This is it, guys! The final chapter! There will be an epilogue, but I might take a few days before I write it- it's the chapter I had planned out the least, besides the intermission. I also might go through the whole thing and clean up the grammar- I already did this once, but I find new typos every time I read though it. And also, last chance to guess what Lao and Cross' "connection" is! I've only gotten one guess so far (on Tumblr); That Cross and Charmaine are related. That's not exactly right, but they do have something in common besides their hair color...

Chapter 8

Plasma

All the fun times,
Now, I'm not sure they were true...

The cathedral was dark and quiet, illuminated only by the street lights through stained-glass windows. Cross' breath caught as she entered- simply closing the door sounded harsh and out of place here. She felt out of place as well. She had no idea what human religion she'd followed on Earth, but Fraisie's antics with the Ma-non had soured her on the concept.

Rows of benches led to a podium, to the right of which was a large grey plaque. Any traces of Lao's funeral had been moved away by now.

This had seemed like a good idea not long ago, but now that she was here... What should she do? She had no idea what a human funeral even entailed… crying? That wasn't likely. Speeches? Lin had said Doug had given a moving one, but there was no one here to listen. Or… maybe she was overthinking this. She wasn't here to give Lao a second funeral, she was here to say goodbye.

Cross took a deep breath. "Lao. I… I'm here to say goodbye. Um… I don't know what to say. I never do- did.

"I've always been terrible with words. But you- you always understood me, even when I said nothing. Sometimes we'd just sit in silence and be together, and I wouldn't have to talk, and you didn't have to keep secrets or lie or hide anything. And… You really appreciated that. You wanted me to know that, and I never told you that I knew, but I do. I wish I'd told you how much that meant to me. How much you meant to me.

"You were… something unreachable. You were so real- you were the most human person I'd ever met. You still are. You were messy and harsh and tired, but also fragile and your heart..! Well, you told me once that my love made you feel alive. But what I felt- it was nothing. You loved so much stronger than I will ever be capable of. You were human in a way I'll never be."

Cross thought back to those final moments at the end, a whirl of pain and confusion and regret. He'd told her something then, but she hadn't understood- until now.

"You thought your heart was lost. You wanted me to find it for you. That was your last request. I've been looking, since that day, and… I think I know where it is now.

"You never lost it. It was injured, but not gone. That pain you felt was love too, even though it hurt so badly it made you want to die. It changed form, became ugly and twisted, but it was still love. And it scared me, I didn't want to admit it, but it was still you. That thing I killed… was you. And those last words I heard when I pulled the trigger, they were also yours."

She was shaking. She'd felt so guilty that she'd fooled herself into thinking that nothing mattered after he'd fallen in. He wasn't Lao anymore, because if he was, then she'd killed Lao. No, Lao was already dead. She'd just killed a monster. And because it was a monster, those words were meaningless.

That was a lie. She thought back, pulled those words to the surface.

("Don't let it end like this! Come and destroy me!"

Cross' skell had been destroyed, her team scattered across the chamber. The monster turned on her, it's fist slamming into her chest. She landed across the room, winded. Her right arm was useless, but her left was mostly unharmed. Her dual-style pistols had been knocked out of her hands, but one was nearby. She reached for it-

A slimy grey hand pinned her down. She could barely breathe for the weight, and the stench of plasma was unbearable. She was panicking, in full survival mode. Her hand groped for her gun, grabbed it, pressed it to the creature's forehead- hesitated.

Two pairs of wild orange eyes met in a state of panic, and for an instant, were calm.

Understanding then, and sadness. An apology.

She didn't understand. Refusal.

One last time, he reached out of his wounded body, touched her, caressed her. They were together, and here in her Room, he couldn't feel any pain. He whispered something in her ear, (his whiskers were rough on her cheek, his breath soft on her skin,) made one final request, curled his fist over her fingers and pulled the trigger.)

Cross had closed her eyes- she could remember it now. His blood had covered her face, run into her eyes, nose, and mouth. It was bitter and acidic, not sweet at all. Freshly fallen blood was supposed to be warm, but his was cold slime. She reached up, almost expecting her hand to come away wet.

It did.

She let out a startled grunt- then felt herself break. No more quiet tears, she was sobbing and screaming now. She stepped forward, leaned on the plaque for support. She opened her eyes, reading names more with her fingers than with blurry vision. It was a monument to the BLADEs that had died reclaiming the Lifehold Core. Written in bold at the top was the word "HEROES."

His name wasn't on it.

She double, triple checked. He was the only real hero that day. He'd killed Luxaar. He'd taken down the Chimera too, not her. It was so petty- she'd heard them talking in the streets, calling him "The Traitor." They refused to say his name. And apparently, they'd done this, too.

She felt like she'd been lit on fire, burning bright enough to consume this miserable planet, bright enough for him to see, to illuminate his soul as she turned to ash.

She smashed it. Stone chunks scattered across the floor, all the way to the entrance. That symbol of pettiness was fragile, in the end. The truth wasn't. The truth would endure.

Her blood was boiling, and it wasn't enough. She went to the podium, threw the books and pens before knocking it over, too. Why wouldn't they forgive him? Why wouldn't they let him rest peacefully?

"Why?"

The benches were next. She ripped the back off of the first, used it to smash the next. Why did he need forgiveness? Why had he left? Why was she never enough?

"Why!?"

She grabbed anything near her- broke it if it was light, threw it if it was not. The windows clattered down in a cascade of color, shattering and nicking her skin in a thousand places.

"You knew, you bastard! You knew what it was like to lose the one person you love most! You felt that pain- you knew better than anyone! Why did you hurt me like that?! Why did you hate me!?

"Why did you leave me!?

"WHY!?"

She fell to her knees. She was surrounded by rubble- it was under her, biting into her legs. She didn't care. She knew, on some level, she'd made a mistake- but it didn't register. She had no reason to move. She'd come to him for answers once, and left dissatisfied. She wouldn't leave this time. She'd sit here and bleed until he told her everything- poured himself out to her as well. No more secrets. No more lies. She'd wait.

She heard crunching behind her. The small voice warned her that she was in trouble. She didn't move.

"You dropped these."

Slowly, she raised her head. A tall man stood there, holding a pair of shiny brown boots. "...Professor B?"

"I dried them with my ******o-matic. They were looking pretty sad."

"...Oh?"

"You were looking pretty sad too, so I just watched for a while. I mistook sad for violently angry, apparently. You're a hard one to read."

"...Sorry."

"Oh, kid. I'm not the one you should be apologizing to. I don't give a $#!&#(^% about this building, but you're not going to be popular in the morning."

She knew she should be embarrassed, but she just felt...numb. She continued staring blankly.

"Why don't you come to my lab? I'll dry your clothes too." He held out his hand, and she took it. He looked down at her legs and shook his head. "Your mim needs repair, and your plasma's a bit murky. Could be a bacterial infection. I'll check that out for you, you don't want to get that getting out of control." He continued muttering about her mim all the way back to his lab. She had trouble following his speech on a good day, but the low rumble was relaxing, and by the time she was in dry, clean clothes with a cup of warm coffee in her hands, her mind was beginning to clear.

She'd never actually been inside his lab before. It was cluttered with half-built weapons and unidentifiable machinery, and smelled a bit like her and Lin's bedroom.

"I'd say excuse the mess, but that sort of thing doesn't seem to bother you," He'd said. The quip had made her feel just a bit… perhaps not better, but different.

"That should be cool enough to drink now."

She was still looking at the table. "Do you have milk? Maybe honey?"

"Do you like your coffee like that? Seems a bit sweet for you. Not that I'm judging."

"It is a little sweet."

"Well, how about I make you a cup the way you like? I don't want to get a reputation for giving out bad coffee."

"...A little sugar, then?"

He smiled, and the coffee was delicious. She'd forgotten how rich the flavor could be.

He sat across from her, watching her drink her brew. "Humor an old man. Tell me about the $(^~% that went and broke your heart. If you want to."

"I… want to see him again."

"That sounds… like it could be trouble, if he ended it." She quirked an eyebrow. "You did trash a building."

"No, it's not like that. He… died. I went to the cathedral to tell him what I never had when he was alive… Things kind of spiraled out of control."

"Why don't you tell him that when he's alive?"

The odd phrasing threw her, but she ignored it. She was talking to Professor B, after all."I was a coward. I hid my feelings from him until he was too far gone to ever love me back." She grabbed the cup for support. "I want to tell him what I said tonight. I want to see him again. But that'll never happen."

"Why? I thought you knew better than to use language like that."

"Huh? He's… he's dead. I said that already. The Lifehold Core's been destroyed, we can't bring him back."

He rubbed his eyes, sighed. "Cross, I'm going to be blunt. I don't think you're considering all the options here."

Her eyes began to water again. "What options? He's gone, completely, he didn't even leave a body behind!"

"We have a time machine, Cross."

Let's get started again (Can we find the key to life?)
Do not scare yourself (I don't want to be apart)
We can take this ride for ourselves,

Now it's time to ride!