Author's Note: I'm glad everyone liked the last chapter! This one involves a lot of perspective changes, and some serious drama, but hopefully it's clear enough. Please tell me what you think. I'm sorry it took a bit longer than usual to have this one posted up... I re-wrote this chapter about ten times. No exaggeration. Anyways, I hope you all enjoy...

~ SIRIUS ~

"Cut it out, Sirius!" James exclaimed, grabbing the knife away from Sirius and swatting him on the arm. "It says roughly chopped, not finely diced!"

"Really, Prongs?" Sirius grumbled, running a hand roughly over his face. This was the third time today he had completely botched something and it was only his first day back. "What's the difference?"

"Well you're going to get us blown up if you're not careful, for one." James said. "For another, chopped is in little bits, and you've given me tiny bits."

"Since when have you cared so much about potions?" Sirius shot back, rolling his eyes.

Sirius knew the answer, of course. It was no secret that Evans was Slughorn's star pupil and it was now James' mission to prove his worth as a potions master to impress her.

"It's seventh year. I have to pull myself together if I have a hope of going on to do something decent after." James shrugged.

Sirius stared at James for a moment, slack-jawed. "Who are you?"

James simply snorted and tipped the diced ginger root into the bin near his cauldron.

Sirius clenched his jaw and sat back in his chair while James began cutting up a fresh set of roots. Ever since James had got that slight inkling that he may have even the most infinitesimal chance with Lily Evans he had been absolutely insufferable. Earlier today James had erased the entirety of his star chart and furiously copied Remus' so that when they had to pass them over for peer correction, Lily thought his had been perfect. Sirius was absolutely sure that Evans had seen, and he had told James so, but it didn't seem to matter. Sirius was also absolutely sure that after Evans had corrected it, he had folded his chart up very carefully and kept it.

At lunch, when Lily had walked into the Great Hall and taken her seat at the far end of Gryffindor table, James had picked up his plate mid conversation with Sirius and Peter and made himself comfortable with the girls.

So far, today had not been a good day.

Sirius leaned backwards in his chair, catching sight of Remus and Peter who were in precisely the same position that he and James were in – Remus was muttering to himself while chopping up a rather hefty portion of ginger root while Peter pretended to be reading his textbook. When Remus looked up from what he was doing and caught his eye, Sirius immediately looked away, his heart racing.

Sirius had woken up curled around a very warm, very sleepy, werewolf this morning and he was quite frankly having trouble processing it. The sun had barely risen when he had pried himself out of Remus' arms and tip-toed to his trunk, moving as quickly as he could in case James or Peter woke up to find them together. For the first time ever, Sirius had quietly picked up his things and gone to get changed in the washroom.

Not an hour later during his first class, Sirius had spilled an entire bottle of ink all over Emily Guild's parchment. An hour after that, he had totally miscounted the number of stars in the Andromeda system and had had to completely start over from scratch with only twenty-five minutes left on the clock.

Every time Remus' shoulder had bumped him in the hall, or his foot had accidentally grazed his under the desk, Sirius stomach lurched. And so in Potions that afternoon, he picked up his books, walked to the bathroom, and when he came back, sat on James' side instead of Remus'.

"Don't just sit there, Pads!" James whacked Sirius in the arm with his wooden ladle. "We've only got five more minutes left and look, it's barely pink!"

Sirius let out a deep sigh and leaned forwards to peer into the cauldron. He took another look at the page of instructions and then back into the bubbling liquid.

"It looks perfect to me." Sirius shrugged. "I'd say we're done for the day."

"It's supposed to be fuschia, Pads!" James said, his voice slightly too high-pitched. "This is definitely more of a dusty rose!"

"Oh, give it up, you great lunatic." Sirius growled. "I have half a mind to kick it over."

"Mr. Black is perfectly correct, this is nearly perfect. Simmer it much longer and you'll spoil it."

Sirius jumped as Professor Slughorn came up behind them and leaned forwards between he and James to inspect the cauldron's contents.

"Bottle a sample of this for me, please, and then you may go." Slughorn said, peering over his glasses at both boys before walking slowly off to inspect the work of their classmates.

James said nothing as Sirius smugly reached into the cauldron with a crystal phial to stopper some of the rapidly darkening potion.

"See, what I said, James? Sometimes you should just listen to - "

Sirius was cut off by a violent jet of hot pink potion spraying him full in the face, drenching his hair, his clothes and even his shoes.

"Ah. Yes." James said, adopting an entirely unwelcomed satisfactory tone. "It says right here – 'as a general rule, glass should be used over crystal due to most disastrous results'."

Sirius wiped the hot pink potion from his eyes quickly on the back of his sleeve before grabbing his book bag and storming out of the classroom, leaving gales of laughter behind him.

"Sirius Black in the History of Magic section? Well, tinkle me pink."

"One more wise crack about my hair and I swear to Merlin, Frank..." Sirius said, looking up from where he had set up camp at the end of the long History of Magic shelves in the library.

A rather pudgy boy with a long, round face took a knee next to him. "Seriously, though, what are you doing here? It's the first day back. Are you even in Binns' N.E.W.T. class?"

"What's it to you, Longbottom?" Sirius shot back, his mood darkening.

"Don't be like that, Sirius." Frank sighed, leaning his head back against the shelves and turning his large, round eyes to Sirius. "I'm only taking the piss. Do you want me to fix your hair for you?"

"Can you?" Sirius asked. "I've already tried the usual suspects and they won't budge this potion."

"Colovaria." Frank said, pulling out his wand and pointing it at Sirius' face.

Sirius felt a very faint tingling, but other than that, nothing much.

"I've tried that one." Sirius sighed.

"Okay, hmmm..." Frank said, tapping himself lightling in the head with his wand. "How about... Crinus Muto!"

Frank peered at him for a moment before bursting out into a huge grin.

"There! Your hair is definitely darkening." Frank said happily, before sitting back again.

"Thanks." Sirius said, picking up a lock of his hair and inspecting it. "I think it rather is darkening."

"Quite." Frank nodded.

A silence fell between them and Sirius wondered bitterly why Frank hadn't left him alone yet.

"You going to the party tonight?" Frank asked, breaking the increasingly uncomfortable silence.

"What party?" Sirius asked, suddenly terrified that he would have to attend a social gathering with fuschia hair.

"What do you mean 'what party'? The same party that happens every night of the first night?" Frank said very slowly as if Sirius had been suddenly struck very stupid.

"Oh, shit." Sirius sighed, sliding his hands slowly down his face.

"Who are you and what have you done with Sirius Black?" Frank asked again in that same, slow voice.

"Would you want to go to a party with a quarter of the school's population with flaming pink hair?" Sirius exclaimed.

"Shhh, this is a library, you know." Frank hissed, frantically looking over his shoulder to make sure nobody was watching. "It's really more of a brownish-pinkish muddy colour now."

"You have a way with words, Longbottom." Sirius sighed, once again fingering a piece of his hair to verify its colour.

"Anyways, I can see you want to wallow in your own self pity, so I'll leave you alone." Frank said, getting carefully to his feet. "See you round the common room, Sirius. Your hair should be a normal colour by tonight."

"'Bye, Frank." Sirius waved after him before leaning back against the wall and shutting his eyes.

~ REMUS ~

Remus had been watching Sirius' back all day.

This morning, he had watched Sirius' back roll away from him and out of bed. Later at breakfast, he had arrived just in time to watch Sirius' back rush out and off to class. After lunch, he had watched Sirius' back as he had rushed quickly out of the potions classroom and off to sulk somewhere while his hair turned pink.

It really was a simple spell to fix it, Remus thought bitterly as he sat on the corner windowsill in the Gryffindor common room. Too bad he's too busy feeling sorry for himself to have asked me for help.

Sirius hadn't even said goodbye this morning. Remus chewed his lip and mulled bitterly over how much of an idiot he was for ever thinking it could work between them. Sirius had been swept up in passion, in anger, in need for human compassion, not by true feelings for him. Remus could feel his mood darkening and watched as dark thunder clouds rolled in across the lake.

Pathetic fallacy, Remus mused. How fitting.

Just as the first tiny raindrops began to hit the windows, Remus stubbed out his cigarette and flicked it off into the gingerly swung his legs down from the ledge and very carefully put one foot on the floor, then the other. His joints had swollen dramatically and he could feel every reverberation around him as if it were an earthquake. The full moon was tomorrow night and he could feel it in every step he took.

People had slowly started to stream in from dinner and talk of a party was starting to brew among the older Gryffindors. The absolute last thing Remus felt like doing right now was watching everyone else have a good time while he sat around with achy joints like a curmudgeonly eighty year old.

"Need a hand?"

Remus looked up to see Peter stepping through the portrait hole, his tie loose around his neck. He had grown quite a bit over the summer and, not for lack of trying, had unfortunately not grown into what he had referred to as "baby fat" for the past seventeen years. His thick, mousy blond hair was pressed flat against his head by what Remus could only assume was an extra strength gelling potion and one of his shoes was untied. Despite his distracted appearance, Peter was there just in time to grab Remus by the arm and help him carefully to his feet.

"There, there. How are the old joints?" Peter asked kindly, his round cheeks rosy from the walk upstairs.

Remus couldn't help but smile. If one thing could be said for Peter, it was that he was steadfastly loyal.

"Not great, Pete. Not great." Remus sighed, twitching his head quickly from one side to the other with the result of several resounding cracks.

"Ugh." Peter's lip curled in disgust. "Must you do that?"

"Sorry." Remus said sheepishly. "I forget how much you guys hate that."

"How can you forget?" Peter exclaimed, helping Remus to the biggest armchair by the fire. "We tell you about ten times a day to cut it out."

"Fair enough." Remus chuckled, settling into the chair and tucking his feet underneath him.

"Where's James?" Peter asked, glancing over at the large grandfather clock by the fireplace. "Shouldn't he be here by now?"

Remus shrugged. "I assume he's trailing Lily all across the school. And I haven't seen Sirius since Potions."

Peter's face darkened ever so slightly at the mention of Sirius' name. Sirius had been exceptionally rude to him the day before on the train and he was starting to think that Sirius' constant belittlement of him was beginning to get to him.

Sirius and Peter had never been fast friends. In fact, quite the opposite. The most common source of any tension amongst their group of friends was because Sirius and Peter were fighting. It happened often – once every couple of weeks when they had been younger, but now that they were older things had only gotten worse. Sirius and Peter bickered about pretty much everything and their arguments were weekly, if not daily. Remus also suspected that Sirius resented Peter for always hanging off of James, when his attentions were already torn in so many directions. Sirius was a needy friend; he needed constant attention and constant reassurance. Now that James was also investing an enormous chunk of his time in Lily Evans, Sirius suspected he was feeling quite insecure. The easiest way to take out his insecurities? Peter Pettigrew.

"First name basis, eh, Moony?" Peter asked, ignoring the mentioning of Sirius entirely, settling down on the floor in front of the fire to warm his hands.

"What do you mean? We've known Lily since first year." Remus laughed.

"Uh huh." Peter raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, not you, too." Remus groaned, rubbing the heels of his palms into his eyes.

"I'm just joking." Peter laughed, punching Remus in the shin.

"Ouch." Remus exclaimed with a laugh. "Jerk!"

"Bastard!" Peter retaliated.

Remus was about to throw a crumpled up piece of parchment at Peter when a gaggle of Gryffindors headed by one James Potter erupted into the common room. James was talking animatedly to a pretty girl from Ravenclaw he recognized and was joined very quickly by Peter who leapt to his feet and demanded to know the plans for the evening. Remus sighed and was about to settle back into his chair when he saw Sirius come in behind them, his hair back to its regular dark brown. Remus sat up quickly, to the great displeasure of his back and shoulders, and raised a hand in greeting. Whether Sirius saw him or not he couldn't be sure.

Once again, Remus watched Sirius' back as he climbed the stairs up to the dormitory.

~ SIRIUS ~

"What's wrong with you today, mate?" James asked, watching as Sirius climbed into his bed and drew the curtains.

"Nothing." Sirius replied, pulling the covers up over his head.

After spending two hours sitting around in the library he had accomplished absolutely nothing but to make himself more angry with James and more frustrated about Remus. While at least his hair and eyebrows were back to normal, he definitely didn't feel that way.

"Hey, Pads?" James drew back the curtains and leaned his head in.

Sirius didn't reply.

"Suit yourself, mate, but the party's about to get started. It's already 8:00." James said, looking back at Peter.

"I'll come down if I feel like it." Sirius grumbled, turning away from James.

James let the curtains fall and turned back to Peter.

"What the fuck?" James mouthed silently to Peter.

"I'll get Remus." Peter mouthed back.

"That usually works." James replied silently.

"Do not get Remus! I know what you're saying out there!" Sirius exclaimed.

"Definitely get Remus." James mouthed back to Peter.

"I said no, damnit!" Sirius sat up and flung his legs over the side of the bed, but both Peter and James had already left.

"Fuck." Sirius groaned, drawing the curtains back around him and sinking back into the loving embrace of his bed.

~ REMUS ~

"Well... I don't know if that's a good idea." Remus said, his stomach churning with nerves as Peter and James dragged him to his feet. "We should probably just leave him alone. You know how he gets."

"Exactly. We know how he gets and you're the one who fixes him." Peter said.

"Is that what I'm known for? Merlin's beard." Remus allowed himself to be pulled to his feet and guided over to the staircase. "I really don't think I should talk to him."

"It always goes fine. He's in one of his foul, murderous moods. You can always pull him out of it." Peter said.

"Yeah, just like climb into bed with him or do some kind of cuddly shit you two are always doing." James said, pushing Remus onto the first step.

"You know what, guys?" Remus exclaimed his voice rising unintentionally. His stomach turned on him dangerously at James' words. "No. No. No. I am not going to talk to him."

"Why?" Peter asked. "What did he do?"

Remus met James' eye, only for a moment, and he instantly regretted it.

"Yeah, Remus." James leaned against the wall and stared hard into Remus' eyes. "What did he do?"

"Nothing. I just..." Remus' mouth went dry. James knows. "I just don't like to talk to him. Sometimes. I mean, normally I like to talk to him. He's nice. I mean, not now. He's not nice now - "

James crossed his arms. "What did Sirius do?"

"Nothing, James." Remus said, his stomach reeling as James stared him down.

"Go on, Remus!" Peter exclaimed. "It will ruin the party if he's not there and you're just moping."

"I am not moping, Peter!" Remus exclaimed.

"Go!" Peter pleaded.

"I'll go with you." James said, his eyes dark as he gently pushed past Remus and very deliberately stormed upstairs to the dormitory.

"Stay here, Pete." Remus sighed.

Remus shut his eyes, drew a deep breath, and climbed the stairs, fearing the worst.

~ SIRIUS ~

When Sirius heard the door slam open, he buried himself further under his pillows, willing himself to be completely absorbed and become one with the mattress.

When the curtains were wrenched open, Sirius opened his mouth to complain, but it was James' hands that dragged him roughly out of bed and to his feet.

"What the fuck is wrong with you, Potter?" Sirius snarled, his hair sticking up in a thousand different directions around his head.

"I have half a mind to knock your teeth out for you, mate." James said, taking a step towards Sirius and prodding him forcefully in the chest.

"Please..." Remus said, taking a step forwards to intervene, but both Sirius and James turned their eyes to Remus, clearly saying 'stay out of this'.

"You have something to say? Say it." Sirius said, crossing his arms over his bare chest.

"Yeah, I do. You've been a real prick these past couple days." James said.

"No, that's you, mate." Sirius let out a bark of a laugh. "That shit you pulled in potions? You're always trying to impress Evans and you're making a right twat of yourself."

"You know we're in seventh year, right? You know I'm head boy? You know I've actually started taking an interest in school instead of just dicking around? Things are changing." James exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air. "Maybe you should do the same."

Sirius laughed long and hard.

"You think grades are going to matter when we graduate? Pay attention, Prongs." Sirius said. "Have you noticed the school's population is down by almost a quarter? Have you read the headlines lately?"

Remus took a seat on the edge of Peter's bed.

James shook his head. "Unbelievable."

"Yeah? Go fuck yourself." Sirius snarled, picking a T-shirt up off the ground and throwing it on over his head and storming off downstairs.

"Who's ready to get fucked up?" Sirius hollered down the stairs to the growing numbers of intoxicated Gryffindors below.

~ REMUS ~

James turned to Remus, his hands shaking.

"What did he do to you?" James asked, his voice shaking with anger.

"Nothing!" Remus exclaimed, throwing his hands up.

"You're a shit liar, Moony." James said, leaning over to rummage through his trunk.

"He's just been... Moody. I don't know. He gets like this sometimes." Remus shrugged.

"Doesn't mean we should have to put up with it." James said, producing a half empty bottle of whiskey and unstoppering it long enough to take a swig.

James offered the bottle to Remus, but he shook his head.

"You know, that's not a productive way to deal with this..." Remus said slowly.

"To Sirius Fucking Black." James said, ignoring his protests, and bringing the bottle to his lips again.

Remus sighed.

"And so... So then, I said..."

Remus raised both his eyebrows. He had been trapped in this conversation with Frank Longbottom for a little over ten minutes. "What did you say?"

"I told 'im to go on and fuck 'imself." Frank said dramatically. "And then I fixed 'is hair."

"Well, that's awfully gallant of you." Remus said, staring over Frank's shoulder at Sirius who had drunkenly climbed up onto the coffee table and was doing something extremely unfortunate with his wand.

"Who you staring at?" Frank asked, turning to look over his shoulder. "Sirius! Oy, mate! What the fuck?"

"Watch!" Sirius yelled, taking a swig from the bottle in his hand, lighting a small flame at the end of his wand and spat it out in a firey spray that very nearly relieved a third year of her hair.

There were various screams as Sirius threatened to do it again, but just as Remus was about to walk over to pull him down, Lily got there first.

The party had started off slowly at first, but had rapidly picked up steam when James and Sirius joined the fray, each drunker than Remus had ever seen either of them.

He and Lily had been on Asshole Patrol - as she had so affectionately called it right after dragging Sirius away from the fireplace for the first time - since 8:00 when things had started to get truly out of hand.

In an effort to keep up with his friends, Peter had become so drunk that he couldn't properly form words and it had been Remus' job to drag him bodily up to the dormitory.

Lily's friend, Alice, had begun removing clothing right after the fireplace incident and had been given a strong cup of coffee and banished to sit in a corner for a while to calm down.

Remus had the immense joy of watching Sirius sloppily hit on women and talk gleefully to every man he passed for the better part of the night. Sirius had walked by Remus several times without so much as a glance.

The golden nights of summer on the Potter estate seemed to Remus now like years ago instead of mere days.

"What a party." Frank grinned, wandering off in Sirius' direction.

Remus took a small sip of his brandy and made his way to the corner window which he pried open and started to smoke out of.

"Mind if I join you?"

Remus looked up to see a tall, dark-haired boy wearing Ravenclaw colours lean down against the window will next to him.

"I don't see why not..." Remus said, an eyebrow raised as the boy pulled a cigarette out from the inner pocket of his robes.

"I was invited here by Frank Long bottom but he seems to have forgotten I exist." He said, his voice a cool baritone with a hint of a Russian accent.

"Frank gets around." Remus chuckled, watching him sweep a stray lock of hair off his forehead before lighting the cigarette.

"Apparently." He chuckled, taking a quick drag and blowing it out the window. "So. You're not drunk."

"No." Remus said with a sigh. "I'm on Asshole Patrol."

He let out a deep laugh. "Is this a Gryffindor standard practice?"

"No, though it should be." Remus laughed. "Things tend to get out of hand around here rather easily."

"I can see that." He said. "Fire breathing Gryffindors abound."

"Unfortunately." Remus sighed, realising he was referring to Sirius' theatrics.

"Ah, where are my manners?" He said, his accent colouring his words ever so slightly. "My name is Andrei Pavlov."

"I haven't seen you around, Andrei." Remus said.

"Transfer from Durmstrang." Andrei replied, simply. "Things are... Difficult where I come from. Much better for me to finish school in England. My mother is English."

"Ah, so you're in seventh year?" Remus asked, carefully avoiding what would probably be a sensitive subject. He had heard that the uprising of the dark arts in Eastern Europe had not been an easy road.

"Yes. And you?" Andrei asked, stubbing his cigarette out against the window sill.

"Seventh year, too." Remus smiled.

"Your name, I mean." Andrei laughed.

"Oh, Remus Lupin." Remus extended his hand for Andrei to shake.

That is, he would have, had there not been at that moment a resounding crash followed by a chorus of startled screams.

Remus whirled around just in time to watch James grab Sirius by the shirt collar, raise his fist and land a punch straight across his jaw that sent him hard to the ground.

"Fuck." Remus said, flicking his cigarette out the window, giving Andrei an apologetic look, and running off towards the fray. He shouldered his way past throngs of onlookers and watched in disbelief as his two best friends grappled on the floor.

James was sitting astride Sirius, delivering a flurry of blows to his head. Sirius had thrown his arms up over his face and lucky that James was as drunk as he was because the punches were on the softer side of average.

In a rush of adrenaline, Remus grabbed James by the shoulders and pulled him off Sirius with all his strength, his joints screaming in pain.

"What is wrong with you two?" Remus yelled, his hands shaking. The proximity of the full moon gave him a hairline trigger and he could feel anger rising up in him like bile.

James simply shook Remus off of him, stood up and stormed drunkenly off towards the dormitory.

Sirius was still lying on his back, blood trickling down from his nose.

"What are you lot looking at?" Remus snarled at the rest of the Gryffindors who quickly dispersed.

Remus then rounded on Sirius who was attempting to prop himself up on his elbows.

"You bloody idiot." Remus said, crouching down next to Sirius and pointing his wand at his face. "Episkey."

"Ouch." Sirius groaned, holding his nose.

"Get up." Remus said shortly, getting to his feet.

Sirius obeyed, steadying himself carefully as he did.

"Remus, I - "

"Save it." Remus said, his hands still shaking as he followed Sirius upstairs.

"Remus - " Sirius started again.

"I said fucking save it." Remus snapped.

They made it into the dormitory in time to see the curtains snap closed around James' bed. There was no sound from Peter's bed and the other two beds were empty.

"I'm sorry, Remus." Sirius said as Remus pushed him down onto his bed and helped him take his clothes off to sleep.

"No, you're not." Remus said, quickly folding his clothes and placing them on the bedside table.

He pointed his wand at Sirius' face again and muttered, "tergeo", before stowing his wand in his bedside table.

"James - "

"I don't want to hear it!" Remus hissed, trying to keep his voice down.

Sirius very slowly laid down in his bed.

"The room is spinning." Sirius said, gingerly touching his face where a few lovely blue bruises were starting to bloom under his skin.

"I'm sure it is." Remus said, tossing his own clothes off and grabbing a pair of pyjama bottoms.

"Stay with me." Sirius said, reaching out to try to grab Remus by the wrist.

"I'm not sure I want to." Remus said honestly, crossing his arms over his bare chest.

Sirius faltered, and in a moment of hurt, Remus realised just how deeply Sirius took it for granted that he would always be there.

"No, not tonight." Remus said, turning away towards his own bed.

Remus climbed into bed and drew the curtains around him, willing himself to calm down. He had expected Sirius to be a little on the touchy side for the next couple of days because of how James had embarrassed him this morning, but he had never expected this. He hadn't expected Sirius to leave him this morning and then avoid him all day only to have his first words to him come after he had drank the better part of a bottle of whiskey.

After several minutes of unsuccessful attempts at trying to soothe himself into rest, he swung his legs over the side of the bed and crossed to the window between his and Sirius' bed. The cool September air hit him welcomingly in the face and he leaned further out to where he could see the full moon hanging gibbous over the astronomy tower - mocking him.

His thoughts turned back to the only person who had genuinely been interested in speaking him tonight - the Russian Ravenclaw transfer student.

How sad was it that the only person who had wanted to be around him today had been a complete stranger?

Remus found his mind wandering, wondering where Andrei was right now and what he had thought of all the bullshit that had transpired. Had he stayed to watch? Had he gone back to Ravenclaw tower? Was he thinking about him, too?

"Remus?" Sirius' voice came from behind the curtains.

Remus drew in a deep breath, let it out slowly through his nose, and ignored his friend.

After a few moments, Remus heard the rustle of curtains being drawn.

"Go away, Sirius. I need to sleep." Remus said, drawing on every last ounce of will power he had to keep from murdering his friend. "You've been a right prick all day."

Remus smelled the overwhelming scent of tobacco and whiskey before he felt Sirius' hands on his hips, and then arms around his waist.

"I'm a mess." Sirius said into the back of Remus' neck.

Remus tensed up as Sirius wrapped his arms more firmly around him, keeping his gaze out the window and desperately trying to keep his temper in check.

"I'm sorry." Sirius whispered, leaning his cheek against Remus' back. "I don't know why I'm like this."

Remus remained silent, watching as a dark grey cloud passed over the face of the moon.

"Say something." Sirius begged, tightening his grip around Remus' waist.

"What are you doing, Sirius?" Remus asked finally, feeling his anger slowly fading into an empty sort of ache.

Sirius froze for a moment.

"You're behaving like a jerk. To everyone. To me, to James, to Peter…" Remus said, still staring straight out the window. "I don't know what you did down there to make James pound you into the ground, but whatever it was I have a feeling you deserved it. James has been looking after you like a brother since the moment you two met and this is how you repay him? Just because he's found a girl he likes doesn't mean he's replaced you. You're acting like a child with a particularly bad case of separation anxiety."

Sirius didn't reply and Remus clenched his hands into fists to stop his hands from shaking.

"Get off of me, Sirius." He shrugged sharply away from Sirius "You don't get to crawl back here after leaving me in the small hours of the morning to go change in the bathroom so I wouldnt see you and then avoiding me all day. You can only summon the courage to talk to me, to touch me, after you've drunk so much you can barely stand up." Remus said, willing his voice not to crack. "You timed your whole day around not seeing me. You timed it all and thought it through so well that you didn't even have to sit next to me in classes. You didn't have to take your meals with me. You didn't even want to see me at the party.

Sirius stared at Remus, eyes so full of hurt it broke Remus' heart.

"Remus, let me - " Sirius began, but Remus held up a hand.

"I just… I don't know if I want to hear what you have to say for yourself. I don't know if I can trust this. Trust what you're doing now." Remus said, crossing his arms and looking away. "Tonight, and probably last night, were because you needed comforting. I'm not going to put myself through letting myself fall for you and then having to wake up to you sneaking off because you're too ashamed of me to stay."

Sirius opened his mouth, but closed it again, thinking better of what he was about to say.

"So, there." Remus said, shouldering past Sirius. "I said something."

Remus had barely taken a step forwards before Sirius had grabbed him by the forearm and held him fast.

"Let go!" Remus exclaimed, a little more loudly than he had intended.

"No!" Sirius exclaimed, pulling Remus back towards him. "That's not what I feel, okay?"

Remus swallowed hard and turned back to face Sirius, trying to decide whether the emotion churning in his stomach was anger or sadness.

"Remus, you're my best friend." Sirius said, his breath reeking of alcohol as he snaked his hand down from Remus' wrist to his hand. "Don't be like this."

"Don't be like what?" Remus asked, exasperated.

"Like… this." Sirius said, drunkenly motioning with the other hand to Remus' entire being.

"It's called being hurt." Remus said. "And angry."

"I love you." Sirius said, pulling Remus in closer.

"You don't know what you're saying." Remus said, his stomach lurching at Sirius' words.

"I love you." Sirius said. "I just… I snuck away because… I've never felt like that for… well, you know… like, a person with a dick… you know…"

"You're a poet." Remus said as Sirius slid his arms around Remus' waist.

Sirius leaned back against the wall next to the window, his wild black hair lit from behind by the moon.

"I love you." Sirius repeated, pulling Remus against him.

"You don't." Remus said, feeling a lump rising in his throat as Sirius tilted his chin up to look him in the eye. "You're drunk. You only ever get like this when you're - "

Sirius leaned forward and pressed his lips gently against Remus'. Remus stood frozen there for a moment, caught up in the smell of Sirius, in the chill of the night and in the momentary break in his anger until, in a surge of emotion, Remus flung his arms around Sirius' neck and pulled him closer. Sirius opened his mouth slightly to deepen the kiss, pulling Remus by the hips more fully against him.

If this was going to be the only time he heard Sirius say those words, then at least -

"Well, you weren't bloody lying about Evans, Remus, I can see that now." came Peter's voice…

... From right behind them.

Remus had never detached himself so quickly from anything in his life. In a mad dash, and in a moment of strange thought, grabbed a pillow and covered his naked top half with it.

"Oh, don't stop on my behalf. Good show, really." Peter said, slurring his words as he left the bathroom and staggered dangerously from foot to foot as he crossed the dormitory.

"Where were you?" Remus asked, as Sirius stood stock still, eyes wide as dinner plates.

"Fell asleep in the… bathroom." Peter hiccoughed, grabbing the poster frame of the bed in front of him to steady himself as he climbed into bed. "Go on, keep snogging. I'm jus' goin' to bed."

Remus turned to Sirius after Peter had closed the curtains around his bed and the snoring had begun.

"Well." Remus said, spine rigid and fists clenched in a tension so awkward he could almost taste it. "That was nice."

"Quite." Sirius replied, a sly smirk spreading across his face. Still leaning against the wall, he quirked a brow.

"'Night, Sirius." Remus said, turning quickly and leaping into his bed, hoping desperately that Sirius didn't follow him and that Peter wouldn't remember this in the morning.