A/N: I don't own Vampire Diaries or any of the canon characters.
Oooookay I get it now, you guys would rather have secret option number three… longer AND more frequent updates! Thanks for the votes guys, I really wish I could update every day. On average I write about 3000+ words on most work days (more on weekends) but I have so many different writing projects that I can't get to each one each day as much as I'd like to. So I'll do my best to find a happy medium and keep everyone satisfied.
"I have to go." Letting my hair fall as a curtain to hide my features I wrenched myself out of his embrace, desperate to get out of there before I did something irrevocable. I could hear him start to come after me but I cheated, blurring out of there at vampire speed so that he stumbled into an empty hallway by the time he came through the door. He was still looking around in confusion as I zipped past the main entrance, desperate to get away from the sea of bodies that tormented my already overburdened senses.
I didn't stop until I had made it safely into my house, leaning against the front door with my eyes closed. The impromptu run had severely depleted my reserves and I found it hard to drag myself up the stairs and get to my room under my own power. I was sure I'd hear about it later that I had blown off the last two periods of school, but I'd rather face Jenna's wrath in that moment than deal with the rest of the school day in my state of mind and body.
Crashing onto my bed, I lacked the strength to even kick off my shoes before the deep sleep overtook me and I knew no more.
"Elena?"
The next thing I knew it was after dark and Jenna was pounding on my door. After a moment I came to realize that she wasn't pounding, that was just my head. My tongue felt thick and dry as I sat up, and I headed for the bathroom to drink straight out of the tap, taking great gulps of water to quell the churning in my belly. Catching my reflection in the mirror, there was no sign of that supposed vampire allure. In fact, I looked like I'd slept in an alley somewhere. I looked… hung over, and it occurred to me that hung over was what I was feeling too. Just what had been in that concoction of Damon's?
"Are you up sweetie?" Jenna called softly, obviously trying not to wake me if I was still asleep.
"Yeah Aunt Jenna." I replied, moving back to the bed to sit back down again.
Jenna opened the door, sticking just her head in before coming into the room. "Boy you were really out like a light." She gave me a sympathetic smile. "Are you still feeling under the weather?"
Under the weather. That sounded like an apt a description as any, I felt like I'd been out in the pouring rain without a jacket for hours, and shivered. "A little. Maybe it was too soon to go back to school." I ventured.
"Yeah you don't want to overdo it." She nodded. "Listen Bonnie is downstairs but I can send her away if you're still not feeling well."
Bonnie. Even though I wasn't feeling my best, I was eager to talk to her, see what she was thinking. "Um, can you send her upstairs?"
"Sure. And how about I make you some soup?" Jenna smiled indulgently, and I could tell she was enjoying the opportunity for a little motherly nurturing, even if it meant I was feeling sick.
"Not just now, but maybe later." I hedged, finding a smile for her. The idea of regular food sounded… repellant in every way, even blood didn't sound all that great. My body was just craving more water and I went to refill my pink aluminum sports bottle while she went down to send Bonnie up.
Bonnie arrived with a soft knock, and I was pleased to note that my headache was already starting to recede a little. "Come in." I called out, sitting back down on the bed.
"Hey." Bonnie smiled, a little hesitant as she entered, but moving to join me on the edge of the bed. "I didn't see you after school, and then Jenna said you were passed out asleep all afternoon, I was a little worried about you." She admitted, studying me carefully.
"Yeah, I've been fighting off this bug; I don't know what it is." I nodded, resisting the urge to squirm under her gaze.
Her hesitation was a bit more pronounced now, as if she was trying to decide whether or not to say anything. "Are you sure that's all it is?" She asked finally.
"Um… yeah, what else would it be?" Play dumb; it was a valid strategy.
"You just seem…"
Suddenly I didn't want to know what I seemed like, and decided to try and throw her off the scent so to speak. "Well there was one thing… with Matt." I gave her a look. "He cornered me between classes, he started saying all this stuff about Stefan being wrong for me and that he still loves me. I… guess I didn't deal with it very well." There, let her chew on that for a while…
"He did?" Bonnie blinked, clearly not having expected me to say something like that. "What did you say to him?"
"What could I say? Bonnie I don't love him like that, I don't know if I ever did. Just because things with Stefan and me are a little strained right now…"
"So things are still off there? Did you ever talk to him about it? Confront him about his weird behavior and your suspicions?"
Did I ever… Instead I just shook my head. "He went out of town for a few days, and it's not something I want to get into over the phone." That part was true enough.
"He did? I thought you were over at his place for the couple of days you missed school?" Her brow wrinkled in confusion.
"Well, yeah, I was. But I was asleep for most of the time." Not completely a lie, I had slept during the days.
"You should have called me, I would have come to pick you up and take you home."
"That's okay, I was alright; Damon was there."
"Damon?" A single brow rose skeptically. "And that was a good thing?"
I shifted uncomfortably, "He's not as bad as everyone thinks." God, what was I saying? Even as the words came out of my mouth I realized it was true. I'd come to rely on him in the past few days and not just because he was my only option.
Bonnie wasn't as easily convinced though. "Elena… you're not…"
"What with Damon? No, god no…" I protested quickly. "We're just friends."
"When did that happen?"
"Just recently I guess. He's sorta been there for me since Stefan left town."
"Did you and Stefan have a fight before he left?"
"Not exactly, things between us are just… complicated right now." Understatement of the century.
"I'm sorry Elena; I know how much he means to you." Bonnie gave me a sympathetic smile and things were okay between us again. Until she reached over to touch my arm and froze; her eyes going wide with shock and dismay.
"Bonnie?" I started to get worried when the look lingered, her eyes staring off at some far away place. "Bonnie, what is it?"
Her eyes snapped back to the present then, and she visibly shrank away from me, stumbling backward to her feet. "I have to go…"
"Bonnie! What did you see?" I demanded, standing up myself.
Bonnie's hip struck my dresser as she edged her way to the door and her features twisted with pain. "I saw you… I saw you drinking a girl's blood with Damon."
Of all the things she could have flashed on in that moment… I muttered a few choice expletives under my breath. "Bonnie it's okay, I swear. I can explain everything."
"Explain? How are you gonna explain that you're a… a… vampire?" The last word came out with disgust.
"Bonnie I'm still me, I promise. I would never hurt you, or anyone." My voice throbbed with sincerity, but I fought to keep from using my compulsion on her, I wanted her to believe it for real.
"Yeah? Tell that to the girl I saw you feeding off of." She scoffed.
"She liked that." The defense leapt to my lips. Hearing what that sounded like, I could see I was in a losing argument. "We didn't hurt her, not really, Damon made sure we were really careful."
"So this is how Damon's really been there for you lately? He's teaching you how to eat people?" Bonnie bit out bitterly.
"He saved my life!" I hadn't really acknowledged that out loud before, but it was true. "I would have died a few nights ago after I wrapped my car around a tree, but he chose to turn me instead of let me die." I took a half step closer to her, my hands outstretched in a supplicating gesture. "I can't help what I am now, but I can try and live without harming others. Damon is my best hope of trying to get control over this thing."
"What about Stefan? He's one too isn't he? Why isn't he here helping you through all of this?"
A fair question. "He went off in search of…" At the last minute I changed my mind about telling her about the magic rings. At the moment she didn't look like she was okay with any of this and that was dangerous information for anyone to have. "…something to help me make the transition, to curb the cravings." If only that were true! Even then, half hungover and in the middle of this discussion about how I would never hurt her, I was aware of her heart beating madly in her chest, the spike of fear that spiced her blood.
"Bonnie… I didn't have to tell you any of this. I could have made you forget all about it." I said gently. "I was hoping that you might be the one person who could understand and maybe help me get through this, given that you're not exactly… normal yourself.
"Yeah well getting visions and the occasional burst of power isn't exactly on par with viewing people as fast food." Bonnie muttered, but the wild, trapped look had started to fade from her eyes.
"Everything will be okay, I promise, you'll see. Just… please keep my secret until I can figure out what to do about this." I pleaded, hoping our friendship was strong enough to keep her on my side.
I could tell she was conflicted, but Bonnie gave me a little nod and a tight lipped smile. "I gotta go." She mumbled, moving towards the door and this time I let her go.
Once she was gone, I picked up the phone, dialing Stefan automatically, but all I got was his voicemail and I hung up without leaving a message. My thumb hovered over the keyboard as I debated whether or not to call Damon. Was I getting too dependent on him? And what if I told him about Bonnie and he decided that it was too dangerous for her to know about us and he decided to… take steps?
I had no doubt that he was capable of sacrificing Bonnie to save his own hide, but how far would he take it? Would he just erase the memory of our conversation or would it be something more? Clearly Bonnie had known something was up with me, it would only be a matter of time before she figured it out again even if he did erase the knowledge from her mind now.
Tossing the phone onto the bed, I headed for the shower to help clear my head.
*** back from commercial ***
Feeling much refreshed after the shower and change of clothes, I ventured out of my room, that bowl of soup sounding almost good. As I started down the stairs, I could tell that something was… off. Maybe not off, but different. It pricked at my senses, making me alert as I came downstairs, fearing the worst. As I took in the scene before me, I couldn't decide if what I'd found was good or bad.
Damon was sitting comfortable as could be on my living room couch, watching TV.
As I stared dumbfounded, Jenna came out of the kitchen bearing a bowl of popcorn, a placid smile on her face. "Here you go, extra butter, just how you like it. Oh Elena, are you feeling better?"
I nodded mutely, waiting for her to make her exit before I approached Damon, my expression thunderous. "What are you doing here?" I hissed.
"Well you can't go out right? Grounded I believe you said?" Damon answered blandly, popping a kernel of popcorn into his mouth.
"I thought I told you I didn't want you to screw with her head?"
Damon leaned forward, his expression earnest. "In case you missed it, I don't exactly do what I'm told, that's Stefan." He sat back against the couch, clearly with no intent to move.
"So if you were gonna mess with her mind, then why didn't you just fudge it so I could get off of being grounded and just leave?" I asked, wondering why he had sought me out that night. Was he… lonely?
"Oh, you'd rather I do that? Well get her back in here, I'm game. Anything else you'd like while I'm at it? A new car? The last one's still a little crispy isn't it?" He smirked.
"No, this is fine." I sat down in a huff at the opposite end of the couch, as far away from him as possible. "What are you watching?"
"Fright Night. A real vampire classic." He replied, turning his attention back to the screen as he absently munched on popcorn.
I'd seen it before, a long time ago and I admit, I had felt a little sorry for the vampire… until he'd gotten all disgusting and gross at the end. We watched the movie in companionable silence for a few minutes, me reaching over for a handful of popcorn before I retreated back to my corner.
Damon seemed wholly engrossed in the film, openly grinning when the vampire finagled an invitation to the guy's house from his mother. "I love this movie. I mean apart from the girl looking just like his old lover, I mean how lame is that? He smirked, and the reference to Katherine wasn't lost on me.
"Yeah, what kind of a moron would get all obsessed with a girl just because she looked like his ex?" I raised a brow at him, feeling triumphant when I saw the disgruntled look come over his face. Had I hit a little too close to home?
"How was school today?" He changed the subject.
"It was... it had its ups and downs." I admitted. "Hey what was that stuff that you gave me by the way?" I remembered to ask.
"Did it work for you?"
"Yeah it worked great for most of the day, but what was it?"
"A little something I discovered in my travels." Damon gave a noncommittal shrug.
"But what was it?" I persevered.
"Do you want some more?" He turned to give me a mischievous smile, and I could tell my curiosity was giving him way too much pleasure, but I couldn't help but persist.
"But what was it?"
"What difference does it make, as long as it works?"
I thought about that long and hard as his attention returned to the movie. Whatever it was had enabled me to get through most of the day and I probably could have pushed through the afternoon if there hadn't been that incident with Matt. Sure I'd woken up feeling like hell, but those effects had already disappeared, maybe it was worth the risk? Still the secrecy he wrapped around it made me uneasy. But then again, that was probably just the reaction he was going for.
"Yes." I said finally. "I want more."
Damon's smirk was instantaneous. "What will you give me for it?"
"What do you want?" I countered, eyes narrowing.
His smile widened, leaving me to my own conclusions as to what he wanted based on the way he was looking at me; like he wanted to eat me up.
"Eewh no way…" Whatever it was he wanted, the price seemed too high.
"I'm curious to know what you think I want Elena." Damon said thoughtfully, watching me carefully.
"Just tell me what you want for it." My brows drew together in annoyance, tired of talking in circles. He either was or wasn't going to help me; I didn't want to keep playing guessing games.
"I'll settle for… a kiss."
A kiss? I frowned at that, things were moving towards shaky ground between the two of us. While I might have been able to rationalize the kiss we'd shared in the alleyway, consciously choosing to kiss him now was a step I wasn't sure I was prepared to make. "I don't think Stefan would like that very much." I used him like a shield.
"Stefan doesn't have to know about it then." He pointed out.
I shook my head, it just didn't seem right. "I don't like keeping secrets from him."
"Oh, so you were planning on telling him about our little hunting trip then? Or the taste test? Or the fact that you've tasted my blood before his?" Somehow that last seemed to be a significant factor, though I didn't understand why at the time.
I was silent at that, my lips pressed together in a mutinous line as I mulled that over. While it was true I had no intention of telling Stefan any of those things, this still seemed to be in an entirely different ballpark.
Shifting in my seat to face him more fully, I studied him for a moment. "Why would you possibly want to coerce me into kissing you? I mean doesn't it bother you to try and force something like that? It wouldn't mean anything."
Damon just smiled at that, and I could only guess at his motives.
But I needed that drug to get me through the day if I wanted to continue to play at being a human... And it was just a kiss, right? No harm in that. It wouldn't be a betrayal of Stefan because it wouldn't be a real kiss. "Alright, I'll do it."
A/N: I'm sure we can all applaud Elena's sacrifice in agreeing to kiss Damon. :P I can't believe Vampire Diaries is almost here again! Woot!
In other news, the new book is coming along well. I'm about 14K into it so far, so a little ahead of schedule.
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