Chapter 10 - Saiyan Pride

A Note from the Author:
Okay guys, this chapter is where things become SERIOUS SHIT. I MEAN SERIOUS. I MEAN I'M GOING TO FUCKING POUR MY HEART OUT FROM HOW HARD IT HURT ME WHEN YOU FUCKERS DIDN'T BUY MY NEW GAME 'DUKE NUKEM FOREVER' (It's still for sale fyi, mind helping me eat this week?). You'll probably know where I start to let out all of my emotions and shit, but I'll remind you just in case. Remember, I had balls of steel... and you fuckers made em rust.

Come get some, Duke - - - - -

"HOLY SHIT, C'MON GORILLA WE NEED TO GET TO TGI FRIDAYS BEFORE THESE FUCKS BLOW THE CITY!" Kevin James knew well the only funny part in his movie, and even then it was going to be a long shot to make it worth seeing. He had no choice but to give Haruhi and co the finger as he hopped onto the back of a blue man with a dildo coming out of his head and rode his way down to TGI Fridays.
"Well piss!" Exclaimed Haruhi, "Now I'll never get to make sweet sweet love with my true love."
"WTF HARHI!" Kyon exclaimed, punching Itsuki to the ground so he could confront her, "KEVIN JAMES IS YOUR TRUE LOVE!"
"Ya"
THE END

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"BUT HE DOESNT LUV U 5EVER LIKE I DO! He only love his FOOOOOOD" Kyon explained, however was interrupted by the sharp sound of WUUBWUBWUBWUUB.
"WUBUBUBUBUB" the Skralx roared, stretching its wings. The massive beast appeared similar to that of a Pteradactyl, except half of his head appeared to be caught in some sort of terrible shaving accident and it looked like it was trying to cover that up with a combover. Kyon wasn't convinced.
"HEY YA BIG SKRALX, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HAIR!"
"It's cool..." Mikuru murmured, wubs begining to hum in her eyes as she fell into the Skralx's spell, "Drop... the bass..." she murmured, slowly approaching the beast.
"AWWWE YEA, LET'S SPRAY WUB N' STUFF ALL OVER THIS COUNTRY, AND THEN THE WORLD!" Death Mouse the Fifth exclaimed, his hand outstretched as he commanded the Skralx to spread its wub upon Haurhan, "DROP THE BASS!" he commanded, a massive fishlike creature falling from the heavens above, ready to flatten Haruhi.
"!" Kyon shouted in matrex slo-mo as the fish was bout to crush Haruhis, then suddenly.
PEW PEW PEW PEW Another figure fell from the sky, firing rapid bursts of energy into the bass and destroying it before it could be dropped.
"ENOUGH!" the figure shouted, tearing through the fish and dropping infront of Haruhi. It was BASS! "It looks like there was a little flaw in your plan, DeadMouse!" Bass shouted, "When you wanted the Skralx to drop the Bass, you forgot about me!"
"Bass you BASTARD! I should've killed you when I had the chance! But I won't make that mistake again!" Dedmews shouted, his crown igniting into flames as he leaped from the Skralx, his eyes glowing eerily as he tilted his head to one side, "I guess I'll just have to kill you myself."
"I WON'T HAVE MY GOOD NAME TARNISHED BY YOU AND THE SKRALX ANYMORE!" Bass shouted, his eyes alight with rage, "I AM THE STRONGEST ROBOT IN THE WORLD! I WON'T BE MADE A FOOL BY SOME FUCKING HISPTREN BASTARDS!" Bass fired hard at the Skrlax but it was no use.
"WUBUBUBUBUBUB" the Skrlax let out its terrifying wail, causing Bass' elephant like ears to pick it up full force, putting him hard into a migraine.
"GAH! I... CANT TAKE IT!" Bass fired in all directions, inadvertedly killing Itsuki with his fire.
"Face it Bass, it's all over." DeceasedMau5 approached him slowly, grabbing him by the neck, "You should've just stayed quiet and let us rule the world, but now we'll need to kill you too" SNAP. With that Bass fell limp. Then he exploded like shit does in MegaMen games when the player touches spikes GOD I FUCKING HATE THOSE PLATFORMS THAT GO INVISIBLE AND DRO.
"YOU WHOREFACED COCK SUCKInG MONSTER!" Mikuru shouted, snapped from her daze. She secretly had major crushes on Bass, and now that he was dropped into hell by the Skralx's deadly roar, she had a bad case of ripped up heart. Too bad Dr. House was busy in Germany dealing with the T-Virus.
Swiftly Mikuru took a knife out of her fake boobs and leaped forward, slashing the Deadrat5 in the neck and watching him go limp. Tears escaped her soft eyes, her soul broken as she watch the mau5 fall to his knees, "I... didn't want it to end like this... I didn't... want him to die..." Kyon was ferociously masterbating the entire time, finding it hard not to resist. After all, wining is such a turn on.
"Heh... heh..."
Mikuru gasped in shock, her bloody knife falling to the ground as her eyes opened wide in horror.
"HA HA HA HA HA HAH HAH!" Deadmau7 laughed hysterically, standing up triumphantly as blood rushed down his body, "HA HA HA HAH HAH HAH HAH!"
"M- Mau5! Snap out of i-" Before Haruhi could finish she felt a terrible stabbing sensation in her chest. She was stabbed! And by the DEADMOOSE4!
"I DID IT!" Deadmoth5 screamed, "I FINALLY KILLED EVERYONE I WANTED TO KILL! THEY'RE ALL DEAD! AND I DID IT ALL FOR YOU SKRALX! WAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"Deadma5..." Haruhi sputtered, coughing up a splash of crimson fluids, "Wh-... why...?" the brave girl trembled, for the first time in her life she was experiencing true fear as she felt the weight of her body crash upon her. Her eyes went wide, unfocused on everything but the coming fate before her. She knew for once in her life that the SOS Brigade wouldn't be able to bring her out of this mess. She had been too careless... She had let them all down... And now, pure shame and terror became all she could feel as death's cold grip latched onto her soul.
"Sayonara, HARUWHORE!" Deadmau5e shouted, ripping the blade from her chest. Haruhi's vision began to cloud, her eyes filling with tears as her body crashed to the ground. She lay there, her muscle spasms causing her body to shake though she could move no more. She didn't want to die, she didn't want this to be the end. She had her whole life ahead of her, and now that was that? It was all just... gone?
A terrible sensation of utter emptiness consumed Haruhi, her skin going cold as her eyes completely clouded over. It was too late for her to feel Kyon hovering over her, shaking her, trying to force her back to life though it was all for naught. This was the end for Haruhi and she knew it.
"I... sorry... K- Kyon..." she let out in a hoarse whisper, "I... l-... y-" and with that her body went completely limp, her eyelids falling to a close.
Haruhi Suzumiya was dead. (That was the part, fuckers)
" !" Kyon screamed, prematurely ejaculating after prodding his dick into Haruhi as an attempt to wake her up.
"WHY!" Nagato screamed suddenly, her gaze locked in a fitting rage on the Mous5, "WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DIE IN THE FIRST PLACE, DEADMAS! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DIE SO YOU CANT DIE SO YOU COULD KILL HARUHANSAMA!"
"Why...?" The mua5 looked puzzled for a moment, tilting his head to the side as he ripped a short bowel movement, "Why... it was all a mistake really..." he slipped his hand quietly into his pocket, revealing a small tome. The word 'DEATHNOTE' graced its cover, as the mau5 slowly opened to the first page, "I stumbled onto this little notebook by chance one day... and so I decided to mark what was mine" On the first page of the book, writted in short delicate handwritting were the words 'This book belongs to: Joel Zimmerman', "But I had no idea of what power the book contained... and not long after I felt a terrible pain in my chest... and I died... so now... now I'm simple... DEEDmau5..." he grinned viciously, jagged teeth forcing their way through his gigantic maufive head, "But it was worth every pulse of agony, FOR NOW I AM A DEVIL!" he shouted, lunging forward to tear Kyon apart with his viscous mause claws!
"OH NO!" Kyon startled, however the claws being as they were slipped around leaving him unharmed.
"SKRAHHHHHHHHH!" The beast roared, flapping it's massive wings as it took flight.
"Woah! Wait for me Skralx! I'm your partner!" Deadmasu shouted, leaping a tremeandous height and landing softly onto the Skralx's back, "We'll be going to destroy the one thing you all treasure most next. If you want to even try and stop us, meet us there. Or else you'll die." Dedmujs claimed, laughing hysterically again as the Skralx took off.
"No..." Kyon murmured quietly, his boner all but lost its hardness, "No it can't... it can't be..."
"Sounds as though you've got a dying animal to attend to, eh old chum?" A voice spoke cockily, the SOS Brigade (sans Haruhag) turned swiftly to see who it was. A strange blue creature with tentacles for feet and arms, and a fancy unibrow stood before them. His body was blue, and his eyes large and like ovals.
"Who are you!" Kyone demanded, defending Haruhi's bloody remainds.
"IIII am Squilliam Fancyson and only IIIIII know how to bring back your girrrrrrrrLLLLL." the squid spoke in a taunt, his large nose inflating a deflating as he honked out a short chuckle.
"But we don't have time for this!" Shouted Mikuru, "We need to stop the Skralx before he destroys the one thing we love most!"
"But what do we love most?" Kyone asked.
Nagato's eyes went wide with horror as she spoke a single word to answer all of their questions,
"Black Ops."
- - - - -

Meanwhile, Dr Robotnik (from AoSTH) stumbled upon Dr Robotnik (from SatAM)'s old lab and found the old shrek remains and continued the mecha shrek project.
"SKKKKKKKKKKKRATCH! GRRRRRRRROWNDA!" he shouted, "Come and witness my most ingenious creation ever!" he demanded, the two metallic cronies quickly making their way to his labratory. The ingenious doctor pulled aside a curtain, revealing his newest creation. The large ogre stood like he had in the past, though now something was different about Shrek. The back of his head was made entirely of metal, and only red slits remained in place of what were once his eyes.
"It's an ingenious combination of metallic prototypes and monstrous ogre flesh! I call it... Borgre!"
"I. Am. An. Borgre. Rah." the remains of Shrek spoke robotically, tearing apart a set of Robotnik's experimental tools.
"GAAAAAAH! YOU PINGAS! THAT WAS MY NEXT CREATION!"
"Get. Out. Of. My. Swamp." jet engines suddenly burst to life in Mecha Shrek's ass, a legion of flames exploding from his nether regions as the mecha ogre took off into the skies, going god knows where.
"Where is he heading, your ingeniousness?" Grounder questioned, Robotnik ripping his nose cone off and shoving it up Scratch's BUTT.
"I DON'T KNOW! But when I do know... I'll be sending him back to the scrap heap that he came from! SCRATCH, GROUNDER, FIND ME THAT OGRE!"

Raiden and Siggas got to America. They started smoking up some doobies with Falkor, completely missing the Skralx as it flew past them cause they were total Stonemen at this point.
It wasn't until hours later that the 2 were shooken back to their senses.
"Oh no! Siggas my old friend, do you know where the Skralx is going?"
"To get a blowjob from Kim Kardashian? Cause I know that's where I'd be going if I had wub powers."
"No my friend, he's going to destroy the world of online gaming as we know it... he's going to take out the PSN and Xbox live American servers! Now children will never be able to spend 23 of the 24 hours of their miserable lives skipping school to shoot 12 year olds in a title that has been rated suitable for 17 year old mature adults!" At this point Raiden turned to face the viewers, "Of course we wouldn't have this problem if you PARENTS would get off your lazy asses and pay attention to what your kids are actually doing in their rooms all day long." Raiden was obviously still high as a muthafucking kite, but he had a point. The Skralx was going to destroy online gaming as the world knew it.
"AW HEEEEL NO! I AINT GONNA HAVE SOME FATASS SKRALX TAKE AWAY MY XBOX LIVE!" Siggas shouted, summoning his ki as burst rushing into the air. Raiden nodded, summoning his lightning as following shortly after. Falkor met up with Dudley the Dragon and Dudley from Street Fighter and they were all totally shootin' the shit, so Raiden decided not to bother him.

THE END

Yeah Haruhi's fuckin DEAD. DEAL IT.