Chapter 10
Sudden Sight
pov: Edward

Lips meet.

Passion unleashes in Jacob, tearing through me, too. Most thought flee his mind. What's left pours unfiltered straight into me.

I am an unwilling witness, watching with eyes clenched shut at the onslaught of Jacob's euphoria. This talent, a curse allowing me to know precisely what he's thinking when her fingers tighten in his hair, pulling him close.

Heat.

The word roars to life in their minds.

Not the cool burn I feel from my blood thirst.

No.

This fire spirals and blazes with wild abandon between them. Together their minds resurrect within me a long faded memory. Their thoughts join with such force that they sweep me up in the undertow. Its power has me crying out for the ability to weep at the remembrance of the intensely satisfying, internal human flame that can warm even my cold, non-existent soul.

Wait...

My eyes open in shock. I push at my mind's power, hoping to enfold an unexpected miracle. I detest myself for this sudden voyeuristic need clamoring to consume me. But even my growing self-revulsion can't restrain me from throwing forth my unique abilities beyond their usual boundaries to capture the cause of my astonishment.

Two minds...

in mine.

Bella.

My breath catches.

I exhale...

Bella.

Somehow, I've found my way to her... through a kiss I should not have been sharing.

Bewildered, I soundlessly leave the tent. Out of sight, yet still somehow miraculously within...

her.

And she is in me, filling my whole being.

I explore this exotic place of Bella's mind and find...

Peace.

Amazing.

Jacob gives her peace.

This gives me pause.

I expel another breath, marveling at how his simple touch crumbles that infernal guard wall that perpetually keeps her thoughts invisible to me...

Until now.

Enviously, I accept what I somehow have always known. From her first awkward attempts at flirtation with him, so long ago, Bella's whole self has been laid out bare for the wolf... always for... her Jake. Now, in his intimate embrace, how easily she relinquishes her tight grip on the shield her mind uses to cover her heart's true longing.

Her thoughts transmit so clearly to me now. It is as though I have opened a book entitled, Isabella Swan.

I impatiently push Jacob's lustful thoughts away and concentrate on this precious gift he unwittingly offers me.

Through just one kiss, he gives me a chance to sift through this treasure trove, a place within Bella that I never thought I'd have access.

I find inside her the love she holds for me, tucked safely away in a deep recess. Comforted, I see it fills a large space, about equal in size to the love I hold for her. This surprises me. Combined, our love is immense. This trojan horse hides from both of us its ultimate fragility. Its enormity, I've come to accept, is its eventual downfall.

Like mine, this love of hers is shattered, but not beyond repair. The fragments are already loosely knitting together with the thread of something less ardent holding and capturing the memories of our mutual desires within its bonds. It is a passionate first love, I see now. An extraordinary part of her, meant for her to unearth and treasure when it doesn't hurt so much to touch.

Quite suddenly, I feel compelled to turn from these shadows, inexorably drawn to a boundless place within her, her human heart, a kaleidoscope of light and happiness in every color just now bursting free.

Jake and Bella.

We fit perfectly, she sighs contentedly, unknowingly sending out her every thought right into my brain.

I know the moment she wakes up.

Sleeping beauty, awakened by her true love's kiss, I muse.

I wonder at her glowing joy. It pulses unbelievably brighter as she opens her eyes to find herself home in Jacob's arms, his lips upon hers. The sight is almost more than I can physically bear. I carry on, however, surviving this perfect agony clasping her long sheltered thoughts close to mine. My tenacity is rewarded with a vision that I know will bring me the ultimate comfort I will need when the time comes to leave...

empty...

without her.

She envisions it all. And because she sees, I do, too.

Her family, Charlie, Renee and her ballplayer, combine with what will be her new one, Jake, Sue, Billy and the pack. She sees the passing years, changing her, changing him. That enormous, copper-skinned man, no longer wolf, but the human whom she loves dearly. He stands protector when she needs him. Herself wielding an equal strength when he needs her, too.

Then, for a moment of the precious time I have in her head, I share her vision of two perfect, raven-haired children running through the forest.

Laughing eyes.

Bella's eyes.

Human.

Their father giving boisterous chase. Bella stands behind, head thrown back with laughter - exquisite, happy, and whole. She is waving and calling after them to be good. I see the humanity of Renee, and the shadow of humanity that is Esme, intertwine... fuse together in this older, wiser Bella. This woman, so full of life, calls out to me and I yearn to make her mine.

But this Bella is not mine.

Her soul sends out an unmistakable siren song summoning Jacob to her side. This part of her hungers for him and the brilliant life only he can provide her. It is this future Bella that I would certainly steal away if I remain on my selfish path, ignoring the selfless promise I'd first made to myself when I realized the fatal love I hold for this girl.

I love Bella enough to give her this. This vital, yet, exceptionally vulnerable vision of her future.

It was, after all, what I've always wished for her to have.

Option Number One.

So here it is.

Acceptance...

and I'm not lying broken, wishing for swift death.

My mind floats away from this startling reality when Bella's brain registers that Jacob's lips have stilled beneath hers.

I laugh silently at her silly, self-conscious question of whether it will always be this way for her. Perturbed, she wonders if it will always be her with the deluge of passion for her mate.

She steals my breath away again as I see through her eyes the love she has for him...

her Jake.

Unfathomable wonder and elation emanate from them both. It is a sight so awesome it hurts the empty place inside my chest where my heart should be bleeding, torn asunder. I indeed ache all over to watch the beauty of them together. How could I have not seen such perfection before? Was I so blinded by my own selfish desires to keep her to myself?

"I have to leave," he whispers

No, I quietly mouth along with her, wanting only this sublime joy for her.

Jacob's mind smiles, delighted with her response, relieved I wasn't there to witness.

If he only knew.

"I won't be long," he promises. "But one thing first..."

He bends to kiss her again.

I long for the enraged jealousy to rip through me but, to my amazement, I find I cannot conjure it up. I watch Jacob's approach through Bella's loving eyes. Her heart sings for him. She thinks only of his gentleness as he frames her face, his warmth, his unwelcome hesitancy.

I won't break, Jake, she defiantly forms this loud, foot-stomping, thought.

Ah, there she is, I think, with a rueful smile...

My girl, MY Bella.

They share a brief and heartbreakingly sweet kiss that has her longing for more. Her mind cries out for his immediate return to her arms. With no one else being the wiser, my mind understands her desirous thirst for his touch.

"That should have been our first kiss," Jacob smiles, "better late than never."

"But better never late," she retorts tartly. Though her words are pouty and light, through Jacob's eyes I see Bella's silent pleas for him to stay. She knows him well enough, though, not to give them voice. She knows she cannot ask him to deny this part of himself, or force him to choose between the two parts that make him whole.

She trusts him.

She trusts him enough to return.

She knows instinctively that he will.

She knows this truth like she knows her own heart beats...

for him.

For Jake.