Oh look, another one. I'm getting close to the end of the chapters here... It's getting to the end, people. (whoever's reading this.)

Chapter 10

Return to the Beginning

There was no body to burry. Not because there wasn't one to begin with anymore, but because the Jefferson Memorial was on strict lockdown by the Enclave. Nobody was to go in, or out.

I sat on the top of Rivet City, letting my legs dangle off the edge of the large boat. These days I did nothing but sit up here and stare into open space. Doctor Roberts decided he needed to keep a close watch on me in case anything happened, so I was staying in Rivet City for a few days.

He tried to get me to eat, but I refused each meal. It's started to take its effect on my body, but I was far from caring how thin I got. Even though height sent some shivers down my spine, I was able to contain my panic enough for me to find at least some serenity. Well, as much serenity as I can possibly get, considering. I didn't find meaning in anything these days… so all I'd do is sit, and clear my mind. I thought I would be afraid of heights after the attack, but Doctor Roberts said I wasn't conscious for the moment I went free falling. So sitting from a great height was no biggy for me. Nights were the worst. Every time I closed my eyes I saw Dad again, his near-lifeless eyes staring right back at me. I would wake up screaming, and completely drenched in sweat. After that I found myself wondering to get some air. A couple of nights like that turned into every night, and I eventually gave up on sleep. Doctor Roberts said he'd have to give me an IV if I don't eat soon. I told him to go ahead with it. There was no way I could keep anything down. Not anymore. Doctor Li and the other scientists fled to the Citidale, where I had met Sarah Lyons for the second time. It seemed each time I saw her I wasn't in the best shape. First time my arm was shot multiple times, and second my bionic brain was burning a hole through my skull. Doctor Li apparently was as raddled as I was, but she didn't have a strict amount of emotion she was able to feel without over-heating. She told me that when I watched my father die my hair seemed to go into mourning. It's been pitch black since the incident. They had found where a G.E.C.K. was located, but there was no way of getting back into the project anymore.

The G.E.C.K. was in some incredibly irradiated Vault somewhere, but nobody stepped up to the plate to get it. After the short, but intense time at the Jefferson Memorial, we all needed our rest.

Even though nobody said anything, I knew they all looked to me to retrieve the damn thing.

My mind raced back to Billy, his dirt-caked face, and his strange, yet comforting accent…

There was no doubt we needed to get this project going again. But I didn't have the strength anymore. If I were to go in the Vault I would just be killed, and what good would that do?

As dull life became after dad's death, I was just not ready to give up on it. Not yet, anyway.

There's this old man, Mister Lopez, who comes and joins me sometimes on the top of Rivet City. He doesn't really say much, and quite frankly, neither do I. But I guess it's good to have some company sometimes. Out of the little that he has said his family was killed by raiders, and he didn't think he had a reason to live anymore. He just stands there and stares down at the irradiated water below. He said he wanted to jump. I keep telling him there's always hope, no matter what, and he should he try to find help in whatever he can. He seems to listen, but I always meet him standing at the edge of the boat.

Still, he's yet to jump.

Life became immensely dull since dad died, and I found myself becoming numb. It started to become unbearable; it felt like I couldn't feel anything anymore. I had to prove to myself that I still had feelings. And that's why I began using my switchblade on my own arm. Of course, I would always hide it from Doctor Roberts. I don't know what he'd do if he saw the cuts. And honestly, I don't want to. I would sneak into his lab at night for disinfectant and gauze, but I never let him see me. I always did it in private. One day when I was wondering around Rivet City aimlessly, Doctor Roberts met me with disappointed eyes.

"What?" I asked, crossing my arms.

"You haven't eaten since we got here." He said.

I shrugged. "So?"

"So? So guess what today is, Tal?" He asked sternly.

When I didn't answer, he did for me.

"IV day. Come here." He said, leading me to his lab. He patted the patient's bed, eyeing me carefully. I obeyed, but reluctantly so, giving a large huff as I sat on the patient's bed.

"Come on, once we get some nutrients in you maybe you'll start feeling better." Doctor Roberts said.

I said nothing as he stabbed the needle straight into my vein, and inserted the tube. There was a sharp stinging, but I held in the pain swiftly. It actually felt kind of good…

Soon there was a clear tube attached to my arm, running some sort of liquid into my vein.

"There. That should make you feel better." Doctor Roberts said, stepping back and putting his hands on his hips.

I just stared at him, and he sighed, pulling up a chair and sitting down on it gently.

"I've decided I'm going to put you on anti-depression medicine." He said suddenly.

I frowned at him in confusion.

"Y-you think that'll help?" I asked.

He shrugged. "It better. I can't watch you like this anymore, Tal. I can't watch you slowly deteriorate."

I looked to the ground sadly.

"I suppose you're right." I finally replied.

"There are a few complications to the medication. No alcohol, you have to take one every single day, and you have to be eating. No excuses." Doctor Roberts explained firmly.

Well, there goes that beer I was saving up in my fridge back at Megaton. He put a hand on my knee comfortingly.

"It'll only be for about a month. I know you can bounce back from this. You just need a little help, is all."

(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~)

After about a week on the medicine Doctor Roberts finally let me leave. The medicine had some strange side affects; such has a case of dry mouth. No matter what, I always needed water. It was tragically ironic. Other than that there wasn't much, yet. Doctor Roberts said there would be some strange happenings until I'm completely leveled off. But some dry mouth and anxiety is a lot better than being where I was before. I promised I would come back whenever I could. He never spoke of the G.E.C.K., or at least never to me. But I knew he expected me to get it sometime. Eventually the Enclave would give up, and abandon the project, and then that'd be the perfect time to retrieve the G.E.C.K. But the Enclave is yet to back down. It was nice walking on my own again. As hard as it was being alone, it was good to get some exercise. It was dark by the time I made it to Megaton, and I suppose I was glad for that. Nobody asking any questions about why I was gone for song long, or where my dad had gone. My old house seemed like it was from another time when I walked in.

"Ah, welcome home, Miss. What took you?" Wadsworth's metallic voice chimed at me.

I stared at him for a few seconds, letting my eyes follow his floating patterns, and then sighed.

"Work, I guess…" I said, opening the fridge to get some water.

"I have some news for you, ma'm, if you so wish to receive it." Wadsworth announced, and I nodded my head as I drank my water.

"There has been a radio signal sent in recently." He said.

I swallowed my water deeply, happy for the refreshment after a long day of travelling.

"Oh yeah? Could you play it?" I asked, opening the fridge to look for something else to eat. It was probably Doctor Roberts, asking me if I had made it home all right.

"Right away, ma'm."

I crouched and rummaged through the fridge as an annoying voice played over the radio.

"This. Is. An. Automatic. Distress. Signal. From. Vault-Tec. Vault 101:…" It began.

My hands gripped the handle of the fridge tightly as the next voice began to play.

"Crystal… I-it feels so long ago that you left home. But I just know you're still out there. I hope you can hear this." Amato's deep voice rang through Wadsworth's radio.

"Amato…" I whispered, and strained my ears to listen further, nearly paralyzed by Amato's voice.

"Things got… a lot worse after you let. My father's gone mad with power… if you can hear this, and you have time, please come and help us. I changed the door password to my name. Come as soon as you can… I miss you."

The message ended, and I blinked a few times, trying to snap out of my state of mind.

"Shall I play it again, ma'm?" Wadsworth asked.

I shook my head, standing up slowly, and closed the fridge.

"When did this come in?" I asked.

"Two days ago, ma'm." He replied.

I nodded my head this time, thinking deeply. I guess I wasn't exactly checking my pip-boy like I should have been…

Was I ready for this? What if Amato thinks of me differently now that I'm 80% human? What if he no longer wanted me? What with my depression, PTSD and the… the cuts…

I guess there was only one way to find out.

(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~)

I stood in front of the entrance to Vault 101, staring down at the signs that I seemed to have missed on my way out before.

'Let us in, you motherfuckers!' or 'We're dying! Help us!'. Next to the signs where dead, decaying skeletons. I took a large swig from my water bottle, and swallowed deeply.

Before I punched in the password I thought about what I was doing… maybe they don't want me back. Maybe they all hate me. Maybe after one glance of me Amato won't love me, and try to have me killed… I tried to imagine what I looked like now, compared to how I did when I left. My hair was completely black, I must have lost twenty pounds, and I wasn't exactly the cleanest I've ever been. Not to mention me being a cyborg, now. A red light flickered in my vision, and I forced myself to breathe. There was no use standing here wondering what they'd do. They needed me, enough so to send a distress message. Without further hesitation I punched in the password, and the Vault door screeched open, it's familiar loud sound filling my ears. As it rolled out of the way with great force I fought back tears at the sight of the Vault.

Everything was damaged, the exit of the Vault seemed to be on lock-down, and to make matters creepier there was a rad-roach standing right in front of me.

"Hello little one." I said, making its antenna's wiggle.

Without hesitation I shot it clean in the head, and walked to the door out of this room. The closer to Amato I get, the better. But the second I opened the door I felt somebody press a gun to my temple. I stopped immediately, my eyes widening in surprise.

"Stop right there." Came a stern voice. I lifted my hands up slowly, trying my best to see whom this man was in my peripherals. "I don't know who the hell you are, how you got in, but you'd better start backing up real quick."

I recognized that voice…

"Officer Gomez. There's no need for this." I said as steadily as I could.

Gomez shifted nervously, and lowered his gun slowly. I turned to him as I let my hands go down, and his eye's widened.

"Oh god… it's you. Good lord, what happened to you?" He asked.

"What, don't like it?" I asked, winking at him.

"Well it's just uh… I've never seen anything like it before and uh… what the hell happened to your hair?" He seemed disappointed, and I chuckled.

"It's irradiated. It changes based on my emotion." I explained, pulling a piece of my hair into view. It was still black, making me sigh. I shook my head, and tucked the piece of hair behind my ear.

"What the hell happened to you?" Gomez asked.

I narrowed my eyes, calculating just how messed up this Vault had gotten since I left, letting my bionic brain take control once again.

"What the hell happened to you?" I asked.

"It's the Overseer…" Before he could finish I cut him off with a firm, dark chuckle.

"I told you to get rid of him. What's he done this time?" I asked. A dark realization washed over me, and my eye's narrowed darkly. "Did he hurt Amato? I swear God…"

"No, Amato's fine. Well, at least I hope. He's on the upper level, him and his group of rebels. Why did you come back here, anyway?" Gomez asked.

I folded my arms across my chest, bored of this conversation.

"I got Amato's distress message. He said he needed help, so I decided to help him." I explained simply.

"Amato's message? I'd keep that under your hat if I were you. For his sake, I mean. You two could get in a lot of trouble for that." Gomez replied.

I twitched my metal fingers impatiently, wanting to get a move on. I hated being down here right now.

"So, where is Amato and his group of 'rebels'?" I asked.

"In the lower floor. I don't know what he's going to ask you to do, but it's gonna be something about the Overseer. So be prepared."

"Oh, I've been prepared for a long, long time. It was good to see you again, Gomez." I said, pausing to look at the ground.

"Is everyone going to be as hospitable as you were?"

"Lets hope. Good luck, kid."

I nodded my head, and made my way to the main room of the Vault. I stopped as I heard Officer Taylor yell at somebody.

"You know I can't do that, Freddie! Now get back down, before I do something we'll both regret!"

"Or what? You're gonna lock me up like they did to Brotch? You can't cage a tunnel snake, man! Because we rule!" Freddie screamed, a knife clutched in his hand.

I face-planted in aggravation. He hasn't changed a damn bit. Then Freddie locked eyes on me, making my heart stop. I shook my head quickly, darting my eyes back to Officer Taylor who had a gun pointed straight at Freddie.

"It's you…" He breathed, and started to walk towards me.

"Stay back!" Officer Taylor begged.

Before either of us could make a move Officer Taylor shot, making Freddie sprint away, muttering to himself angrily. That idiot! What the hell was he thinking? I stormed up to Officer Taylor, snatching the gun from his hand roughly.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing, old man? You almost killed Freddie!" I yelled, clicking the pistol to safety mode.

"I-I didn't mean to… my god… it's you. What… what happened to you?" Officer Taylor asked, shocked at the sight of me.

"The fucking wastelands happened to me. And you're not getting this back, by the way." I said, slipping his pistol into my belt.

"No no no no, I need that, don't take that away from me. Things have changed down here, if you don't have a weapon, you're practically dead." Officer Taylor begged.

"If I give you a weapon, you're gonna get somebody killed. Why do you think I'm here?" I asked, making Officer Taylors shoulders slump.

"I'm guessing you were asked back. But… I don't know what you can do for the Vault anymore, let alone me. My wife… she died the day you and your dad left. Now I have nobody."

"Yeah? Welcome to the fucking club, then. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to see Amato." I explained, and turned away from him.

"Be careful! Th-they may not recognize you!" Officer Taylor called.

I ignored him, and raced after Freddie, but the door had been blocked.

"Damn you, Freddie." I mumbled and went the other way to the lower levels.

I was greeted with the ruminants of my childhood. Everything had been abandoned, and un attended to. The diner was a complete mess, and nobody was in the halls. There were caution signs piled up on each other, and lights seemed to have malfunctioned. Some of the light bulbs flickered, just adding to the fucked up ambiance. I flicked on the light to my pip-boy, debating whether or not I should grab the pistol from my belt. After deciding against it I turned a corner, only to be thrown to the wall by a great force. A knife was pressed to my throat, and a dark, angry face snarled down at me. My eye's widened in surprise.

"Butch?" I asked.

Butch's face fell, and his mouth opened in shock.

"Crystal?" He asked.

After few seconds of him staring at me, he pulled his knife away, releasing me from the wall.

"What happened to you?" He asked.

"I'm starting to get so fucking sick of that question… The outside world did this to me. And I'm guessing you want to join it?" I asked.

"Hell yeah I want to be apart of that place! If you haven't notice, we're pretty fucked down here. If you're willing to help us, we really need it." Butch explained.

"Why do you think I'm here, Butch? Think I just wanted to saunter back in here and see the old place? Fuck that. As dangerous as the waste's are, I like it out there a lot better than down here. The place has gone to hell…"

"Tell me about it." Butch scoffed, and put his switchblade into his pocket. "I'm guessing you want to see Amato, right?"

I nodded my head simply. "After all, it was him who sent the distress message."

"Distress message? Damn, what a smart ass. I'll lead you to him." Butch said, and started walking. I took a deep breath, keeping myself from hyper-ventilating, and followed behind him.

After a few seconds I couldn't take it. I snatched Butch's hand, pulling him towards me.

"Before we go, how is he? D-did he change much? Anything I should be aware of?" I asked.

Butch smiled smugly down at me.

"Yeah, he's changed. But in a good way. You'll see." Butch said, and we kept walking. "Plus, it won't be as much of a shock as it will be to see you. You've changed… a lot."

I silently agreed, trying to find something to do with my hands as we kept walking. We reached dad's old lab, but before coming in I tried to sneak a peek through the window to see what was going on. Butch only laughed, grabbing my arm and pulling me towards the door.

"It's fine, come on." He said soothingly. Butch? Gentle? I never thought I would see the day. But before I could marvel on how Butch had changed I was confronted with what had been making me nervous since I set off to the Vault. Amato was crouched next to Susie, who I guess collapsed to the ground, holding her head within her hands. He was whispering something to her, and hadn't noticed us. My eyes narrowed. Him and Susie? Maybe. She was pretty, and she had most of her face. And her arm. Plus her hair wasn't basically dead.

"Amato, somebodies here to see you." Butch said, making Amato turn his gaze towards us.

He nodded, looked back at Susie, whispered something in her ear, patted her shoulder, and stood up. I guess he didn't know who I was… Had I changed that much? Oh come on, Tal, your hairs is pitch black, your in an old duster, and your arm and half of your face if fucking metal! How the hell could he see it was you?

"Who is this?" He asked, walking towards us.

Now, I've heard the expression 'a deer caught in headlights' but I had never really understood it. Until now. His green eyes seemed to shine, his blond hair combed back neatly, and it looked like he had attempted growing a beard. His jaw line was very prominent, as well as his cheek bones, and his chin was growing just the slightest of stubble. He looked like a whole new man. Well, as close as you could without facial reconstruction. Butch chuckled.

"You mean you don't recognize your own girlfriend?" He asked.

Amato stared at me for a few seconds, and then finally his eyes lifted in acknowledgment.

"Crystal!" He breathed, and pulled me into his arms.

Oh god, this is it. The moment I had been dreading like nothing else. Was he going to reject me? No, no, then he wouldn't be hugging me. Maybe he didn't see right… I forced myself to breathe as he embraced me, lights flickering in my vision. He pulled away, still holding my shoulders tightly.

"What… what happened to you?" He asked, stroking my metal cheek with a visibly shaking hand. I pursed my lips together, getting ready to answer, when Butch beat me to it.

"The wasteland happened. Apparently we didn't think about how dangerous it was." Butch said.

Amato nodded his head, pulling his hands away from me.

"I got your distress message." I said simply.

Was that all I could say? I had all that time to make a speech, and that's it! 'I got your distress message', what the fuck was that, Tal? You can do better!

"Of course you did. I just didn't think you'd actually come." Amato said.

"I was uh… busy…" I stuttered, rubbing my neck awkwardly.

Before I could say something else Amato grabbed my hand, pulling me to the exit of the Vault.

"Butch, go back to the front. I want to talk to Crystal in private." He said, and Butch nodded.

"Yes, sir." He said, and ran back to where we came from.

"Sir?" I asked, looking up at Amato as we walked, still holding hands.

He chuckled. "Things have changed down here, Crystal. These guys consider me their leader now." He explained.

Dear lord, even his voice changed. Instead of it's sheepish and shy tone that it usually had, it was changed into a deep, firm, almost demanding one. We entered suite with a couch, table and broken TV. I walked in, looking around and taking everything in as Amato closed the door behind us. I turned to him, and he smiled, coming towards me again.

He gripped his hands over my arms, not able to contain his excitement anymore.

"It's so good to see you." He breathed, smiling widely.

I smiled up at him, now powerless to hide my own desperation for his touch.

"Really? Even with… everything?" I asked.

Amato nodded his head.

"Oh yes. Even with everything. Come, sit." He said, squeezing my shoulders, and leading me to the couch. We both sat down, and immediately turned to one another.

"How are things?" He asked.

"Tough. Um, I'm getting better, though. The guy who uh, did this…" I said, pointing at my face with my metal arm. "He put me on anti-depression medicine. So far it's been working."

Amato's eyes fell.

"Why did he give you that?"

I took a deep breath, steadying myself before going on.

"Dad died a little while ago. He… he died to save his life's work, which was whole reason he left in the first place. I had to watch him…" When I couldn't go on, Amato gripped my hand in his.

"I'm so, so sorry, Crys. If I had known… god, I just wish I could've been there for you." Amato said, his voice thick with sympathy.

I couldn't do anything but nod, and look down at my hand, now entwined with Amato's.

"And you?" I asked, trying to change the subject.

"Oh man… Everything's just gotten out of control here. I try to do my best, but, well…" He shook his head, looking at the floor in thought. I frowned, and looked up at him.

"What?" I asked.

He took a deep breath, and looked up at me.

"The Overseer has gone completely insane. He… he needs to be stopped. No question about that."

"Then lets stop him."

"It's not that easy, Crys. Trust me, if it were I would have never dragged you back into this. The Overseer has made it clear that he's not up to discussion about the matter. He doesn't want anyone leaving the Vault, at all."

"Then just escape, I got in here pretty easily. It's only Officer Taylor, and quite frankly, he's a bit of a dolt."

"No. Some of us want to come in and out. You know, go out to trade, get supplies. The Vault has always been our home, and we want to keep it that way."

I nodded my head, and took a deep breath.

"So what do you want me to do?" I asked.

"It seems horrible now… but, I need you to get rid of him."

There was a silence, and it took me a few seconds to register what he had just said.

"You mean…" My voice was barely audible now. "Kill him?"

Amato nodded his head.

"But… he's your dad."

"Yes, he is, but we're running out of time. I can barely keep my people under control now. Susie just had her third panic attack this week, and Freddie was shot at today. We can't keep doing this. I would have done it myself, but… I just can't." Amato explained.

"Amato… I don't know. What if it just causes more problems?" I asked.

"Trust me, all of the brainwashed idiots are gone, there's nobody backing the Overseer up anymore. His guards only listen to him because they're terrified of what he'll do if they don't. If I didn't think this would help I wouldn't be asking you to do this. I've thought about this for a long, long time, Crys. It's the only way. You don't have to kill him, but you need to get him to stop somehow. Forever. And so far killing him is the only way I can see that happening."

I looked down at my metal hand, trying to decide what to do. Amato cupped my chin in his hand, lifting me head up to see his face.

"I know you can do this." He said.

In a matter of seconds all of the need I had for him exploded, and I pressed my lips to his with such urgency it almost hurt. This was my second kiss with him, but it was completely different. It seemed to have changed just as much as we had. Instead of it being short and, somewhat awkward, this one lingered for a long time; the desperation for one another now extreme.

Amato's strong arms wrapped around my waist, and pulled me in close to him. Things progressed fast, and I found myself leaning into the kiss completely, my hands gripping his shoulders tightly, holding him close to me. I urged my metal hand to be as gentle as it possibly could. I hadn't realized just how much I really did want him until he forced himself to pull away.

I inched closer, needing more, but he just leaned his forehead against mine, stopping me completely.

"You know how much I want this… but now isn't the time." He said, softly yet sternly.

I sighed. "Right. I've got an Overseer to stop."

Amato put his hand on my cheek.

"I know you can do this, Crys. I just know you can."