your mom, she doesn't know anything about this, but she loves you. Please kiddo just open your eyes for me."
Phil looked at Danny for any signs of response but found none. He gently rested a hand on Danny's forehead. "Just keep on fighting Danny-boy, just fight."
He groaned as he stumbled through the inky darkness. Each step he took was more terrifying that the last. He heard a voice in the distance, he started to walk towards it but as he did, pain slammed into his body. He gasped as he tried to escape, but there was no escape. The sounds and light overloaded his senses. Even though the inky darkness was terrifying he wanted sink back into it – anything was better than this.
"D-Danny!" Phil stammered as he found two focused eyes staring at him. "Danny, Danny-boy its okay kiddo, you're safe. You're in hospital but you're going to be all right."
Danny blinked several times as he tried to make sense of his surrounding. He closed his eyes as the events of the last couple of days caught up with him. He had some how dragged the team into the mess that was his life. His mom was dead and to top it all, he'd most likely lost his job. But as he became more aware of his surroundings, he realised there was something down his throat that stopping him breathing. He tried to get at whatever stopping him from breathing, but something was stopping him from doing that as well.
"Danny, Danny, no, that's helping you breathe," Phil said as he gently took arm – preventing him from pulling the respirator out. "Danny, listen to me. You're in hospital and you're going be fine, but you just have to calm down."
Danny allowed himself to relax slightly. He tried to hold back the tears that threatened to escape, but he couldn't. He barely understood what was going around him, but what he did know was that he was unless. He looked away, he felt so ashamed he just wanted the world to open and swallow him.
"Danny, what's the matter?" Phil asked his voice laced with concern.
Danny looked away again. He couldn't face anyone. He had loved his job at the FBI; he had finally been respected. And now because his stupid mistakes, that respect had been taken away faster that he had earned it.
"Danny I can't help you if don't tell me what's wrong," Phil said gently as he took Danny's and squeezed it. "Danny I can help you, I want to help you."
Danny closed his eyes as fatigue began to set in once more, but tears continued to stream down his face. It wouldn't make any difference if he told Phil; he already thought he was the scum of the earth. He was vaguely aware of mouthing 'Jack' and 'job' before exhaustion took hold.
"Oh Danny," Phil whispered as he gently wiped the tears from Danny's eyes. He gently ran a hand through Danny's hair. "Danny, its not your fault Jack's just a little messed up at the moment. But I promise you, you haven't lost your job." Phil took a shaky breath as he tried to compose himself. He knew Jack had dealt with the scum hours ago but what he didn't understand was; why hadn't Jack visited Danny. But he was going to find out and correct Jack's errors.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Phil stormed through the bullpen and into Jack's office. "What the hell is up with you?" he yelled as he slammed the door behind him.
"What!" Jack exclaimed, as he looked up from his paperwork.
"You know what I am talking about!"
"No I don't," Jack growled as he stood up and glared at Phil.
"Danny, that's who I'm talking about," Phil yelled.
"If you hadn't noticed I'm trying to help him," Jack yelled back.
"By what? Doing paperwork! Jack, the case is closed. Danny needs you."
"No, he doesn't. I am the reason he is in the hospital!"
"It's not your fucking fault. You were the one that bonded with Danny! And now the poor kid is all screwed up about it. He thinks you are going to fire him, he thinks it's his fault," Phil exclaimed as he picked up some of the paperwork on Jack's desk and threw it at the room.
"I can fucking suspend you for your actions," Jack yelled back as he looked between the scattered papers and Phil.
"I don't care. All I care about right now is Danny. You were the one that bonded with him, and now you're the one that's abandoned him. He's been through enough in his life, he doesn't need to go through it again," Phil continued in a much softer tone.
"I can't Phil, I can't. I should've protected him, I should've of helped him. I-I should've of see this happening and prevented it," Jack said in a small, lost voice.
"Jack it's not about you or I, or anyone else for that matter. It's about Danny and the support he needs," Phil said in a gentle voice. "Please visit him, tell him that it's not his fault. Tell him that he still has a job," he urged.
Jack raked his hands through his untamed hair, which matched his dishevelled appearance. "I-I don't know Phil, I don't know. I mean, I mean of course he has a job and of course it's not his fault. But-but I-I, but you're wrong Phil it is my fault," he stammered, as he looked around – avoiding eye contact.
Phil sighed; he knew what Jack was feeling all to well. "Jack, look I know it's difficult but put aside your feelings. Just go and visit Danny," he pleaded.
Jack slowly nodded. He slowly walked to his desk and grabbed his coat. It had felt colder since he had opened Danny's case. He didn't know if that was because of guilt or the actual temperature. He bid a vague goodbye and thanks to Phil before he headed out of the door. He knew he should have done this several hours ago, but he had been so riddled with guilt that he hadn't. He had been too weak, too selfish to visit one of his agents. An agent who has no one, Jack sighed that's where things got complicated. Danny did have a family member who he apparently loved – his mother. The complicated thing was that she believed Danny was dead and they hadn't seen each other in fourteen years.
Jack looked up and stared in disbelief as he found himself outside the hospital. He silently cursed for not asking Phil for a lift, he was obviously not in the right state to drive. He wandered as though he was in a trance through the endless cold, sterile, hospital corridors. He closed his eyes briefly as some how arrived outside Danny's room. He stared inside at the pale form as he tried to prepare himself, but he took a breath and pushed the door open. He grimaced as he noted the still vivid bruises and ghostly pale skin, that looked starkly white compared to the white sheets. He slowly sat down and took Danny's hand, being careful not to mess up any of the tubes or wires attached to his agent. He was glad Danny was asleep as it gave him a chance to continue to prepare himself.
Danny groaned as he felt the morphine wearing off. He would do anything to numb the pain or the endless thoughts and images running through his head. He would even have a drink, just to forget for a couple of hours. He knew he had to make a decision about his mother, but he didn't know what that decision should be. The team – well Phil and Viv had really supportive, but he still didn't know what to do. And then there was Jack and his job. Phil and Viv had tried to reassure him that he still had his job, but he didn't believe it – why else would Jack be avoiding him?
Jack blinked several time as Danny stirred. He reached forward and took Danny's hand. "Danny, it's okay. You are safe now," he reassured.
Danny slowly opened his eyes, but had to blink several times in disbelief. He couldn't believe Jack was there. He closed his eyes again without a word. The only reason Jack was here was to fire him.
"It's okay," Jack reassured. He clenched his jaw, Phil had been right. Danny was blaming himself. If he hadn't been so messed with his thoughts, he would've seen this and done something about it sooner. But he hadn't, just like he hadn't helped Danny before. He had failed him and he was continuing to fail. "It's not your fault, I don't blame you for anything."
Danny frowned and slowly turned his head to face Jack. "What?" he said in a small weak voice. "S-So you're n-not going to fire me?"
"No of course not, why do you think that?"
"Because of what I have done!" Danny exclaimed
"You did nothing wrong! You paid blackmail, which isn't illegal. You got shot, which isn't illegal. You were kidnapped! You did nothing wrong, so why the hell would I fire you?" Jack exclaimed.
Danny tried to concentrate on Jack's words but it was so hard. Everything was rapidly becoming one blur of pain. It was becoming increasing difficult to breathe. He tried to curl up into a protective ball, but something was stopping him. It felt like there was a lead weight on his chest. He started to cough and was vaguely aware of a warm liquid running down his chin. He didn't understand why Jack was looking so terrified. He closed his eyes as he gave into the darkness – away from the struggle, the pain and confusion.