Seeing that I'm poised to shoot at him, Peeta raises both hands in the air. He eyes me carefully, then looks down and must be able to see Prim on the floor behind me.
I'm so surprised to see him that it takes me a few seconds to react, to lower my weapon. I set it on the floor and look Peeta over. He seems unharmed.
"Are you both all right?" he asks, dropping his arms.
I nod and Prim steps out from behind me so we're standing side by side. "Are you all right?" she asks. I glance at her for a moment and see that she's smiling kindly at Peeta.
"Yeah," he says with a nod.
"How'd you know we were here?" I ask, tentatively moving toward him.
"I saw you," Peeta says to me, "in the City Circle, and then I watched you both come in here."
When I'm a foot or so away from him, I halt. We hugged goodbye when we left Tigris' shop, but I still feel like I need permission to touch him again.
I'm glad when he holds his arms out for me. Even though I don't want to overwhelm him, I can't resist throwing myself at him and squeezing tightly around his waist. After a few moments, I pull back enough to see his face, which I stare up at with wide eyes.
"I didn't let you out of my sight after we split up," Peeta says softly. His arms tighten around me as he whispers, "I don't want to let you go again."
I don't want to let him go again, either. Surely there has to be some limit to the number of times we can say goodbye, survive dangerous situations, and then find each other again. Maybe this is our last chance.
I smile slightly and lean in once more, nestling my forehead against his neck. I can't believe how good I suddenly feel. Of course I'm still terribly upset about the deaths of the Star Squad and all the other horrors I've seen, but being here with Prim and Peeta…I can't help feeling grateful. I know things could be worse.
"You're bleeding," Prim says suddenly. I pull back from Peeta, glance at Prim, and follow her gaze until I see blood dripping out of the sleeve of Peeta's coat.
"Oh," he says, looking down. "I forgot…it's just a scrape."
"What happened?" I ask, holding up his wrist. I peel the sleeve back and see an angry gash.
"The crowd was really heavy and I ended up next to this fence -"
"We have to clean it right away," Prim insists. She approaches us and takes a look at Peeta's forearm. "The fence wasn't rusty, was it?" she asks with concern.
"Not that I noticed," Peeta answers.
Prim takes hold of Peeta's unwounded arm, leading him out of the room. I step into the hall and watch them reach the bathroom, where Prim turns on the faucet.
I know I can't help, so I return to the storage room and slump against the wall near the door.
The bit of determination I'd felt when I was planning to leave the building seems to have faded away. I don't want to go. I want to stay here with Peeta and Prim, so that I can help him recover more and make her feel safe. But the only way either one of them will be truly safe is if I get rid of Snow. I tell myself that they can help each other, that it's good they're here together. They don't really need me…
A rattling sound startles me and I look up to find that the window is shaking in its frame. In fact, the whole building seems to be shaking. I push myself away from the wall, intent on joining Prim and Peeta, but the sound of a loud explosion makes me stop. The building shakes so aggressively that I feel like I shouldn't move. Seconds drag by like this, and then only a slight rumbling sound remains.
I rush out of the room and to the bathroom doorway, reaching it just in time to see Prim tie a washcloth around Peeta's wounded arm. When they notice my presence, Prim says, "What do you think that was?"
"It sounded like an explosion," I say with a small shrug. "Are you both okay?"
Prim says yes and Peeta nods. Then, together, we return to the storage room. I stand on my toes to look out the window, but the view doesn't appear to have changed any. Peeta steps up to the window beside me. "See anything?" I ask.
"No," he says. I feel Peeta's eyes on me, and I turn to face him. He looks exhausted and sad as he stares down at me. Then his eyes squeeze shut for a moment before he says, "We should look out front." He's halfway to the door by the time I'm able to react. I hurry after him, following him down the stairs. We look out the window through which we entered the building, and what we see makes me gasp.
The street is completely gone; it's been replaced by a huge, seemingly bottomless opening in the ground. I go to the door and pull it open to get a better look. Peeta stands beside me and together we observe the damage. This building seems to be right on the edge of a cliff. I could take a few steps out the door, but wouldn't dare to. The ground is disturbed and looks like it could break off at any moment. This door is no longer an exit for us, and I don't think there are any others.
I step back from the door and Peeta closes it. I briefly take another look around down here, but my only new discovery is a small empty closet. We're stuck in this building.
Peeta moves to go back upstairs, but I catch his wrist and stop him. When he turns to me, I say, "Why did you keep following me after we left Tigris' shop?"
Peeta slides his wrist away in order to clasp my hand. "You know why," he says.
He's right, I do know. But I'd hoped to make him say it. I do my best to smile at him, then lead the way upstairs.
"Was there anything to see?" Prim asks when Peeta and I re-enter the storage room. He drops my hand and closes the door behind us.
"The street and sidewalk outside are gone. There's no way out of here," I say. To myself I add, It's a good thing we all know how to be hungry.
Prim tries to hide it, but I can tell she's relieved. "So, you have to stay here."
I nod my head. I can't leave now, can't try to find Snow.
"If we're all going to stay here," Peeta says, "I think I should wear these." He pulls out the handcuffs, which he'd stuck into his pocket after I unlocked them when we said goodbye at Tigris'.
I frown, but I pull out the key, to show him I've kept it. Peeta nods, fastening one side of the handcuffs to his right wrist. Then, rather doing the same to his other wrist, he walks toward the wall behind Prim and takes a seat on the floor. He lowers the open side of his handcuffs down behind an exposed pipe and then asks me to help him.
I go over to him and say softly, "Is this really necessary?"
"I don't want to take any chances," he replies, just as quietly.
In a way, I'm glad to hear this. It sounds like something the old Peeta would say. I'm reminded of the night before the Quell, when he refused to take the risk of impregnating me. Peeta doesn't take chances with my well-being.
And I know he's right. Even though he hasn't tried to harm me since shortly after he joined the Star Squad, it's not worth the risk. Especially with Prim here.
I snap the second side of the handcuffs over his left wrist, then sit on the floor beside him. "Tell me if you get upset," I say, and he nods acquiescence.
I look over at Prim, who's still standing several feet away, biting her lip.
I wave for her to come sit with us, but she hesitates. "I can…go downstairs for a while if you want to be alone, or -"
She's cut off by another loud booming sound coming from outside. I jump up to check the window again, but there's still nothing to see in this direction. I announce this to Peeta and Prim, then walk over to Prim and wrap my arm around her shoulders. "Don't be silly," I say, leading her over to Peeta. I return to my seat beside him and Prim sits across from us.
After a brief period of silence, Peeta begins asking Prim questions about the healing she does. He gets her talking about District Twelve, the people she helped there, and the kinds of medicines she used. She reminds him of a few of the healing herbs in the plant book and he says he remembers drawing a couple of them. I listen and occasionally join in on the conversation, supplying information that Prim isn't privy to, in order to help Peeta remember.
We spend most of the day like this. We talk about school and life in Twelve, and some of the things we did in Thirteen. Periodically, I go downstairs to see if anything out front changes, but it doesn't. I also look around downstairs for some food and manage to find an unopened box of crackers that fell down into a small, cobwebby space between a shelving unit and a wall. We eat a few around dinner time.
It's frustrating sitting around and doing nothing, but I don't have a choice, so I try to enjoy this little break, and enjoy being with Prim again. I've missed her since I left Thirteen. Occasionally, we hear more loud noises, but none are as bad as those first couple.
Night falls and the room darkens. The only light comes in through that big, high window.
When we feel tired enough to sleep, Prim and I lay down near the wall on the opposite side of the room from where Peeta is handcuffed. She turns her back to me, facing the wall, and I drape my arm over her waist. I'm surprised at how soon she's able to fall asleep. Once I'm certain she's out, I gently pull away and stand up, still feeling restless. I'm exhausted and my eyes are burning but somehow I can't manage to keep them closed. I look out the window again.
"Anything to see?" Peeta whispers. I'm startled; I guess I assumed he, too, would be asleep by now.
"No," I whisper back. I stand by the window for a few seconds, unsure of what to do.
"I'm here, if you want to talk," he says softly, seeming to sense how I'm feeling.
"I do," I say, and make my way over to him. I take a seat near him, leaning on the wall next to the one he's cuffed to, so that our feet nearly touch.
"I saw what happened to Gale," Peeta says. "I'm sorry."
"Thanks," I say.
Peeta's foot lightly touches mine, and I know it would be his hand holding mine if he weren't chained up.
"And thanks for talking to Prim so much about home," I say. "I'm glad you got her thinking about something other than what's going on out there."
"I like talking to her," he says simply, "she's nice." After a moments he adds, "I've never had a little sibling…or a sister."
"Well, you do now," I blurt out. For a moment, I feel nervous about what I've implied, but I can't bring myself to regret it. Peeta's whole family is dead, but I still have Prim, and as far as I know my mother is alive, too. He doesn't have anyone. I want my family to be his family. I want to be his family.
We're both silent for a while. Eventually I say, "Do you want to talk about home?"
His slouched form shrugs. "Sure."
Even in the dark, I can see that he feels worse than I do. I'm exhausted and upset about everything that's happened since we left Thirteen, and he must be, too. But he also has another kind of torment to contend with.
"Oh, Peeta," I say shakily, overwhelmed with sympathy for him.
He sits up straighter and asks, "What is it?"
"I -" I don't know what to say.
"Come here," he whispers.
Without hesitation, I lean against him, wrapping my arms around him and tucking my head against his neck. His arms can't encircle me, but he rests his cheek against my hair and that feels nice.
"I'm sorry," I say, "I'm so sorry I left you in the Quell. I never should have gone off with the wire. I should have insisted Finnick go with Johanna. He could have moved even faster than me. I mean, I know he might have been louder and would have been easier to see, but -"
"Shh," Peeta says, managing to stroke my hair with his cheek. "It's over."
"It's not," I insist, "you're still struggling so much. They - they did terrible things."
"I'll be all right," he says, trying to console me.
I bite my lip and blink back tears. "I'm un-cuffing you," I say.
He doesn't protest. I reach in my pocket and pull out the key, then feel around. It takes a frustratingly long time for me to unlock the handcuffs in the dark, but I manage to get them off of him and then his arms encircle me. It feels so good, so unbelievably good, that I feel like even if he does regress and kill me, it will be worth it to have had these moments of relief. Without even thinking about it, I softly say his name and place a kiss on his warm neck. He starts a little, but then I feel his lips in my hair.
I pull back to see his face. It looks like his eyes are watering, but it's hard to be sure in this poor lighting. "Are you crying?" I whisper.
Peeta blinks twice, then shuts his eyes for a moment. When he opens them, he says, "No, I'm just really tired. My eyes are kind of burning."
So are mine. But Peeta must be even more sleep deprived than I am, if his eyes have started to water over it. "Am I keeping you awake?" I ask.
He shakes his head. "It's the hijacking. Something about the bad memories -"
"False memories," I interject.
Peeta nods. "When they surface, it does something to my mind and gives me this weird rush of energy. After that happens, it's hard to sleep. And since they come up a lot…" he lets his voice trail off.
"Did you have this problem in Thirteen?"
"Yeah, and they would give me pills or injections to put me to sleep. But ever since I left, it's just been getting worse. The insomnia."
I'm furious. I can't stand seeing him suffer like this. Sleep deprivation is torture, and he's been tortured enough. Were I to run into Coin right now, in my current state of exasperated exhaustion, I don't think I would have any problem strangling her with my bare hands. How dare she send someone in Peeta's condition out to fight in a war? Never mind trying to kill me, this is cruel to him. And for no reason. He's never done anything to her. And, in this condition, he's of no use as a soldier.
I wish I had sleeping pills to give him, or that we were near a forest so I could gather some herbs. I can think of a couple offhand that were featured in the plant book as sleep remedies. But I can't even leave this building and there are no forests for miles.
A thought surfaces in in my mind. I remember the night before the Quell, when Peeta and I first laid down to sleep. I wasn't tired at all. But then, mere minutes later, after he touched me and made me feel so good, I felt calm and sleepy.
Perhaps there is something I can do, to help him relax and forget.
I lean in and kiss him on the mouth, knotting both hands in his hair and gently tugging it so his head is tipped back. I try to make my intentions clear in the way I kiss him. After a few seconds of this intensity, I pull back, leaving him breathless. I whisper in his ear, "Come to the bathroom with me."
I think I see a flicker of doubt in his face, and for a moment I'm worried he'll tell me once again that he's not ready. But then the doubt is gone and Peeta nods quickly. I stand up off his lap and lead him out of the room. I've never heard him walk so quietly before; I bet he's trying to be considerate of Prim, who's still asleep.