A/N: So far so good! Enjoy my convoluted mind. This starts on the 14th and goes on to the 15th.

Christmas Special! The Third Day of Christmas- Kanda

*~Kanda~*

December 14

I really, really, really hate detention. And Komui, who was the cause for my detention. Well, ok, so Linali was actually the one to blame for that, but I, like almost everyone at Headquarters, don't blame Linali for anything. But not because I think she's cute, like everyone at Headquarters.

Because I don't.

No, I don't blame her because she is a strong young lady with one helluva kick. Especially with those Dark Boots.

What else do I hate? Oh yeah. I also hate this wimpy dog that keeps freaking out at everything that moves. I can't believe I'm thinking this, but I'd rather have detention with Snape or Cross than be in the woods with this wimp.

I grew bored with searching for Hagrid's "lost" hippogriff a long time ago. Witherwings was a smart bird… horse… thing. He probably just went for a flight. So instead of looking for him, I started scouting the area for Akuma and possible hiding places for Innocence. So far, nothing.

When I got back to Hagrid's hut, Witherwings was eating a rodent contentedly and Hagrid was sobbing into a large flowery handkerchief. "Look Kanda! Ole Witherwings came back!"

"Great, " I grunted, "Can I go now?"

Hagrid waved me off and I made my way back to the castle. I leaned against the railing on the first set of stairs to wait for Linali. Snape worked her the full two hours, so I usually sat and waited for her. Before he went fricking crazy on me, Komui demanded that Beansprout, Lavi and I protect her from "horrible, hormonal, teenage boys". I know she can take care of herself, but the girl is so oblivious that only a really obvious attempt to make a pass at her gets her attention.

If I'm with her, most guys don't bother.

Those who do learn very quickly not to.

Simple. I checked my pocket watch. Dumbledore had given one to both Lavi and me, saying that wizards usually got one when the turned seventeen years of age. Quarter past seven, if I'm reading this thing right. Forty minutes until Linali got out and fifty till curfew. Better start on that stupid essay about ways to identify man-eating plants for Sprout.

I cracked open a book from the library called Three Hundred and Sixty-Five Ways to Identify Man-Eating Plants. Should be helpful right? Let's see…

The first way to identify a dangerous and man-eating plant is to take a close look at the petals. If they look sharp, back away slowly. Why would anyone get close enough to a what they think is a man-eating plant to even check if it had petal teeth?

The second way is to smell the air around it. If it has a metallic scent, do not approach and hastily inform the resident wizard ranger to keep Muggles away. Or, you know, set it on fire. Would Professor Sprout even accept my answers? Nah. Better stick to the book. I checked the assignment to see how long this had to be. Three feet of parchment. Fantastic.

By the time Linali showed up, I was sitting against the wall with my books scattered around me and trying to write on the back of my Defense Against the Dark Arts for Dummies text book. I had gotten about two feet done. "What are you doing?"

"Homework."

"Oh. How long have yo been waiting?" she asked as she helped me pick up my things.

"Forty minutes." She winced at my tone and handed me my bag. I rolled up my essay and walked with her up the moving stairs.

"Hallows Eve," said Linali when we finally reached the Fat Lady. "Evening Miss Li, Mr. Kanda," the portrait said pleasantly while swinging open.

By the time everyone had gotten back to their common rooms, the Gryffindors had been able to get the green off, much to the Slytherins' (and Lavi's) dismay. So James, looking normal once again, was in the common room, glowering across the chessboard at Monet, who was apparently beating him at Wizard's Chess. As usual.

"Hi guys," said Linali, smiling James' sulking face. Jones sat up and waved Linali over. "Lina, can you give us a hand? Professor Cross gave us a Defense Spell to learn but it wasn't in the book. Rosie thinks it's Chinese."

Linali wandered over to them and I sat alone at an empty table to finish my Herbology work. Right when I finished up, Mini Indian Girl plopped onto the couch next to me and proceeded to stare unashamedly at me for a good ten minutes.

"What?" I asked, looking at her apprehensively. This first year had a knack for asking strange questions and she certainly didn't disappoint tonight. "Are you going to get Linali a romantic Christmas present?"

I stared at her like she'd grown a third head. "No. Why would I do that?"

She cocked her head to the side and asked with big puppy eyes, "Isn't she your girlfriend?"

Oh Holy Mother of Jesus.

"No," I finally choked out. "Don't you have homework or something?"

"I finished it. Do you need help picking out a present? I wanna help! How about make-up? Does Linali like make-up?" asked Mini Indian Girl eagerly. Oh God, I'd never get rid of her.

"How would I know? Do I look like the kind of guy a girl would talk to about that stuff?"

She nodded.

I'm adding this little girl to the list of things I hate.

I packed up all my things and stalked to the boy's dorm. I had just gotten to my door when a little voice piped up, "What about jewelry?"

How did I not notice this tiny child following me?

"A stuffed animal?"

'That's it.' I thought and I picked her up by the back of her crimson sweater vest and carried her down the stairs. "Someone explain to me why this small irritating child won't leave me alone?"

Everyone looked up from what they were doing and James laughed when he saw how I was holding the first year. Rose and Linali apparently didn't find it funny. "Kanda, what are you doing?" shrieked Rose.

"Yuu Kanda, put Ayita-chan down this instant!" cried Linali. She was so upset that she had reverted to Mandarin and didn't even realize it. [A/N: Seeing that Kanda was raised in China, let's just pretend he speaks the language.]

"Get her to leave me alone," I answered back, "And while you're at it, switch back to English."

Linali huffed and looked at Ayita. "Hey sweetie, I think you should leave Kanda alone now. He's grumpy."

I scowled at her choice of words but I put Mini Indian Girl on her feet. Gently, of course. Binesi wouldn't thank me for hurting her sister. That girl knew some good hexes and I wasn't going to risk it. Mini-Binesi shrugged ad skipped up to the girl's dorm. I stomped back upstairs but this time James came with me to the room. "So what did Ayita want?"

"Does it matter?"

"Well now it does, since you don't want to tell me."

"Bug off, Potter."

"I'll ask the little girl you know. I'm not above weaseling it out of eleven year olds. Ask Albus, I got him in trouble a lot when Lily was a kid."

I groaned as I opened the door. "She wanted to know if I was getting Linali a present. And no, I'm not."

James tsked when I walked to my bed and sat down. "That's not the way to treat the future mother of your future children."

I stared at him.

"What?"

"You're sick in the head, Potter." I pulled off my shirt and closed the curtains around my bed. But now I had started thinking about what to get her as a gift.

Yeah, James and Mini Indian Girl have just shot to the very top of 'The Things I Hate' list.

Since I was already thinking about, I might as well go over my options.

Cosmetics? 'No way am I walking into that section of a store.'

Jewelry? 'Expensive. But it's a maybe.'

Clothes? 'She already has a wardrobe bigger than this room at home, courtesy of Sister Complex.'

Shoes? 'See clothes.'

Ugh, why is this so hard? Screw it. I turned on my side and fell asleep.

December 15

Since it was the week before Christmas, sign ups to go home for the break went around at breakfast in the morning. "Are you all going home for Christmas?" asked Linali with a smile.

"Oh, didn't I tell you Lina?" asked Rose in surprise. "My parents said that I could bring to friends home for the holidays with me. Usually I only bring one, but Hugo isn't bringing anyone this year. I was going to invite you and Lavi."

Linali tilted her head. "Why me and Lavi?"

"Because I'm inviting Kanda, Al is inviting Walker and Lily invited Malfoy as a favor to Albus," said James, cheerfully piling sausage onto his plate.

"When exactly were you planning to ask me?" I grunted.

He grinned. "Now."

"Well, aren't you considerate," muttered Lily.

Dumbledore stood and called for attention. "I am pleased to announce that today you will be given an extra Hogsmeade trip for Christmas shopping. Be on your best behavior, for you are representing our fine school. Professor Marian will be accompanying you to the village," I heard Beansprout bang his head on his plate while a few Slytherins snickered, "Now, let us continue with our breakfast!"

The other exorcists and I were, as usual, stuck with the Potter and Weasley plus one Malfoy brigade. All the Potter and Weasleys sans Albus were wearing maroon sweaters. I only knew this because I'd seen them before everyone had donned their coats. Albus had been wearing a emerald sweater. James and Albus wore brown trench coats over them and Hugo had on a Chuddley Cannons sweatshirt. Lily and Rose had donned a Hollyhead Harpies and Weird Sisters sweatshirts respectively. Malfoy was wearing a blue, black and red striped hoodie. Beansprout didn't own anything besides his Exorcist coat, but no one seemed to care that he was wearing what looked like a military coat. I had borrowed a cheap black hoodie with the words, "strength is from the heart," in Mandarin from Chaoji before the mission, so I was fine. Lavi had on a bomber jacket he had bought in London while Linali was wearing a slimming white pea coat that Miranda had gotten her for her birthday. Everyone wore their House scarves and black or white clothe gloves.

The younger Weasel and the Potter-ette were excited since this was the first Hogsmeade trip of the year. Beansprout would've been excited, too, if the General weren't the one chaperoning.

We wandered around the village as the girls window-shopped. James had gone to the local Quidditch shop with Little Weasel while Four-eyes and Malfoy zeroed in on Zonko's Joke Shop. Cross had dragged Beansprout into the Three Broomsticks so I was stuck with the girls. They all dodged inside a shop with a nice window display and started to hold earrings and necklaces up to examine them. I leaned against a pillar and watched as Lily and Rose dragged Linali from wrack to wrack of accessories. I closed my eyes and rolled my neck. It was stiff from last night's rather fitful sleep.

I jumped slightly when something was plopped on my head. "Looks good on you, Kanda," giggled Lily and Linali laughed. I whipped the hat off my head and saw that it was a top hat. I tossed it back to her. "It'd look better on Beansprout."

Linali shook her head as she wandered away to look at belts with Rose. Lily put the hat back and said, "Lina was looking at a headband over there."

She pointed in the opposite direction and went to catch up with her cousin and Linali. Curiosity got the better of me and I discreetly looked at the hair ties and ribbons. Of course, it probably would've helped if Lily had told me which headband Linali had wanted.

I figured since we would be spending Christmas at their place, I should get the hosts presents. I picked up a ribbon with a bunny on it for Lily and a black headband with fake blood red rose for Weaselette. I looked aimlessly at the wrack when a bit of glass caught my eye: a beaded hair tie with a glass butterfly on it. Its wings were jade green and the delicate body was navy blue. I picked it up off the shelf and looked for the girls. They were still gushing over shoes. I quickly went to the register and dumped my resents for the girl on the table. "How much?"

The clerk glanced a the tags. "10 Galleons."

Thank God Dumbledore had started giving us paychecks.

"Since we've done this whole thing so strangely, I figured we'd pay you for your services as well," was his reply when we asked why we were getting money. Considering I blew all my cash on that broom, this had been welcome news. It was especially welcome now. I dropped the coins on the table as she bagged up the ribbons. I quickly shoved the bag in the pocket of my jeans as I walked over to the girls.

"Ready to leave?" I grunted. The girls agreed and we continued on our way through the village. "Let's go to Madam Puddifoot's!" said Lily as she pulled Rose and Linali towards a very small, very pink teashop.

"I'm going to find the guys," I mumbled hastily and the girls waved me away. I went into the Quidditch shop and bought a pair of gloves for James and two coffee mugs with Snitches on them: one for Komui and one for James' dad, who was a Seeker back in the day. I got one with a Quaffle for his mom. I got a set of Gobstones for Hugo and bought Albus a gift card to Zonko's before ducking into the Three Broomsticks to look for them. Cross was drinking and Beansprout had managed to get away from him. He was sitting with the other guys at a booth in the back.

"Hey Kanda! Grab a butterbeer!" cheered Lavi, shoving the bottle at me. I saw Beansprout sipping at one, so I figured they weren't alcohol. I took one and sat next to Malfoy. There was pleasant conversation until Cross magically magnified his voice to yell that all the Hogwarts students needed to come meet at the bar in five minutes or they'd be left behind. I felt the presents for everyone move in my pockets as we flew back to the castle. While my roommates wrestled that night and messed around with Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans and some weird animal candies, I carefully wrapped the gifts up and put them in my carry on. Then I meditated until James yanked back the curtains to make me eat one of the animal candies. And so the third day of Christmas ended with me howling like a wolf while my roommates howled with laughter.

A/N: Lol couldn't help it, I had to do the candies from HP3 movie. But I didn't want to steal it completely. Review.~