A/N: Don't kill me! I am so sorry, life happened and inspiration was LOW.

Chapter 10

Alec has been by my side since everything happened and I couldn't be more grateful. He and Hailey took turns when the other one needed to feed, making sure I wouldn't be alone with Demetri in the vicinity. Things have been bad in the penthouse. For one Demetri and I talked when we were in the same room but we kept things so civil and emotionless that we made everyone else uncomfortable. I could feel and see that he wanted to apologize or say something more but he always held back. Alec and Hailey distracted me with anything else, I suppose they think that keeping me busy would help me to not think about Demetri or the people that I killed. They have also decided to keep me away from the television since there have been reports about the 'massacre' around the clock. But I still have a phone and a laptop so I don't really understand their logic. Alec always takes me back to the woods to feed and Hailey keeps me company when he needs to go feed. Amelia has been surprisingly silent about everything that's happened. Maybe she isn't as heartless as she would like everyone to believe. I have been thinking about the thirteen people a lot and I sent flowers to the families, anonymously, of course. I know that flowers will never make anything fine and I didn't do it to make myself feel better, I just did it to maybe show them that people do care, that the world isn't just filled with bad. Alec has forbidden me to do anything more or try to make things right. He keeps saying that things happen for a reason and that we don't always know the reason straight away but it will become clear later on. I was so shocked at him saying something like that, I mean who would've thought Alec capable of giving advice?

"Elana? Can we maybe go and talk?" Demetri's voice came from my bedroom door, bringing me back from my thoughts. I turned to look at him, actually missing him smiling and laughing with me. I just really miss him, but he hurt me so badly and I don't know how to just move on and forgive him.

"What did you want to talk about?" I asked politely. Alec and Amelia needed to run an errand for Aro and Hailey needed to go with because she hasn't been with Amelia in almost 24-hours.

"Everything I guess." He said and I raised my eyebrows in disbelief. Really? Everything.

"I'm sorry but I can't really discuss your view on what happened and your choice of actions because I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass." I said with an icy smile, turning back to my laptop in front of me. I know I am being childish but I just want him to feel the pain I have been feeling every day. I hate myself for losing control and killing all those people and I hate him even more for not giving me a choice and not listening when I asked about the animal diet. He always said to be patient because it would get better, but it didn't and it never would've.

"Dammit Elana! I'm not leaving you alone until we talked everything through. We are leaving tomorrow and Alec is returning to Volterra. You and Hailey are not allowed to go to Volterra until after you can control your urges. Amelia and I will be staying with you until that time comes. So we will be seeing each other every day and there won't be a Hailey or Alec to keep you busy and away from me. We need to talk about this." He finished now standing a few feet from me. I stood up from the bed with my arms crossed, waiting for him to continue with his rant.

"I know that I have hurt you and I can only imagine how you must feel." He started and I let out a very unladylike snort, he ignored it and continued on. "I know that you can't forgive me for what I did and what it made you do. I am so very deeply sorry for what I have done to you. I knew that you weren't adjusting to feeding from humans, but I kept pressuring you because it would've made things easier for me. I am not asking you to forgive me because I don't think I would've forgiven someone if they did the same to me. I can't even forgive myself for what I have done. Not only is thirteen people dead but I have lost the woman that I love because of my own stupidity and selfishness. I only wanted to tell you that I am sorry and that if I could I would take everything back. But I can't and all that I can do is apologize and hope that someday you might be able to forgive me." he finished out of breath, which was supposed to be impossible since we don't need air.

"I understand that you never wanted to hurt me, but you need to understand that you did. Really badly and I can't just get over that. You were the one person that I trusted in this new world I'm living in and you betrayed that trust. Hailey is the only person I can talk to about everything and we can only do so much if it's just me and her. I don't want to give you false hope but we need for this plan to work. This isn't the life I would've chosen for myself if I had an option. I am not saying you forced me into it either, what happened was an accident and Alec only did what was in Aro's best interest. I'm not sad that I am here anymore, I have accepted that, I get to live out eternity with my best friend, where we get to see the world change. But I need to be free from Aro in order to do all those things with my best friend. And you are the only one that I could trust that knows all the ins and outs of the guard." I said hoping he would understand my feelings on the situation. He was our only hope in even having a chance at destroying Aro. He looked uncertain for a moment, maybe trying to decide who was more important. Aro or me.

"It won't be easy, fighting Aro. He has an army and we are only three people. I don't know how-"

"Wrong! You're vampires. And now we're four. So what's the plan?" Amelia asked from the door, shocking Demetri and I both silent.

So not who I wanted to join the squad, but hey at least we have another one of Aro's supposed followers on our side.

XXXX

"What do you mean she's in on the plan?" Hailey asked pacing in front of my bed, arms crossed. I knew she was going to react like this once I told her what's happened.

"And what the hell did I tell you about Demetri? He pulled the biggest dick move and now you're saying its okay? If you weren't immortal I would've killed you right about now." She continued on, not even giving me a second to answer.

"And you need to be more careful about what you say in the hotel room! What if it wasn't Amelia walking in? What if it had been Alec? He is Aro's most loyal subject and you just talk about killing his king without even caring who hears you. And don't give me the crap about I could've just taken away the memory, Alec's mind is very complicated and very hard to penetrate, believe me I have tried. If you ever do anything as reckless as this again I'm going to lock you in a room until you start to realize how dangerous this is going to be, already is." She finished, stopping in front of me with her hands on her hips, waiting.

"I know I was being irresponsible and I really am sorry. And don't overreact, I didn't forgive him. Not even by a long shot. I made him understand that he hurt me and that things aren't just going to be okay in the next week. I also told him that with us working together towards a common goal doesn't mean that everything is alright and all is forgiven. He needs to earn that, not just assume everything is going to fall into his lap."

"Well that's good. He was a real asshole, but he really is sorry and he regrets ever hurting you the way he did. He's a good man, he just has idiotic moments sometimes." Hailey said and I let out a laugh, hoping he heard Hailey's description of him. What he did was a real dick move and it's going to take a lot for me to forgive him.

"Can you believe we're leaving the states tomorrow? And probably for forever. I don't see how we will ever be able to come back under Aro's command. I mean I know if the plan we have works we can do whatever we want to, but what happens if it doesn't work?" Hailey asked looking up at me questioningly. What will happen to us if the plan doesn't work? Will we both be killed? Or will he decide which one is more valuable and just kill the other one? Or will he keep us both alive and kill all our friends and family?

"I'd rather die than be his little minion. Our plan is going to work. We just need to plan everything perfectly in the next few weeks." I said with certainty.

XXXX

"How does Aro have all of this?" Hailey asked once we were settled on the plane. I shrugged at her when she looked to me for answers.

"The Volturi has interests all over the world. Even though we are the most dangerous creatures on this earth we still need money to get around. Each individual member of the guard also has their own business somewhere to get an income of their own." Alec answered when he came back out of the cockpit. Hailey made a comment that even I couldn't hear and picked up a magazine to read.

"What's going to happen when we arrive in Florence?" I asked when Alec sat down in front of me. "Well you, Hailey, Amelia and Demetri will be staying in another hotel and I will be leaving for Volterra as soon as you are settled in. Now don't fret darling I will be popping in a few times a month to see how you are doing without me. My sister will also occasionally be joining me. So please do try not to kill her she can be annoying as f-"

"Please put on your seatbelts as we will be taking off in five minutes ladies and gentlemen." The pilot said, and Alec just gave me a wink and a smile when I rolled my eyes at his use of words. Settling back I closed my eyes and tried to remain calm for the take off.

I felt Hailey take my hand and gave her a small smile before I settled back into my seat. This is going to be a long flight.