Chapter 10

R ~~~

took a bit of convincing, but Optimus had been surprisingly alright with Rachel's request. She was slowly understanding why he was a leader.

She wanted to see Elaine again. After the previous day, she wanted to talk to a human friend for a bit. Arcee watched over her this time, getting close to town through ground bridge and taking a short trip to her friend's house. Rachel was not a pro at using a motorcycle. She was just glad she wasn't the one driving it. She hoped she'd be able to persuade Elaine not to contact her mother.

"I won't call her, but at least tell me you're okay." Elaine said, bringing her over something to eat. Elaine claimed Rachel looked paler than usual, so having a big breakfast was non negotiable as far as she was concerned.. Rachel could understand why. She had been living with the Autobots for a week and a half now. Her diet wasn't as great as she wanted it to be.

"I'm fine. Really. Just… making some big decisions on my own." she said.

"What? To disappear from civilization? You didn't tell anyone what you were doing, Rachel. Not even me." Elaine said, sending over a plate of breakfast to her. Sausage, eggs, and some toast. Her mouth was watering just smelling it.

"I don't want to give half-truths to you, but let's just say it has something to do with the ten years I couldn't remember as a child." Rachel told her.

"The stuff you didn't want to talk about?" Elaine asked, then sipped on her coffee.

"Yeah." she said before taking another bite. "That stuff."

Elaine sighed. "So then why did you come here?"

"Sort of to say goodbye." she told her quietly. Elaine paused mid sip, staring at her in alarm. Her eyes felt like they were piercing her soul.

"Rachel, you're scaring me."

"Just trust me on this. It's hard to explain, and you wouldn't believe me if I told you. I don't know what's going to happen in the future, but I didn't want you thinking anything terrible happened to me. You'll probably see my mom again. When you do, tell her I'm okay. And I'm happy." The happy part was a bit of an exaggeration to calm them down. In truth, she felt the complete opposite in this situation.

"You couldn't go tell her yourself?" Elaine asked.

"No. I don't think I'd want to leave again if I did." Rachel slumped down in her seat a little.

"Don't worry about that past stuff and just go home. This is stupid."

"I have to do this, Elaine. I have a responsibility now. It sounds weird but… just trust me?"

Elaine stared at her. She shook her head and stood. "I'll have to tell the cops you were here, you know. You're a missing person right now." Elaine probably thought she was insane now, but Rachel was okay with that. It was a good cover for her. Though they probably would want to take her to a mental hospital now if they caught her.

Rachel huffed a breath, chowing down the rest of her food.

She quickly stood when Elaine left the kitchen. Was she going to call someone now? "Where are you go-?"

She cut her off. "To grab you a few things. Just relax. I'm not calling them now..."

A few minutes passed by while Rachel scarfed down her food, debating just leaving right now to not risk it. Elaine returned with an old backpack, stuffing some things in it from the kitchen. "What is all that for?" Rachel asked.

"For you. At least I'll know you aren't starving out there. It's been almost two weeks and you already look like a stick." her tone was quiet and somber, making Rachel's chest hurt. "Also some other things I thought I'd throw in."

She stood again as Elaine placed the bag in her arms. Elaine wrapped her arms around her friend, holding her close. Rachel felt trails of tears streaming down her cheeks now, and she wasn't sure when they would stop.

"Just be safe, okay? Don't make me regret letting you go." Elaine said, pulling away to look at Rachel's now teary face. "And stop crying! You're making me cry." her voice wavered off a bit, already choking on tears.

"I will." she said to her, wiping her cheeks on her sleeves. She paused briefly, waiting for a moment and then looking up to Elaine, wiping at her cheeks some more.

"This might be a stupid request, but the Star Wars trilogy you borrowed from me. The dvd set? Can I take it with me?"

Elaine's eyes were red with tears, and she managed to give her the weirdest look she'd ever seen.

She got the movies and gave her friend one more farewell before returning to Arcee in the driveway.

"You alright?" Arcee asked her. Rachel hopped on the bike, wiping her eyes again. "Yeah, I'm okay." It was a big fat lie, and it was obvious. She felt horrible. She felt even more homesick than she had been originally. Even if this wasn't her brightest idea, she at least got to say goodbye to Elaine. And hopefully her mom could know she was okay.

When she arrived back, she went to place her things in her room. Before she went to check on Bumblebee again, she looked through the backpack Elaine had packed for her.

She pulled out a bunch of instant food stuffs and even a plug in kettle. She'd stuffed some chocolates and even some popcorn in there. She bit on the inside of her cheek in a bid to fight off another bout of tears. It failed miserably.

B ~~~

It had only been a day since the incident, and Rachel had come to see Bee any chance she had. Though, she did usually have to spend time with Ratchet as he took samples from her. Ratchet cursed the work, saying this sort of science was meant for the mad scientist, Wheeljack. As much as they could use his help, they would have to make due without him for a while longer.

It wouldn't be too much longer for Rachel. They would have to do this a lot sooner than they wanted to. Optimus claimed they would need to abandon the bunker soon. The Decepticons would find them in this rock. They couldn't keep hiding forever.

He wondered how the transition would be for her. They had some small, superficial similarities, but she had been an organic creature. They way their bodies worked was completely different.

Of all the things she could be doing in her last days of being human, she chose to spend them while Bee was still in Ratchet's care. He had told her previously she didn't have to be by him all the time. Regardless of what he said, her excuse was that she just wanted to. The company was nice, but there was a tinge of guilt lingering in his processor.

She held up a small box to him with some pictures on it. It took him a moment to figure out what it was, but it eventually clicked when he read the title.

"You know, when I said I wanted to watch those movies, I didn't expect you'd have them the next day." Bumblebee burst with laughter.

"I saw Elaine yesterday. She gave me the ones I let her borrow a while ago." Rachel explained. She had brought her laptop and all three movies for them to watch together while he was stuck on Ratchet's med table.

"How did you convince Optimus to let you do that?" Bee asked her, his words a little fuzzier than usual because of the damage to his neck.

Ratchet spoke up from the corner of the med bay, setting up an energon syringe. "I think after what happened, he's decided to be a little more lenient regarding her whereabouts. As long as she's not gone for a long period of time, of course."

"Why's that?" Bumblebee squinted his eyes at Rachel a little. After everything, it would be wrong for him to not worry about her. It was his his responsibility.

"To… help her remain calm, I guess. She had a bit of a meltdown when we brought you here." Ratchet gave a side eye to Rachel as he spoke about her.

"Ratchet, you didn't have to go say that…" Rachel grumbled quietly.

"A meltdown?"

"A radioactive meltdown, and I'm very unstable right now." she said, her tone heavy with sarcasm. She was trying to change the subject, and it didn't take him until later to realize it had worked.

"That doesn't sound new though…" he teased quietly.

He saw her raise a hand to smack him on the arm, hesitating and lowering it again as she knew she'd just hurt herself. He watched her as she relaxed a little but let out a small sigh. Her eyes glanced over to Ratchet as he left the med bay for a bit, then looked back to meet his gaze.

"I had another one of those dreams again last night." she admitted to him quietly.

"You didn't tell anyone?" he asked. He was a little more tense now from this revelation.

"I wanted to talk about it with you first..."

A ~~~

Cybertron was going downhill fast, and everyone knew it. They were just keeping quiet about it. Nobody talked about it except Optimus Prime and his lieutenants.

It didn't take long to get the hang of their new life for both Aurora and Punch Buggy. Everyone was struggling with the transition, so it wasn't too hard to fit in with the crowd. Though there was a handful of bots who actually knew combat, and they stood out.

She still missed her old life. She missed her construction work and repairing buildings. It was a simpler, less stressful life than this. Aurora was not a fighter, nor was she sure she would be able to get the hang of training. She felt less competent the more they tried to drill the training into her head. Perhaps it was mostly from the denial of wanting to become something else, but she did try. She just wasn't very good at it.

More time went on and the more it felt like she could never go back to that sort of life. How could everyone learn to forgive each other after killing so many? One side would win, and the other would be wiped out or imprisoned.

Whatever the outcome, life would never go back to how it was.

Aurora's hand was outstretched, her fingertips only just grazing the energon container. She looked back up in the ventilation shaft she had climbed through to get into the energon storage room. She was starving, feeling like her circuits would go dry at any second if she didn't replenish herself soon.

She dropped down from the vent, deciding to try a different way. She hung from the edge, grabbing ahold of a gap between the small covering and the shaft itself. He other arm began reaching out again to grab a cube. She felt her spark drop into her belly when it nearly slipped from her fingers, but she was able to get it balanced once again. She didn't know if anyone was outside the room's door, but an energon explosion would be loud.

She wasn't used to stealing, but had to learn a few things here and there to get by. She was thankful she had figured it out from others she had watched. Though, she had a lot to learn still.

She froze as the doors slid open. She then heard her superior officer's voice stepping into the small room. "So, you go from being a nuisance to being a petty thief. What more will you do to aggravate me?" Prowl grumbled, stepping out from behind a stack of cubes.

"I could do quite a few things if you tick me off enough. I know some people." she said with a smile, laughing lightly.

"It's not funny, Aurora."
"By the Allspark, Prowl, I missed the callout for energon rations for the past two days. Nobody would believe me and said I was just lying for handouts." She went ahead and got to the ground, placing the cube back.

"Then you come speak to me, soldier. I'm responsible for you." he said with a heavy sigh.

"Fine, fine. May I have one now?" she asked, stepping backwards to grab one again.

"No." he turned to head out the door, beckoning her to follow. She was tempted to throw one of the cubes at the back of his head, but that definitely wouldn't end well. It probably would mean no energon for two full weeks for her. She slumped after him.

"Okay, what horrible duties will you give me this time? Cleaning the oil showers again?"

"Your thieving skills will be useful elsewhere." He said, not looking down at her as he spoke. "I'm taking you to Ultra Magnus."

"So he can hand out my punishment?" she asked with a raised brow plate.

"Close. But it'll be a fair enough punishment. Besides, it's not going to be an easy task."

"I don't like the sound of where this is going..." she muttered, catching up with him.

Prowl took her to one of the main hangers to one of the launching bays. Mostly for bigger groups of people in bigger ships. There were multiple ships, each with a platoon of their own boarding. This was a lot bigger than she had anticipated.

She looked to Prowl. "You're… going to send me off with them?" She felt like her spark was sinking further and further downwards. The inevitability of death hung in the air, and it wasn't just from her.

"I believe you would be a true asset to this team. It's not so much a punishment as it is an opportunity for you to learn." he told her, turning to finally look at her.

"I've never been on anything like this before… what if I ruin the mission?"

"You will not be engaging with them. Simply observing."

A bit of weight came off her shoulders, but that thought still clung to her. She was a coward and she knew it. If there was not a guarantee of coming back, she wanted nothing to do with it.

And anything could go wrong. It always did.

R ~~~

Rachel brought her knees up to her chest, hugging them with her arms as she finished telling Bumblebee what she knew.

He remained completely silent as she explained what she remembered. To her surprise, he seemed more upset than even she was as he stared off into nothing.

The both of them sat outside. She enjoyed the fresh air, taking long breaths as she calmed herself down. These memories definitely didn't give her good feelings.

She flinched a little when he finally spoke. He had been quiet for a while. "If you don't want to tell everyone about this, I'd understand." he said to her.

"Why do you say that?" she was genuinely surprised with him. She expected him to want to tell Optimus like last time.

"These are personal, and I wouldn't want you to feel like you have to explain yourself to them. They're your memories and thoughts, after all."

"It sort of feels a little embarrassing compared to the rest of you guys."

Bumblebee raised a brow plate at the word she used. "Why embarrassed?"

"I didn't like fighting. I felt like I wanted to run and hide most of the time…" The words came from her mouth as if she'd known about it this whole time. So far, the memories that were coming back to her weren't very good. Mostly ones someone wouldn't want to remember. What irony that previously she wanted to learn of her past and get her memories back, only to find out she didn't really want them now and that they frightened her. There were fuzzy memories of some good times with the Autobots she still was trying to recollect, but who knew when those would come back. She let her chin rest on her knees. "I was a coward."

"I don't care what they told you back on Cybertron, but it's not wrong to be scared. Some just grew numb to it over time. Do you think I was always throwing myself out into danger?"

The thought of it made her giggle a little. "Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised. You do like to throw yourself into trouble. You should hear some of the stories Ratchet has told me." she said with a faint smile. And she had many stories. She especially liked the story of when he was younger, he would race into the head of the fight and get tossed by the first brute and be out for the rest of the fight. It was nice to know he makes mistakes too. Just like she does. Perhaps not as horribly made mistakes like hers, but these beings weren't perfect either. She didn't feel as flawed as she initially felt.

He let out a unhappy huff, only for his expression to quickly return into a smile he couldn't hold back. "Now you're starting to sound like Ratchet too."

She laughed more this time. "That means you need to get out of that med bay soon so I don't have to be around him so much." She knew she was being harsh to the old medic bot. She had been getting along with him more and more lately. Especially with all his old stories he told her.

"I'm out now, aren't I?"

She gave him a skeptical look. "I mean healed. Out of there for good. You know what I mean."

"Right, right." Bumblebee looked her over for a moment. "You changed the subject earlier but I still wanted to ask you about it. You… had a meltdown?"

Rachel covered her face in embarrassment. "Sort of. I guess what happened sort of triggered some emotions to come out that Aurora had. That's what Optimus tells me at least."

"But it was because you saw me injured? That was what triggered it?"

"Yes." she said simply. He noticed her body temperature was increasing once again, her cheeks turning red. "I was worried about you a lot. I told you about that already."

He was going to push more at it, but she really didn't seem like she wanted to discuss it. "Are you alright now?"

"I feel like I don't have control of what I say sometimes. It's like this second personality comes out of nowhere and ruins everything." she uncovered her face and let her chin rest again on her knees. "I don't really like Aurora."

"Well, she is you."

Rachel shook her head. "No. No she's not." He didn't really understand her meaning.

"Why don't you like her?" he asked, leaning forward a little to look at her a little better as she was curling herself up.

"She was stupid. Made stupid decisions. Plus she was very self centered."

Bumblebee sighed, not understanding her very well. Was she going to forever hate herself then? They were the same person, only in different situations. "You only know a few memories. Don't jump to conclusions about her when you don't even know what kind of person you were."

That was the first time he had ever really lectured her about something. She just found it odd of him. He usually was so willing to agree with her on things. Though he understood if had his own opinions. She prefered it. "I know but… fine." she didn't want to fight him about it. She really didn't want to admit it, but he was right. She didn't really know all of herself yet.

Before they returned inside, he insisted they start watching those movies she'd brought back. So for the rest of the morning, they found a good distraction in the Star Wars movies. He liked them a lot. The way he smiled through the best parts of the movies made her whole body feel warm. Mostly though in her chest. It made her unable to stop smiling. She was thankful she could still have these moments. It was a good way to spend her last day. Sitting and watching movies with a friend. A friend she never knew she needed.

Chapter tennn! (I'm posting this early because I got it edited early) I can't believe I've made it to two digits. Thank you everyone for reading and for your wonderful comments. It keeps me wanting to write for you guys!

I did also want to point out that I've made a DeviantArt account to post some pictures I've drawn for the story. I'm also debating starting to turn this into a comic, which I will be posting on there too (Or somewhere else if I can find somewhere better). If you'd like to take a peek at my account, you can grab a link on my profile.

Thank you again for reading! You guys are awesome!