Sorry it has been over a week since my last update, I haven't had an off day. So yay for me being off right now! lluvspence I was worried that you didn't like the last chapter! Lol, hope you had a good vacation! So the flashback in this chapter is in italics. As always enjoy! Read and review =)

I'm so nervous, I feel like I want to throw up. I feel like once Spencer gets here I will calm down some.

"Ashley you will going on at ten after Jeremy," said a blonde from the club.

"Okay sounds good," I said with a smile, trying my best to not show how nervous I actually was.

"I'm so excited to see you perform! I'm sure that you'll kill it like your dad used to," said the girl as she walked away.

Where is Spencer? I feel like once she gets here I won't be as nervous. There is just something about her. I feel like I'm starting to trust her, which is slightly terrifying. It's strange, in such a short amount of time I feel such a strong connection to Spencer. I like Spencer too, I've felt this attraction to her since the moment we had our first interaction. I will never act on my feeling though. Maybe in another life Spencer and I would be together, in love and happy. Sadly that will never happen. I'm broken and not even Spencer could fix me. That night everything got taken from me. That night a part of me died. That night everything changed…..

'This is the part when I say I don't want it

I'm stronger than I've been before

This is the part when I break free

Cause I can't resist it no more'

"Ugh I'm so tired of this song!" I complained.

"Really? I love Ariana Grande Ash! How can you not?" said my friend Briana.

"I just can't get into her music," I admitted.

"Listen Bri, I need to talk to you about something," I said nervously.

"What is it Ash?" said Briana.

"I think I'm going to break up with Aiden. He's not the same person anymore. Ever since he joined the basketball team he has been a real jerk. He's not the sweet guy I met in middle school anymore," I admitted.

"Wow, are you sure that's really what you want Ash? I always thought you and Aiden were really happy together," said Briana confused.

"Aiden acts like a completely different person behind closed doors. I need to get out now. I just can't do this anymore," I said wiping away a tear.

"Ash don't cry. If you need to do this I will be behind you every step of the way. You are my best friend and I care about you," said Briana as she hugged me.

"Thanks Bri, it means a lot to know that you have my back. I'm going to go find Aiden, I'll be back shortly," I said as I left in search of Aiden.

"Hey Brad, have you seen Aiden?" I asked.

"Oh yeah, he was playing beer pong last time I seen him Ash," said another guy on the basketball team.

"Thanks Brad," I said as I made my downstairs to find Aiden.

I spotted Aiden and a couple of his teammates over by the table set up in the middle of the room.

"Aiden can I talk to you for a second?" I asked as I made my way over to him.

"Is it important? Because Jake and I planned on taking on the winners in the next round," said Aiden as he watched the current game of beer pong.

"Yes it is important," I said annoyed.

"Alright fine, let's go in the next room," said Aiden as he moved to the next room, closing the door after him.

"Alright so what's so damn important Ash?" asked Aiden with a hint of irritation in his voice.

"Aiden I just can't do us anymore. I'm sorry but it's over between us," I said nervously.

"Right Ash, you threaten to break up every other week," said Aiden with a smirk.

"I'm serious Aiden it's over. I can't do this anymore. You're a completely different person than who you were when we first met," I said to Aiden.

"Oh I see, you're jealous because I'm not some lonely loser that used to follow you around and do whatever you wanted. Sorry I actually became somebody Ash," said Aiden.

"Not what I meant Aid. I think we just want different things. I should go," I said making my way over to the door.

Aiden blocked my exit.

"No don't go Ash. We're still friends first you know. Stay with me, have a drink. Kind of like a goodbye," said Aiden.

"I don't know Aiden, I told Bri I would get a ride with her and you wanted to get back to your game," I said.

"Come on one drink. For old times' sake Ash. I don't want us to lose our friendship," said Aiden with his puppy dog eyes.

"Fine one drink, what could it hurt," I said not caring.

I sat down on the couch while Aiden made our drinks in his dad's bar in the corner of the room.

"Cheers, to a long friendship Ash," said Aiden as he handed me his drink.

"Aiden this is really strong and has a weird after taste," I said choking on some of my drink.

"It's just a really expensive whiskey Ash, you're not used to it," said Aiden as he watched me with a smirk.

I started to feel so warm and fuzzy. Even the room started to move around me.

"Aiden this stuff is way too strong, I feel strange," I said rubbing my numbing face.

"I know Ash, but it makes you feel relaxed," said Aiden as he kissed my neck.

"Hey Aid are you playing next round? Oh shit my bad, I can come back later," said Jake as he popped into the room.

"No man stay, party with us," said Aiden as he rubbed my thigh.

"Bri is looking for me, I really need to go," I said attempting to get up, only to be pushed down by Aiden.

"Bri can find you later Ash. Why don't we show Jake here how much of a freak you really are," said Aiden as he pulled my pants down.

"Aiden stop this now," I said trying to push him off of me.

"Dude turn that music up and lock the door," said Aiden.

"Aiden stop!" I shouted.

"Ash you know you want this," said Aiden as he ripped my shirt open.

"Hey can my boy Marcus join us?" asked Jake.

"Sure man, Ashley likes it freaky, don't you slut?" asked Aiden as he pulled off my bra.

"Aiden please stop!" I said trying to cover my chest.

"Dude hold her down," said Aiden as he unbuckled his pants.

"Please Aiden, I thought you loved me," I cried.

"I'm just giving you what you deserve slut," said Aiden as he pulled down his pants.

"Please, juuuuu stoo," I murmured before blacking out.

When I woke up I could still hear the music from the party. The clock showed that it was four in the morning. I was laying naked on the carpet, the room was empty. I sat up and cried. How could Aiden and his friends do this to me? I looked at my body, there was bruises and scratches all over. I was disgusting. I looked for my clothes, only to find them ripped apart. Luckily Aiden had an oversized black hoodie. I slipped it on and made my way up the stairs though the back door. Everyone was so drunk they didn't even notice me walk by. I walked back to Westcott in the rain, crying and hugging onto my body the whole way. When I got back to my dorm my roommates were still gone, Bri must have went to her boyfriend's place. I grabbed some pajamas and walked down to the bathroom, it was early so the bathroom was empty. I went into a shower and put the water on as hot as it would go. I sat down on the floor and pulled my knees to my chest and hugged my legs and cried. How could this have happened to me? Did I deserve it? I can never tell anyone about this, they will find me repulsive. I just want to be dead right now. Nobody can find out about this, not mom, dad, or Bri. Nobody…

What am I doing, what if I can't do this. God where is Spencer? I took out my phone to text her.

A: Hope you get here soon Spence, I am super nervous! I need you here now before I chicken out!

I really do need Spencer here, I'm so close to walking out.

S: Leaving now, don't be nervous!

Good Spencer is on her way. Calm down Davies, you got this.