Disclaimers/content: As before – see Chapter One for full details.
Author's note: Oh my gosh, guys, I can't believe this story is over 100 reviews strong already. Thanks so much for all your input!!! I have to say, without a doubt, this chapter trumps all of the other ones combined. And if you don't believe me, just read on – I hope you'll agree! ;)
He didn't know if it was a bad idea, but it had been the only place Ray could think of once he'd managed to get Neela to stumble into the back of the cab with him.
Now they were standing outside of his small apartment building, and he realized that he was about to bring her onto his turf. Honestly, he was a bit frightened by the prospect. It had been a very long time since he'd had Neela on his turf.
"Where are we?" Neela questioned, still slurring her words a bit.
The afternoon was turning to evening, and the sun was just starting to turn to a lazy gold color that reminded Ray of the sunset they had shared together by the river. This time, however, he could see dark clouds coming in from the western horizon, promising a summer storm. Neela looked over toward the dark side of the sky, her eyes glassy and still a little confused, as she followed him up the ramp and into the building.
"Welcome to Casa Barnett," he chuckled, unlocking his door.
Neela followed him in slowly, looking uncertain. Her eyes were taking a while to adjust to the dim light inside – he hadn't left any lamps on when he had gone to work this morning.
He switched on one little lamp that was close to the door, casting the room in a dim, golden glow. The stormy looking part of the sky was visible through the windows of his living room. Neela noticed with some surprise that his apartment was actually quite clean.
"You must have been expecting some company," she murmured, looking at him with laughter in her eyes. "That, or you've hired a maid."
"No, no, I just happen to be very clean," he said, pretending to be insulted. In all honesty, he had cleaned the apartment two days ago, just on the off chance that Neela would have wanted to come over and see it. His foresight had definitely paid off.
He looked down at Neela, still a bit stunned by what she had said to him not twenty minutes ago. She still had feelings for him. She had admitted it with tears in her eyes, and Ray was determined not to let that moment go, to not let them slip back into awkward silence now that they had finally started talking.
"You took me out of the bar before I was ready, now you owe me some drinks," Neela told him, pointing her finger at him in mock indignation. He could tell that she was only inches away from smiling.
"Well, then, I guess I'd better get right on that," Ray replied, grinning obligingly, as he headed for the fridge. Lord knew he had plenty of alcohol on hand.
"How about some more screwdrivers?" Neela laughed. Screwdriver. What a funny word, she thought.
"Why do they call them 'screwdrivers'?" She asked, following him into the kitchen.
Several dirty jokes sprang to Ray's mind, but he thought it would be wise to keep them to himself. "Uhh, don't know," he laughed, pouring Neela a drink. He poured himself one as well, figuring he might still need a little help relaxing.
Neela scooped her glass into her hands, sipping on it immediately. "Mmm. Thanks."
She looked up into his eyes, the rim of the glass touching her lips – which, to his chagrin, he found to be an entirely sensual sight – and Ray got caught in her stare for several endless moments. Embarrassed, he tore his gaze away and picked up his own glass, searching for words. He didn't want to start getting awkward now. They had been able to say so much to each other already – he wanted the conversation to continue.
"Ray," Neela said, taking another long sip from her glass. "I'm really so glad to be spending this time with you. I hope you know that."
"I know. I've been enjoying this, too. So much." He sipped his own drink, hoping to calm his jumping stomach.
"I really don't want to go tomorrow," she said again, looking very serious. Her forehead was scrunched up – as it always was, when she was deep in thought. Ray felt some more flutters, thinking how much he loved that expression, just like he loved everything else about her.
"I know," he said, leaning back against the kitchen counter. "I really wish you didn't have to go, either."
Neela looked confused. She stared off to the side of Ray's shoulder, trying to gather her thoughts. She wanted to say so much – but she wanted to say it right. And it was hard, when all of her thoughts were a drunken jumble of emotions.
Not only that, but she could smell him – the faded scent of aftershave, and cologne, and him – the same scent she remembered picking up on every time she had ever walked into their apartment, back when they had lived together.
"Ray, it's really something – that I could be here for just three days, and already be to the point of not wanting to leave. What do you think that says about us, about all the things we left unfinished?"
He could hear the blood rushing through his head. "I think it says a lot, Neela."
"Yeah. Yeah, it really does." She finally looked up at him. She was standing just inches away, and she could feel the warmth of his body. His face was flushed – and she knew it wasn't because of the summer heat. It was nothing more than the words coming out of her mouth. She allowed the truth of that to send a lovely thrill through her body – the thrill of being able to cause that kind of reaction in him, just by speaking her heart.
"So, what the hell are we supposed to do, then?" He asked softly, staring down into her face. She still looked so serious, he thought. Even as she swayed lightly back and forth, miles from sober, she looked so intent on her thoughts.
"I don't know," she admitted, shrugging her shoulders. "Your guess is as good as mine."
Ray looked at her silently, not sure what he could say. He really had no idea how they were supposed to deal with these feelings, seeing as they lived so far apart in reality. Her visit was wonderful – but it wasn't going to last. It was already almost over, and that was just the hard truth of it.
He heard the first rumble of thunder. The sky had gotten much darker outside over the last few minutes.
"I don't know what we're supposed to do, Neela," he admitted, looking in the direction of the windows, staring into the dark sky as if the answers might be written out there in the clouds. "But, I think we should just enjoy the time we have left, and go from there." He looked back at her, sticking his hands in his pockets.
Neela took another long, contemplative sip of her drink. "I could get on board with that idea."
Ray grinned. "Great. In that case, what I think we should do is just plop down in front of the TV, order something to eat, pop in a movie and…"
His words were cut off abruptly as Neela raised herself on tip-toe and fastened her lips against his own.
A rush of heat whipped straight down from Ray's head and settled low in his stomach as Neela leaned her body into his, sliding both arms up and around his neck, stroking her fingers slowly up through his hair before clutching them there. Her lips were soft and open and she was moving them slowly against his own, to which he immediately responded in kind.
All rational thought exited Ray's mind as he pulled his hands from his pockets, gripping Neela's tiny waist between his fingers, pulling her even more tightly against his body as he tilted his head down more closely to hers, kissing her with hot, gentle, slow kisses that sent little shocks all the way down to her toes.
The thunder outside was getting louder.
Oblivious to storm that was brewing, Neela opened her mouth and allowed him to go deeper.
Ray felt almost all of his self-control slipping away in those few brief moments as he dug his fingers into her hips and slid his tongue in against hers, tasting vodka and orange juice and her – possibly the most impressive combination of flavors he'd ever had the pleasure of experiencing. Suddenly overwhelmed, he tore his lips from her own and trailed soft kisses down the curve of her jaw, into the soft space below her ear, then down her neck –
Neela let out a low groan, moving her hands down to wrap around Ray's waist as he worked his way back up her neck; slowly, torturously, until he started to gently nibble at a vulnerable spot right between her jaw and her throat. She could feel her entire body burning right up – and the sensation was more than welcome. She slid her fingers down to the hem of his shirt and found the smooth skin of his back underneath, trailing circles against him with her nails.
Ray muttered something incomprehensible as he wrapped one arm around her waist and slid his other hand into her hair, finding her lips again with his own, completely open this time as they kissed with a little less grace and a little more urgency – faster, hotter, wetter –
"Oh, my god," Neela gasped, pulling back from him, her entire body on fire. She hadn't felt desire this strongly in… well, she couldn't even remember when. Her blouse was sticking to her skin, so damp she was with perspiration. She looked up into his eyes, which were full of awareness and raw, burning heat. She knew they were a match for her own.
He didn't have words. He didn't need words. The room had been cast into long shadows as the storm whipped up outside – wind was gusting against the windows, and now rain was battering against the glass as lightning flashed, again and again, in a primal mating with the sky. He looked down into her eyes – melting pools of need – and every piece of his being was screaming at him to take the next step – the only step left – and start ripping at the thin fabric of her clothes like his very life depended on it.
"God, Neela – " He breathed heavily, grasping absently at his own hair as he stared down into her enormous, gorgeous eyes, trying desperately to bring back at least a sliver of his sanity.
"Ray – please – " She clenched her fingers deep into the nape of his neck, not taking her eyes from his own as she pressed her body more firmly against his, straining on her toes to fit with him properly.
There was absolutely no way, with the thin fabric of her little black skirt, that she couldn't tell exactly what she had managed to do to him. And since she had started it, he thought – nearly laughing – he wasn't about to apologize for it. He managed to smile lightly at her, even though he felt like he was going to explode.
"Neela…"
She didn't return his smile. Her expression was so serious, in fact, it was making his stomach flutter again.
"Ray, please," she whispered urgently, pressing her hips into his, as if he hadn't already gotten her intent. She pressed a warm kiss to his throat, clutching tightly at his shoulders now.
He wasn't sure exactly how he was managing any rational thought, but one very small corner of his brain appeared to still be functioning properly. And it was warning him that this would not be a very good idea.
It would have been so easy to ignore that tiny part of himself and continue on, he thought. It would have been so easy. Almost everything else inside of him was urging him forward, like a blind animal, to finish what she had started.
"We can't," he heard himself mutter, as he leaned forward and pressed his lips to her ear. He slid both hands up into her hair, kissing the side of her face very softly, trying desperately to talk himself down from the height of desire he'd managed to reach in just a few short minutes.
"Why not?" Neela looked terribly confused, even a little hurt, and Ray suddenly felt guilty for denying her – for denying them – this thoughtless pleasure.
"It's not right," he said softly, stroking a hand down her back, trying to calm her – and himself. "Not right now. You've had so much to drink, Neela. I don't think you're really thinking about this."
"I don't want to think," she protested, trailing her nails slowly up and down his neck – and nearly driving him insane. "This feels right. I know it does. I don't want to stop and analyze it and pick it to pieces and spend my time weighing the pros from the cons. I just want to touch you, and feel you, and be with you…"
He was afraid she was going to push him over the edge with barely a whisper more of movement. Somewhat humiliated at himself, Ray stepped to the side, away from her touch, trying to get enough oxygen to his brain to think straight.
"Neela, no… we can't," he said again, not able to form anything more coherent. He swallowed hard – still tasting her on his lips, his body begging him for more.
"Ray…?" She looked nearly crushed, and he knew it was the alcohol, causing all of her emotions to be at the very edges of their extremes – but he still felt incredibly guilty.
However, he was almost completely confident that she would be grateful for his decision when morning rolled around.
"Neela, it's ok," he whispered, stepping back from the counter. She stepped backward as well, and they took several steps in that manner – Ray moving forward, and Neela blindly moving backward, toward the sofa, where he was trying to maneuver her.
Realizing that he was not going to change his mind, Neela hung her head, looking ashamed. "Oh my god, you must think I'm so pathetic," she murmured, rubbing a hand over her face.
"Oh, believe me… just believe me… I have never wanted anything so badly in all my life," Ray replied softly, trying to put her at ease. Not that he really had to try – he was speaking the honest truth.
"Then why can't you just touch me?" Neela whispered, grasping loosely at his hands, her eyes falling shut as she tried to pull his arms around her again. She buried her face in his chest, and he couldn't help but sigh, wishing he could take advantage of her willingness and just drag her right off to his bedroom.
But he couldn't. And he knew it.
"Neela," Ray said again, gently pulling her back, looking down into her eyes. He had never seen such hurt in them before. "You know I want to. But not like this," he told her, trying to convey all of his emotions with his eyes. She was staring up into his, without pause, and he hoped he was getting through to her.
"I love you," she whispered, as he finally got her in front of the sofa and sat her down. Her eyes looked very heavy now, and he pulled her into a laying position, resting her head on the big sofa pillows, where she almost immediately started falling asleep.
Taking deep breaths to ease the tightness in his lower body – and his stomach – Ray pulled a blanket down from the back of the sofa and covered Neela with it carefully, watching as she drifted off to sleep, a sad look still etched on her face even as she nodded off.
He stretched out in the recliner next to the sofa, watching her for a long time, until finally – much later – he drifted off to sleep himself.