I LIVE!!!!!!! I think. If I hold my hand in front of my face, I feel hot air. But I digress.

Look! It's back! And with a new chapter that does not involve Yoruichi or Soi Fon having children! I think so far I've only got one of those.

By the way, I'm done with the yuri/yaoi pairings for the moment. They're too much effort.

Also, for the record, Shihouin Riari makes a comeback. That's the last kid from the first chapter.

Author's Sadistic Meter Comment: Poor, poor Shunsui. HIT HIM AGAIN!!! (this has been an 'Author's Sadistic Meter Comment'. Please continue reading your irregularly scheduled crack.)

Love, xinglongneo. Bitches.

1. It took a really long time for Nanao to finally give into Shunsui. If you want to know the exact time (down to the seconds), go ask Shunsui.

2. Yes, Shunsui. He's very good with numbers.

3. It's how he manages to remember Nanao's birthday as well as their children's.

4. He has to constantly remind Nanao when their children's birthdays are. He thinks it's kind of cute.

5. He also does the division finances, much to Nanao's chagrin.

6. Nanao told him that they were going to get married before she even became pregnant. Shunsui didn't have a problem with that.

7. Though Yamamoto was not pleased by the fact that the Eighth Division captain and vice-captain were in a romanitc relationship.

8. And then Soi Fon walked up and picked up Nanao's book and made the comment that it was just as heavy as her frying pan.

9. They then got into a discussion about hitting people with frying pans vs. hitting people with heavy books.

10. Yamamoto decided to keep his mouth shut.

11. But it was the beginning of a very long (and completely odd and highly scary) friendship between Nanao and Soi Fon.

12. And yes, Nanao and Shunsui did manage to get married before Nanao got pregnant.

13. By like the skin of their teeth, as she got pregnant a week after they got married.

14.The delivery of their eldest daughter required lots of Nanao pulling Shunsui's hair and her screaming that she hates him.

15. And then Shunsui cuddling his little Mayumi-chan while Nanao slept in the Fourth Division.

16. Just so you know, Shunsui doesn't call her 'his little Mayumi-chan' anymore. If he tried, Mayumi would hit him with the heaviest object in her vicinity.

17. That's probably because Mayumi is Soi Fon's godchild.

18. None of the others are Soi Fon's godchildren – Shunsui told Nanao he could only survive one of their children being Soi Fon's godchild.

19. He told Nanao this when she was pregnant with their second daughter, Chinatsu.

20. Chinatsu likes being called 'my little Chinatsu-chaaan!'. But then, she's more like Shunsui than like Nanao. She only ever says 'otousan' as 'Otousaaaaaan!'.

21. Mayumi finds this embarrassing and so refuses to be seen in public with them.

22. Nanao just sort of ignores it. And them. And then she wanders off to find Mayumi and commiserate.

23. Which usually means they end up in the Second Division with Soi Fon. Where Chinatsu and Shunsui are too afraid to go.

24. By the time their third daughter, Fujita, was born, Shunsui had already started practicing the speech he was going to tell all the boys that were going to want dates with his lovely daughters.

25. Mayumi heard it once and swore never to bring home any of her dates.

26. "It doesn't matter, you don't like boys," Chinatsu (rather unhelpfully) put in.

"How do you know what I like?" Mayumi shot back. Chinatsu didn't say anything, which didn't help the angry Mayumi situation. "WELL!?" Mayumi prompted, reaching for the heaviest object in the room (which somehow happened to be a frying pan she'd gotten for Christmas from her godmother).

"IsawyoukissingSoiFon!" Chinatsu managed to get out just in time to avoid getting hit by a frying pan. Mayumi stared at her blankly for a few seconds and then broke out in guffaws. "What?" Chinatsu asked.

"You really need glasses," Mayumi replied.

27. For the record, Mayumi like boys. If she didn't, she would have walked up to Shunsui and told him that he needs a speech for when she brings home her current girlfriend.

28. Just the thought of saying that to Shunsui sometimes makes Mayumi wish she like girls.

29. But when she thinks that, she simply remembers Shunsui's face when Chinatsu came home with glasses.

30. Don't worry about Fujita. Chinatsu and Mayumi argue over who's going to get to teach her to be a shinigami (as Mayumi is a tomboy and Chinatsu is way overly flamboyant and girly).

31. And then Nanao and Shunsui had…another girl. This one they named Rei.

32. After Rei's birth, Shunsui started having nightmares about what boys were doing to his daughters.

33. Nanao tried to take his mind off of it, but this only resulted in yet another girl.

34. They named this one Tama.

35. Shunsui found the only thing that could keep his mind off of dirty little boys getting to his daughters was paperwork.

36. Hey, it made Nanao happy. She could actually spend time out of the office taking care of Tama. And Rei. And Fujita. And Chinatsu. And Mayumi.

37. She decided they needed to stop having kids.

38. But she got pregnant yet again.

39. This time they had a BOY. Shunsui actually wept for joy (not like it's hard for Shunsui to weep for anything). They named him Satoshi.

40. But Shunsui still had to worry about giving the talk to…um, four of his daughters.

41. "Hey Otousan!"

"Yes?" Shunsui asked, looking up from his paperwork to look at his daughter.

"You don't have to worry about giving my date the talk."

"Why not?" Shunsui asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, because my date's Riari," Fujita said, rubbing the back of her head.

"SAY WHAT!?"

42. In the next room over…

"You know this is all your fault!" Mayumi hissed at Chinatsu.

"Is not!" Chinatsu shot back.

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"IS NOT!"

"IS TOO, DAMMIT!"

43. And then Nanao walked in and asked, "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Nothing," Mayumi told her mother.

"Fujita brought home a girl," Chinatsu said at the same time. Mayumi was not amused.

"Has she broken up with Riari?" Nanao asked, "If she has, I think Soi Fon will hit with a frying pan."

44. Needless to say, both Mayumi and Chinatsu were shocked that their mother knew about Fujita and Riari's relationship before they did.

45. "I'm not stupid," Nanao told them.

"Yeah," said Mayumi, "but it took you like three thousand years to figure out that Otousan wasn't joking!"

"Special case!" Nanao shot back.

"Right," Chinatsu said with a raised eyebrow.

"Why did you have to chose now to get along!?" Nanao asked, covering her face with her hands.