Here's another depressing one, and it's another song-fic. I promise they won't become too frequent of a thing (unless you like them). It's depressing, remember, but I'll try to make the next chapter happier as a reward for sticking with me. Gah, sorry! I just have to get out all of my angst since fluff really isn't my thing :P I PROMISE shameless fluff will be in the next chapter.

SEND ME PROMPTS, PLEASE! I'M RUNNING OUT OF IDEAS!

Also, Rosario + Vampire is consuming my time, so sorry if things don't come out frequently enough.

And a HUGE shout-out to my number one reviewer, splitheart1120. Seriously, I don't get motivated to write another chapter unless I find out you have reviewed. It makes me happy :D

Here's a two-in-one day update because I'm bored. Enjoy! I also didn't feel like editing, so sorry 'bout mistakes and such.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Pokémon; but I might own it after I go to Japan and steal the rights from the people who own it. But I seriously doubt I'd be able to do that without getting thrown into jail.

Back To December

I'm so glad you made time to see me.
How's life? Tell me how's your family.
I haven't seen them in a while.

"Leaf?" Blue asked, opening the door cautiously. His posture was tense and just screamed alarm. I gave him what I could manage of a smile as he glared at me. "What do you want?"

"I, uh, I called and a-asked if I could, you know, talk with you…"

"I know," Blue snapped, crossing his arms over his chest, "start talking. What do you want?" his tone was harsh and I flinched back away from him.

"Um, so, how's Professor Oak? And Daisy? I haven't seen them in a while…"

Blue just stared at me. "Does this conversation have a point?"

You've been good, busier than ever,
We small talk, work and the weather,
Your guard is up and I know why.

"I heard that you've managed to become Virdian's Gym Leader."

Flashback

As I walked by the newspaper stand, the headlines which read "BLUE OAK: VIRDIAN'S CURSE OR SAVIOR?"caught my attention. I lifted it up and began to read. It mentioned Blue and talked about his loss against Red for the place of Elite Four Champion and then how his application for becoming Virdian's new gym leader after it was revealed Giovanni had left. A small smile lifted the corners of my mouth as I read.

Good for him. I should call and congratulate—

My heart ached as I remembered the horrible break-up we have several months ago; how horrible and cold I was to him. I returned the paper to its place, waving off the man who offered it to me for free.

I couldn't call Blue; we no longer spoke with each other and it was all my fault… If I hadn't— I still— it's just—

I still love him…

End Flashback

Blue nodded slowly. "Yeah, I did. It took a while, but they finally allowed me to run it since I used to be the Elite Four Champion and all." He responded. I could hear his anger at Red for ruining his plans. "What about you?"

"I went to Johto. Haven't done much, but I've been helping Professor Elm with his research."

Blue nodded curtly. "That's nice."

"Yeah…" I agreed, nodding as well.

Because the last time you saw me
Is still burned in the back of your mind.
You gave me roses and I left them there to die.

"So, why did you really come here?" Blue asked, still not offering for me to come inside despite the fact that it was pouring outside. If it wasn't for the small awning I would be soaked.

"I—" I stopped, memories about "that night" flooding my mind.

Flashback

"Leaf…?" Blue called, the roses in his hand seeming to wilt along with his expression.

"I want a break from you." I repeated coldly. "I'm tired of your pessimistic attitude and your lack of care; I want a real man who isn't afraid of telling his feelings!" by the end of my short rant, I was shouting; I ignored the hurt in Blue's eyes as I walked away.

"But, Leaf, I can change; I brought you—" he held out the roses and I spun around, my eyes harsh and void of all emotion.

"I don't want your roses. Go away."

Blue swallowed hard, but stayed put.

"Go away, NOW!" I shouted, causing him to take a step back, but still not leaving.

So this is me swallowing my pride,
Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night,"
And I go back to December all the time.

I swallowed hard, biting back my pride that threatened to force me to turn around and leave him like before. "I-I'm so sorry, Blue. I w-was horrid to you and I know I don't deserve a second chance, but—"

Flashback

"Leaf, I love you. I can't leave." Blue protested. I glared at him.

"Well I don't love you."

It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you.
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine.

"—I wanted freedom, but I've realized that you're all I ever wanted, nothing more. Last December, the way I treated you—"

I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right.
I go back to December all the time.

"I want to be free of you. You're just holding me back, Blue." I spat. Blue sucked in a breath and I turned away from him. "Forget it; don't leave. I'll do it myself."

These days I haven't been sleeping,
Staying up, playing back myself leavin'.
When your birthday passed and I didn't call.

Flashback

I wasn't one for guilt, but the way I had treated Blue made me feel like a horrible person. For the last few days I wasn't able to sleep, my mind stuck on replaying the moment I left. Over, and over, and over again. Each time made me feel worse and I didn't know what to do. Should I apologize?

My phone buzzed and I lifted it up. It said "Blue's B-day". I set that so I'd know when to call him. I lifted it closer, preparing to press his number on speed dial, but something stopped me.

I didn't really care, remember? Feeling bad about a harsh break-up was different than calling your ex on his birthday. I closed my phone and set it back on the side table.

And I think about summer, all the beautiful times,
I watched you laughing from the passenger side.
Realized that I loved you in the fall.

"— I can't stop thinking about you, Blue. I realized—" I stopped short, willing myself to finish that sentence. "— I realized in the fall that I loved you, still do. I was angry and fearful—"

And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind
You gave me all your love and all I gave you was "Goodbye".

"— I was afraid that you didn't truly love me. You were always gone and the newspapers kept mentioning all of these girls—" I stopped again. I couldn't make excuses if I was trying for a heartfelt apology. "Sorry, I shouldn't make excuses; you loved me, gave me everything, and I repaid you by leaving. I just—"

So this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night."
And I go back to December all the time.

"—I'm not usually one who does these kinds of things, Blue." I looked up at him, meeting his emotionless gaze. Sometime during my speech, I began to cry. The tears flowed freely down my face probably making me seem like a horrible mess. I scrubbed them away fiercely, but they continued to fall.

"Leaf—"

"I was wrong, Blue. I was so wrong. I realize that now." I broke off and managed a harsh laugh.

It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine.
I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind
I go back to December all the time.

"As I said before, I told you I wanted freedom, but it's just been me missing you this entire time."

Flashback

I stalked away from Blue, not bothering to look back behind me. The rest of the day was spent with me at the game corner squandering my money and then going to Celadon's bar to drink many, many drinks. I was way more than a little tipsy by the time I stumbled home. As I neared my porch, something sitting in one of the chairs caught my attention.

There was a bouquet of roses, the same roses Blue had tried to give me.

I made a disgusted face and fumbled for my keys, unlocking the door, and stumbling inside, leaving the beautiful roses to die.

And die they did.

I miss your tanned skin, your sweet smile,
So good to me, so right
And how you held me in your arms that September night -
The first time you ever saw me cry.

Flashback

I couldn't help it as I cried into my pillow. I missed him, even though it was me who did the leaving. I missed his skin against mine, his cocky yet sweet smile, and they way he treated my. Well, it wasn't exactly like a princess, but it was Blue's way of perfect affection. Arceus, I missed him…

He wasn't here to hold me as I cried, like he used to. And he never would be again…

Maybe this is wishful thinking,
Probably mindless dreaming,
But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right.

"I know this is nothing but wishful thinking, nothing more than mindless dreaming, but if for some bizarre reason you want to take me back, I swear I'll love you right this time."

I'd go back in time and change it but I can't.
So if the chain is on your door I understand.

"I'd go back in time if I could to fix it." I whispered, knowing Blue could still hear me. He shifted but didn't say anything as I went silent. I lifted my eyes once more to stare at him, tears still falling.

"I get it that you don't want to see me again. If you lock your door and threaten me, saying you don't want me to come back, I understand."

But this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night."
And I go back to December...

"Just… before you decide, I want you to know that I truly love you, Blue. I always have and I was stupid to leave and treat you that way. I was stupid for not realizing my true feelings sooner. I was an idiot, but I still love you." I finished, breathless. I looked away briefly to collect myself before returning my blue eyes to his solid emerald orbs.

It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,
Wishing I'd realize what I had when you were mine.
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right.
I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind

Blue stared at me, long and hard. "You have no idea how many nights I stayed up wishing, hoping, you'd come back and say those things to me."

I stared at him, tears still running down my cheeks, expecting a softer look to be replaced in his eyes.

There wasn't.

"So, that means—" I stared, but was interrupted by Blue's voice, harsh and cold just like mine the night I left him.

"Goodbye, Leaf."

And with that he shut the door in my face. Thunder boomed overhead and lightning crashed in the distance. I stepped backwards into the downpour, my tears mixing with the raindrops. I covered my mouth, stifling a sob, as I turned and fled into the night. I knew there was a slim chance of him taking me back, but still; it… hurt.

Blue and I were over. I just had to wake up and accept it. I could think about last December as much as I want, but it wasn't going to change the way I treated him or the way I coldly left him.

No, I could go back to December all the time, but Blue and I were still over.

I go back to December all the time.
All the time.